Here With Me
by LJS4everandAlways2
Summary: He thought she hated him. She thought she was just bragging rights. He kept missing his chances. She was running away scared. A story of love that follows Lily and James from 6th year until graduation. PreDH. RR!
1. Introduction

Chapter One

Summary: He thought she hated him. She thought she was just bragging rights. He kept missing his chances. She was running away scared. A story of love that follows Lily and James from 6th year until graduation. R/R!

Disclaimer: So no one sues me, I'm not JKR, I could never compare to JKR and you all know that. She is the almighty goddess of all things Harry Potter/magic. Her riches are not mine. Enjoy!

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"The late 1600's were a particular difficult time for the magical community. Goblin rebellions were at an all time high and muggle persecutions were happening more often. In 1692, governments met together and created International Statute of Wizarding Secrecy. At first these new policies were resisted…"

"It's amazing how Binns can drone on and on and never realize there's a class full of students drooling off into space"Sirius wrote on a piece of parchment and passed it to James, who was sharing a desk with him.

Smirking, James wrote back and passed it quickly to Sirius, continuing his doodle on his page of "notes". So far he had come up with a couple new Quidditch plays, which he intended on showing Gina Davies, the Gryffindor Quidditch captain, later at practice, a detailed drawing of the Marauders next prank, and in the corner, barely visible, an elaborate lily. James began drawing the pollen in the center of the lily, every now and then glancing across the room to the person his mind was on.

Lily Amara Evans was the smartest and most wanted girl in school. Although she was desired by 97 percent of the male populous, she wasn't showy, scandalous, or anything remotely like a scarlet woman. It was her kindness and her natural beauty that was a magnet for any guy, not to mention she was very slender and fit.

One particular guy had chased after Lily Evans for six years, ever since their first day of school when they were eleven. He loved her thick red hair and her sparkling emerald eyes. He loved the way her uniform fit her better than any other girl in school and the way she walked as if she floated on air. He especially loved it when he got her so mad that her eyes flashed dangerously and her breath came out shorter and quicker because she was telling him off. And when he did witness her smile, he wanted to melt right into her.

Eyes darting discretely from his paper to the gorgeous redhead, James Harold Potter thought about everything he loved about Lily Evans. Even though the only words they've ever exchanged were full of mocking or dislike, James was head over heels in love with her. He knew they were meant to be together, knew it ever since the first day he laid eyes on her. Of course there was the small yet well-known fact that Lily absolutely despised everything about James.

_But the course of love never did run smooth,_ James thought to himself, quoting unthinkingly from "A Midsummer's Nights Dream". Remus had given him that and Romeo and Juliet to read, in hopes to improve his knowledge of romance, and to broaden his vocabulary. Instead, James had quoted lines from it whenever he was around Lily. His plan was that she would hear how romantic he was and love the fact he knew about muggle literature, but instead she quoted back the nastier sides of Shakespeare's works.

James looked up once more and analyzed Lily a little bit longer. She was the only one in the classroom even attempting to take notes, but it seemed she was fighting a loosing battle. Lily had her legs crossed, tapping her right foot almost spasmodically in order to keep her from drifting into sleep. She was leaning to the left, her head resting in her left hand as her right slowly wrote down key points. Her eyes were half closed, yet James could still see the vibrant emerald of her eyes, and her lips were slightly parted, making James' heart beat faster.

Sirius' snigger broke him out of his trance, James looked over at his best friend who quirked an eyebrow, his eyes dancing with mirth. James just rolled his eyes and continued doodling, this time drawing Snape suspended upside down by his ankle.

That was when James really realized just how much Lily hated him, about four months ago at the end of their fifth year. The Marauders were outside, enjoying the completion of O.W.L.'s. Lily was by the lake with her friends, Rita Garbunkal and Aurelia Moore, and as usual James was attempting to impress her from afar. Sirius said he was bored and James spotted Snape, one of their regular victims.

"_All right, Snivellus?" James asked loudly, with Sirius right behind him._

_Like any victim of Sirius and James', Snape reacted quickly, dropping his book bag and diving his hand into his robe pockets for his wand. But James was much more graceful and shouted, "_Expelliarmus!_" with ease._

_Snape's wand sailed behind him and just as he was going to grab it, Sirius laughed his bark-like laugh and said, "_Impedimenta!_" Snape was knocked off his feet; many students stopped their previous activities to turn and watch the ritual that occurred usually everyday._

_James and Sirius advanced on the panting Snape lying defenselessly on the ground. James kept looking back at the lake, hoping Lily would start watching. Peter was getting over-excited, as he usually did, and was almost pouncing over Remus to see the fight better._

"_How'd the exam go, Snivelly?" James asked._

"_I was watching him, his nose was touching the parchment," Sirius replied, his words sharp and dripping with hate. "There'll be great grease marks all over it, they won't be able to read a word."_

_Many people laughed, as usual, and James heard Peter's squeal of laughter. James almost rolled his eyes in response to Peter's eagerness; sometimes he didn't know why they put up with him. Snape was struggling to move, but the jinx hadn't worn off yet and looked as if he was moving through a fog. "You—wait," Snape struggled, "You—wait…"_

"_Wait for what?" said Sirius coolly. "What're you going to do, Snivelly, wipe your nose on us?"_

_Snape let out a stream of foul words as he tried to curse them without his wand, but was unsuccessful. "Wash out your mouth," James said coldly, eyes darting back to Lily by the lakeside. "_Scourgify!_" _

_Snape's mouth filled instantly with bright pink soap bubbles, making him look like a rabid Valentine's Day dog. The bubbles were beginning to choke him and James considered lifting the curse, but everyone was laughing so much. Well, not everyone. "Leave him ALONE!" someone's voice yelled from behind the scene._

_James and Sirius turned and saw Lily standing there. James ran a hand through his hair, almost as a reflex, as he did whenever Lily came around. "All right, Evans?" said James in the most mature voice he could muster, switching from brutality to charm in a second._

"_Leave him alone," Lily repeated, looking at him in disgust. "What's he done to you?"_

"_Well," James began, "it's more the fact that he _exists_, if you know what I mean…"_

_Almost everybody laughed at this, with the exception of Remus and Lily. "You think you're funny," Lily said coldly, "but you're just an arrogant, bullying toerag, Potter. Leave him _alone_."_

_James saw his opportunity, the past year he was making desperate attempts, and now was another one of those times. "I will if you go out with me, Evans," James said quickly. "Go on…Go out with me, and I'll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again."_

"_I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid," Lily retorted._

"_Bad luck, Prongs," Sirius said briskly, turning around to face Snape. James was still staring at Lily when Sirius yelled, "OY!"_

_James turned, lifting his wand, but he wasn't fast enough. After being blinded by a flash of light from Snape's wand, a searing pain ran through his cheek. Immediately after, James flicked his wand and in another flash of light Snape was hanging upside down in the air by his ankle. Gravity worked it's magic to make his robes fall over his head to reveal almost sickly white legs and a pair of graying underpants. James, Sirius, and Peter roared with laughter, along with many others outside. James saw Lily's furious expression twitch for just a moment, as if she was going to let out a smile, but instead said, "Let him down!"_

"_Certainly," James complied, jerking his wand upward. Snape fell but was up in a second, robes still revealing most of his leg, and was ready for the counter attack. But Sirius beat him to it. "_Pertrificus Totalus!_"_

"_LEAVE HIM ALONE!" Lily shouted, pulling out her own wand. James and Sirius exchanged a quick, frightened glance; Lily was lethal with her wand. _

"_Ah, Evans, don't make me hex you," James said, hoping to deter away from his own fear._

"_Take the curse off him, then!"_

_Sighing, James once again complied and muttered the counter curse. "There you go," James said. "You're lucky Evans was here, Snivellus—"_

"_I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!" Snape interrupted nastily._

_James blood boiled as Lily said coolly, "Fine, I won't bother you in the future. And I'd wash your pants if I were you, _Snivellus_."_

"_Apologize to Evans!" James roared, his wand pointed at Snape, ready to make it so he could never bear children._

"_I don't want _you_ to make him apologize," Lily shouted, rounding on James. "You're just as bas as he is…"_

"_What?" James yelped, hurt that she would say that. "I'd NEVER call you a—you-know-what!"_

"_Messing up your hair because you think it looks cool to like you've just got off your broomstick, showing off with that stupid Snitch, walking down corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you just because you can—I'm surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head on it. You make me SICK." And with her speech, she turned and hurried away._

"_Evans! Hey, EVANS!" James shouted, but she didn't look back. "What is it with her?" James asked as casually as he could, like what she said didn't put a large gouge in his pride, but he didn't think he was so successful._

"_Reading between the lines, I'd say she thinks you're a bit conceited, mate," Sirius replied._

_James just couldn't believe that, he was in no way conceited, it wasn't his fault everybody thought great things about him. "Right," he said furiously, "right—"_

_In a flash Snape was once again hanging upside down and James taunted him for a good twenty minutes, mostly to get back at Lily, even if she wasn't there to see it. But after all the fun was over (Professor Sprout broke up the torments immediately, giving Sirius and James detention), James went looking for Lily, wanting to explain why Snape deserved the torment and to make it clear he was just trying to defend her._

_Lily was in the common room, reading a book in the corner. James ruffled his hair for good measure, then stopped suddenly, remembering what she had said about it. _But she doesn't know what she's talking about…_James had thought to himself and walked over to Lily, grinning cheekily. "All right, Evans?"_

_Barely looking up, Lily's eyes narrowed dangerously. "What do you want?" Lily spat. "Are you here to find some other innocent student to embarrass?_

"_Look," James began heatedly, but Lily interrupted him._

"_If you're here to explain what an arse Snape is and how he deserved what you did to him, you don't have to waste your breath," Lily didn't look up from her book as she spoke. "I know he's a git, but that doesn't justify you and your stupid friends attacking him for no reason, making him defenseless. If you want to be childish and fight with him, don't be a coward and at least let him have his _wand_."_

_A little shocked, James didn't say anything for a minute, then took a breath to speak again, but Lily cut him off once more. "I don't want to hear any damn excuses. And I don't want to hear another attempt to ask me out. I will never go out with you and you know why. I've told you countless times why I don't like you and why I will never like you." _

_Finally snapping her book shut, Lily pushed past James to make her way up to her dorm. "You might want to get that cut checked out on your cheek, it looks positively gruesome. But it is an improvement on how you normally look."_

Yes, Miss Lily Evans could be positively vicious. Even though he was completely nice to her and didn't play any more pranks for the remainder of the year, that didn't seem good enough.

James felt something being shoved under his elbow and saw Sirius was passing him another note. It read, "So what's the game plan this year for conquering the ice queen Lily Evans?"

Thinking a moment, James responded with, "Whatever it takes, even if I have to kiss and make up with Snivellus just to make her satisfied."

As Sirius read it, his handsome features grimaced. He wrote back, "That's just wrong, mate, don't even joke about that. Disgusting."

But James thought this year would be the year she fell for him. He hadn't had much luck with this notion in the past, but he knew this year would be different.

**

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****Author Notes:** Yay I started it finally! Yes, most of the flashback was JKR's writing from Order of the Phoenix, but I tried to change the wording around so it was from James' POV and to make it more like my own writing. 

Okay, I'm not done planning this story out yet, but I have all of 6th year and the summer afterwards planned. But I need ideas for seventh year of things for our main characters to do. So if you have any suggestions, I would be happy to use them and I will credit you with the idea at the beginning of the chapter.

R/R!


	2. Maturity level of an eight year old

Summary: He thought she hated him. She thought she was just bragging rights. He kept missing his chances. She was running away scared. A story of love that follows Lily and James from 6th year until graduation. R/R!

Disclaimer: So no one sues me, I'm not JKR, I could never compare to JKR and you all know that. She is the almighty goddess of all things Harry Potter/magic. Her riches are not mine. Enjoy!

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**_"Lily, come on, put the book away at the table," Aurelia Moore said exasperatedly, looking at her red head friend in annoyance. 

Rolling her eyes, Lily dog-eared the page she was on and shoved the book in her bag, turning to her roast beef and Yorkshire pudding. "Yes, mum," Lily said disdainfully and began picking at her food.

A few moments of silence passed before Lily's other best friend, Rita Garbunkal, said vaguely, "Would you rather die by drowning or being burned alive?"

"_Rita!_" both Aurelia and Lily said at the same time.

"Well, I'm bored!" Rita said. "My mind wanders…"

"I think it wanders to far away sometimes, Rita," Lily said, nibbling on a piece of bread.

Sighing, Aurelia put in, "I would rather drown, I suppose."

With a hiss, Lily said, "Don't encourage her!" but this comment was ignored.

"I think so, also," Rita said conversationally, "I think being burned alive would be too painful."

"I cannot believe we are having this conversation," Lily muttered.

"Well what about you, Lily?" Aurelia asked. "Drowned or burned alive?"

Snorting, Lily replied, "I would die _any_ way to escape this conversation with you two."

"I got another one!" Rita exclaimed while Lily groaned and Aurelia smiled at her friend's disposition. "Would you rather have a bionic arm or a bionic leg?"

Rita had dark brown straight hair, mystique violet eyes, and, as anyone could see, a completely random mind. She was very loyal, very fun, and very sarcastic and outspoken. Like Lily, Rita was a gem in Hogwarts but rarely had any boyfriends because she was very picky and could see right through guys intentions. Plus she had her eye on a certain guy for a little over a year.

Aurelia, on the other hand, was very short, had dirty blonde hair that cascaded in perfect ringlets, and blue eyes. She was very friendly and shy with people she didn't know, but once around people she was comfortable with, she was a lot of fun. Aurelia had a couple boyfriends in the past; all of them long term for Hogwarts standards, but none of them stuck. It was just recently she had her eye on someone that was a perfect match for her.

"I really have no idea how to answer that question," Aurelia said, laughing.

"I really have no idea how to answer any of her questions," Lily said, grinning in spite of herself.

Rita pouted and reached down the table for some more crips. "Fine, don't play, but whenever you're faced with this situation—"

A loud explosion interrupted Rita's rant and screams echoed throughout the Great Hall. Once the smoke cleared, a gale of laughter broke out instead. Rubber chickens were flying around the Slytherin table, squawking and randomly attacking people enjoying dinner.

"Potter…" Lily growled under her breath and turned away from the plastic toy action.

Apparently McGonagall had the same idea as Lily. "POTTER! BLACK! LUPIN! PETTIGREW! GET UP HERE _NOW_!" McGonagall yelled, standing at the Heads table. Dumbledore was watching the chickens fly about with a small trace of amusement on his face.

The three friends watched the four boys traipse up to McGonagall, James and Sirius waving and bowing to the student body as they did so.

_They had always had far too much showmanship,_ Lily thought disdainfully.

A few minutes later, Remus and Peter sat down and Lily knew they hadn't been apart of this prank if they were dismissed so easily. James and Sirius still stood in front of their Head of House as she scolded them and awarded them detentions, no doubt.

"Not bad, not bad," Aurelia said, clapping along with most of the other students. "Not my favorite but it's defiantly up there on my list."

Rita was smiling as her eyes flicked from the continued attack of rubber chickens to Sirius and James being reprimanded. "Good, the Slytherins needed to be put in their place. With the upcoming match, they've been particularly nasty."

Lily scoffed. "You make them sound like animals."

"They are, sometimes," Rita retorted. "Whispering threats to me in the halls. 'Hey Garbunkal, you know Seeker is the most dangerous position in Quidditch' or 'I would keep your eyes wide open during the match, Garbunkal, you never know what _accidents_ might happen'. I've taken their talk for years; they should know it just bounces off me. Now Humbert, on the other hand, he gets as twitchy as a—"

Narrowing her eyes, Rita stopped talking since her two friends across from her were feigning sleep and making obnoxious snoring sounds. Rita took out her wand, thought for a moment, then said, "_Pappilious!_"

Instantly, dozens of balled of pieces of paper shot out of Rita's wand and began hitting Lily and Aurelia. The girls sat up at once and tried to shield themselves from the slaughter. "Okay, okay! We're sorry!" Lily cried, half laughing and half-screaming as she grabbed an empty plate to put in front of her face.

After the assault had ceased, Aurelia said, "You were getting into your boring Quidditch talk, we had to get you to stop," using her wand to clear up paper bits.

Nodding in agreement, Lily said scornfully, "As if I don't hear enough of it from Potter and his admiring fan girls."

Aurelia and Rita shared a knowing look. "It sounds like you might be jealous," Aurelia ventured cautiously.

Lily burst into hysterical laughter. "Jealous? Of Potter? Are you kidding me? He's nothing but a self-centered, egotistical, bullying—"

This time it was Lily who narrowed her eyes for her friends had pulled the feigning sleep trick on her. Rita and Aurelia were collapsed on the table, making loud snoring and gurgling sounds.

Instead of retaliating, Lily just let them be as she wallowed in her hate for James. She hadn't the _slightest _idea why Potter had picked her out of all the girls in school to annoy and chase after. All Lily knew was he had been doing it since that first feast she enjoyed in the Great Hall.

Lily had shared a compartment with Aurelia on that first train ride to the castle and they had seated themselves a few spots down from the Marauders, who had also bonded on the train. Throughout the whole feast the four of them were whispering heatedly and kept shooting furtive looks down the table to Lily and Aurelia. Lily remembered complaining about their noise level to Aurelia after Sirius had slammed his hand on the table and began choking on a piece of pie.

Finally, near the end of the feast James had come up to Lily and ran a hand through his hair, grinning smugly at her.

"Hello there! Are you enjoying the feast?" James had said, glancing interestedly at their food as if he had never seen the likes of it before, although he the exact same spread at his end of the table. Sirius sniggered from far off and Remus rolled his eyes exasperatedly while Peter looked on with a strange smile on his face.

Lily looked at James curiously. "Yes…is there something I can help you with?"

James rocked back and forth on his heels as he shook his head. "Not at all, I just wanted to introduce myself. I'm James Potter, star prankster and Quidditch prodigy." James held out his hand.

Once again, Lily looked at him curiously. "I'm just Lily Evans and I'm not sure what I'm gifted at."

Another hand run through his hair and cocky grin, James said, "Oh, you're Muggleborn? I've never known a muggle before!"

Even though Lily had just learned what the expression "muggle" meant, she knew quite well that she felt insulted by what James had said. "Actually, I'm a witch, or else I wouldn't be here."

"Of course, of course," James brushed past and Lily quirked an eyebrow, thinking there was something mentally wrong with this boy. "Now, Lillian—"

"I'd prefer Lily," she interrupted.

"Of course, of course Lillian," James repeated, making Lily's redhead temper rise a bit. "As I was saying, since you're new to magic, I'd be happy to introduce you to the finer aspects of the world around you—" another snigger from down the table "—and I think you would only benefit from hanging around a well known, rich, and popular guy such as myself. So if you have any questions, concerns, or general wonderings, just let me know."

Lily glanced over to Aurelia who gave her a look that said Lily was not the only one who thought this guy had some serious issues. Turning back to James, Lily smiled sweetly and said, "Well, Potter is it?"

"I'd prefer James, actually," James said, winking at Lily.

"Of course, of course, Potter," Lily said, smiling in a sweetly dangerous way. James' arrogance flickered for one second as he sensed impending doom coming his way. "As I was saying, I think I can manage on my own. I mean, if you are so popular, so rich, so good at Quidditch, and such a good prankster…correct?"

James swallowed hard and tried to bring back some of his self-assurance by nodding and running his hand through his hair again. "If you are all those things," Lily continued, "Then I don't think you would have time for a 'muggle' like me. So if you don't mind, I would like to go back to enjoying my desert in peace."

Lily swung gracefully back to Aurelia and began to get a bite of the cream cake. James still stood behind her, looking confused, no doubt. Lily saw his buddies giving him strange sign language on what do to next.

After a few moments, James cleared his throat and said, "Did I say something wrong?"

Without turning around, Lily replied, "You said many things wrong, but I don't have time to list them all."

Behind her James let out a low whistle. "Okay, Ice Queen Evans, I just thought you would appreciate and recognize a great opportunity to befriend me. But you missed out, I suppose."

In two seconds flat Lily whipped around and kicked James hard in the back of the knee. James cried out and crumpled to the ground, holding his leg tenderly. "I think it would benefit you if you learned to take your arrogance down a couple clicks," Lily said viciously.

James threw a glare over his shoulder towards his mates, who were laughing hard along with a lot of the other Gryffindors and a few Hufflepuffs who witnessed the exchange. "The offer still stands, Evans, and I think you'll warm up to me soon enough," James gasped through the pain.

"I doubt that," Lily said and turned back to her food as James hobbled back to his seat and told off his friends for their lack of assistance.

And ever since that day, James had followed her around, trying to carry her books or escort her to dinner, offering to help her with her Transfiguration studies, jinxing any body who said one mean thing to her, and teasing her endlessly on things she was not top notch at. He began asking her out in third year when Hogsmeade trips began and the teasing had reduced slightly the past year. But nothing else had changed.

Pretty much every day Lily wished for James to leave her alone once and for all and sometimes he took her advice (Remus' too) and let her alone for a couple days. The strange thought, the thought that Lily always pushed from her mind because she was ashamed that it even appeared there in the first place, was that by the second James-free day, an emptiness would ensue that only lightened when she was nearby him, whether it be in a class, a hallway, or in the crowded common room.

But as soon as she starts, God forbid, missing James, he jumps back into her life with annoying intensity and she forgets she even felt Potter-deprivation and goes back to "hating" him.

Lily came to from her thoughts and went back to the conversation at the table. Unfortunately, they were back on Potter and his friends. "It seemed a little amateur," Rita said, watching as the teachers got the rubber chickens to stop attacking and were picking them up. "Amateur for the Marauders, at least. I think they can do better."

"Everyone's a critic," someone said behind Lily with a sigh.

Internally, Lily groaned and physically, she put her forehead in her palm. "What do you want, Potter?"

"Just wondering how you liked the prank, my dear," James deep, melodic voice said too amiably.

Whipping around, Lily said nastily, "Don't _ever_ call me 'dear'."

"What did you think?" James asked again as if he hadn't been interrupted, smiling and rocking on the heels of his feet, so much like the first day they met.

Scoffing, Lily replied, "It was on the maturity level of eight year old, as most of your pranks are."

James continued to smile, not insulted a bit. "Ah, so you think some are worth while."

"I never said that."

"Yet you implied it."

"It's amazing how you find some compliment in all of my insults."

"That's only because I see the love for me hiding behind those smart ass retorts, my dear."

"_Don't call me 'dear'!"_

"I have a question for you, Evans."

"Whatever you're about to ask, the answer is no."

"Can you just wait until I ask it?"

"No."

Sighing again, James cleared his throat, spun Lily around to face him and knelt down in front of her, grasping her small hand in his two large ones. Lily tried to squirm away but it was no use; James was much stronger. "Do you know CPR?"

Rolling her eyes, Lily asked exasperatedly, "Why?"

"Cause you just took my breath away!" James said in the most lovesick voice.

Grimacing, Lily asked, "Who in the hell told you to try that?"

"Sirius, he said sixty percent of the time it works every time." James winked. Lily looked over to his friends and saw Sirius waving at Lily while Remus shook his head warily and Peter shoveled as much desert as he could get into his mouth.

"Why am I not surprised?" Lily said, more to herself, then stood and began walking out of the Great Hall.

James stood and called, "Hey, aren't you forgetting something?"

Lily turned and nearly yelled, "What?!"

"Me, of course!" James said cockily, running a hand through his hair.

The next thing James saw was a blinding jet of light accompanied by the word, "_Rictusempra!_" and he was lying on the floor, giggling madly as invisible fingers tickled every inch of him.

Some students laughed as James lay withering on the ground while Lily stormed off, but this sort of occurrence was normal and nearly apart of every day routine, so most students just continued with their discussions and dinner. No one even bothered to free him from his torment and it wasn't until his laughter escalated into high-pitched girlish giggles five minutes later that a fifth year Hufflepuff gave in and repealed the charm.

"Gits," James breathed as he sat down next to his supposed friends, wincing as he did so for he was still sore from the on slaughter.

Sirius solemnly patted his best mate on the back and said remorsefully (despite the mirth in his eyes), "Sorry about the shut down, better luck next time I suppose."

"What?" James asked hatefully. "_You_ were the one who told me that line would work and what happened?"

Scoffing, Sirius said, "Now, now, don't blame the line. It's not my fault it was inadequately executed."

James turned away from Sirius and muttered angrily, "I'll give you inadequately executed…"

With a sigh, Remus set down his fork and tried to keep his irritation out of his voice. "You've tried Sirius' shitty lines hundreds of times—"

"A hundred and seventeen, to be exact," Peter squeaked, pulling out a piece of parchment that had been with him since first year, showing a bunch tally marks under the heading "Rejected" and none under the heading "Accepted".

"Right, a hundred and seventeen times, James, and they have never worked. Not once," Remus said, now working hard to keep his voice neutral. "Don't you think you should stop taking Sirius' advice?"

"Hey!" Sirius said indignantly.

Shrugging, James said, "Well, look how many birds Sirius has in a month and he uses those lines on them, so I figure he knows what he he's talking about. Whereas you, on the other hand, have had two girlfriends in your entire stay here."

Remus grit his teeth, sick of discussing the same thing with his thick friend. "The girls that Sirius dates are pillocks who already adore him for—well, I'm not even sure what—" Remus said, trailing off a bit while Sirius gave him a nasty glare. "—but the point is Lily doesn't already adore you and she's not an idiot. So you need a new approach."

James nodded, putting his elbows on the table and folding his left hand over his right, resting lips on his thumbs in deep concentration. "Hmm, well then, I need a plan."

"Two options I know would work with Lily," Remus said not a second after, making Sirius and James look at him, surprised. "You leave her alone for a bit and if she ever talks to you or someone starts asking you about your feelings towards her, act aloof. Or you could just try being nice and not cocky, arrogant, or bullying, which is all things she doesn't like about you."

Sirius groaned and said with boredom, "That's what you always suggest, Remus."

"Exactly my frustration," Remus mumbled, "it would work yet no one even considers it."

_**

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**_The curtains around his bed were ripped open and Remus shielded his eyes from the unwelcome light. There was a small clink as a tray was set on the nightstand next to his bed and a cool hand was placed on his forehead. Remus rubbed his eyes vigorously in order to adjust them to the light and, after the white spots disappeared, he saw Madame Pomfrey standing next to his hospital bed. 

"Ah, you're finally up, it's nearly dusk," Pomfrey said, mixing various healing potions in a goblet along with other remedies with a few deft twists of her wand. "Dinner's nearly over, but I suppose you don't have much of an appetite after the night you had."

Remus sat up warily, his body aching. "Yeah, I guess you could put it that way."

With a few more mixings and mutterings, Remus received a goblet containing a steaming and nasty smelling murky green liquid. "Drink up, wait ten minutes for it to take effect, and then you're free to go. Stay away from meat for the next couple days…stick to food that easily digests," Pomfrey said busily while capping and clearing off the bottles of potion, next sterilizing the night stand with her wand.

Gagging after his first hesitant sip, Remus gasped, "I know the routine by now, I think." This comment was ignored, except for the glare that plainly told Remus to drink the entire contents of the goblet. Remus made a vain attempt to pinch his nose in order to block out the taste, but it was no use. It was far too strong and many coughs followed the emptying of the goblet.

Around fifteen minutes later, Remus was permitted to check out of the ward and he slowly made his way to the stairs leading up to the Fat Lady's portrait. Hobbling was somewhat necessary – Madame Pomfrey did her best to heal the oddly twisted ankle but said it would take a day or two to heal fully. Remus couldn't remember how it happened…there was a fuzzy memory of gnawing on his own ankle, just out of lust for some form of flesh. His need to rip and hurt had to be soothed and if there was no acceptable human around then—

"Stop!" Remus said to himself in an undertone. He didn't want to think like the savageness of the wolf. _But it's all true…_a nasty little voice said in the back of his mind. _You are the wolf. It's okay; don't be afraid to admit your craving for flesh, the want to cause pain, the longing to hear a victim cry out for mercy while you rip and tear…_

All Remus had to say was thank God for the Marauders – he had just about lost his mind back in third year, so close to suicide to escape the barbaric thoughts that entered his head around the full moon. But suicide had never entered his mind again after James angrily confronted him about his condition—

_It's not a condition…it's a disease…_

—wanting to know why the hell they were not let into Remus' trust.

Remus had laughed at first. _"Werewolf?"_ he said with one last chuckle. _"No, I'm afraid your source of information is wrong."_

"_My source of information is the lunar calendar,"_ James had snarled as Sirius and Peter came into the dormitory after him. _"And the fact that we saw Madame Pomfrey leading you down the secret passage into the Shrieking Shack on the full moon, then come back the next morning to get you out."_

"_Plus you were very harsh when we found that secret passage," _Sirius had added, a hard and hurt look in his eyes. _"You got real defensive and your voice was very cold when you told us to get out."_

"_Did you honestly think we were that stupid not to notice?"_ James growled.

He remembered making some attempt at smiling. _"Well, it did take you three years. I was wondering when you would realize that my mother should've died by all the times I told you she was sick with a range of illnesses."_ But his voice had not an ounce of laughter in it and he knew the inevitable was coming.

"_That was our other clue,"_ Peter had said simply.

A silence had fallen over the friends. _"If you guys are scared of me, or whatever, I understand. I can request to Dumbledore to change dorms or stay somewhere else…something…I don't know…"_

His friends had shared confusing stares. _"What the hell are you on about?"_ James asked.

Before Remus had been able to respond Sirius had let out a bark like laugh. _"Did you think we would stop hanging out with you? We're the Marauders…there's no way we're disbanding."_

Remus wasn't sure when he had arrived at the portrait hole, how long he had been standing there or just how many times the Fat Lady had yelled at him as she was doing now. "Are you going to say the password or what?!" she screeched, slamming her pudgy fists on the table to the left side of the portrait.

Jumping, Remus apologized profusely and gave the password. A moment later he was in the common room, which wasn't as crowded as usual for dinner had just ended. His favorite chair, a squishy arm one, by the fire was taken, but he spotted Lily at a table in the corner, presumably writing an essay for a class Remus had missed due to his condition.

_Illness…_

"Is this seat taken?" Remus asked politely, pointing across the table.

Dazed and coming out of her intellectual thoughts, Lily shook her head slightly and said, "No, go ahead and sit."

Gingerly, Remus sat in the hard backed chair, wincing as he did so. There was something else in his lower back that felt as if a knife had been stabbed and twisted around when he sat. He was carefully massaging his the sore (and most likely bruised) part when he noticed Lily was staring at him in a peculiar way. "Are you feeling alright? I knew you were sick again…"

Another attempt to smile reassuringly. "I'm fine, it's just my back gets thrown out of whack when I lay in a bed for too long." _That actually could be the reason…_Remus thought to himself interestedly.

Lily nodded and glanced down at her paper, noticing a spelling error. With a tap of her wand, the word was erased and Lily rewrote it correctly. She was really doing this just to waste some time to figure out what to say next. It was somewhat awkward to now know that her calm and tranquil friend was actually a barbaric and uncontrollable werewolf. After Remus and herself had been made prefects, she starting doubting the many excuses he made once a month.

When they reviewed werewolves in DADA, a light bulb seemed to pop over her head. If memory served her right, she might've even gasped in the middle of class. Once Lily had checked the lunar calendar, she knew that Remus was hiding. Where he went every full moon was beyond her, but she was sure Dumbledore was aware of it and put the proper safety measurements in place. Still, it was hard to accept.

"Here are the notes you missed and I made a list of the assignments plus their due dates," Lily said, lazily summoning them from her backpack that was just a couple inches away from her chair. She passed them across the table to Remus. "I figured that your friends wouldn't take down the _necessary _information that would help you," she added a little cruelly.

Remus chortled. "Surprisingly, Sirius and James take down excellent notes, except in History of Magic. I attempt, but I usually only get a couple sentences down."

Lily groaned in agreement, yet she did it with a smile. "I know, it is _so hard_ to stay awake, but I know I'll fail if I don't."

"I'm satisfied with barely passing, I don't consider it a very worthwhile class. Maybe it's just because Binns teaches it, I don't know," Remus said as Lily giggled a little. "But thank you for taking the time."

Shrugging, Lily replied, "I can't manage all the prefect duties while my partner in crime is behind on school work."

It was at that moment the rest of the after dinner crowd poured into the common room. Remus sighed with a hint of sadness. "There goes the peace and quiet."

Lily's smile turned to a grimace. "And it's about to get much worse," she said quietly to herself.

The Quidditch team came stomping into the common room, most likely Gina had kept them from eating dinner so they could drill a few more plays with unbearable intensity. James and Sirius trudged in at the back of the pack, curiously muddy, for the rest of team was not. It had rained the day before, but Lily was quite sure that today had been clear.

James did his usual scan of the common room, which he did once he entered any room, and spotted Lily's flaming red hair at once. He said something to Sirius, Sirius said something that looked encouraging back, and best friends made their way over to Remus and Lily, leaving mud tracks in their wake.

"Hey Remus," Sirius said, clapping his friend on the back. Remus looked over his shoulder in disgust – there was now a large muddy handprint on his black robes. "Feeling alright?"

Remus took a clean part of Sirius Quidditch robes and stretched it to his shoulder blade, wiping the mud off with it. Lily grinned and bit her lip. "Much better than last night, thanks for asking. By the way, why in the world are you two the only ones muddy?"

Sirius and James shared a quirky glance and laughed. "Oh, we were mud wrestling," James said, then turned to Lily. "Turn you on, Evans?" James suggestively winked his eyebrows.

Disgusted, Lily replied hatefully, "The only way I will ever be turned on by you is the day you disappear forever."

"I'll only disappear if you come with me," James said in the a revolting lovesick voice, "Consider it, Evans, an eternity with yours truly."

"Never," Lily said, eyes narrowed treacherously.

Next James put a hand to his heart, another hand to Lily's cheek, and began to sway slightly. Lily flinched away from his hand but James ignored it. "Doubt thou the stars are fire; Doubt that the sun doth move; Doubt truth to be a liar; But never doubt I love."

Sirius added an appropriate "awwwwww" over James' shoulder, but it didn't faze Lily. Immediately she responded with, "Death, lie thou there, by a dead man interred."

Sirius added an appropriate "ooooooooo" over James' shoulder, but it didn't faze James. "Evans, I know you love me, I just wish you would finally accept your inner longings and go out with me already!"

Lily said nothing and just sent a lethal glare his way. James' grin faltered and he looked somewhat frightened. "I think she might make you disappear forever, you might want to get out of here, mate," Sirius said, a little scared looking also. James nodded in agreement and Sirius pushed him up the staircase.

As soon as they were out of sight, Lily clenched her fists near her head and let out a low, irritated scream. "Why doesn't he just stop? He's been driving me insane since first year!" Remus tried to respond but Lily cut him off. "Why don't you have some control over him? You know I hate it when he continually asks me out!"

"And you know I have tried many a time to make him tone down," Remus said, still on edge even though the full moon had come and gone. "He just seems to like the sound of Sirius' ridiculous ideas more."

**_

* * *

_Author Note:** I am deeply, deeply, deeply sorry it has taken an eternity to update. Everything has been absolutely insane. This chapter has been sitting here, half done, for a month now and I decided to put off my Creative Writing II short story and finish this. I feel so bad, really I do, and I tried so hard to make this chapter somewhat lengthy and very good. I don't know what readers like better – long chapters with longer updates or short chapters with shorter updates. Tell me what you prefer and I'll try to get the next one out way sooner. 

R/R por favor! ((Puss in Boots face))


	3. Quite a nice arse on that one

Summary: He thought she hated him. She thought she was just bragging rights. He kept missing his chances. She was running away scared. A story of love that follows Lily and James from 6th year until graduation. R/R!

Disclaimer: So no one sues me, I'm not JKR, I could never compare to JKR and you all know that. She is the almighty goddess of all things Harry Potter/magic. Her riches are not mine. Enjoy!

**Please read Author Notes at end, I need help and advice on a lot of things. Thanks!**

* * *

December… 

"Excellent!" Horace Slughorn, the potions teacher, exclaimed. "Wonderful! Snape, I believe you are the most brilliant potions student I've ever had!"

The lank and greasy hair did not move an inch as Snape inclined his head. Usually, when a student was given an outstanding compliment, their face lit up and a small smile found it's way onto their lips. But Snape's sneering and pale complexion had no change. "Thank you, Professor."

A snort erupted from the back of the room. "Wonderful Snape! Excellent Snape! You are bloody amazing Snape!" James mocked cruelly, causing Sirius and Peter to snicker and Remus to let out a small grin as he quickly added another ingredient to his grey potion.

Slughorn didn't hear (or ignored) this mocking, but instead bent closer to the perfectly pearly potion whose steam was rising in spirals. "My boy, did you add extra rose petals to the mixture? Its absolutely worked wonders!"

Once again, Snape inclined his head and Sirius tried to suppress a bark-like laugh. "No, he added the grease from his hair in hopes if a girl smelled it, she would fall in love with him," Sirius said and James began choking slightly. "Hey Pete, go smell his potion, maybe you'll fall in love with old Snivellus."

Before Peter could indignantly respond, a shadow fell over the two tables from Slughorn. His hands were on his portly hips and his stubby fingers were tapping impatiently. "Let's see what you two have created, Black and Potter."

Slughorn hesitated for a moment then took a small sniff of Sirius' potion. The next moment, Slughorn backed away quickly, coughing and gagging as his pudgy faced turned the color of an overcooked lobster. "Black! What in God's name – did you forget to add the frozen Ashwinder eggs?"

Sirius looked at Slughorn blankly then let out a sheepish grin. "Do you mean these eggs?" he asked, holding up two in his hand. "Well, I suppose so, but they're not very frozen – more like melting…"

Panic sprouted on Slughorn's face. "My boy—" he began, but was interrupted by the eggs, which began spurting blue flames that leapt to anything flammable in the room. Sirius dropped the eggs quickly – the flame had burned his hand pretty badly.

"You idiot!" Lily Evans screeched, immediately jumping up to assist Slughorn, Snape right behind her. "Ashwinder eggs will burn down a home within _seconds_ if they aren't kept frozen!"

Since Slughorn, Lily, and Snape were the only ones who understood what had to be done, they helped with refreezing the eggs and putting out the fires that had erupted on student's robes, book bags, and chairs.

"Huh," James stated interestedly as he turned the pages of his potion book while chaos ensued around him. "So that's what I forgot…"

Lily rolled her eyes and sat back down, muttering under her breath about "incompetence" and "bigheaded gits". Meanwhile, Slughorn mopped his brow with a pink flowered handkerchief and made his way over to Lily's worktable that was shared with Aurelia. "I know I can always depend on you, Evans," Slughorn said, smiling as he took a whiff of her potion. "Perfect as usual!" Slughorn chuckled. "A dab at potions! I really believe you should've been sorted in the Slytherin, my dear. Very cunning…"

Lily's eyes narrowed with this comment, as she usually did whenever Slughorn suggested this. "Cunning, maybe, but I'm not a coward who hides under powerful friends."

Slughorn chuckled again, not offended in the least. "Cheeky, cheeky…Alright students!" Slughorn said with a clap of his hands. "Please bottle some of your potion and label it, then leave it on my desk for grading. Put any unused Ashwinder eggs into the cooler and empty out your cauldrons. Since Amortentia is illegal in this school and I had to beg Dumbledore to let me teach it, you are not to take any out of this classroom. Not only is it very powerful, but if brewed improperly as, forgive me, most of yours are, the side effects are nearly fatal. I put sensors around the door that will catch the potion if anyone attempts to sneak it out and, trust me, the consequences will be fierce.

"And I also have invitations to my annual Christmas party this year for the select few on the guest list," Slughorn said, pulling a stack of invitations seemingly out of a roll of fat and clearing his throat importantly. "When I call your name, please walk up here and receive your invitation. Aubrey, Crispin, Evans, Garbunkal, Jody, Smith, Snape, and Wright."

Sirius and James exchanged confused glances. "Professor!" James said, raising his hand high in the air and bouncing a little in his seat. "I believe you forgot to give _me_ an invitation."

Once again, Lily rolled her eyes while Slughorn blinked slowly. "Well, Mr. Potter, I don't believe I meant to give you an invitation. But each invitee is allowed one guest, so I suppose you can banter some other poor soul to take you, if you wish to go so badly."

Tutting, James said resentfully, "But the Potter's are a very old and very wealthy family! We have done many great things! My great-great grandfather, Sir Ellis Potter, was the owner and creator of the Holyhead Harpies! My distant cousin supplied the main funding for Zonko's Joke shop! I believe I deserve a _personal _invitation."

Smiling kindly and patiently, Slughorn replied, "My boy, I am well aware of your family history, as you have relayed it to me, in depth, so many times, and I am duly impressed. Yet young Miss Evans has given me more than enough reasons to not hand you a direct invitation – she is such a smart girl."

Lily turned around, flicking her auburn hair and giving James an evil grin. "Why does she insist on ruining my life?" Potter muttered to his friends. "I just want to go to woo her."

"Maybe you should go back to the 1800's when that phrase was last used," Sirius said sarcastically, rapping his temple smartly. A moment later, he cringed in pain, realizing for the first time in a while that his hand was pretty badly burnt. "Professor, can you fix my hand?" Sirius asked, holding up his still slightly smoking palm.

Trotting over there hurriedly, Slughorn said, "Of course, my boy. You should've said something earlier."

While Slughorn was repairing Sirius' hand, James began to bottle up his and Sirius' potions for a grade. But Slughorn stopped him by saying, "There will be no need to bottle those, Mr. Potter. I have already given you zeros – Ashwinder eggs are an extremely vital ingredient."

The bell rang and, as usual, Lily was the first out of the classroom with her two friends jogging fast behind her in order to keep up. Lily had begun this routine near the end of first year after she realized James would not stop following her around. Leaving the classroom early meant escaping James' mockery.

"This is complete bullocks," James said angrily as himself, Remus, Sirius, and Peter made their way to Charms. "My family history is impeccable. I need an invitation to that party! Lily will for sure fall for me there – the mood will be unattainable anywhere else." He thought for a second about his situation, then added, "Maybe I'll have father write to him, I'm sure he will have _some_ influence over that fat old codger."

Sirius snorted. "I don't dare bring up my family history, that would just dig me deeper. But you would think I would be given _some_ credibility because I'm _not_ evil." He pronounced each word dramatically.

Sighing, Remus said with a voice full of rationale, "The only reason you want to be invited is because you want a new opportunity to meet girls," he said to Sirius, who shrugged and nodded in agreement, "and you think that this new scheme will cause Lily to fall madly and deeply in love with you," he directed towards James.

James let out an indignant breath and glared and Remus. "Whatever, Moony, I think you're upset you aren't invited also."

Remus shook his head. "No, I really could care less, I hate parties anyhow."

All of a sudden there was a flashing gold invitation in James' face with sprawling green and red writing. "It truly is a _shame_ that you aren't invited, Potter," a cold voice said behind him.

Wands were out in seconds as both Sirius and James spun to face the voice they knew had to belong to a Slytherin. And they were correct – Bertram Aubrey was standing there, his left hand on his hip while the right now twirled the invitation between his fingers mockingly.

"Yeah, actually, it is a _shame_," James said, repeating the tone Aubrey used. "The party will be quite dull without me there."

Aubrey made a slight humming sound. "Well, you haven't been to any of them and I've always had a _marvelous _time attending."

"What do you want, Aubrey?" Sirius asked, cutting to the chase. "Are you still upset about losing the match by _five hundred_ points?"

Eyes flashing dangerously, Aubrey put the invitation in his pocket and exchanged it for a wand. Aubrey was Seeker for the Slytherin Quidditch team and completely rotten. "Say that again," he drawled slowly, pronouncing each word with dangerous intensity.

But James and Sirius weren't intimidated in the slightest. They rarely were. In fact, James came up to him (wand still at the ready) and patted his shoulder in what would've been a comforting way, if Slytherins and Gryffindors got along. "It's okay that you're thick when it comes to Quidditch, some people just need to practice _a lot_ to get to the level we're at."

Growling, Aubrey raised his wand and opened his mouth, ready to yell an incantation. But, at the same time, James and Sirius both yelled, "_Engorgio!_"

Instantly, Aubrey's head began growing rapidly. Aubrey dropped his wand and felt around his face, eyes widening in shock. "Potter! Black! What the hell do you think you are doing?" yelled a voice behind them. Both James and Sirius shared a worried look – they knew that voice all too well. Slowly, they turned around to face one of the few people in the world that _could_ intimidate them.

"Hey Evans!" Sirius and James said together, only James ran a hand coolly through his hair.

Lily glared at them, then focused her attention on Aubrey, who glowered at her. Slytherins had a reputation to uphold, after all. "Let me guess, the Enlargement Charm to his head? Oh, and I bet my life he wasn't doing anything to you. Probably just an innocent victim, right Potter?"

"Yeah right!" James said, pointing back towards Aubrey. "First he was provoking me and then he tried to jinx me, but I beat him to it. _I _was the innocent victim. Right Sirius?"

At first Sirius rolled his eyes, but James elbowed him hard in the ribs and Sirius rasped, "Yes, yes that's right. Innocent, I say!" Sirius held his right fist in the air victoriously while his left rubbed the area where James had elbowed him.

Copying Sirius, Lily rolled her eyes. "Right, right." She produced the counter charm to return Aubrey's head to its normal size. "Since I am a prefect, twenty points from each of you." She said it casually and turned to walk away, but James grabbed her hand.

"Now, now, Lillian, dear." Lily cringed at the horrible name. "Perhaps you and I can discuss this disturbance over dinner and a night on the town. Maybe you can even join me in my _quarters _afterwards."

Sirius whistled low under his breath and logged the use of James' "quarters" to make fun of him later. Lily's eyes narrowed to the dangerous point. "Double detention with Filch for both of you tonight," she nearly bellowed.

"What? I didn't try and get in your knickers, Evans!" Sirius yelled resentfully, but Lily already stormed off. "Not that I wouldn't mind trying, quite a nice arse on that one – OW!" Sirius yelped, rubbing the spot on his bicep where James punched him.

* * *

"Double detention…" Filch read off a piece of parchment that Lily had written their sentence on. "Well, I won't be putting you together that's for sure. I know how you two work," Filch drawled in a scratchy voice. James and Sirius stood before him indifferently – they had had one too many detentions with Filch to be scared of him anymore, it was just a pain to accomplish all the tasks he assigned them to.

"Ms. Evans did make a note that Potter was supposed to get a harsher chore," Filch said with a sneer. Lily was the _only_ student in Hogwarts Filch didn't despise. "In that case…Black, you stay here and buff every trophy _without_ magic, then dust the cabinets and clean the glass cases, also without magic."

Secretly, Sirius cheered. That was the best detention option available to James and Sirius; for they had done it so many times they could probably set a world record by how fast they clean the room. Sirius fought the urge to laugh when he saw James' shoulder slump – his best friend was in for it.

"As for you, Potter," Filch said nastily, "I believe an appropriate punishment for you is to clean all the bathrooms in the castle and then the hospital wing, all without magic." Filch clarified carefully. He had learned from experience that Black and Potter will find any loophole possible to get out of doing something. "Follow me to the broom closet for your supplies. Black, I will be back in one hour to check on you, so no monkey business."

A moment later, James had disappeared off to some corridor and Sirius stood in the middle of the trophy room, hands on his hips as he surveyed his task. _Might as well get started while waiting for James,_ Sirius thought to himself and began with the cabinet farthest left, timing in his head how long it will take for Filch to leave James alone.

Sirius had cleaned a whole cabinet in the seven minutes it took for his pocket to warm up against his leg. Sirius put down the polish and the rag and pulled a mirror out of his pocket. Instead of his own face reflected in the glass, Sirius saw James with an expression similar of a man walking the plank – inevitable doom. "So, Jamsie-poo, how was the _broom closet_ with Filch?" Sirius said with a smirk.

Glaring, James said, "Don't start with me and don't call me Jamsie-poo. He made me start with Moaning Myrtle's bathroom! I have to do the girl's bathrooms also…I've _never _had to do the girl's bathrooms! All this for cursing a Slytherin git who, if I hadn't retaliated, would've blown me to pieces."

"Aren't you being a little over dramatic?"

"No, I'm not. This is perfect logic."

"Sure it is."

"I can't believe Evans did this to me! She put on the note to punish me more. _On the note_ and Filch listened!"

"Maybe it's her way of showing her undying love for you."

"Didn't I tell you not to start with me?"

"Oh I'm sorry…are you menstruating?"

James made a grotesque face. "Sick man! No! Ew!"

Sirius shrugged. "Just making sure."

"How I am supposed to win her over when she hates me?" James said, resuming his rant.

"Cheer up, mate, maybe she'll ask you out. I think she owes you after all the times you've hit her over the head with requests."

Even though Sirius had been completely sarcastic, a light lit up in James' eyes and Sirius internally groaned. Now he knew he started something. "Ask me...yeah, maybe she will!"

"James – "

"I can be the perfect guy and she will see how wonderful I am and won't be able to resist the opportunity to take me!"

"James – "

"I can bring her flowers every day and woo her with Shakespeare and not prank anybody and not look at any other girls and – "

"JAMES!" Sirius yelled and James quieted, but shushed him. Sirius voice returned to its normal octave. "You've tried this a hundred times before and it has never worked. You can't stop being who you are for a girl…you have your pick of anyone at Hogwarts and you chose to be difficult and go out with the only one who isn't remotely interested." Silence. "And never say 'woo' again, this is 1976, not 1883."

Rolling his eyes, James protested, "But don't you think there may be a _slim_ chance it would work, if I followed through on everything I said I would do?"

"Hell would freeze over before Lily Evans asked James Potter out," Sirius said simply, then looked at his watch. "You're going to be here all night if you don't get started."

Nodding, James replied, "Yeah, you're right. See you tomorrow then."

"Bye." The mirror went black and Sirius put it carefully back in his pocket. He continued his cleaning of the trophy room, all the while thinking his best friend was the craziest guy in the world.

* * *

James was absolutely exhausted. He looked at his watch for what felt like the billionth time and saw that it was nearly six in the morning. "Six in the bloody, bullocking morning," James said, scrubbing furiously at the sink in the last bathroom on the top floor.

There were footsteps behind him and James didn't even have to turn around – he knew who they belonged to. Filch had been coming in randomly throughout the night to see how he was doing. He would examine various parts of the bathroom, grin evilly, point to a corner of the bathroom, and say leeringly, "_You missed a spot, right there._" Once he had made him redo a whole bathroom.

The only satisfaction James got out of this was that Filch had been up most of the night also, checking up on him. But that rewarding feeling was quickly disappearing with each passing second into the night. "Tired Potter?" Filch asked and James could hear the sneer in his voice.

Although it took everything for James not to yell "PISS OFF!", he took a deep breath in and said, "Yes, sir."

A little content hum escaped Filch and he said, "Well, let's see how you are doing then, and I'll consider if your detention is over."

James stopped scrubbing his last sink and stood up, flexing and rolling his shoulders in pain. Footsteps echoed around him as Filch inspected his slave labor. "Unfortentently, Mr. Potter," Filch began and gave a long pause for emphasis. James' heart sank, he wasn't done yet, he would probably have to redo this whole bathroom also. "This is where you and I part ways. You are dismissed."

Shoulders slumping, James walked out of the bathroom without ever looking at Filch. He slowly made his way back to the common room, massaging various sore spots and wishing with all his heart for Filch to drop dead.

"Fairy lights," James grumbled and the Fat Lady smiled warmly at him in Christmas spirit as she sprung open. He walked in, fully recognizing he would skip today's classes and just sleep.

But before he took even three steps into the common room, there was laughing to his right and James looked up, eyes narrowing slightly yet his heart still managing to flutter in spite of his anger. Lily Evans stood on the girl's dormitory stairs, close to the bottom. "Well, well, well, Potter, looks like someone had a long night. Shagging too many ladies wear you out? Or is that what you'll tell your friends?" she said, still laughing cruelly.

James rolled his eyes. "I'm not Sirius and you know perfectly well what I was doing all night. What are you doing up this early?"

Still giggling, Lily replied, "Going to breakfast a little earlier today, I have to help a third year with their Charms before classes start." Lily leaned against the wall, flung her hair to her left shoulder, and smiled somewhat wickedly to him. James loved it. "So tell me, what was the punishment that made you work all night long?"

Lovesickness disappeared and anger returned, even though it _was_ Lily. "Thanks to you, I had to clean every bathroom, girls and boys, without magic. Filch was up all night with me, scrutinizing every little detail." Lily began laughing again, only it wasn't so raucous as before. "You can stuff it, no thanks to you and your little harsher punishment note."

"I just meant I didn't want you to do something easy, but I can't believe he went that harsh on you," Lily said, a little of the laughter disappearing from her eyes.

Snorting, James said, "Well, congratulations, I didn't do something easy at all. He would have hung me in the dungeons if it was allowed."

"I didn't think he would take that side note _that _seriously," Lily protested, but James cut her off swiftly.

"Everybody loves you, Lily, even Filch. They would do whatever you told them to," James said quietly, his eyes fiercely meeting with hers.

Lily was taken aback, she was not used to James being mad at _her_. "Honestly, I didn't want it like that."

Shrugging, James said, "Well, to make it up to me, you could always take me as your guest to Slughorn's ball thing."

Anger boiled inside of Lily as she snapped, "I can't believe you. First you insult me and I actually feel sorry for you and then you try to ask me out _again_!"

Confused, James asked, "Wait, wait…when did I insult you?"

Lily ignored his confusion. "Piss off, James, I give up with you." And with that, Lily stormed past James out of the common room.

"Whoa, mate, what did you do now?" Sirius asked as he came down the stairs, grinning at him. His expression immediately changed. "Wait, did you just get back?"

"Way to go, Sherlock," James said irritably, crossing his arms and huffing as he looked at the common room door where Lily had just disappeared.

Another set of footsteps came down the stairs. "James, you look like hell, what happened?" Remus asked, standing next to Sirius.

"I'll tell you what happened," James began his ramble angrily. "Filch had me cleaning bathrooms _all night long_! I actually had to completely redo one and I was never just allowed to move on to the next one, there was always some little thing I missed. And then Lily gets mad at ME when SHE was the one who caused that hell for me in the first place!"

Both Sirius' and Remus' mouths dropped. "I can't believe that, it can't be allowed," Remus said doubtfully.

"You know what we're going to do?" Sirius said, rubbing his hands together maliciously. James' eyes lit up and Remus cringed…a prank was forming. "We are going to retaliate. I have a great revenge planned already."

_It's worth a shot_, Remus thought to himself. "Guys," he interjected wearily, "it might not be the smartest idea to prank Filch. If we get a detention with him, it will be worse than cleaning bathrooms all night, it will be torture for sure, no matter what Dumbledore says. And James would get in a hell of a lot of trouble for purposely getting even a teacher."

"Aw, come on, Moony, where's your sense of fun?" Sirius asked.

"Very in tune with my sense of danger, thank you very much. Where's your sense of self control?" Remus asked.

Sirius opened his mouth to retort and James stepped in between the two to stop an oncoming fight. "Sirius, just tell me the idea. I'm skiving off class today to sleep, but I'll probably be up before you're done and I can work on it."

"That's what I like to hear!" Sirius said, patting James on the back. "Okay, here's the idea…"

* * *

"You know, I'm very proud of ourselves," Sirius said, taking a huge bite out his sausage. "'t 'nly pook un dfay twah pwan," Sirius said, bits of sausage spraying James and Remus in the face while Peter snickered.

Remus began swiping at the mess. "I'm sorry, I couldn't catch any of that, I was distracted by the half chewed food rolling around and out of your mouth."

Glaring, Sirius swallowed and repeated, "I said, it only took one day to plan."

"And it's commencing in a few seconds, so act casual like we know nothing," James said, although this tactic was as old as the hills and any professor could see through it.

A few moments later, there was a scream of anger from outside the Great Hall and everyone looked towards the doors curiously. Filch came running through, waving his hands above his head and wobbling up towards the staff table, screaming like a little girl for help. Right behind him, six toilets were ambling after him, their lids acting like mouths with razor sharp teeth that were snapping and growling at Filch. Above them were three flying sinks whose taps turned on and off randomly, dumping water to any unsuspecting person below them.

Students immediately took cover under the tables while Filch scrambled up to Dumbledore, scared for his life. Filch grabbed the front of the great wizard's robes while Dumbledore tried to calmly console him, raising his wand over Filch's shoulder. In a second, the toilets and sinks were gone and all that was left were great water patches and soggy food.

Filch continued to scream incoherently and Dumbledore escorted him out the doors. McGonagall wearily put her head in her left hand and used her right to curl her finger towards the Marauders, indicating for them to join her at the staff table. "I told you," was all Remus said and they made their way up there.

"Did you do it?" McGonagall asked without looking up.

James opened his mouth to speak, but Sirius beat him to it. "Actually, Professor, this was all me."

McGonagall barely peaked at him. "Only you? In the past six years, it is _never_ been just one of you to commit a practical joke."

Next Remus cut in. "And it was me, also, Professor." He turned to Sirius. "I told you I didn't want you taking all the blame."

Nodding, McGonagall said, "That's more believable, but Mr. Potter…you had no part in this?"

Sirius shot him a look that plainly said "don't get yourself in more trouble" and James, although it pained him to do it, shook his head. "No…actually I'm a little put out I wasn't apart of this one."

"And Pettigrew?"

Gulping, Pettigrew's eyes darted around fearfully while he shook his head. McGonagall nodded. "Alright, Potter and Pettigrew, you are dismissed. Lupin and Black, stay with me."

Peter and James went back to the table and, once they were seated, James said, "Man, I owe them one."

"You would've gotten in a lot more trouble, they would've thought it was retaliation for Filch's detention," Peter said in a squeaky voice.

"It _was_ retaliation, that's the whole thing…" James trailed off and shook his head. "Me and you will take the blame for the next few, alright?"

Peter nodded and a moment later, Sirius and Remus plopped down beside them.

James looked over at his two friends sour faces. "What's the punishment?" he asked.

Sighing, Sirius said, "A month for me, Remus got two weeks…I told her it was my idea and I dragged Remus into it."

Nodding, James said, "I was just telling Peter I owe you both one."

Sirius grinned. "I know how you can make it up to us…I want to see Lily ask you to dance."

Remus interjected with a snort. "Half of my detentions are with Filch, I rather see some other form of flattery."

But James was already standing beside Lily, talking to her solemnly. "Apologizing," Sirius called at once and Remus nodded in agreement. "I wonder what for, though."

"There's a lot of things he could apologize for," Remus said. "It's just a matter of which was most recent."

Peter laughed. "Look – puppy dog eyes, they won't work on her."

Lily swiftly turned back to her somewhat damp meal and Sirius whistled. "Literal cold shoulder, nice touch," he said under his breath.

James got on his knees and was saying something. "Yikes," Remus commented. "He's getting desperate, not good."

"I don't think she'll ever ask him, but it would be quite funny if she did," Sirius said, then "ooo-ed" a second later – Lily had slapped James across his cheek. "Sexual pass, I'll bet anything…I've told him so many times those don't work with her."

"Then quit giving him sexual passes to use," Remus said.

* * *

All Lily saw in her line of vision was deep blue and gold. Pollen filled her nostrils and she began gagging slightly. "James – I can't breath!" she said and, a second later, her normal view of the corridor leading to Transfiguration reappeared, only this time James was there, holding the bouquet of lilies that had been shoved in her face a moment earlier.

"Sorry they were so close your face," James began, batting his eyelashes while the 6th year Gryffindors watched amusingly. "I saw them outside amidst the snow and just had to show them what true beauty was."

Sirius, Remus, and Peter appeared behind James and "awed" appropriately. Lily rolled her eyes. "James, lilies of that color don't exist, which means you charmed them, and flowers don't grow in the middle of winter, which means you conjured them."

Not missing a beat, James said, "Well then, don't you appreciate the effort I put into making them?"

"Sure," Lily said, uninterested, and tried to pass him in order to go to Transfiguration. But he blocked her effectively; after all, he was a Quidditch star. "Is there something you want to ask me?" he asked, holding out the flowers for her to take.

Lily obliged, taking the flowers out of his hand and smiling sweetly at James. "Yes, actually." James' face lit up. "Is your mirror missing in your dorm or did you mean to look like this today?"

Behind James, Sirius let out a bark like laugh. "That was _harsh_, Evans," he said, laughing some more. James turned to insult him and Lily saw her opportunity to rush around James and into class.

Lily sat at one of the desks, Rita and Aurelia plopping down next to her, grinning. "That was brilliant," Rita said approvingly.

Smiling, Lily replied, "You thought that was good? Watch this." She turned her head towards the door of the room and when James walked in, Lily threw the bouquet of flowers into the air and shot an arrow of fire from her wand. The fire hit the flowers and they went up in a plume of red and orange.

James' mouth fell open and Rita and Aurelia laughed. "Wow, Lily, that must've hurt," Aurelia said. "I can't believe he's still trying to win you over."

"Why does he want to go to that stupid dance so badly, anyhow?" Rita asked, scowling as she said it. "I would give anything to not be required to go."

"Beats me," Lily said and immediately quieted as McGonagall came in the room.

* * *

For the first time in a long time, Lily was having trouble with her potion. Sure, it might be good enough for a passing grade, but, for Lily's standard, it was not good enough. She read her book once more for the result: _The potion should be the color of a lemon with the steam spilling over the sides of the cauldron._

Looking up, Lily saw the potion was the color of a very light lemon, but the steam was not spilling over the sides of the cauldron. Instead, it had spelled out something in the air that made Lily's eyes narrow to the dangerous point. _Beautiful Lily, take me along for the most enthralling night of your life…_the steam read in overly loopy cursive.

"My, my," chuckled Slughorn as he came to Lily's potion. "Mr. Potter truly _has_ been bantering you about the party. What is your answer, dear?"

The whole class had turned its attention to Lily and she glared at James, who sat smiling pompously as his own potion was a bubbling brown above his cauldron. Turning slightly red from the attention, Lily said simply. "No, Potter, and if you ask me again I will make it so you can _never_ bear children."

James' eyes widened in fear and Slughorn chuckled again. "Ms. Evans, I do believe your bark is worse than your bite. As for your potion," Slughorn waved the cursive steam out of the way and leaned over the cauldron. "Not up to your usual standard, but the steam spell may have had an effect on it. It will most likely receive an E, not bad at all."

E. Lily's shoulders slumped. It was her first E in Potions. The only class she received E's in was Transfiguration – her worst subject. Sure she had gotten a few in Arithmancy and Ancient Runes, but those were advanced classes. But an E in Potions…she glared once more at James, who was bottling his potion.

In a small fit of rage, Lily waited until James began walking to Slughorn's desk for his potion grading when she inconspicuously pulled out her wand and muttered a spell. Instantly, James tripped over seemingly nothing and his potion flew out of his hands. Lily waited a split second to late, then shouted, "_Accio!_" The bottle smashed just as the last syllable came out of Lily's mouth.

"Damnit!" James muttered, then looked over at Lily, glaring a little.

"Oh no," Lily said in a very fake concerned tone. Slughorn came up to help James off the ground. "I tried to get the potion Professor, but it smashed before I could Summon it."

Slughorn tsked. "At least you tried, my girl. Such a shame, Mr. Potter, do you have any potion left in your cauldron?"

Nodding, James turned to back to his desk and saw Sirius' frowning face. "Sorry, mate, I thought you were done so I cleared our potions." Lily hid a smile.

"Oh dear, I'm sorry, Mr. Potter, but I'll have to give you a zero," Slughorn said sympathetically, patting him on the shoulder.

James focused on Lily, who gave him an over sympathetic face. James just glared and made his way back to his seat, talking angrily with Sirius. Lily turned back to Aurelia and Rita, who were sharing a table behind her. "Shows him, but I can't believe he is still trying to ask me. It's the seventh attempt today and it's not even noon yet."

Rita nodded in agreement. "Your threats are lethal. In my expertise of turning down guys, he should've given up by now."

Lily buried her face in her hands. "Then why is he still addicted to me?" A thought occurred to her and she looked up at Aurelia. "Maybe I could bring you as my guest!"

Aurelia held her hands up defensively. "Oh no, there's no way I'm going."

Slumping, Lily said hopelessly, "Then I have no choice, I can't stand this anymore. I'll have to take him and just avoid him all night."

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Rita asked, slapping Lily lightly on the shoulder. "The party is in three days, you can hold him off for that long. And there's no way I'm letting you take him, because you're the only one I like that's going and I'm not spending the whole night either separated from you with James hounding me or hiding under a table with you."

"Plus," Aurelia added, "he might just stay away with that last comment. And I think he's pretty upset with you because you smashed his potion."

Lily glared once again; only this time she aimed it at Aurelia. "He was the cause of my first E in Potions – "

"Which is a perfectly acceptable grade – " Rita said in an undertone.

" – and his potion was already ruined. I'm only doing these awful things to him in hopes he'll leave me alone."

Aurelia and Rita laughed and said together, "Fat chance." Lily groaned.

* * *

"Let's get this over with," Rita grumbled, reluctantly fastening earrings into her ears.

Aurelia sat on her bed in pajamas, reading _Witch Weekly._ "Have fun guys!" she said cheerfully, then laughed somewhat evilly. "I'll just be sitting her in pajamas, relaxing and listening to music."

"Yeah, yeah," Lily said, glowering at Aurelia while pushing Rita out of the door and down the dormitory stairs. "Cheeky little – " Lily was about to say, but was interrupted by someone dressed in flowing and expensive black dress robes at the bottom of the stairs.

"Hello Lillian, dear," James said, bowing extravagantly and offering his arm. "Shall we be on our way?"

Lily blinked slowly for a few moments, then asked confusedly, "Haven't I told you no enough times? Haven't I tortured and humiliated you enough?"

James shook his head and flashed another grin. "You would probably have to kill me in order to get me to stop loving you."

"That can be arranged," Lily said briskly, pushing past him. "Now, if you'll excuse us."

Just as James was about to go into the danger zone, Remus came up behind him and pulled James away from Lily. "Leave her alone, James," Remus said, then called. "Bye Lily and Rita, have a good time."

"Thank you, Remus," they both chimed gratefully and made their way out of the portrait hole.

James yanked his arm away from Remus'. "What the hell did you do that for?"

Remus rolled his eyes. "I'm coming over to your house near the end of break, right?"

"Not if you keep acting like this," James said stubbornly.

"Well, I'll talk to you about it then. Just promise me one thing…"

Stubbornly, James spat, "What?"

"Stay out of Lily's hair until the end of Christmas break, alright?" James opened his mouth to protest, but Remus cut him off. "Just promise."

Growling under his breath, James said, "Whatever," and went upstairs to change.

* * *

**Author Notes:** Sorry for not updating again, I have three writing classes at school and I'm a wee bit burned out. A few things...

If anyone has any ideas for this story's seventh year (which I only have one idea for) please tell me, or this story will end before Lily and James actually get together. I will be sure to include your name at the top of the chapter to show you came up with the idea. I really just need filler things, but if anyone has an idea of how Lily and James should get together, please tell me because my idea is so cheesy I blush when I think about it haha.

I also have some really great songs that would go well in this story, but I'm afraid to put the lyrics in because my story might get removed again. But these songs fit perfectly...so I'm thinking about posting this story twice - one with lyrics and one without, but then I'm afraid there's some dumb rule about plagiarism even though it's posted on the same account. I'm also thinking about changing the title of this story from Here With Me to I'll See It Through (both based off of songs haha, don't you see how music dictates my life?) I need help!

Also, for my Creative Writing II class I had to write a five-chapter short story. I posted it on ff net's sister site called fictionpress and I was hoping some of you could go there and read the story called "Lost". I don't like my idea or what I've written so far and I would appreciate all the critique I can get. The URL to my profile is http colon slash slash www dot fictionpress dot com slash ljs4everandalways. There are a couple other poems and stories that I had to submit…just read the things from 2007, don't go to anything before that because it's all REALLY bad writing.

And I'll be 17 in six days! D

R/R!


	4. Hey, is that Firewhisky?

Summary: He thought she hated him. She thought she was just bragging rights. He kept missing his chances. She was running away scared. A story of love that follows Lily and James from 6th year until graduation. R/R!

Disclaimer: So no one sues me, I'm not JKR, I could never compare to JKR and you all know that. She is the almighty goddess of all things Harry Potter/magic. Her riches are not mine. Enjoy!

* * *

Christmas Break… 

Lily grit her teeth, trying her best not to rise to it. She wouldn't sink to Petunia's level, however vicious her insults may be. Every time Petunia threw one her way, Lily's insides curled and she felt as if she were seven years old again. Only Petunia had the power to do that and Lily hated it. She had to be strong in front of everyone else she knew to make up for her useless feeling, or everyone would find out how she really is.

"Petunia, dear," said Rob, Lily's father, wearily. "You know what we've told you about treating your sister nicely."

Brutally, Petunia spat, "I have no sister."

Jennifer, Lily's mother, slammed her hand on the table. "Petunia! You will not talk like that in my household." Right after, Jennifer collapsed into fitful coughs, eyes watering.

Rushing to her side, Lily asked, "Mum, are you all right?"

"That's right, Lily, suck up," Petunia said, throwing down her napkin from lunch. "You don't need to, they've always liked you better anyways. I should've just stayed at college over break."

"Petunia! Get back here!" Rob yelled, but Petunia had already slammed the front door. The next sound they heard was Petunia's much whined for Ferrari start up and the tires squealing as it drove away.

Tears welled up in Lily's eyes but she shook them away and patted her mother's back soothingly – Jennifer was still coughing. "What's wrong with her, dad?" Lily asked.

Rob shook his head. "Nothing, Lily, she must have a cold of some sort. I would try to stay away from her over break if this keeps up." Rob went over to his wife and helped her up. "Lily, get her a glass of water, I'm going to put her to bed." The coughing continued all the way up stairs and Lily filled a glass quickly with water and ice.

A few moments later, Lily had given her mother the water and her coughing reduced some. Rob led her out of the bedroom and closed the door behind them, sighing and rubbing his eyes. "Dad," Lily began timidly, "do you think mum might've picked up some illness from one of her patients?" Lily's mother worked at a hospice – a place where terminally ill patients go to die. Some of them had contagious symptoms and, although it was an excessively sanitary environment, it was possible for a nurse to catch a virus accidentally.

Shaking his head, Rob said, "No, I don't think so. Last I heard she was working with breast cancer patients and that's not contagious."

"But is it a possibility?" Lily pushed.

Rob sighed again and looked at his watch. "I need to get ready to go the restaurant."

Lily nodded. "Will you be working on Christmas Eve?"

Patting her shoulder, Rob said solemnly, "You know I will, I have been every year." Rob was the owner of one of the best restaurants in town. It served authentic Italian food and guests had to wait at least three months to get in, depending on the season. Around Christmas, it was more like six and it got so busy that sometimes her own father had to go back and help the chefs prepare food. "Take care of mum and if Petunia comes back, tell her she's grounded."

Snorting, Lily said, "Sure, like that will happen."

"Ignore her, Lily, that's what we've always told you."

Nodding once again, Lily ushered her father into his room to change and went to her bedroom, closing the door softly and lying down on her bed. She flipped the muggle radio on and listened to a song she didn't know while staring at the ceiling. Lily had to catch up on muggle music from the past four months.

"And now a favorite of the year, Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen!" announced the overly excited DJ and Lily turned it up to listen – Queen was one of her favorite bands and she had not heard this song yet.

Lily listened to the radio for an hour, jotting down the names of songs that appealed to her. She had been dancing around to Afternoon Delight when she heard Petunia's expensive car pull up in the driveway. Lily looked out the window and saw about three large shopping bags in the small backseat.

"Thanks for the help," Petunia snapped as she walked past Lily's room, carrying the bags a moment later.

Gulping, Lily called out, "Dad says you're grounded, I was supposed to tell you."

Petunia stepped backwards into her doorway. "He can't tell me what to do, I don't live here. It doesn't matter anyway – I was just getting my stuff so I can stay at Vernon's for the rest of break."

Lily raised her eyebrows questionably. "Vernon?"

With a smirk, Petunia said, "Yes, Vernon, my _boyfriend_. You probably don't know what that is, I doubt there is anybody at your freak school who likes you anyhow."

Furiously, Lily thought of James' obsession and almost brought it up, but it just made herself that much angrier for thinking of James while away from school. "Just shut up and leave me alone," Lily said, turning her radio back up.

"I'm surprised you can stand up for yourself, you're such a pathetic weakling."

Lily scrunched her eyes shut. "No – I'm – Not…" Lily said slowly.

"Whatever, weirdo, I'm leaving and you can leave that message with precious mummy and daddy," Petunia said, exiting the room, which was a good thing because Lily was just about to lose it and she could not get another warning for Improper Use of Magic from the Ministry – she would be expelled. Lily knew Petunia's name-calling was immature and petty, but it hurt her all the same.

"At least she'll be gone the rest of break," Lily said to herself and went to check on her mum, turning her thoughts on worries about her.

* * *

Shouting filled Remus' ears and he didn't know if he could stand it anymore. He knew that they were happily married before he was bitten and each blamed the other for Remus' condition. Remus also knew his parents _were_ scared of him and wanted that innocent four year old back, the one who was pure and didn't turn into something unspeakable once a month. 

Ever since third year, Remus had gone to James' house during the summer and the day after Christmas. His parents still insisted on Remus staying for Christmas even if he didn't really see them and rarely got presents, but as soon as he could, Remus would escape to James house.

This year Remus knew Christmas would not be celebrated. His mother Leontine, who used to put up the most dazzling decorations, had not even attempted to get out the garland and just resorted to drinking herself into a stupor. Gifts would not be presented because the only time Remus had seen Leontine was to drag her up to bed the day he got home – she had lain passed out on the floor.

As it was Christmas day, his father Forbes was off work; usually it was his escape and he often spent nights there. It was early in the morning and Leontine most likely had a hang over and was probably itching to get her hands on some Firewhisky. Remus had no clue what Forbes was so mad about, probably his mother's drinking and neglect towards Remus, although if the latter was the option, Forbes had no room to talk and was just being a hypocrite to make himself feel better.

Remus was in his room, reading Muggle and Wizarding literature, as he had taken to doing since he was a young boy. Usually over break he never left his room and always made sure to pack non perishable food from Hogwarts to keep in his trunk until he could go down to the kitchen after his parents had gone to sleep. Remus couldn't stand to see the fear on their faces once he walked in.

Currently though, Remus had given up on reading, for the shouts had grown so loud that he could not concentrate. Instead he let his thoughts wander. Remus wondered how Sirius was doing in his own hell and if he was already at James' house. Depending on how bad he was treated each year, Sirius went James' house at some point during break. Last year he had gone straight over and, although James' parents were very hospitable, they didn't believe in conflict and wished for Sirius to spend at least some time at home during Christmas. But he and Sirius always went straight to James' house for the summer and stayed there for the duration.

The yells intensified and Remus cringed. _Focus on something else_, he thought to himself and began wondering how James' wonderful Christmas was going. His parents spoiled him rotten but at least he was happy. Next Remus' mind wandered to Lily – he knew next to nothing about her home life and was wondering how her Christmas was going. He amused himself for a moment with a picture of Lily crying over missing James and writing him love letters. Another picture came up of James reading these letters and jumping around excitedly.

Sadly, James really did love Lily unconditionally, even if he didn't completely realize it yet, and Remus thought that Lily treated him so rotten in order to hide her feelings for him. No other guy could stay devoted to a girl for so long when she had insulted and shot him down every possible way. Indeed, Lily looked worn, as if she was running out of things to tell to James.

Remus heard a slap and a gasp. He didn't worry too much – although Forbes was a hypocrite, he had never raised a hand to Leontine and she was the one usually hitting him. _I might have to go James' a day early, even if I hate to impose…_Remus thought to himself, then shook the thought away. He could handle it; it was only until tomorrow, after all.

* * *

Sirius hated this place. It was dark, malevolent, and full of magic that made Sirius' skin crawl. He knew his parents were big supporters of the Dark Arts and are following a somewhat new evil leader named Voldemort. His family called him the Dark Lord and Regulas had recently joined his following, Death Eaters, they called themselves. Sirius was sure the Ministry was aware of Voldemort, but they weren't doing much to stop him – disappearances and brutal killings of muggles and wizards alike had been connected to Voldemort through the _Daily Prophet_, but no comment from the Ministry. 

Orion and Wallburga, Sirius' parents, were the most evil, wretched people that Sirius had ever come in contact with. Their hatred for his lack of sinful behavior was unequaled – they had cursed Sirius regularly for his "sour attitude" and "unwillingness to follow family traditions". Sirius mind got so dark when he was at home that it made him ill.

There was a Christmas party downstairs and all the evil influential families were dancing, drinking, and chatting. Malfoy's, Lestranges', Crabbe's, Goyle's, Avery's, Carrow's, Gibbon's, Dolohov's, and many more Sirius couldn't name. Orion had required his son down in the party, even though Wallburga insisted he was an embarrassment. "_No son of mine, no matter how regrettable, will be rude to any guests we entertain._"

So now Sirius stood in the farthest corner of the party, wearing dress robes and watching drunken men and woman dance around with narrowed eyes. The lively music did nothing for the dark feel of the house but Sirius was sure the guests didn't mind. He took a powerful swig of the strong, alcoholic beverage he had snagged and grimaced, not from the sting of alcohol but from the life he was imprisoned in.

Soon his mother wandered over, stumbling drunkenly towards him. "Why aren't you dancing?" she slurred, eyes unfocused.

Usually Sirius did not have a loose tongue at home, for dire consequences happen. But Sirius had drunk three of the unknown alcoholic beverages and he was feeling a little free with his words anyway. "Because I don't want to be in this hellhole," he said simply.

Wallburga's eyebrows arched furiously. "Are you insulting my party?"

"That and the people in it," he said disdainfully, emptying the rest of the alcohol in his glass and throwing it to the floor, causing it to break.

Stomping her foot, Wallburga said, "You better stop while you're ahead, boy, or I'll get your father."

"Go ahead, I'm not going to listen to whatever you two say anyway," Sirius replied, stepping on the broken glass, crunching it more and grounding it into the expensive rug.

Orion had appeared at Wallburga's side in a second and he reached around his wife, grabbing Sirius' forearm roughly. "Let go of me," Sirius growled. Orion didn't say a word, but instead dragged him upstairs and away from the party.

Sirius was brought to his room and thrown on the ground. Immediately, Sirius tried to stand, but his father had a wand pointed to his throat. "You'll learn to _never_ disrespect us again," Orion uttered.

For a response, Sirius spat in his father's face. "Is that disrespect?" he asked sarcastically and tried to get up again.

"_Crucio!_"

* * *

Glittering lights made James' living room magical. Christmas was always James' favorite time of year and this year was no different. He was excited to see what he got and excited for his parents to open the gifts he gave them. James dutifully delivered gifts to his parents and made his own pile, all the while humming to Christmas music playing throughout the house. 

James had insisted that his parents open their presents first and he had been right – they loved them. "I can't believe this…signatures of all the players from the Pride of Portee in their Championship year – 1962," Harold, James' father, bolstered excitedly. After all, he was the one who made James a Quidditch fanatic.

"Pearls!" Hallie, James' mother, gushed. "Pearls! Look Harold, I can't believe our son is so intuitive. How did you know I wanted pearls?"

Trying to shrug in an aloof and casual way, but failing, James said. "Well, I just wanted to show my appreciation to you guys…"

Harold and Hallie immediately showered James with compliments and praises, making his already large head inflate more. Next he opened his own gifts and got mostly things he needed, but the best was the latest broom model – a Nimbus 1850. "It's an early release broom, not due out until next year, but they agreed to give me the first one," Harold explained. "It's the best there is, the only one good enough for our son."

Their house elf, Flappie, brought out tea for the family before Harold and Hallie had time to inflate James' head more. Flappie was named so because her ears flapped about wildly and, although she was freed from the family eons ago, Flappie continued to serve the Potters and was very dedicated to the family. "Oh, Flappie," James said, beckoning the little elf over. He pulled another package out from under the tree and handed it to Flappie.

Excitedly with tears in her eyes, Flappie gently tore the paper wrapping off of the gift and squealed. "A new apron!" the house elf exclaimed, immediately ripping off her faded yellow daisy apron and putting on the new blueberry covered one. "Thank you, Master Potter, it tis the best gift that Flappie has ever received!"

"Even better than the sundress?" James asked, mirth in his eyes.

Flappie opened her mouth, then closed it quickly, smoothing out her beloved pink sundress. "No, Mr. Potter, Flappie indeed forgot the dress. But Flappie loves both!" the elf said, it's head bobbling eagerly and its large blue eyes as wide as saucers, as if she was trying to convince James of her enthusiasm for her gifts.

Ah yes, one big happy family, celebrating Christmas without any worries. Even though Harold and Hallie were old for wizarding standards and most everyone the Potter's knew were in ominous situations concerning the rise of a new sorcerer, all that was shielded out of the overtly joyful living room as they sipped their tea and marveled at their presents, chatting casually of this and that.

"Oh my, I almost forgot to ask, how is Sirius?" Hallie asked her son. "Have you heard from him at all?"

James' expression instantly turned worried. "The first day back, Sirius sent me a letter saying this year wouldn't be so bad since Regulas was off doing something or another," James said, slyly leaving out the fact the Regulas has joined the Death Eaters. No matter how much Sirius hated his family, he would never sell any of them out. Sirius was fiercely loyal. "But I haven't heard back from him since – usually he is here by now."

Harold gave a slight "humph" and set down his teacup. "I hope he didn't take our suggestion to spend a little more time at home over Christmas break offensively. We just hoped he and his family might work out their differences – "

"And I've told you a million times," James cut in, "that him and his family are too different to ever get along."

Sighing, Hallie said, "I'm just worried about him, that's all. He's like your brother and our son and we love having him, especially since his own family is so dreadful." She turned to Harold. "Maybe we should go and check up on him, just to see if he's alright, maybe even ta-"

But Hallie was cut off when the fire turned green and Sirius was suddenly standing in the Potter's living room. "Sirius!" they all said together, but as soon as they did so, Sirius fell to floor, crumpled in a ball. James rushed to his best friend and rolled him on his back; taking in the lines on his face and the way his body shook. "Sirius, wake up, tell me what happened!" James shouted, shaking his friend.

Sirius opened his eyes slightly and croaked, "My dad…got mad at me. Used Cruciatus – it seemed so long…"

Hallie's mouth dropped and Harold's face hardened. As he was an Auror, he had been hit many a time with the Cruciatus curse. "I can't believe that! It's against the law, especially on a minor – we have to do something, Harold," Hallie said in broken sentences.

Absently, James corrected, "No, he turned seventeen five days ago…"

"Still," Harold said, Summoning his cloak, "it's a serious offense. I'm going to the Ministry and getting backup to arrest him."

Shaking his head, Sirius groaned slightly and said, "No, there's a party with a bunch of Dark wizards there…"

"The more, the merrier," Harold said wearily. "I might not be home tonight, or tomorrow for that matter."

Hallie shook her head. "Harold, you're retired, you shouldn't be doing this – " But he was gone before she could finish her sentence. "Sirius," she said with a stern voice, "you'll be living with us until you can find your own place and I don't care how long that takes. I'm sure Harold will get all of your things out of your room for you."

Sirius nodded. "Sorry for making him miss Christmas."

"Don't worry about it dear," Hallie said reassuringly, squeezing his shoulder. "Now, let's get you to the sofa. James, I can't seem to find my wand, could you?"

James nodded, still a little in shock that his best friend was just tortured. James had turned seventeen almost a month after school had begun and so he could do magic outside of Hogwarts.

Just as Hallie and James were getting Sirius settled and Hallie had James Summon her wand so she could perform some muscle relaxing spells (Hallie was a retired Healer), the fireplace turned green once more and Remus spun out, landing unsteadily on the carpet with a couple bags in tow. "Sorry, Hallie, but I had to come a day early. I hope you don't mind," Remus said in a rush, then his eyes focused on Sirius' ashen face. "What happened?" he asked, dropping his bags and going to stand next to James.

"Sirius and his dad got in a fight and his dad used the Cruciatus on him," James said gravely.

Remus let out a string of cursing insults. "Remus!" Hallie said, giving him a reproachful look. Remus looked properly abashed. "It's not a problem if you stay here, but I will not tolerate language in my household. You know the rules."

Uttering a small sorry, Remus took his bags upstairs, then retrieved some water for Sirius, who accepted it gratefully. They spent the next hour discussing Remus and Sirius' home lives while Hallie treated Sirius' muscles, going to bed when finished because "I'm getting too old for this and I'm absolutely exhausted. Goodnight, dearies."

Once they had exhausted that topic, James' eyes flashed with sudden remembrance and he turned to Remus. "What did you need to tell me about Lily? You said you would talk about it when you got here."

Sighing, Remus first told Sirius, "Don't interject with your idiotic ideas."

Sirius held his hands up defensively. "Hey, I've just been through a traumatic experience!" he tried to joke, but his eyes darkened slightly and he cringed.

Remus scanned his friend a little longer, then turned back to James. "I've told you this before but I really want you to listen. You are getting nowhere with her and I _know_ you're hopelessly in love with her. But you have to stop asking her out every five seconds. If you just be nice and sincere with her, I know she'll warm up to you eventually."

"Eventually," James said with disgust. "I'm sick of waiting."

An opportunity to convince James lit up in Remus' mind. "I'll make you a bet. It's been five years of you attempting to ask Lily out with many rejections, correct?" James nodded slowly. "I bet that she will fall for you before we graduate using my way rather than your bashing her over the head with will-you-go-out-with-me's."

James thought it over for a moment. "How much?"

"Fifty galleons, I could use the gold," Remus said carelessly, knowing James had risen to it.

"Fine," James replied, holding out his hand. Remus took it. "You've got a deal."

* * *

"I can't believe he's still asleep," Peter said, poking Sirius on the train once more. 

"I can't believe he didn't wake up after the fireworks," James said, looking down at his friend scornfully.

Rolling his eyes, Remus bent down to Sirius and whispered something in his ear. Immediately, Sirius sat up ramrod straight and looked around. "Where? Where?"

Remus began laughing while Peter and James looked confused. "What's where?" Peter asked, scratching his head.

Shaking his head, Remus told Sirius, "False alarm, I suppose. You better get changed."

Sirius glared at him, grabbed his robes out of his trunk that Harold had gotten for him (along with a few other of his belongings), and said simply, "I have to use the bathroom."

Once he was gone, Remus said with mirth still lingering in his eyes, "I told him there was a girl wearing hardly nothing asking for him outside the compartment."

At first James blinked slowly at Remus, then cracked a grin. "That's all we had to do? Wish I would've thought of it before I wasted most of my Filibuster Firework supply."

Sirius arrived back a few moments later and the friends sat chatting casually. Soon the conversation moved to pranks and Sirius was unusually silent as they discussed ideas they had for the second half of their 6th year. Suddenly, Sirius clapped his hands and said, "I've got it! Why don't we lace some sort of light poison in the Slytherin's food and it will make it seem like they're dying, but they are just really sick."

All of his friends stared at Sirius for quite some times, trying to register what he just said. "Sirius…why in the hell would we do that?" James asked incredulously. "Our pranks are not intended to cause fatal physical or emotional harm – just slightly embarrass or highly entertain."

Glaring slightly, Sirius' rebuttal was, "Fine then, how about hanging Mrs. Norris by his tail in the Entrance Hall and setting him on fire?"

"Are you being serious?" James asked.

Trying to grin, but instead ending in a grimace, Sirius said, "I am Sirius."

"Those jokes are something we would never consider and you know that, Sirius," Remus said, frustration seeping in his voice – the full moon was getting close. "I don't know what is your problem, but get it together and stop acting crazy."

Abruptly, Sirius jumped up and grabbed Remus by his shoulders, slamming him up against the wall. Right after James and Peter grabbed each of Sirius' arms and tried pulling him away. "Don't _ever_ call me crazy again," he hissed.

Finally, James and Peter managed to sit him back down. "Snap out of it, Sirius!" James yelled. "Do you realize what you just did to your _friend_ Remus?"

Sirius' eyed sobered from the anger instantly and he looked genuinely apologetic. "S-sorry, mate. I don't know what's gotten into me."

Shrugging, Remus said, "Don't worry about it, you've had a tough break." At first it looked as if Sirius wanted to protest the implied weakness towards him, but he just bowed his shoulders and nodded.

Dinner in the Great Hall was normal as usual, except Sirius was antsy the whole time and kept whispering loudly to James horrid prank ideas he had to play right that second. James continuously shushed him and at one point actually had to hold him down so he wouldn't jump up and try to make all the teacher's robes fly off in hopes for a laugh.

It took all three of the Marauders to get Sirius to the dorm room and keep him there. Bizarre prank ideas continued to issue from his mouth and he jumped around wildly, looking for a victim to test them on. Even Rita had to leave Lily and Aurelia at one point and ask if the Marauders needed any assistance with the spasmodic Sirius.

"I still think making the main staircase into a slide that lead to a pit of alligators was a good idea," Sirius grumbled as he changed into his nightclothes.

Having enough, James slammed his trunk shut and turned on Sirius, who shrunk back a little. "Listen to yourself! Every single thing that's come out of your mouth today has been evil! Burning animals? Poisoning students? A pit of unavoidable alligators? You sound just like the rest of your family!" Sirius' face went from ashamed to furious. "I know you feel unloved and unwanted by them, but you have _us_. You're seventeen; legal, and you have enough of your Uncle Alphard's money to get a flat in London. Don't sink to their level…be the Sirius that we like, not a torturer like the rest of your family has become."

Sirius gave James a hard, blazing look but James stood strong against it, raising his chin defiantly. Remus and Peter watched silently, Peter twittering with excitement. Finally, Sirius began changing out of his pajamas and back into his robes, stooping down to put a couple things in his cloak. "Sirius…" Remus called out sternly as he was about to leave, but Sirius paid no heed and slammed the door behind him.

* * *

"_Ohhhhh take my Galleons, if that's what you wish, but be a doll and don't steal my fish!_" Sirius sang hoarsely, romping around the fourth floor in a dizzy daze, clutching a bottle of Firewhisky in his right hand and his left hand reaching aimlessly towards the ceiling. It was around midnight, at least three hours since Sirius had stormed out of his dorm room. 

An hour earlier, James had left his dorm under his Invisibility cloak with the Marauder's map in hand, searching for Sirius Black on the map. His dorm mates had been very concerned with what a brash and angry Sirius might do. Sirius had always been a bit of a loose cannon, but add anger into the equation and not even Cassandra Trelawney could unfog the future to predict what he would do.

It had taken James a while to find Sirius, for at first he didn't appear on the map. Soon his dot appeared on the map, walking across the lawns in a weaving path. Mrs. Norris held up James for quite a few moments, and by the time he left that sticky situation, Sirius had managed to speedily get up to the fourth floor without making any noise. What he was doing up there, James had no clue, there wasn't much interesting on the fourth floor. But once James had reached the third floor, he could hear very bad and very drunk singing coming from someone whose voice was remarkably similar to Sirius'.

Turning a corner, James saw his best friend, hair a mess, clothes rumpled, eyes bright yet bloodshot and an almost empty bottle of Firewhisky dangling in his fingers by his side. He was tripping over his own feet, walking the same path over and over again. "Sirius," James called.

Sirius looked over his shoulder, eyes widening in shock. James realized that he still had the Invisibility cloak on and immediately peeled it off. Sirius eyes relaxed then turned into pinpoints of anger. "Wha tha hell do ya want?" Sirius slurred, stumbling a little and pointing a shaky finger accusingly at James.

"Look," James said quickly, "I'm sorry for what I said. I was irritated and I didn't mean what came out of my mouth."

Suddenly, Sirius grinned, making his face contrast sharply with the resentment that had previously been placed there. "Tha's oat-kay, buddy! I forgive you, because ya wanna know why?" Sirius placed a heavy hand on James shoulder and looked him seriously in the eye. "Because tha's wha friends do for each other."

Then he burst out laughing as if it was the funniest thing there ever was and James leaned back from his friend – his breath was rank. "God…" he muttered and then immediately grabbed Sirius' forearms to balance him. "Listen, Sirius, we need to get back to the common room before we're caught out of bed," James explained in a voice usually used when talking to a two year old.

Sirius looked confused. "But we're out of bed all tha time." Sirius pointed to the lump of cloth near James' feet. "'n we have tha in-vis-a-billie-bee clock."

James shook his head. "We can't both fit under there anymore and we've never been out of bed with you _drunk_."

Gasping, Sirius replied with dignity, "I am _not_ drunk." He took care pronouncing each word, then contradictorily took a large swig of Firewhisky, his face turning redder even in the semi-darkness.

Rolling his eyes, James began almost literally dragging Sirius back to the dorms. He had to hush him several times for talking too loudly and for singing his very bizarre made-up song. "Hey, hey James!" Sirius shouted and James promptly shushed him. But it only made him louder. "I saw something red over thataway." He pointed to a spot just beyond a corridor.

"It's probably your eyes messing with you, now shut up and walk yourself back to the Common Room."

"No, no James," Sirius said and began tugging roughly on James' sleeve. "I really saw something red, see there it is again!"

Sirius pointed once more and this time James did see a flash of red coming toward them and his stomach dropped out. "Hey, look James! It's Lily! Go on, ask her out, mate!" Sirius slurred and punched James in the arm.

"What in the world is going on?" Lily asked dangerously, her prefect badge gleaming in the moonlight. James was transfixed that her hair could still shine so brightly in the dim light. "What are you two doing out of – hey…is that a Firewhisky?" Her voice turned suddenly enraged as she pointed to the bottle, slack in Sirius' hand.

_Why couldn't Remus have caught us?_ James begged to no one in particular. _He's _never_ patrolling our area when we get in trouble at night._ "Lily, let me explain," James said and heaved Sirius to a standing position – he was starting to slump over.

"Yes, Lillian flooow-er, this is Firewhisky," Sirius said solemnly, holding a hand over his heart. "I am dreadfully sorry thisss unfor-two-nat occ-or-ance, er, occ-or-ed."

Lily's eyes smoldered. "He's drunk!" she hissed to James. "I can't believe you two, this will get you expelled! You're underage!"

James shook his head. "No, Lily, you've got to listen to me." James saw Lily's eyes flashed and his voice immediately turned soft and low as he leaned toward her. "Please, just hear me out, okay?"

At first it looked as if Lily was going to argue, then she nodded reluctantly. "Go on," she replied dubiously.

Quickly, James explained in brief what had happened with Sirius over Christmas break and the scene in the dorm room that made him storm out. "And I found him on the fourth floor like this. I'm just trying to get him back safely…I don't know what he might do in this state," James said, reaching out and grabbing Sirius' arm without taking his eyes off Lily; Sirius had started to wander off.

Lily had a hand over her mouth in shock after the story and she nodded slowly. "Okay, okay I'll let you off this time."

Letting out a relieved breath, James said sincerely, "Thank you."

Sirius looked between the two and smiled widely. "Aww, James I knew ya've loved her to pieces since foreva, but I didn't know she loved ya too!" James and Lily just stared at him, embarrassed, while Sirius continued smiling at the two, rocking back and forth clumsily on his heels. "Anywho…_ Ohhhhh take my Galleons, if that's what you wish, but be a doll_ – "

Before he could get any louder, Lily whipped out her wand and said, "_Silencio!_" Sirius' mouth continued moving and James saw he hadn't realized he had been muted.

"Wish I'd of thought of that earlier," James said with smile, running a hand through his hair nervously. "It's been a pain in the arse trying to get him through the castle quietly."

Lily allowed herself a smile, then said in a business like manner, "We better get a move on, other prefects are patrolling." She grabbed Sirius' right arm and James took the left, guiding a muted yet seemingly singing Sirius through the halls.

"Is Remus patrolling?"

"No, it's not his night, I think he's doing it tomorrow, though."

They continued small talking on the way to the Common Room, a sarcastic insult thrown here and there, as was the Lily and James tradition. But Lily was surprised that he didn't try to ask her out, not once and James was surprised that Lily was actually helping _him_.

Just before getting to the Common Room, Lily vanished Sirius' bottle (he cried out silently in protest) and got him inside the Common Room quickly, steering him away from the few awake student's prying eyes. "Can you help me get him upstairs?" James asked, heaving Sirius into a standing position for the second time that evening. Lily nodded and helped get him up the stairs.

Remus was still awake in the dorm, but Peter had fallen asleep. James backed in first, clutching Sirius' arm. "Ah, good, you found him – " Remus began, but stopped immediately when Lily entered. "Oh, good evening, Lily," he said and hurried over to help with Sirius, who was about to fall over.

They spent a good few minutes in awkward silence as they put Sirius in his bed and worked to keep him there. Lily removed the Muting Charm and Sirius immediately picked up in the middle of his sentence. "…don't want to go to bed, I'm not tired."

"Does anyone know any Sobering Charms?" James asked. "My dad me one once, for safety measures, but I can't remember it."

Nodding, Remus mumbled something and Sirius immediately clutched his head in agony. "What the hell – why'd you do that for?" Sirius spat angrily and then noticed Lily for the first time. "And what is she doing here?"

"Just go to bed, Sirius," Lily started comfortingly, but Sirius interrupted.

"You're not my Goddamn mother," he nearly yelled. "Don't tell me what to do."

Lily looked hurt; she wasn't used to people talking to her like that. "Really, Sirius, just sleep it off and you'll feel better," Remus said.

Sirius laughed bitterly. "Oh that's _rich_. I don't remember your dad torturing you just because you didn't want to _dance_."

Remus knew he was only talking this way because he had a splitting headache that wasn't allowing him to think straight, but the words still bit him. "Maybe not, but my father has ignored me since I was four, so don't act like you're the only one with family problems." And with that, Remus climbed into his four-poster and closed the curtains.

"I should go," Lily whispered to James, her eyes on a stunned Sirius rubbing his head.

Nodding, James took her elbow and said, "I'll walk you down."

To James' great surprise, Lily didn't pull her elbow away as he led her down to the Common Room and butterflies began to appear in his stomach. "I can't believe his family did that too him," Lily said once they had reached the foot of the girl's staircase.

"Yeah, but you've heard how the Black family is," James said and Lily nodded in agreement. "Hey, I'm sorry for what he said in there," James began apologizing but Lily held up her hand.

"No, it's okay, I understand…he was a little out of his head."

Laughing, James replied. "He's always a little out of his head." Lily laughed also and James' heart beat faster. He couldn't believe they were actually having a civilized conversation…and he got to see her genuinely laugh because of something _he_ said rather than watching it from across the room. "Well, thanks for helping and for not getting Sirius expelled."

Shrugging, Lily said, "No problem, I hope he gets better."

James nodded and another awkward silence passed between them. "Well then, goodnight," Lily chirped.

"Goodnight," James said and she ran up the stairs. James watched her go, feeling elated that they had a normal conversation. Maybe Remus was right after all.

Meanwhile, Lily collapsed into bed, thinking that James wasn't _that_ bad in the end.

* * *

**Author Notes:** Wow, I'm very proud of myself! I got this one out so quick! 

This chapter was very hard to write, because I had to establish character background in a setting outside Hogwarts without the goofy or sarcastic personalities I'm used to writing. I also tried to show an extreme contrast when it came to Remus' and Sirius' home lives compared to James' happy, go lucky, spoiled rotten lifestyle. Actually, as I was writing this and the last chapter, I realized how James is very similar to Malfoy; only he does of a heart of gold buried under all that arrogance (sorry to all you Draco lovers out there!) Besides that, I rushed through it in attempt to get it out the same day as the last one, which obviously didn't happen, but at least it was a lot less than a month to update!

See last chapter author notes, I'm still in desperate need of seventh year filler things after Lily and James are going out and a better way for them to finally get together. I know have another idea for them to get together, thanks to JustCallMeDollface, but if anyone has any other ideas, let me know! Even if you think it's cliché or cheesy, tell me because I usually get inspiration from almost anything.

Thanks to those who already sent in ideas, I've typed them in my outline with your name next to them! I owe you a diamond ring, or some other expensive gift of your choice.

And my birthday is in one day!

R/R!


	5. All that was about Lily?

Summary: He thought she hated him. She thought she was just bragging rights. He kept missing his chances. She was running away scared. A story of love that follows Lily and James from 6th year until graduation. R/R!

Disclaimer: So no one sues me, I'm not JKR, I could never compare to JKR and you all know that. She is the almighty goddess of all things Harry Potter/magic. Her riches are not mine. Enjoy!

* * *

Even though the day was bitterly cold, the sun was shining through the grey, snow-filled clouds so it made the below zero temperature seem a bit more kind. Nearly every student was outside, enjoying the two feet of snow that Hogwarts had gotten the previous night. After all, it was Saturday and there was so much time to use putting off homework.

Three particular students were trekking across the snow, making their way across the vast lawn, although one had finished her homework on Friday. Lily, Rita, and Aurelia were going to visit Hagrid; something they had been doing every few weekends since Aurelia first found out he shared her passion for magical creatures in first year.

"I love the snow," Aurelia said happily, spinning around on her tiptoes and making snow dust fly up around her calves.

Lily wrinkled her nose slightly. "It's alright, very pretty, but I'm not to fond of being in it."

"Unless there's a snowball fight," Rita pointed out.

Nodding in agreement, Lily said, "Of course. But I much prefer spring."

Rita opened her mouth to add her opinion, but was interrupted when a seventh year Hufflepuff casually slid up next to her and wrapped an arm around Rita's waist. "You must be cold," the boy said in mock concern and pulled Rita closer.

Wiggling to no avail, Rita said coolly, "No and who are you?"

Grinning widely, the boy said, "Regis McCay. And I know your Rita Garbunkal."

"Congratulations. Now if you'll excuse me," Rita said and once again tried to wiggle away.

Regis tightened his grip on her. "Now, now, don't be in such a hurry to leave me." Lily and Aurelia shared worried glances – first of all, Rita liked to make the first move and second, did not like to be talked down to. "So, what are you doing tomorrow?"

With a glare, Rita spat, "Too busy for you…please excuse me."

Chuckling, Regis leaned his mouth close to Rita's ear and whispered something. Promptly, Rita twisted out of his unsuspecting grip and slapped him hard across the face. "Say that to me or any other witch again and you'll be sorry. Now get out of my sight."

Regis stood there stunned for quite some time, then finally squared his shoulders and hurried away in a would-be dignified way. "Wow," Lily said, "And you say I'm cruel to guys."

"Not guys, just James," Aurelia put in nonchalantly and Lily glared at her.

"Well, you should've heard what he said to me! 'You'll be plenty busy snogging my brains out, along with many other unspeakable acts.'" Rita's voice returned to her normal octave from the overly masculine one she just imitated. "Hufflepuffs are supposed to be friendly."

Aurelia laughed and said, "Technically, Rita, he _was_ being very friendly."

The friends laughed and had a good time teasing Regis without his knowledge. They walked a couple minutes in silence, passing by groups of students frolicking in the snow. "Speaking of snowball fights," Rita said, breaking the silence and pointing over to a group of boys having an extreme snow war.

James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter were having it out, laughing and shouting insults while throwing snowballs, building up damaged forts, and using tricky snow spells to hinder their opponent. James and Peter were on one team while Sirius and Remus were on the other.

Aurelia gave a small involuntary sigh and Lily looked at her, seeing her eyes following Remus steadily. Grinning slyly, Lily said, "Good game over there?"

Jumping, Aurelia said, "N-no, well, yes, I mean – "

"Oh Aurelia, just admit it," Lily said. "You're head over heels in love with Remus."

At first Aurelia opened her mouth in shock at being discovered, although Rita and Lily had suspicions since the end of last year, but recovered by saying quickly, "I'm not in love with him, just I think he's cute, smart, funny, cute…"

"I think you mentioned 'cute' twice," Rita said playfully.

"Yeah, well, it's no secret you fancy Sirius," Aurelia accused.

Rita managed a very short and jerky laugh. "I do not, whatever gave you that idea?"

Sarcastically, Aurelia put a finger to her chin and looked up at the sky. "Hmm, let's see. How about the fact that during Quidditch practice you two are constantly flirting? Or that you stare at him in class? That during pranks you stop watching the prank and watch his reaction instead? That whenever he has a new girl you get very volatile until they break up a week later. Or – "

"I get it, but you're wrong," Rita said.

Lily walked by the two silently, hoping she wouldn't get dragged into this Marauder debate. She knew that Rita and Aurelia liked Sirius and Remus respectively. It was only natural…Rita and Sirius were both extremely mischievous, loved Quidditch, and were extremely ADD-like. Aurelia was shy and reserved around unknown people and Remus was just the same. But they were both brilliant and playful underneath all that. Perfect matches, and where was hers? Certainly not James, they were just as opposite as can be. Not that she would ever even _consider_ going out with him. Although he was very loyal and giving when he absolutely had to be, everything else about him was rotten.

Rita spoke again and Lily broke out of her trance. "I guess we all fell for Marauders."

As much as she didn't want to get dragged into another James discussion, Lily couldn't let that one slide. "Uh, not me, remember?"

Aurelia and Rita shared a quick knowing glance. "Sure," they piped together.

Lily looked at her two friends suspiciously. "Now what's that look for?"

They shared another look. "Nothing," they piped again.

Stopping and putting her hands on her hips, Lily said, "Look, we've already discussed this, I don't fancy James in any way, shape, or form. I rather go out with, with Peter or someone."

Trying not to grin, Rita said seriously, "Well, Lily, if that's how you feel, I'm sure I could arrange something between the two of you. I hear from Sirius that he's getting quite desperate."

Grimacing, Lily replied, "No, no, just kidding. But you and Sirius are getting chummy, eh?"

They continued laughing and joking the remainder of the walk to Hagrid's and Lily managed to keep her friends clear of the James subject. But that didn't mean it stopped entering her mind all through the visit when Aurelia and Hagrid talked excitedly of creatures she'd never heard of.

* * *

February…

To James, it was the best feeling in the world and nothing, _nothing_, could compare to it. Soaring gracefully through the air, pushing the limits of speed with the wind slapping your face, diving, dodging, and, oh yes, scoring so gracefully…_nothing_ compared.

James and his fellow Chasers were making insanely complicated formations with near professional precision. Gina Davies, their 7th year captain, had made the Gryffindor Quidditch team better than they ever had been in the history of Hogwarts. The past two years of her coaching had pushed them to the brink of death, but it was all worth every glorious second.

Currently James was positioning himself so Derek Nehemiah could pass him the Quaffle, then he could spin his broom, and pass it off to Joelle Mackenzie who would then pass it so quickly back to James, their opponents would not have seen it and James was free to score.

"James!" Derek yelled and the Quaffle was in his hands a second later. He spun, threw it to Joelle, and a _milli_second later it was back safely in his hands. He was elated, he knew the Gina had no idea what was coming, the Chasers had stayed after practice one night and worked on it. James dodged a Bludger sent from teammate Rick Harcourt, arched his arm back and threw it perfectly to the left hoop.

But James' elated feeling was immediately replaced with one of disappointment. Gina had been onto their switch and had been watching James the whole time. "If you're going to try to pull the wool over the Keeper's eyes, do it quicker with more confidence than that sorry excuse for a play that you just gave me!" she shouted and raised her pointer finger, rotating it in rapid, clockwise circles, signaling for the Chasers to try it again.

As they positioned themselves to start again, Rita began shooting to the ground in a blur, her hand stretched out in front of her. "BEATERS, ARE YOU GOING TO LET THE OPPOSING SEEKER JUST _HAVE _THE SNITCH!" Gina screeched. "AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING WATCHING CHASERS? YOU CONTINUE PLAY WHILE THE KEEPER AND BEATERS ARE DISTRACTED!"

James had just enough time to see Sirius whack a Bludger towards Rita and the Chasers were off, going faster and quicker than they had the whole practice, craving that goal before Rita caught the Snitch and won the game for the "other" team. James faked just in case Gina was watching and the Quaffle flew perfectly into the middle hoop just as Rita caught the Snitch.

"Ha!" Rita said as she soared up, holding the snitch above her head. "Missed me, Sirius! That was weak – are you afraid to hurt a girl?"

Smiling, Sirius replied, "Oh, I see no girls out here, besides the lovely Joelle Mackenzie."

Rita scoffed indignantly and rocketed towards Sirius, who ducked just in time to avoid a collision. Gina blew her whistle to interrupt the flirting that was the only disturbance during her practice and the team surrounded the golden hoops. "Good practice, although you didn't come in with one hundred percent effort. Make sure you bring that next time," Gina said condescendedly. "Chasers, good play. You fooled me the second time; make sure that doesn't happen again. Beaters, you were missing everything tonight. I want you to stay an extra fifteen minutes and practice hitting. Rita, you did great but I want you to stay behind too so the Beaters can use you as target practice." Rita paled considerably and Sirius and Rick hi-fived each other. "Rest well for the game tomorrow. Chasers dismissed."

James gave Rita a slightly apologetic look before landing on the ground. Derek had run to the locker rooms for something so it was James and Joelle who walked out of the stadium, discussing their play and a way to perfect it so Hufflepuff's Keeper would have no idea what was coming in their next match.

Their Quidditch discussion came to an immediate halt when Joelle spotted her boyfriend, a fifth year, like her, named Koby Dempsey from Ravenclaw. That was all fine with James, because he spotted Lily, watching Rita dive and dodge for her life as Sirius and Rick whacked Bludgers non-stop at her. "I'm amazed you were having a civil conversation with Joelle – she's a very beautiful girl, you haven't pestered _her_ for a date," Lily said as James approached, still watching the sky.

"That's because we're friends, teammates, and she has a boyfriend," James said, leaning on his broom and ruffling his hair.

"So I need to become all these things so you'll stop asking me out?" Lily said, letting out a small "oh!" when a Bludger hit the front of Rita's broom, nearly causing her to fall off.

James looked up after Lily's reaction and smiled. "Don't worry, Rita's a good flier and Sirius and Rick just need to get the Bludgers close enough to her body so Gina's satisfied. And I won't stop asking you out until you finally say yes," James added, giving her a lopsided grin that would make most girls melt.

"I certainly hope you'll stop, James, or I might have to wallop you a little bit," said a voice behind James. He turned and saw Derek walking past him, grinning slightly as his light brown curled hair blew in the cold breeze. Lily smiled at Derek and entwined her hand in his, next kissing his cheek and snuggling up close to him as it was February, very cold, and she had been standing outside watching the practice for quite some time.

James' jaw dropped as Lily gave him a cheeky and slightly evil smile. Realizing what he was doing, James snapped his mouth shut and said, "Wow, you two, together. Forgot to mention it, Derek?" James voice was easy-going, but his eyes were sharp and accusing.

Clearing his throat uncomfortably, Derek said, "Well, I just asked her last night and she said yes, plus I thought Quidditch was more important to focus on."

Lily gave him a slightly patronizing look, but covered it. She had to act as if she was blissfully happy with Derek and that nothing was wrong in their relationship so James would _finally_ take a hint.

"Huh," James said, his voice rising in octave. "Well, uh, congratulations you two and I hope you're very happy together." James tried to saunter off, but tripped over a small hole and did half a clumsy twirl in the air to keep from falling. Lily let out a shout of laughter while Derek bit his lip to keep his own laughter inside. Without looking back, James righted himself and walked normally back up to the castle.

* * *

"It's wonderful, he was so confused and now he has no idea what to do with himself!" Lily told her friends quietly while waiting outside the door for Defense Against the Dark Arts. A little ways down from their little group stood the Marauders. Sirius and Remus were talking quietly to James with Peter nodding along vigorously. James, who was leaning against the wall stonily silent, chewed the inside of his cheek thoughtfully while watching Lily talking. "I mean, you'd think his life revolved around asking me out," Lily said.

Aurelia shrugged. "It kinda does, Lily. That plus Quidditch and pranking."

"He really is distraught about it," Rita said. "James has been off during practice and he was muttering angrily to Sirius about how Derek is such an untrustworthy person now."

"I just love seeing him off his game," Lily said happily but quickly stopped talking when Professor Riordan opened the door to his room to begin class.

As it was usually two to a table in Defense, the three girls took turns sitting together while the other opted with sitting whoever was left. Usually this was Christopher Midgen, a shy boy who had a shockingly bad case of acne. Today he seemed to be missing, so Lily had a table to herself while Aurelia and Rita shared another.

Professor Riordan was very old and had a wheezy sort of voice that showed he was a big pipe smoker. He walked with his back hunched over and performed what would've been fearsome spells that same way, only he looked quite weak doing them. They learned what they needed to learn but Riordan was getting up there in age and they were expecting a new teacher any year now.

"Good afternoon, class," Riordan wheezed, coughing slightly. "We will be discontinuing our study of Dark creatures and begin on defense spells. There is a new Dark wizard rising, with an army gathering quickly behind him. Dumbledore has asked me to begin teaching you defense mechanisms so you can – " Riordan gave a violent hack " – defend yourselves. Today will be introductory, just teaching the theory behind some of the Dark spells and the ones that counter them, then next lesson we will begin hands on interaction."

All the Marauders grinned at the mention of hands on interaction and the rest of the class looked on fearfully. The Marauders were known for being over-exuberant with their Defense spells and had caused many injuries to other classmates for their extreme energy behind spells. "Now, if you'll please open your books to page 827, we will begin notes."

"So, how long do you think until James finds himself a twit in attempts to make Lily jealous?" Aurelia asked Rita quietly as Riordan hunched along the room, looking for some chalk.

Rita put her quill to her chin, pretending to deeply ponder the matter, then said, "Probably by lunch."

Riordan began lecture and Rita and Aurelia allowed him to get a little ways into it before continuing their discussion. The only time they could get away with talking in class was when Lily was not sitting with them, for she continually shushed them so she could avoid trouble. In all her years at Hogwarts, Lily had never gotten a detention. "My bet is before our next class," Aurelia said.

Smirking, Rita replied, "Whatever, James isn't _that_ popular."

"Ah, but he does have Sirius as a wingman, and the two of them make a lovely pair," Aurelia pointed out.

"Good point," Rita grumbled, her face displaying a frown instantly. "Alright how much?"

"Five galleons."

"What!?" Rita nearly shouted. Aurelia had tried to shush her but it was too late – Riordan stopped in the middle of a sentence describing the Imperius Curse to turn around. "Miss Garbunkal, are you confused about something?" Riordan asked, his voice revealing agitation. Rita was not a model student.

Shaking her head and feeling irritated she had been caught not paying attention, Rita said sarcastically, "Oh no, this is _so_ interesting and I'm absorbing every _syllable_ of it."

Behind Rita, Lily shook her head exasperatedly while Aurelia rolled her eyes. "Miss Garbunkal, I don't appreciate your cheek."

"And I don't appreciate notes or lectures, but I sit through them anyway, don't I?" Rita replied. Sirius looked at his teammate in open admiration while James concealed a laugh.

"Ten points from Gryffindor, Miss Garbunkal," Riordan wheezed, turning back to the chalkboard, "and next time it will be a detention."

"Looking forward to it, sir," Rita said, but Riordan chose to ignore that statement.

The bell signaling the end of the period rang forty-five minutes later and Sirius and James were the first to scuttle out. Aurelia and Rita shared knowing looks and looked back at Lily, who was still packing up and hadn't noticed their quick escape. All seven students shared their next class, which was Transfiguration – easily Sirius and James' best class. Lily had a bit of trouble with Transfiguration and had to work extra hard just to stay average.

After stopping in the common room to drop off a few books, the three girls headed to Transfiguration and were one of the first people there. Aurelia and Rita sat there impatiently, craning their necks whenever anyone filtered in. They shared this class period with Hufflepuff and both girls were sure that, if James wanted to make Lily jealous quickly, James would've scrounged up a 6th year from Hufflepuff.

"Are you two even listening?" Lily asked her two friends.

"Huh?" both Aurelia and Rita said, turning their heads to Lily reluctantly.

"I said I was worried about Derek – he has Ancient Runes and Professor Delaney hates him," Lily repeated slowly, watching her friends darting, uncaring eyes over the concern of her 7th year boyfriend. "Is there something wrong? You both are really antsy…"

"Uh, oh no, it's nothing," Rita muttered distractedly, tapping her fingers spasmodically on the wood surface while her eyes searched the hall for a sign of the Marauders. "It's just – ah ha! Damn, Aurelia, I owe you five galleons."

But Lily took no notice of what Rita had said and instead focused on James entering the classroom with his Marauder friends a few paces behind him. Grasping his hand and giggling stupidly was a fellow 6th year Hufflepuff named Fay Jones; a blonde haired skinny girl with decently pretty features, but no brains whatsoever. James was grinning down at her as she nearly bent over double, most likely laughing at a joke James had just told her. Lily's mouth dropped open, a horrified look creeping into her eyes as James glanced at her and smirked.

The bell rang and McGonagall walked in the room, but Lily was still in shock. "I don't believe it…why would he go with that, that berk!" Lily said in a loud whisper.

McGonagall looked at Lily, surprised. "Excuse me, Miss Evans, but why are you nearly shouting in my classroom?"

Lily broke out of her trance and blinked at McGonagall slowly. "Oh, erm, I'm sorry Professor, just not thinking, I suppose," Lily stumbled over her words, not making much sense. James grinned at her bumbling and turned attentively to McGonagall while Fay draped herself over his arm.

"Yes, well, I hope the rest of you are thinking, because we are about to begin a particularly difficult section of Transfiguration – human," McGonagall said, continuing her lecture, but neither Lily nor James were listening. Lily was stunned that James one up-ed her and James, besides the fact that he could already turn into an illegal Anamagus at will, was soaking up the glory of beating Lily Evans at her own game.

* * *

"Today, the match will be Hufflepuff against Gryffindor!" said the announcer whose name Lily did not know.

It was the weekend after Valentine's Day and Lily had come to the Quidditch match to support Rita and Derek. Really Lily had no interest whatsoever in Quidditch, but when Rita joined the team as Seeker in her third year, Lily of course came to support her. It was a bit exciting to be apart of the competition between houses and to witness some of the crazier plays that had happened over the years.

Since Lily and Aurelia were not big Quidditch fans, they rarely had any idea what was going on. In their fourth year, however, they began to go to the matches with Remus and Peter, who heard so much Quidditch talk from Sirius and James that it was like a second language to them and spent most of the match explaining to Lily and Aurelia what was going on.

"According to James, Hufflepuff has been very poor the past few years, but this year they have stepped it up and are somewhat of a threat," Remus explained loudly as the Hufflepuff team walked into the stadium.

"Have they won any games so far?" Aurelia asked, clapping politely.

Peter nodded. "They've only played Ravenclaw and they surprisingly flattened them."

"And now, Gryffindor! Lead by captain and Keeper Gina Davies are the three Chasers: Nehemiah, Mackenzie, and Potter, the two Beaters: Black and Harcourt, and the Seeker: Garbunkal!"

Wild cheers erupted from the Gryffindors while the Hufflepuffs and Slytherins booed. Ravenclaw soon joined Gryffindors in the cheers to override the booing – Ravenclaw was still a bit shirty that Hufflepuff had beaten them in their Quidditch match.

"The captains shake hands, each determined to win, and Madam Hooch releases the Quaffle!" the announcer said excitedly as each player zoomed into positions.

Immediately Gryffindor seized the Quaffle and began a series of complicated formations. Bryant, the Hufflepuff Keeper, seemed to be following the Quaffle very closely, but all of a sudden it sailed through the far left hoop while he was guarding the middle.

"Gryffindor scores: ten to zero! And it's Marriot with the Quaffle, dodging a bludger effectively and passing it to Walker. Walker to Laird and Laird prepares to score – oh my! Doppelbeater Defense carried out by Black and Harcourt perfectly! Laird is knocked sideways – her leg must be broken! – she drops the Quaffle and Nehemiah who zooms towards the goal posts with his fellow Chasers picks it up. Nehemiah to Mackenzie, Mackenzie to Potter, Potter gets ready to score, fakes left, right, left IT SOARS THROUGH THE MIDDLE HOOP! Twenty to zero Gryffindor!"

Lily cheered loudly with everyone else, even if it was James who scored. "What's a Doppelbeater Defense?" Lily asked loudly as the Hufflepuffs took control of the Quaffle.

"It's a play where the Beaters whack one bludger together at one of the opposing players," Remus shouted, then groaned with everyone else as Hufflepuff scored. "According to Sirius, it's very difficult to get and can go astray easily."

They both turned back to the game as Gryffindor was now in possession. But only James and Joelle were passing the Quaffle to each other – Derek was just sailing next to them holding his hands out randomly and putting them back down. "Huh," Remus said, "Peter, do you remember them telling us about this move?"

Peter shook his head. "No, but it could be something secret they couldn't share."

Remus raised an eyebrow and looked at the sky. "They've never done that before…"

Joelle failed to score and Hufflepuff took control of the Quaffle. James and Derek seemed to be arguing about something but James put on a burst of speed and left Derek behind. He intercepted the Quaffle and threw it to Joelle. Joelle threw it towards Derek who lifted his hands to catch it, but James zoomed forward and grabbed it out of the air, scoring another ten points.

"Thirty to ten, Gryffindor! It seems that Gryffindor's Chasers are having problems today as Potter and Nehemiah are having constant arguments in the air," the announcer pointed out.

"Why won't James let Derek have the Quaffle?" Lily asked Remus angrily as Hufflepuff scored again.

Shrugging, Remus said, "I don't know what his – oh…" Remus trailed off, his eyes widening in realization.

"What?" Lily asked.

Remus glanced at her, then shook his head. "N-nothing."

"And Nehemiah _finally_ has possession of the Quaffle," the announcer said. "He dodges a Bludger from Dennis, then another from Cromwell. He passes to Mackenzie, Mackenzie fakes and passes it back to Nehemiah, Nehemiah arches his arm to score…and Potter soars in front of him, taking the Quaffle out of his fellow teammate's hand! He goes to score but does so poorly – Bryant blocks the Quaffle easily and Hufflepuff is in possession." The announcer laughed. "It seems that now Mackenzie is yelling at both Nehemiah and Potter! I heard the words 'arrogant prats'…this is getting heated! And Davies calls a time out."

Up in the air, the Gryffindors zoomed to Gina at the goal posts. Her face was brick red and each player looked scared for his or her life. "Potter! Nehemiah! What the bloody hell are you two doing up there? Chasers work _together_ to score, not against each other!"

"James won't give me the Quaffle, he's taking all the glory for himself again, like he has in practice!" Derek accused.

"I can't depend on you as a teammate," James replied crossly, folding his arms and looking sour.

Joelle growled furiously and slapped both of them upside the head at the same time. "Ow!" James and Derek yelled, but Joelle ignored them and said, "Stop being arrogant blighters, I can't be thrown into the middle of this control game. Either you work together or I'm leaving the pitch, understand?"

"Couldn't have said it better myself, Joelle," Gina said, flying into James and Derek's faces. "Work together and if you don't, you'll wish you'd never been born. Break!"

The team began to fly off but Gina called Rita back. "I don't know what their deal is – " Gina began, but Rita held up a hand.

"Derek is going out with Lily and James is jealous and going about it the wrong way," Rita explained in monotone.

Gina's face resembled ketchup. "This is all about a _girl_?" Rita nodded and Gina groaned. "Well, this will never get resolved. Rita, I need you to catch the Snitch, and fast, before these blokes strangle each other in mid-air, got it?"

Rita sighed and nodded. Gina soared back to the goal posts and play resumed. "I'm going to kill James and Lily," Rita muttered to herself as her eyes frantically scanned the sky for the Snitch.

Even after Gina and Joelle's threats, James and Derek continued to work against each other rather than together as Hufflepuff gained a huge advantage on the scoreboard.

"And it's seventy to forty, Hufflepuff," the announcer read off. "Nehemiah with the Quaffle and Marriot rides along side him, trying to throw off his game. Nehemiah refuses to pass it to Potter _or_ Mackenzie and Marriot takes his stubbornness to her advantage. Hufflepuff now in possession…and Mackenzie is flying off the field! Looks like she's had enough of Potter and Nehemiah's stupidity, so does their captain Davies, as a matter of fact – AND SEEKER GARBUNKAL HAS SPOTTED THE SNITCH!"

Lily and Aurelia stopped tearing at their hair in frustration and stood up with the rest of the stands, watching Rita speed towards the Snitch. The opposing Seeker, Reeve, had sped up right next to her, both reaching up towards the Snitch that was trying desperately to flutter away from them.

"Potter uses the opportunity while Bryant is distracted to score a goal, but all eyes are focused on the Seekers," the announcer said as the stands began cheering on their favorite Seeker. Rita pulled out in front, her fingertips grazing a wing of the Snitch. Panicked, Cromwell, a Hufflepuff Beater, raced towards a Bludger and whacked it with all his might to Rita. She was forced to perform a very messy Sloth Grip Roll to avoid it and ended up hanging off her broom with one hand. The Bludger instead hit Reeve's shoulder, sending him sailing off course.

"And the Snitch has disappeared again as both Seekers were thrown off co – no wait, Garbunkal is back on her broom, eyes still on the Snitch, sailing towards it. She dodges another Bludger, effectively this time, and catches the Snitch! Gryffindor wins!"

Cheers erupted from the stands and the Gryffindor teamed soared to the ground, all looking very irate despite their win. Rita was the first on the ground, letting go of the Snitch as she landed. James and Derek were still arguing, Joelle was nowhere to be seen, Sirius and Rick looked irritated with the Chasers disagreements and Gina looked fit to kill. All walked straight to the locker rooms without celebration from the rest of their house.

Once the team was together, Rita beat Gina to the lecture. She charged towards James and Derek, who forgot their argument and looked extremely frightened. "I almost break my bloody neck to win because of you two being control freaks!" She changed her focus to James. "I know Quidditch is one of the most important things in your life and you always put one hundred and _ten_ percent into it, but I can't believe you let a stupid thing like jealousy would make you play like shit."

Derek's expression changed from scared to curious. "Jealous? Of what?" He turned to James. "We're equally talented, James, you know that…"

Rita let out a bitter laugh. "Oh no, he's not jealous of your talent, Derek…it's the fact that you're going out with the girl he's been pining after the past six bloody years."

Utterly confused, Derek continued to look at James questionably. "All that was about Lily?"

James swept a hand through his hair, then half shrugged. "A little…" he said. "But I don't know why I acted like that. It's not like Lily is _mine_ or anything."

"No she's not," Derek said firmly. "Sorry, mate, but you never really had her."

For a moment James' eyes flashed dangerously, but it was gone as quick as it came. He muttered another sorry and the two shook hands briefly. "Gina, sorry about my behavior, it won't happen again," James said almost robotic-like.

Gina gave James and Derek an evil smile. "That doesn't make up for anything. Tomorrow you two will be on the pitch at five in the morning and will continue to run drills until lunch. Understood?"

Both boys opened their mouths to protest, then they looked at one another and back at Gina, nodding.

Immediately after, Joelle came storming in the locker rooms. "You bloody pillocks! I'm going to strangle you two!"

James held up his hand. "Save the lecture, we've already had it – I'm _sorry_ Joelle!" James said exasperatedly as Joelle continued to glare evilly. "Quit looking at me like that!"

After everything was resolved and everybody had changed, they made their way back to the common room to enjoy the victory party. Lily looked as if she wanted to scold James also, but he spent the whole night avoiding her, for once.

* * *

Lily couldn't believe the way James was acting. First he made a complete arse of himself at the Quidditch game and Derek told her he had said it was because he had been jealous. Then he avoided her at the after party and for the following week during lessons, meals, and in the common room. And now he was being completely _disgusting_ with that cow, Fay Jones. Lily had caught her and James really going at it in a broom closet on one of her Prefect patrols and took twenty points off of each of their houses. 

He was driving Lily to the brink of _insanity_.

"Eurgh! My hair!" a girl whined to the left of Lily. Turning off the faucet, Lily looked down the row of bathroom sinks and saw the very same girl that was the current object of James' affection. Lily's blood boiled just _looking_ at the blonde and too skinny Fay. She was currently running her hands through her slightly wavy blonde hair and throwing them down in agitation every so often. "It is so hard to manage! I've looked up every hair spell in the library," she was telling a brunette girl that Lily recognized as 6th year Hufflepuff Tina Louis, someone Lily used to like, but now that she was hanging out with Fay… "and none of them work!"

Now, Lily was normally a very nice and good person. She strived to be friendly to everyone, even the Slytherins. It was only when you got on Lily's bad side that you had to watch out for your safety. It's true that Fay never did a thing wrong, it was just the fact she was the tool James was using to attempt to make Lily jealous – _which I'm not!_

Putting on her best smile, Lily dried her hands and walked over to Fay. "I'm sorry, I couldn't help but overhear – " _because your voice is so obnoxious_ " – but you're having trouble with your hair?"

Sighing and nodding, Fay jutted her hips out and put her hands on them. "Totally, I don't know what the deal is!"

Annoyance crept into Lily's skin and her smile became very forced. "Well, I know this spell that will make your hair, like, totally smooth."

Fay looked at Lily eagerly. "Really? What is it?"

Lily began twirling her finger around her hair. "The incantation is _levis_ and all you do is point your wand to the crown of your head."

Fay looked amazed and Lily was trying her best not to smirk. The charm _levis_ didn't really make someone's hair smooth, as Lily was sure Fay didn't know, but it actually made a person bald. "Thanks so much, you are a total life saver," Fay said as she grabbed Lily in a hug. As soon as Fay released her, she pulled Tina closer to her and said, "You do it, I'll probably mess it up, knowing me."

Lily snuck out of the bathroom, laughing quietly to herself as she walked down to dinner. But as soon as she reached the staircase that led to the Entrance Hall, Lily felt very bad for what she did. Fay did nothing wrong to her and all this was a revenge tactic on James for – what _was _it for?

Passing James and acting as if she didn't see him, Lily sat down across from Aurelia and Rita. "You guys, I did something so mean," she said guiltily.

"Was it to James?" Aurelia asked as she piled more Yorkshire pudding on her plate.

Lily shook her head, then shrugged. "Well sorta, no, yes, actually...no, no it wasn't to James."

Aurelia stopped scooping, looking at her best friend in shock. "Really? You're nice to everyone!"

"Except James," Rita added, joining Aurelia in looking at their best friend in surprise.

Lily quickly told them what she did to Fay and when she finished, both her friends broke out in gales of laughter. "You are an evil genius!" Rita said, wiping tears of mirth away. "I really wish I would've thought of that."

"It's not funny! I am such an awful person, she didn't do anything wrong!" Lily said but her friends continued laughing heartily. "Shut it, you two! I'm serious!"

"Oh Lily, it's fine, if she can't figure out how to fix it, Madam Pomfrey will in an instant," Aurelia said. "Come on now, have a bit of roast beef."

Lily shook her head wearily. "I couldn't, I have no appe – oh no…"

Tina, Fay's friend, just ran into the hall looking alarmed. She immediately went to James and whispered a few words in his ear. "I've got to go," Lily said, getting up and running past James, who glanced at her, and up to the common room.

Students came up from dinner every few minutes and Lily hid in the darkest corner of the room, reading a book without absorbing any of the words. Derek came over and apologized for not eating with her, but Lily waved him away impatiently and, feeling hurt, he walked up the boys staircase to go to bed. Rita and Aurelia came up and tried to engage Lily in conversation, but her mind was so troubled it was no use and they ended up playing Exploding Snap. The Marauders, with the exception of James, came in soon after Rita and Aurelia had started a game and sat next to the fire, chatting amongst themselves. Lily got more anxious with each passing second.

Right after the loudest explosion of cards from Rita's hand, James came storming in the common room looking furious. He spotted Lily at once and came over. "You made her _bald_!?" he yelled and half the common room looked over at him.

"I'm sorry! I had a temporary loss of sanity!" Lily apologized.

"What the hell are you playing at?" James asked heatedly. "Why would you even consider doing that?"

Shrugging lamely, Lily replied, "I just, I don't know, I just hated her at that moment and I got really mad and I seem to lose myself when I get mad and – "

"Was this some dumb revenge for the Quidditch game? Are you upset your precious Derek didn't get enough playing time?" James spat.

Lily's normal fury with James hit her full force. "Not everything in the world is about _Quidditch_, James," Lily said in her dangerous low tones.

James surveyed her quickly, then roughly grabbed her wrist. "Come on, you're going to put her right."

Snorting, Lily yanked her wrist from his grip, unaware that the whole common room was watching. "Don't command me to do something. I feel bad for what I did, really, ask Rita or Aurelia, I wouldn't eat! But I'm not going to respond to you being rude to me."

"I don't give a damn, you are just going to put my girlfriend right!" James nearly yelled. He made another grab for Lily's wrist, but before he could get there, Lily raised her hand and slapped him hard across the face. James put a hand to his cheek, looking at Lily in shock.

"Your girlfriend? Or is she only your new tool to make me jealous." It was a statement, not a question, and right after Lily uttered it she ran up the girl's dormitory stairs.

James shook out of his surprise and yelled after her, "Don't think I'm the only jealous one, I know you are jealous too! I know the reason behind all this!" There was a door slam from above him and James ran a hand through his hair.

Sirius stood and walked over to James through the silent common room. "James," he said, putting a hand on his shoulder, but James shook it away and walked stonily out of the common room.

* * *

**Author Notes:** I am on my knees begging for your forgiveness in this late and (quite frankly) not very good chapter. But at least it's long! It's sorta a transition chapter into, well, you'll see.

Still need suggestions for filler situations for 7th year AFTER Lily and James get together. Thank you for everyone who gave me ideas, you had no idea how much that helped me.

And that's about it. R/R!


	6. Is that how all his girlfriends react?

Summary: He thought she hated him. She thought she was just bragging rights. He kept missing his chances. She was running away scared. A story of love that follows Lily and James from 6th year until graduation. R/R!

Disclaimer: So no one sues me, I'm not JKR, I could never compare to JKR and you all know that. She is the almighty goddess of all things Harry Potter/magic. Her riches are not mine. Enjoy!

* * *

March…

In one way, Lily really didn't know why she did it, but in another way she did. Derek was the perfect way to make James jealous and was the first somewhat decent guy to actually brave asking her to go with him. He was very handsome, pretty smart, and got along well with her friends. But Lily had had it with his priorities – she was very far down his list. For Derek, it was Quidditch first, then school, then his mates, then food, and then Lily. She just got sick of only seeing Derek once or twice a week for a few minutes. And an even sadder fact, Lily thought to herself as she walked to the Great Hall, they had been going out for nearly a month and they kissed rarely and only snogged once for a couple of minutes.

_But it's all for the better_, Lily thought, _James is still going out with his idiotic girlfriend and hasn't talked to me since that fight in the common room._ Lily was actually surprised with James – in the past whenever he had girlfriends, he continued asking Lily out behind their backs, but with Fay he had absolutely ignored her. Lily knew it wasn't as if James had found someone he was really happy with (he cringed when ever Fay laughed, Lily had noticed) but it was still curious all the same.

And even when Lily offered an undercover jinx that caused Fay to become bald for two days, James didn't dump her like Lily thought he would…Lily remembered thinking that James was so vain about appearances he would ditch Fay as soon as he looked at her gleaming head, but he comforted and visited her continually in the hospital wing while waiting for her hair to return.

Lily really couldn't deny it any longer…James was a very sweet person. It was just when peer pressure came about he felt the need to act like a prat. Lily was also actually hurt that James went from being so obsessive and wearing to completely ignoring her and screaming at her in front everyone. Last night in the common room Lily had even tried to start a conversation with him, but James said very little and brushed past her up to his dormitory after a few minutes of disregarded conversation starters.

"Hello? Lily!" Rita said loudly, waving a hand in front of Lily's face. Lily blinked stupidly – she hadn't even realized she reached the Great Hall and sat down between her two best friends. "What is your deal?"

"I broke up with Derek," Lily said, acting as if that was the reason she had been oblivious to sitting down instead of inquiring thoughts of James Potter.

Both of her friends looked at her in shock. "Why? I thought things were going great…" Aurelia asked.

Shrugging, Lily said, "It felt weird, we hardly saw each other despite the fact that we're in the same house and I was so low on his list of priorities." _Plus the plan of making James jealous only worked the first three days of our relationship._

Rita gave her a sympathetic look. "Aww, well I'm sorry."

"No it's fine," Lily said, shrugging again. "He took it really well…"

But Lily trailed off, because at that moment Derek came storming into the Great Hall, looking extremely agitated. He spotted Lily, turned his head determinedly away from her, and sat down as far away from her as possible. Lily looked at her two friends and then said, "Well, maybe he didn't take it as well as I thought…"

Just as Lily and her friends turned back to their food, Sirius came bounding over. "Hello ladies!" he said jovially while springing up on his toes and jumping a little. Before they could say anything back, however, he blurted, "So, Lily, Derek looks upset – did you guys break up?"

Lily eyed him suspiciously. "Yes…" she said slowly.

Sirius' fake smile widened. "Oh I'm sorry, well, best be off – " And without another word, he nearly galloped away. Lily watched and, with grim satisfaction, saw he sat down next to James and whispered urgently in his ear.

"Huh," Lily said quietly to herself, "maybe the plan _did_ work…"

"What Lily?" Aurelia asked, although she had a somewhat superior look that seemed to know what Lily had muttered, so Lily didn't bother answering.

Watching James, Lily saw him stand quickly from the table, walk swiftly over to the Hufflepuffs table. There he spotted Fay, squeezed next to her, averted her kiss and began conversing in low whispers, receiving a slap then glares from Fay's Hufflepuff friends as she stood and ran out of the hall. James shrugged indifferently, got up and went back to sit with Sirius, grabbing a sandwich and talking animatedly as if nothing had been amiss.

"Is that how all his girlfriends react when he breaks up with him?" Lily asked to no one in particular.

Yet Rita responded. "Well, I don't know about the rest, but I remember after practice last year Gwendolyn Carvey acted a lot like Fay just did."

"Yeah," Aurelia added, "And a few years back Anna Gunnison actually kicked him in the, well, you know. Saw it late one night in the common room."

Rita and Aurelia began a tirade of reminiscent James break up's that soon led into a tirade of reminiscent Sirius break up's, but Lily paid no notice. How came James acted so dedicated to Fay when he just so easily broke up with her without any remorse?

* * *

Instead of studying, like James knew he should've been doing, he sat in the common room reading the latest issue of _Transfiguration Today_. It was close enough to studying, James reasoned with himself, but he could not deny that he wasn't really absorbing any of the words – he had been reading page eighteen for half an hour now, not getting any closer to midway down the article.

James hoped that going out with the twit Fay for a month would pay off. It was Remus' ingenious suggestion…

_Albeit, stolen from Lily in the first place_

…that James should go out with someone else to possibly make Lily jealous. Sirius jumped on board immediately and gave him a one hundred percent no backfire guarantee pick up line to use. Peter was the one who suggested Fay Jones.

At first James thought that was a good choice – she was a moderately pretty girl with a decent figure…

_Nothing on Lily's, though_

…but James soon realized how wrong he was after spending one day with her. When he went to his mates to contemplate a how best to break up with Fay and find a new way of asking Lily out, Remus firmly told him that if he acted very sweet and caring towards Fay, then Lily would finally see what a great boyfriend he was. Sirius (surprisingly) went right along and didn't offer a single pick up line. Every time James was close to ditching Fay or telling her off in public, Remus and Sirius acted as cheerleaders and gave him enough momentum to stand another day with her.

It was, therefore, electrifying to see Remus' plan work. When Lily turned Fay bald, James thought it was quite funny, along with Sirius, but Remus told him why he should be angry and James carried through, causing a large scene in the common room where he scolded Lily for her actions. And ever since then, Lily had been coming up to him, attempting to apologize and trying to start a decent conversation with him. But James decided it was best to act as if he was annoyed with her and kept his distance. It was killing him to treat her like that, but then a nagging voice kept reminding him of the past five and a half years of treatment from the same redhead.

However since each had broken up with their respective partners, there had been no difference in James and Lily's relationship, except now James was also dodging Lily. But Remus was a genius and James owed him _a lot_, so he was currently weathering the storm.

"You realized we have a test in Potions tomorrow and you haven't studied at all, right?" Remus said calmly, peering over the top of _Advanced Potion-Making_.

Throwing down _Transfiguration Today_, James said irritably, "She's not paying any more attention to me than she has in the past. I can't possibly concentrate on _studying_ for a worthless subject."

Rolling his eyes, Remus replied crossly, "Well, you are getting to her. She is constantly staring at you and I overheard her asking Rita why you were ignoring her. Now, Potions is not a worthless subject and you need to study because you have a pretty poor grade in that class."

Huffing, James began digging through his schoolbag. "I only listen to you, Remus, because you are a bloody genius with women and I owe you."

Remus, now smiling, said, "I'm only a genius with Lily because I'm friends with her and I'm friends with you and I know how daft you both are. And I think I owe you, Sirius, and Peter way more than I could ever begin to pay back."

James smiled back, but shifted in his chair uncomfortably. The Marauders never openly expressed their friendship to each other and these moments were rare and uneasy. So James opted to open his copy of _Advanced Potion-Making_ and began copying down the past few potions they've been working on in attempts to memorize them.

Just as James really started working, Sirius came bursting in the common room to serve as a perfect distraction. "I am no longer single, gentlemen," Sirius said as he pulled up a chair to the table where James and Remus were.

"What?" James asked and Remus put down his book to listen properly.

"Her name is Parul Panos, she's a fifth year Ravenclaw, and she has a sexy accent," Sirius said, leaning back in his chair.

"I think I know her," Remus said, putting on a frown as he thought, "Isn't she that Indian girl with the really annoying laugh?"

Sirius glared. "Her laugh isn't annoying!"

"How did this happen, anyway?" asked James, who had no idea who Sirius' new girl was.

Shrugging, Sirius said, "She was a really good snog so I decided to ask her out."

Both Remus and James pulled appalled faces. "Really, Sirius, you are usually not _that _much of a pig," Remus said, shaking his head.

Sirius ignored the comment. "I think you guys will really like her."

* * *

The next morning at breakfast Remus and James found out just how much they _wouldn't _like Sirius' new girlfriend. The Marauders walked out of the common room and immediately heard a squeal as a skin-tanned girl with black long hair tackled Sirius. "Sirius! What took you so long! I've been up since five waiting for you!" she exclaimed as she screeched an unearthly laugh and began to smother him with loud smacking kisses. Remus and James exchanged horrified looks while Peter looked confused.

"Who's that?" Peter asked as Sirius was shoved against the wall and Parul jumped around excitedly as she recounted every minute of what had happened since she last saw him.

"Apparently it's Sirius' new bird," James said warily. "Her name is Parul and I don't think we're going to get an introduction any time soon."

Peter bit his lip and attempted politeness. "Oh, well she's very, erm, loud."

"…and then this huge ostrich started pecking at my hair and it got messed up! Then I woke up and I realized my hair was fine! Then I showered and brushed my hair and brushed my teeth and got dressed and did my hair and then I walked out of the common room and then I walked over to this painting and I waited for you and then I found you and you know what else happened!" Parul finished in one breath.

The Marauders soon found out that everything Parul said was an exclamation. They also found out she didn't really have her own personality as she contradicted herself often and tried to agree with whatever anyone else said. She was also spoiled rotten (she spent most of breakfast listing all the things her father bought her) and very public with Sirius (she sat on his lap and, whenever she wasn't talking, fed him all his food, snogging him heavily in between bites), which James figured was the reason why Sirius could stand to spend more than two minutes in her presence.

Even though James had not really got to study for his Potions test the night before, he was so thankful that Sirius and Parul had to part ways so they could go to class. After they had shared a very non-verbal goodbye (which, sadly, was much more appreciated than her voice) Sirius came up to James and Remus, grinning. "So, what did you think of her?"

"Uh," James said lamely, "Well, she's very pretty." Remus nodded in agreement.

Sirius snorted. "Anything else?"

But both Remus and James were saved the trouble of telling Sirius the truth when Slughorn entered the room and called for silence. James immediately searched the dungeon for Lily and found her, looking as gorgeous as ever. But then, for the first time, James' eyes swiveled to Rita who was sitting next to Lily. Her eyes were suspiciously watery and red-rimmed. Her nose also had a "Rudolph" look to it as if she had been vigorously blowing her nose.

"What do you thinks wrong with Rita?" James asked Sirius and Remus.

They looked over and frowned at the same time. "I don't know…" Remus said.

"I hope she's okay to practice tonight," Sirius said, analyzing her carefully. "Gina will have her head if she's not well enough to practice."

"But she doesn't look sick," James said, "more – "

" – upset," Sirius finished for him. "Yeah."

"Mr. Black and Mr. Potter!" Slughorn said irritably. Both snapped their bodies to the front. "What did I just instruct?"

"Er – let the games begin?" Sirius suggested stupidly.

Slughorn shook his head and his third chin wobbled. "Please pay attention or I will take points from Gryffindor. Now, as I was saying before, you will have three quarters of an hour to complete the potion I randomly assign you, which I assure is plenty of time to do so. The last quarter of the hour I will grade each potion." He waved his wand and rectangular sheets of paper with the name of a difficult potion fell in front of each person. "Forty-five minutes starting…NOW!"

James looked at his paper, which read _Draught of Living Death_. His heart sank – the only potion recipe he somewhat memorized the night before was Draught of Peace, but, James just now realized, they had already covered that in their O.W.L.'s the year before.

After lighting the fire under his cauldron, James pondered for a moment on what came next. He knew he had to do something with sopophorous beans, but couldn't recall what. So James just threw a handful in the cauldron. There was also something with an infusion of wormwood, but since James had no clue what he just added the wormwood.

Five minutes to go and James potion was not, the shades James recalled, a light shade of lilac or crystal clear. Instead it was a murky green color with thick black smoke rising from it. "Well, that's the best I can do," James muttered furiously and sat back, trying not to breath the putrid smell of rotting milk.

"And stop what you're doing! Time's up!" Slughorn called from his desk. He began making his way around the room, giving the highest of praises to Lily and Snape. James knew by the look on Slughorn's face when he spotted his cauldron that he was not going to get good marks. "My, my Mr. Potter," Slughorn said slowly, holding the back of his hand against his nose. "I don't know how you've gone so steadily downhill in your Potion work. You were quite average the previous year."

Shrugging, James replied, "This year is much harder, sir."

"Tsk, tsk. Well, I'm sorry, but I'll have to give you a D for this." And with that, Slughorn cleared James' potion away so he could stop gagging. James sighed impatiently and began to pack up his cauldron, thinking he should always listen to Remus, even if he told him to jump off the Astronomy Tower in order to sprout wings.

* * *

"Evans! Hey Evans!" James called, chasing after Lily who was walking out of Ancient Runes. With a heavy rolling of her eyes, Lily stopped and put a hand on her hip. "Can I talk to you for a second?"

"Oho," Lily said, arching an eyebrow. "It's just fine to ignore me, then scream at me, then ignore me some more when I'm trying to talk to you. But when _you_ need to talk, it's all fine?"

James stopped next to Lily and shoved his hands in his pockets embarrassingly. "I know I've been an arse and I apologize." There was a short silence as Lily glared reproachfully at him. "Can I ask you something now?"

Lily gave him one last glare then nodded shortly. "As long as you aren't asking me out."

James laughed. "No, actually. Well, I've been thinking…" James tried to decide the best way to go about it. He wasn't used to asking for help and he was sure that Lily would turn him down. _Flattery would be best._ "You're really good at Potions, in my opinion, even better than Snape and I'm actually admitting he's pretty damned good."

Working to keep down a small proud smile, Lily began walking down the hall as James ran up next to her. "What are you on about? You never give me flattery that's not about my non-existent looks."

"Non-existent?" James nearly yelled, but after Lily's death glare he stopped himself from trying to ask her out. "Right, well, er…you saw how badly I did in Potions yesterday, yeah?"

Lily snorted. "Anybody with nostrils could tell how bad you did."

Frowning, James was about to shoot back an insult, but once again bit his tongue. He was asking for help. "I probably deserved that. Anyway, well, you're really good at Potions and I'm really having trouble with it this year. So, yeah, I was wondering if, er, you could possibly tutor me or something."

The last few words James uttered were so quiet it was nearly impossible to hear them in the crowded hallway. But Lily understood and stopped dead (causing people to run into her and mutter angrily as they passed) and gave James unbelieving look. "You want help?" James nodded. "James Potter, bigheaded prat of Hogwarts, is asking for help?" James nodded again and Lily laughed. "Well, I might have to agree just because you actually _asked_. This isn't some scheme to embarrass me or ask me out, is it?"

"No, it's really not," James said. "It's just – you're the smartest person I know and you are really good at that subject." Lily looked a bit bashful. "Go ask Slughorn if you don't believe me."

Lily shook her head. "No, I know how you're doing. All right, fine. Tell me what days you don't have Quidditch and I'll see what I can do."

James smiled. "Thanks so much Lily." James paused. "Speaking of Quidditch, do you mind if I ask you something else?"

A little warily, Lily asked, "What is it?"

"Well, I've noticed Rita is looking pretty depressed lately and she's been a little off in practice. Is something wrong?"

Lily looked at James in shock. He was actually perceptive enough to know there was something wrong and he actually showed genuine compassion to another human being that wasn't a Marauder. "Yeah, there is something wrong – nothing really bad like some one dying," Lily added after the concerned look on James' face, which made her heart tug just enough for her to ignore without question. "But I wouldn't feel right telling someone else what she's confided in me."

James nodded. "I understand, should I even attempt asking her about it?"

"Uh," Lily said, shrugging a little, "I don't know if she'd tell you, but you have been playing on the same team for quite a few years…I don't know, you could try I suppose."

"Okay," James said, now worrying about Rita but also excited he and Lily were having a civil conversation. Confidently James stuck out his hand for Lily to shake. "How about we call a truce, for the time being if you wish."

Smiling a little, Lily took it hesitantly. James' heart thudded – it was one of the few times he had made contact with her skin and it was absolutely intoxicating. He had never felt that way about any girl. "No, I think this truce will last for at least," she pretended to think, "a week."

She was joking around with him – James felt slightly giddy. "A week? That's pretty long term for us, are you sure it would be just a few days?" James joked back.

Giggling, Lily said, "No, I think we can do a week. And if we reach that goal, maybe we could add another week on."

They smiled and simultaneously realized they were still holding hands without the pumping motion that indicated a handshake. Both yanked their hands away and put them to their hair. "Well, I'll just talk to you later about it, then," James said. Lily nodded in agreement. They stood in awkward silence for a moment or two then gave each other a half wave and went their separate ways.

* * *

Author Notes: Ten points to the appropriate house if someone can tell me what television show character I based Parul off of. )

Sorry sorry sorry for the long update. I won't blame it on anything/one but myself. I decided after writing the first two pages of this chapter to re-read Harry Potter, books one through six so as to have everything fresh in my mind before entering Deathly Hallows (eep!) and I gained about a thousand new theories. Every little mention, like "And suddenly the canary turned a bright shade of purple!" spurred a whole deep and twisted theory (no that line is really not in any of the books). Then after that I was feeling H/G withdrawals, so I read my favorite fanfic of all time: After the End. The chapters are HUGE and there are something like forty-eight. Of course I skimmed for the best parts (which I am now well adapt at doing, as I've read it as many times as I've read GoF, which is a lot) and now I am in a deep romantic mood.

Unfortunately, my story is still in the stages of Lily and James not snogging. So it's been very hard to push all the fluffy fanfic moments out of my head and write the L/J love-hate relationship we've all grown to love. Basically the point of this whole ramble is it's completely my fault for not updating and I apologize on bended knee.

To wrap up these long and excruciating author notes, I'll put a question out to readers. What is your Deathly Hallows release plans? As for me, I'll be getting the book at approximately 10 in the morning on Saturday. I will wake up at 9:58 and watch out my window for the delivery truck. My mom will go and get it and bring it up to me. I will close the door and soundproof it by covering all cracks with a combination of thick blankets and duct tape (there are many TV's in my house and all are on 24/7 with the volume screaming). I will have brought non-perishable food into room to last me for the day, along with frozen bottles of water, which my mom will deliver with the book. The only sound I will listen to is my iPod. It takes me an average of 20 minutes to read a chapter, so if the book is, say, thirty chapters long, I should be done in 12-14 hours and will finish it at around 10pm-midnight the same day. Then I will spend at least half an hour sobbing my brains out because a) the series is actually over and/or b) one of my favorite characters die. I will probably exit my room and get something real to eat besides crackers and dry cereal. Then I will spend the next day reliving every second to my mom who will not be listening to a word I say and will instead be working on her college Astronomy homework.

I will most likely be anxiously awaiting for some other HP fan to finish so I can gush over the book, so as soon as you finish EMAIL ME!

That is all (finally). R/R!


	7. What he loves doing? Oh, besides you

Summary: He thought she hated him. She thought she was just bragging rights. He kept missing his chances. She was running away scared. A story of love that follows Lily and James from 6th year until graduation. R/R!

Disclaimer: So no one sues me, I'm not JKR, I could never compare to JKR and you all know that. She is the almighty goddess of all things Harry Potter/magic. Her riches are not mine. Enjoy!

**Song Credit – Here With Me by Dido.**

* * *

To both James and Lily's surprise, their tutoring truce lasted for two weeks without mishap. Of course they only met twice a week for one hour (between Gina's manic Quidditch practices and Lily's hectic helpfulness it was difficult to find times that worked for both of them) but the only insults that were exchanged were ones of playful banter. James' heart felt lighter and lighter after each session and even Lily felt especially giddy afterwards and actually found herself looking forward to their next session. They began smiling at each other during classes, waving to each other in the halls, and were seen occasionally playing chess after some tutoring lessons.

All of Hogwarts was buzzing about this newfound friendship. They were so used to blocking all the screams, threats, and jinxes that when the excess noise went quiet, it felt even louder than the fighting and an unknown peace settled like the dust in the castle.

The buzzing turned into a swarm of excited bees in the Great Hall one morning when Lily went over to sit with James at breakfast. Even James and Lily's friends joined in the loud mutterings. Apparently Lily agreed to sit with James and his friends during meal times (with Rita and Aurelia following without complaint for various reasons) to give James extra help because, as Lily said, "he really is just not grasping this advanced work."

"Of course I'm acting a little dumber than normal," James told Sirius, throwing out a Jelly-Legs Jinx at a 4th year that was staring. "I mean I want to keep seeing Lily and twice a week is not enough. If I just had more time with her under the pretense of studying, she might fall for me."

Sirius nodded in understanding as they turned a corner and traveled down a staircase. "I don't know how you tricked her into sitting with us though, that's – _Tarantallegra!_ – bloody brilliant."

James shrugged while admiring Sirius' handiwork on a 7th year Slytherin girl. "I didn't trick her, I just told her this was really difficult and I thought we needed to schedule more sessions. But our personal timetables are too full, so she offered to sit with me at meal times so I could grasp the concept of potion making instead of practicing the mixing like we normally do. _Rictusempra!_ It's no picnic, I'm not used to humbling myself."

A 5th year Ravenclaw began to laugh uncontrollably and Sirius chuckled appreciatively. To show their "power" and flex their testosterone, James and Sirius randomly hexed students in the halls in attempt to send the message they're not to be crossed. This cursing spree began in first year yet did not occur as often as it used to for Peter usually became way overexcited and Remus heavily disapproved. Last year he got so angry he docked points off his own house for it. So James and Sirius had to do it when they were by themselves, which wasn't often.

"Well, I never thought I'd say this," Sirius paused as he flicked his wand and a boy was suspended by his ankles, "but Remus truly is a genius with women."

James laughed. "I told him that but he just said – _Avis! Oppugno!_ – that he knows how idiotic me and Lily are."

"I'll drink to that." Sirius began to curse another innocent bystander when he saw Snape approaching from behind out of the corner of his eye.

Sirius whipped around and James followed, both pulling their wands simultaneously. Snape copied them and they stood silent for a moment, glaring at each other. "Trying a cowardly attack from behind _Snivellus_?" James spat, holding his wand higher.

People still in the area scattered quickly so if a jinx went astray they would not be victims, but the three boys didn't break eye contact to watch them flee. Snape's lip curled and he muttered, "If I remember correctly, it was the two of _you_ who pulled wands first."

Sirius let out a cruel bark-like laugh. "Self defense, Snapey, we didn't want any grease flung at us as you passed."

Snape raised his wand but James was faster. "_Densaugeo!_"

Snape stumbled back a bit as his teeth began to grow alarmingly quickly. But he reversed the spell and shouted "_Langlock!_" with his wand pointed at Sirius.

Sirius shouted, "_Protego!_" and then yelled, "_Locomotor Mortis!_"

But Snape threw up his own shield and raised his wand to say another hex. Before he could, James and Sirius nodded to each other and yelled, "_Furnunculus!_"

"What the hell is going on?" a voice said sharply from the staircase.

"Oh no," James and Sirius muttered in unison. Snape took advantage of the distraction and shouted, "_Expelliarmus!_"

James and Sirius were flung backwards and their wands flew to Snape's feet. Snape raised his wand once more but before he could utter another curse a loud bang erupted through the hallway as Lily sent ropes to bind James, Sirius, and Snape.

"You were cursing innocent bystanders and then you start _another_ battle with Snape?" Lily yelled, coming down the staircase and stopping in front of James.

"We pulled wands at the same time!" James said, agitated. "How come you never accuse Snape?"

"Lily opened her mouth to retort but before she could there was a squeal so high pitched dogs could've heard it miles away. "Siri-poo! What happened?" Parul came running towards the tied up Sirius, tears welling up in her eyes as she dropped beside him and cradled his head in her lap. James began laughing and Parul glared at him, then Lily because she had her wand drawn. "What did you do to him?" she asked Lily.

"They were dueling in the hallways and I had to separate them," Lily said simply.

"That's Siri-poo's passion! It's – _be quiet James!_ – what he loves to do!" Parul cried as Sirius looked up at her with puppy dog eyes; he looked as if he was thoroughly enjoying her sympathy.

Lily snorted in disgust. "What he loves doing? Oh, besides you, I suppose."

"Burn!" James yelled while laughing.

Parul screeched, yanked out her wand and aimed it at Lily. A white light shout out of it and Lily spun like a tornado through the air, landing hard on the staircase. She stood shakily and then looked up, eyes blazing. "Twenty points from Ravenclaw for cursing a prefect! Ten from Snape, Potter, and Black for dueling in the halls and ten from Potter and Black for jinxing defenseless people!" And with that, Lily stormed away.

"Lily! They weren't defenseless! They had wands! Lily!" James called as the hem of her robe whipped around a corner. "Untie me someone!" James yelled.

"Hmph," Parul said as she unbound Sirius. "You laughed at me earlier."

"I've got it, mate," Sirius said as he stood and sliced the tip of his wand along the side of the ropes before James could keep yelling. James shook the ropes off and hurried after Lily. "I thought he was smarter than that," Sirius said sadly while shaking his head. "Always give them space.

Parul hmph-ed again and then began attacking Sirius with kisses as if she were healing boo-boos. They walked off, leaving a boil-covered Snape on the ground, wiggling against his constraints and trying desperately to reach for his wand.

* * *

Lily refused to accept James' very insincere apologies and lame, one-sided excuses for why he did what he did. "Look, Potter," she finally said, "I can't respect or be around someone who hurts innocent people for no reason except sport." She paused, surveying him. "Until you learn to grow up, I'm afraid I can't keep tutoring you."

James groaned. "But Lily, I've been doing so much better since you've been helping and my grades still aren't anywhere close to passing."

"Then you better spend less time pranking and more time studying," Lily replied, walking up to the girl's dormitories.

"I do study! I just don't get it!" he called after her, but Lily just ignored him.

Three Potions lessons later James was utterly fed up and his work reflected his carelessness immensely. James tried his best to push Lily out of his thoughts during other times but Potions was too much hers. He recalled their short friendship, the jokes they shared, the chats they had, and a little of this and that she taught him regarding potion making. Lily was an excellent teacher and James had learned more from her than he did from Slughorn, but James had been just too elated that Lily was friendly to focus on schoolwork.

"You have half an hour left, make sure you are at least to line seventeen of the instructions," Slughorn called from his desk and James grunted. His potion was completely black with thick purple smoke rising from the surface – it was supposed to be dark blue with silver smoke.

On the other side of the room Lily was stirring her potion six clockwise turns and three counter-clockwise turns. It turned dark blue and her grey smoke turned silvery. Smiling, she removed her stirring rod and extinguished the fire under her cauldron, sitting back and enjoying the victory of another perfect potion.

A loud hissing filled the room and Lily looked for the cause of it, her heart sinking a little to find James looking extremely frustrated with a potion that was spitting sparks and looking ready to explode. She glanced at Slughorn – he was busy grading essays.

_I'm not going to help him, _Lily thought to herself, _I'm still mad at him._

_That potion is going to kill someone;_ another voice argued inside of her, _I need to put it right before his cauldron collapses. _

Glancing once more to make sure Slughorn was busy; Lily crept over to where James was sitting as they were at individual desks today. "Do you need help?" Lily asked, hiding at the corner of the desk furthest away from Slughorn.

James glimpsed at her from the corner of his eye, his hand wandering vainly over ingredients. "Isn't that a little obvious?" James let out an irritated sigh. "It doesn't matter, this thing's ruined."

Sympathy for James that was only discovered since tutoring him wound it's way into her heart and Lily touched his shoulder gently. "No, I think we can salvage it enough to get a good grade. What line did it start going wrong?"

James looked at her again before searching the blackboard. "About line four – don't look at me like that, I told you I'm rotten at this."

Sighing, Lily began quickly adding ingredients, consulting the blackboard and James' copy of _Advanced Potion-Making._ Every now and then she would give James instructions to add this, slice that, stir more. Soon the potion was royal blue with grey steam, very close to the required result.

"Keep stirring it counter clockwise until it turns a darker blue," Lily instructed in whispers, leaning against the wall to support herself. "You really messed up this potion, James," Lily added inquisitively, "You must've been wrong about at least seven ingredients—"

It took all James had to nod his head in understanding. Despite the fact he had been on cloud nine for the past ten minutes she had been helping him _and_ that his heart leapt for joy when he was called James instead of the usual Potter, he had to completely concentrate on the cauldron for Lily's skirt had slid dangerously far up her leg when she had leaned against the wall and most of her thigh was exposed. Her melodic voice that usually entranced James was a dull murmur because the blood pounding in his ears was making it hard to hear anything at all. And even though the rational side of him was screaming "KEEP LOOKING AT THE CAULDRON!" his teenage hormones controlled him and James chanced a long look at Lily's exposed skin.

The pounding in his ears hadn't quieted (in fact, it seemed to have gotten louder) but James registered the fact that Lily had stopped talking. Looking up from her perfect skin, James saw Lily's eyes had narrowed in anger. "Go on," James said, putting on the sexiest grin he could muster as he ruffled his hair out of habit.

Lily shifted her weight to her knees and James watched sadly as her skirt moved back into place. _Big mistake, you wanker_, James thought to himself as his gaze darted back into Lily's fiery eyes. "What was I just saying, James?" Lily asked in a low, would be calm voice.

Gulping and trying to ignore how _hot_ she was when she was pissed, James replied, "Well, it was something about potions I expect."

With a scoff, Lily slammed her fists on the dungeon floor angrily as James inched as far back as he could on his seat, looking scared for his health. "You were practically drooling. I can't believe I ever tried to help you," Lily spat and stomped back to her seat.

James was just about to call after her when Slughorn clapped his hands together and said merrily, "Time's up! Please carefully bottle up your potions and place them on my desk."

Mentally slapping himself for what a complete _imbecile_ he was, James angrily grabbed his phial and scooped the potion in, quickly putting it on Slughorn's desk. He had to catch Lily before Charms and apologize for being, well, a guy. James hastily cleaned his area, shoving ingredients in his bag as he kept one eye on Lily the whole time. She seemed to be in an even greater rush then James was.

Just his luck, Lily was the first out the door and James wasn't even halfway done picking up his stuff. "Sirius!" James called to the back of the room. Sirius stopped muttering about how all potions despised his existence and looked up. "Can you clean up my stuff and get my bag? I have a Code Jade situation." Sirius nodded his head, understanding the code the created over the summer signaling James had to make up for something stupid he did to Lily.

Shooting Sirius the thumbs up sign, James decked out of the classroom and down the corridor he was sure Lily had taken. He saw her shining locks a few yards ahead, almost jogging to the entrance hall. "Lily!" James called, but she didn't slow her pace. "Lily! I need to say something!" James said, catching up with her and grabbing her arm.

But Lily jerked out of his grasp and turned to face him, yelling, "No, I will not!"

For once, James looked genuinely confused. "What?"

"You heard me. Quit trying to ask me out James, it's never going to happen," Lily said, glaring at him.

"I wasn't going t—"

Lily interrupted him. "I don't want to hear excuses. You keep telling me you've changed and that you would do anything to be with me. I go out on a limb and try to be your friend. But you know what James?" Lily said, advancing on him, "You haven't changed at all. You're still the same arrogant, bullying jerk that I've known since I was eleven. All you think about is what's best for you and all you want is bragging rights that you've been with every girl in Hogwarts. And I refuse to be another notch on your bedpost. I hope that penetrates through your think head." Lily finished, flicking his skull and attempting to go around James.

But James grabbed her elbow to stop her. He shook his head, disbelieving, then looked into her face; Lily stopped trying to wiggle away. "You actually believe those rumors? Is that why you won't give me chance, because you have this pre-conceived notion in your head that all I want to do is get in your pants, then dump you and brag about it?" James asked, failing to conceal the hurt in his voice.

Sighing, Lily replied, "How I am supposed to ignore them when you go along with every single one?" They both stared at each other for a long while until Lily was finally released from his grip.

"Fine," James muttered, quietly, "If that's what you truly believe, then I'll leave you alone." Lily stared at him, her expression unreadable. "Have a good weekend Lily," James said quietly, then walked off slowly. The bell rang but Lily just stood there, running what James had said over in her mind. Was he really going to stop bothering her?

Although this thought should've cheered her up greatly, his words left Lily with an empty feeling as she rushed off to Charms.

James never made it to his next class; instead he headed up to Gryffindor Tower and went up the boy's staircase to his dormitory. He ripped off his robe in frustration and fell on his bed, letting out an irritated growl. James grabbed his wand out of his pocket and flicked it at the radio. A song he wasn't familiar with came through the speakers.

_I didn't hear you leave_  
_I wonder how am I still here  
__And I don't want to move a thing  
__It might change my memory_

Even though Lily had said those same words many times to James, for some reason this time it hurt him. Well, his ego was always stripped whenever she called him out, but today her hate left him with an ache inside his chest.

_Oh I am what I am  
I do what I want  
But I can't hide_

He didn't even know why he kept being this arrogant asshole to show off. James' father always told him to be proud of his talents, and that's what James had always thought he was doing; just being proud he's bloody amazing at Quidditch and really clever. But now he realized somewhere along the way pride turned to arrogance and he really was this jerk that bullied those who were weaker and wanted admiring Quidditch fans to worship the ground he walked on.

_And I won't go  
__I won't sleep  
__And I can't breathe  
__Until you're resting here with me  
__And I won't leave  
__And I can't hide  
__I cannot be  
__Until you're resting here with me_

Now James did know what he really wanted, Lily. He thought he wanted tons of girls begging for a chance with him, but it's really been Lily all along. Since the sorting ceremony his first year, James has been absolutely smitten with Lily. _I've always wanted her…_James thought to himself. Back when he was eleven, the way to show a girl you liked her was by picking on her, and that's just what James did. She always got so damn cute when she was hopping mad. What James didn't do was grow up; there comes a point where jokes don't cut it anymore and the way to make a girl see was to turn into a new age Romeo.

_I don't want to call my friends_  
_For they might wake me from this dream  
__And I don't want to leave this bed  
__And risk forgetting all that's been_

Why didn't he listen to Remus all those times? James rarely took his advice and usually ignored him. Sirius had influenced his behavior greatly, but that didn't matter, he shouldn't have been so much of an arrogant show-off. All he wanted to do was impress her and make her fall for him, like he fell for her, but he had no clue how to go about it.

_Oh I am what I am_  
_I do what I want  
__But I can't hide  
__And I won't go  
__I won't sleep  
__I can't breathe  
__Until you're resting here with me  
__And I won't leave  
__I can't hide  
__I cannot be  
__Until you're resting here with me_

_I love her_, James realized with a start. He didn't see it before, but now he knew. James Potter loved Lily Evans. That's why Lily has been his obsession for the past six years. Before he never knew why he _had_ to have her, but now it was clear. It was no infatuation, James loved her. He tried to find another girl just like her, but there was no one. She was so unique, so amazing…

"I'm going to change," James said to himself, "I'm done being egotistical, I'm not going to hurt anyone else, I will change and she'll notice." James put his head in his hands. "Even if all we can be is friends, that's okay, I just want her in my life."

* * *

It took ten apologies that included Sirius, Remus, Peter, Rita _and_ Aurelia for Lily to resume tutoring James again. It took James' extreme Potions dedication to get Lily to sit with him at meal times again.

"So it's sorta instinct that makes someone good," James said slowly, taking a bit of meat while looking at the notes Lily made. Half the page was on James' leg while the other half was resting on Lily's. James claimed it was because he "could see them better this way" but really James just wanted to be that close to Lily. "Like cooking – the basic recipe is there but to make it rememberable you have to add a pinch of this and a dash of that of your choosing."

Lily chewed thoughtfully on a bite of green beans. "Yes, interesting analogy. Do you cook, James?"

James' cheeks flushed and Sirius snorted. "Does James cook? He's probably the best damn chef I know! Besides his mum, of course."

Parul whined and tugged on Sirius' shirt. "Pay attention to _me_!"

Lily rolled her eyes and glanced at Rita, who was sitting to her right. Her eyes seemed to be boring into her meal yet they were unfocused. Aurelia was patting her leg reassuringly under the table. _Poor Rita,_ Lily thought, _I knew she liked Sirius, but she's never been this upset over any guy._

"That's a good way to put it, James." Parul and Sirius began cooing at each other. "Of course Potions is a little deeper than that – " Parul squealed as Sirius began tickling her and Lily was forced to talk louder. " – a very thorough understanding of ingredients is needed – " now they were sharing loud smacking kisses " – along with the knowledge of what mixes well and what doesn't."

Parul began talking baby talk to Sirius and feeding him bits of the desert that had just appeared on the table. Growling under her breath, Lily turned from an amused James and slammed her hand against the table – Sirius and Parul looked at her blankly. "Do you _mind_?"

Before either could answer, Rita let out a small sob and ran from the table. Parul seized Sirius' attention while everyone was distracted. "What's wrong?" Remus, James, and Peter all asked at once. Sirius, who was sidetracked with Parul's mouth, didn't realize Rita had left.

"It's not out place to explain," Aurelia said, standing and grabbing Lily's arm. They left the Great Hall, leaving three-fourths of the Marauders in confusion.

* * *

"Very good practice," Gina said, leaning on her broom as her team surrounded her. "How we play is all going to depend on what the weather feels like doing, but since our match is in May, I say we're up for pretty good conditions. Rita, you didn't have your usual magic, just work on being the seeker I know you are. Team dismissed."

James looked over at Rita, taking in her lank hair, puffy eyes, and hunched form. Sirius was also looking over at Rita with concern, but James wanted to talk to her alone. "Hey mate, can you take my broom back for me?" James asked Sirius. Nodding, Sirius grabbed James' broom and headed to the changing rooms.

"Hey Rita!" James called as soon as Sirius was out of earshot. Rita stopped walking without looking back as James caught up to her. There was a small silence as they fell in step, heading back to the castle.

"Good practice, eh?" James attempted, but Rita just shrugged in response. "Of course, we can be better, but if Gina says it was good it must've been damn near flawless, yeah?" Rita shrugged again.

Silence ensued once more and James cleared his throat awkwardly. "Listen, Rita," James finally said, "can I be completely candid with you?"

Rita looked at James and shrugged again. "It depends on what you want to be candid about," she croaked, her voice scratchy.

James rubbed the back of his head. "Well, I can, well, really, everyone can tell," Rita winced, "that you've been really upset about something lately. I consider you a friend and friends are supposed to support each other." Rita hung her head. "Is there anything you want to talk about? Cause I'll listen and I won't make any jokes. Promise."

Rita stopped walking and shoved her hands in the pockets of her robes. She opened and closed her mouth a few times as if she was trying to get something out, then finally gave up and shook her head.

After surveying her mute form, James said, "Hmm, well then, can I guess what it might be about."

Sniffing, Rita replied, "I'd rather you didn't."

"I'm going to anyway." James grabbed her arm and pulled her along so they could continue walking. "I don't think it's anything about family and I know it's not about Lily or Aurelia because they're with you every second of the day." Rita kept trying to turn away from James. "I think it's about a guy. And I think that guy is Sirius."

Rita once again stopped walking, but this time her expression was not meek or sad. She looked furious. "Who told you? Did Lily? Is she talking behind my back?"

James held his hands up in defense. "No, no, no! It's just obvious when every time he's around you can't stop looking at him and get really upset. And then I realized you always used to flirt with him during practice and now whenever he tries to joke around with you, you ignore him. And your usually good game has been off."

Rita continued to glare at him. "If it's so obvious – " she started, then stopped in mid sentence; the fire had left her eyes and she was sullen once more. "Does he know?"

James shook his head. "Not a clue. He had noticed you've been miserable and keeps wanting to get it out of you. But Remus, Peter, and I have headed him off."

Nodding, Rita replied. "Good." Rita rubbed her eyes wearily. "I've liked him since last year, just so you know. But for some reason this Parul girl has made me so upset, more so than any of the other cows he's dated."

Grinning, James said, "Yeah, I know it. I think he just likes the attention he gets from her. He went through a pretty traumatic family incident over Christmas and I just think he wants devoted love and attention he never got."

"That's deep, I'm impressed," Rita said, showing a small smile that had been hidden for the previous few weeks.

There was another pause in the conversation. James ran a hand through his hair. "If you want, I can talk to him – "

"No," Rita interrupted. "Sorry, but I don't want him to know anything yet."

James nodded in understanding, then patted her comfortingly on the back. "Parul won't last long. I promise."

Rita sighed. "I know…the thing that bothers me is she's just lasted longer than any other."

* * *

Sirius we need to talk," James said, walking over to the table in the common room where Sirius sitting with a book and parchment, Remus and Peter were right behind him.

Sirius quirked his eyebrow irately without looking up. "What's today's date?"

"The 31st of March, but don't change the subject," Remus said soundly. "There is a certain girl we need to talk to you about."

Sighing, Sirius set down his quill and turned to his friends, crossing his arms. "Lily?" he tried vainly.

Peter shook his head. "Parul." Sirius groaned. "You know this has been coming," Peter squeaked, sitting across from Sirius.

"We don't like her at all, Sirius," Remus said plainly.

"Well you haven't made _that_ apparent," Sirius said sarcastically.

"We can't stand to be around her another second and, quite frankly, we don't get how you can either," James said.

Sirius stood angrily. "What I don't get is why you guys don't like her."

"There are many reasons, but it would take far too long to go down the list," Remus said.

"We're not trying to tell you to break up with her or anything," Peter said.

"But just don't hang around her as much or tell her to tone down the affection," James said.

"And her laugh."

"And feeding you."

Remus held up his hand. "We're not getting into the list."

"Just please Sirius," James said. "We might stab her with a butter knife tomorrow, acceptance only goes so far."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "There is nothing wrong with the way she acts. And if you don't like it, then you can just not be around me when I'm with her."

"Can't you be a little understanding?" Peter asked.

Snorting, Sirius began walking away. "I understand perfectly," he said over his shoulder, walking up the boy's dormitory stairs. A moment later a door slammed.

Sighing, Remus sat down. "That didn't go as well as planned."

"We were a bit harsh," Peter said.

"Harsh?" James spat. "That's called truth, I don't know why he doesn't see that stupid pillock for what she is."

* * *

Author Notes: Real quick, I know you're not allowed to add lyrics, but I credited the artist and the song. I love music and every song has an untold story behind it. This one fit, as do many others (like Just the Girl by Click Five haha). Anyway, if someone reports this and this story gets removed, DON'T GIVE UP! My first story, Hogsmeade Kiss, was removed twice and the second time I only had seven or so chapters left. I was so mad and I always lose a bunch of readers because they thought I deleted it because FF usually won't let me post for two weeks or so and then I have to repost all the chapters, which takes a bit. So just in case this gets removed, please just hang tight and don't give up, it will be back up as soon as I am allowed.

Anywho, onto other news. I was very proud of myself for getting this chapter out in a quicker fashion than usual. I spent all of last weekend at the lake writing this in a notebook and I got through most of it and added a bunch of new scenes. The whole song section was a random scene I wrote a long time ago (during Hogsmeade Kiss) that inspired this whole story. I kept re-reading it and it seems like it doesn't quite fit, but I did the best I could with it (I'm the worst editor lol).

Just so you know, don't expect a new chapter out anytime before Deathly Hallows or shortly thereafter. For the next two weeks I have 8-hour days out in the sun for color guard in Missouri humidity (blah) and I will be exhausted when I get home. Then I'll be mourning after reading the book and it might take a while for me to get energy to write.

But you know how you can motivate me to get a chapter out fast? REVIEW!


	8. Dance naked & chant wildly around a fire

Summary: He thought she hated him. She thought she was just bragging rights. He kept missing his chances. She was running away scared. A story of love that follows Lily and James from 6th year until graduation. R/R!

Disclaimer: So no one sues me, I'm not JKR, I could never compare to JKR and you all know that. She is the almighty goddess of all things Harry Potter/magic. Her riches are not mine. Enjoy!

* * *

April…

"I have a detention with Slughorn, but it shouldn't take too long," Sirius said as he handed James the Marauders' Map which he had last used. "I'll just peek my head in the common room when it's time to go and you'll grab Peter, right?"

James nodded, grinning. "Yup. I know it's wrong, but I do enjoy Remus' furry little problem." Sirius grinned back in agreement and walked out of the dorm with a small wave. James finished stuffing the Marauders Map and his Invisibility cloak in his robes before heading down the common room to relax with a new edition of _Transfiguration Today_ for an hour.

Peter joined James soon after he had settled into his favorite chair by the fireplace; only Peter had brought a stack of Charms homework to busy himself for the next hour. Repeatedly James was forced to stop reading and advise Peter on what to write next and to demonstrate the proper charms for Peter to analyze.

"You know," said a voice behind James as he was trying to explain the properties of Cheering Charms and how they are common in other advanced spells, "I think you should look into tutoring."

Turning, James saw Lily standing behind his chair, her Potions book in her hand. James' hand twitched, it was trying to run itself through his hair, but James resisted the urge since Lily hated it. "What's up?" James said, grinning slightly.

"Well I was supposed to be tutoring someone in Charms," she nodded to Peter's open book and essay, "but he had something else to do I suppose. Rita and Aurelia are busy and I didn't want to be bored out of my mind, so I was wondering if you needed any extra help."

As usual whenever Lily was friendly, James' heart leapt. Would he ever get used to it? James didn't think so, but he pushed the euphoria down slightly to tell her apologetically, "Actually, I can't, sorry."

Lily bit her lip and surveyed him. "That's funny, because I checked with Gina and she said there's no Quidditch practice tonight and it doesn't look like you are doing anything that will have you committed for the rest of the evening."

Smirking, James said, "You sure went through a lot of trouble to see what my plans were for the night." Lily blushed and something that must've been victory sounded in James' body. "But I really am committed to something else for the evening, I'll have to leave for it soon."

"Do you mind me asking what?" Lily said, flinging her hair from her face and grinning.

"I really can't say, sorry."

Lily surveyed him once more, then brightened. "You don't have to leave yet, are you up for a small session?" James opened his mouth to spit out another excuse, he didn't even know why he kept trying to produce them, but none came to his mind. Lily saw his consternation and leaned over the back of the armchair, giving him puppy dog eyes.

It took a lot of willpower for James to not look down her shirt, which gaped open slightly. Instead James looked to Peter, who tried to give an encouraging smile that quickly turned into a leer. "Alright," James said, standing as Lily straightened. "There's a table open over there."

They sat and James Summoned his Potions book from his dorm, opened it and began looking for anything that he didn't understand. It took a very short amount of time to find something and Lily began to teach. But James only heard parts of what she said for his gaze flitted fitfully from Lily to the darkening sky outside to the common room entrance.

"James? James? James…" Lily repeated and finally James snapped his gaze from the grounds to her face. "Have you heard anything I've been trying to teach you?"

"Er," James began intelligently, "You were talking about the, er, properties of moonstone?"

"Ten minutes ago," Lily said, shutting her book. "If you didn't want to learn anything, why didn't you just say so?"

"It's not that, it's, well, I really want to tell you Lily but…" James searched his brain for some way to get around telling her why he was so distracted and where he was going. "Okay, you know how when I asked what was wrong with Aurelia and you said 'it's not my place to explain'?" Lily nodded slowly. "It's like that. It's not my place to explain, but it's something for a friend in need and I have to help him through tonight."

Lily glanced out the window the same way James had been doing all night and saw the outline of a full moon against the setting sun. _A friend in need…Remus?_ Lily thought to herself and instantly began wondering how in the world James Potter could help a werewolf without getting mauled. Of course James had no idea Lily knew about Remus and she didn't want anyone to know she knew. All Lily could do was accept his explanation with a nod. "That's very noble and sweet of you," Lily said simply. "When do you have to help this friend?"

James opened his mouth to explain he wasn't sure when the common room door opened and Sirius poked his head in. Peter immediately jumped up and James turned to Lily. "Now, apparently. I'm sorry if I wasted your time."

Lily shook her head. "No, its fine, good luck with your friend."

"How did it go?" Peter squeaked immediately after James exited the common room.

Shrugging, James said, "She was teaching, I wasn't paying attention, she got mad, I groveled…isn't that how it usually goes?" He reached in his robes and pulled out the Invisibility cloak, the Marauder's Map, and his wand. "_I solemnly swear I am up to no good_," James whispered as Sirius took the cloak and shook it open with a flourish. James searched for a moment and said, "Okay, no one is around…go around that corner, Pete, and transform."

It had been a long time since all of them could fit under the cloak without their feet being seen and usually Peter had to transform whenever it was used as he could be held by one of the Marauders. Sirius threw the cloak over James and himself just as Wormtail scampered around the corner and squeaked in fear as a hand appeared out of no where to grab him. Then the Marauders set off on their monthly adventure, excitement and anticipation high beneath the cloak.

* * *

_Yes,_ thought Snape greedily as he looked through his telescope, not at the sky, but focusing on the grounds. _This is it; I will finally catch them in the act_. He shifted himself carefully as he was perched on the edge of the Astronomy tower and played with the focus on his telescope. Looking through the lens again, Snape saw Madam Pomfrey striding out of the Whomping Willow secret entrance. Any second Snape would see Potter and his little friends go in after what he knew to be Lupin the werewolf. And then, Snape would finally turn them in and they would have to be expelled – the Whomping Willow was off limits.

Snape had figured it out at the beginning of the school year – he saw Madam Pomfrey escorting Lupin into some secret tunnel, the same way she did tonight. Snape was bewildered, but he stayed awake all night to see Lupin emerge: that didn't happen until early the next morning. Lupin was not in classes the entire day and when Snape snuck into the hospital wing to see if he was there, he finally connected two and two and realized Lupin was a werewolf.

It wasn't until one day a couple months ago that Snape realized Potter, Black, and Pettigrew were somehow visiting Lupin during the full moon. They were making plans in Potions instead of working, talking about the date of the full moon and using code words like "furry little problem".

Snape watched two more full moon antics and, on the second one, he heard voices arguing and a rat scurrying around the tree trunk, disappearing in the secret tunnel a moment later. The voices died as the tunnel closed. Snape knew it had to be Lupin's pals even if he hadn't seen them and planned on confronting and threatening one of them about it.

Sirius Black was the first one to cross his path as he walked to Charms a couple days later, shockingly alone and Snape wondered vaguely where his friends and his loud girlfriend were. Black put on his usual arrogant smirk, but before he could draw his wand Snape said in a carrying whisper, "I know what you and you're little friends do every full moon."

Black's pupils had dilated just so slightly with fear. Quickly he covered up by snorting and crossing his arms over his chest. "What, dance naked and chant wildly around a bonfire? Damn, Snivellus, we didn't want anyone to find out."

"You know perfectly well what I'm talking about," Snape hissed under his breath. "Lupin's a werewolf and you, Potter, and Pettigrew somehow get to him under the Whomping Willow. Why Lupin's even allowed in school and how you haven't got clawed to death I don't know, but I can promise as soon as I have enough proof I will go to Dumbledore and make sure you three are expelled for your stupidity – and all this will happen just because you wanted to feel audacious and brave."

Silence rang for a few moments between them as Black analyzed Snape – he could practically hear Black's mind whirring for some way to get out of his accusations. Finally, Black clapped his hands together. "Well done, Snivelly, you figured it out. We are just really thick and love to be around a werewolf for that adventure high. You wanna know what we're up to?" Black advanced on Snape, yet Snape stood his ground. "Prod the knot on the Whomping Willow, you nosy git, and you'll get what you deserve."

Black had stalked off, leaving Snape with the slightest shred of doubt whether or not he should investigate. But after a month of thinking it over, he decided that he _had_ to know what they were getting up to and if any illegal magic was involved to get near a werewolf.

Snape looked through his telescope again and his heart leapt. A barely visible rat in the fading daylight scurried to the trunk of the great tree, skirting its whipping branches. A moment later the angry tree lay still and the rat had disappeared. Snape knew Potter's friends had to be somewhere near the tree or inside of it, it was quite possible rich little Potter had his own Invisibility cloak.

Sneering, Snape packed away his telescope and placed it in a pocket of his robes. Now was the time; Snape wanted to get down there before the moon appeared. Bold as he was currently being, Snape was _not_ an idiot and had no desire to meet a werewolf tonight.

Snape hurried through the castle, counting himself lucky that Filch, Peeves, or any other teacher had not blocked his path. He reached the Whomping Willow and levitated a stick to knot. The branches froze and Snape walked timidly through them, reaching a small tunnel at the base of the tree. He climbed in, hunched almost double as he made his way along the long winding tunnel. Trepidation built within him with each step he took. Lupin's friends had to be somewhere near by and Snape had no idea if the moon had shown itself in the sky yet.

Soon the tunnel began sloping upward and Snape heard two voices talking. Snape walked slower and stopped as soon as he saw Sirius and James outside a partially open door. "…just be on the lookout, alright?" Sirius was saying to an angry James.

"What the _hell_ were you thinking, telling Snape how to get in here?" James hissed, pushing Sirius' shoulder slightly.

Sirius frowned and his eyebrows furrowed. "You should've heard the way he was threatening me. Anyway, he's a Slytherin; he's too cowardly to come. Only take care of themselves and if there's anything dangerous they keep their nose clean."

James snorted. "But Snape hates us, he is determined to find a way to expel us and you just handed him the tray filled with all of our secrets. If he finds out – "

"He _won't_ because he's too gutless and _won't_ come," Sirius insisted. "And even if he did come and Remus got hold of him, who cares? It would finish him off and he would stop following us around." James opened his mouth to scold Sirius for lack of tact, but Sirius interrupted. "I'm going inside with Wormtail and Moony, do whatever you want, but Remus needs you." And with that, Sirius edged his way through the door and shut it with a slam behind him. From the brief glimpse of the room beyond and how long the tunnel was as well as which direction it curved, Snape figured the Shrieking Shack was the end of the tunnel.

James ran a hand through his hair angrily and let out a sigh of pent up frustration. He paced in front of the door for a moment, looked to the door and then down the tunnel where Snape immediately ducked out of sight. James sighed again and took out a piece of parchment, muttering something while pointing his wand at it. He looked through the folds of the map and then muttered something else, next putting the parchment away. "Where is he?" James grumbled. He began walking away from the door and Snape walked backwards quickly, still hunched over.

But before James was anywhere close to reaching where Snape was, a great moan of pain echoed through the hall, along with snarls and growls. Terrified squeaks followed and deep barks reverberated against the walls. James paused in mid step and turned towards the door, leaning towards it. "I have to make sure no one finds out," he told himself and began walking down the tunnel path.

Snape stopped backing away and stood up against a darkened portion of wall. When James passed in front of him, Snape whipped his wand out of his robes and pointed it to the back of James neck. "Don't move!" Snape hissed as James froze. "Turn around and put your hands up!" James did as he was told, scowling as he faced Snape. "Now, Potter, I want to know what you are trying to keep from me."

James' scowl grew with more dislike as he looked at Snape. "Listen, Snape, Remus is a werewolf, which I know you know. He is transforming right now and unless you want us both to get mangled to death, I suggest we leave now."

"But how do you spend every full moon with Lupin without getting attacked? How do you get in here without being seen? My guess is your very own private Invisibility cloak, with how rich your pathetic family is – "

"Don't talk about my family!" James yelled, interrupting Snape's interrogation and insults. Realizing that arguing would not convince Snape to leave, James took a steadying breath and said, "Look, I'll discuss it with you _rationally_ once we get out of here and once I'm not at wand point. I don't know if Remus will stay in the Shrieking Shack, he might come down the tunnel."

Sneering, Snape said, "The only way I will leave this tunnel is if you go straight to Dumbledore and confess to any illegal acts you may be committing."

An anguished howl filled the space around them and Snape looked up the tunnel. James took advantage of the distraction and yanked the wand from Snape's grasp, pulling out his own and pointing them both at Snape. "Now, we're going to do this my way," James said, "get up that tunnel or feel a pain like you've never experienced before. Go."

Snape tried to hastily think of way out of the situation. He could try to physically wrestle the wands out of James' hands, but Snape knew that James was much stronger than he, even if he hated to admit it. He could make a run up the tunnel toward the Shrieking Shack and find out for himself what's going on, but James would most likely hit him with some sort of jinx.

The moment after this thought passed through his mind, Snape saw a mane of brown crash through the door that led into the Shrieking Shack and a snarl later Snape settled on the regrettable fact he had no choice but to obey or else he would join Lupin for his time of the month. Snape led the way out of the tunnel, James no more than two steps behind him with two raised arms holding wands at his back.

They ran as fast as they could and Snape heard the thundering of paws behind him. Chancing a look over his shoulder, Snape saw the werewolf, saliva dripping from his mouth and snout. A second later something large and black darted in front of the werewolf, pushing it back so Snape and James could escape to safety.

Once they emerged, James muttered quickly and quietly under his breath and the tunnel sealed. Next he prodded the knot on the tree so the branches wouldn't attack them. They moved out of range of the possibility of rampaging twigs and James, panting, threw Snape his wand. "What…gasp…was…gasp…_that_?" Snape wheezed, hands on his knees.

Holding a hand to his chest, James said incredulously to Snape, "A werewolf."

Glaring, Snape replied, "Not that, the black thing that stopped it."

James took a few more deep breaths then cleared his throat, eyes darting away from Snape to the full moon in the sky. "N-no idea."

"Are you two alright?" a voice said behind the boys. Both turned, wands raised, but lowered them instantly and shamefacedly as Albus Dumbledore strode toward them. They nodded and Dumbledore analyzed them over his half moon spectacles. "Good, very good. Would you mind – "

But before he could finish his sentence, Sirius ran towards them, huffing. "That was bloody hard, James. You sealed the tunnel very well…Remus was about to break through the barrier I put up. Wor – " Sirius stopped talking immediately as he realized Dumbledore was standing in front of him.

"Did you re-seal it?" Dumbledore asked.

"Er – yeah," Sirius said, stowing his wand in his robes to give his awkwardly limp arms a task.

"Good. As I was saying before, would you mind accompanying me to my office?" Dumbledore asked kindly, but James and Sirius shared anxious looks. All three nodded and followed Dumbledore in an uncomfortable silent walk across the lawns and through the castle.

"Let us begin," Dumbledore stated once they all had found a seat. "Why were you three trying to go to the Shrieking Shack tonight? I assume you know that Mr. Lupin is a werewolf…"

Snape spoke first. "Well, sir, I saw Lupin go out with Madame Pomfrey to the Whomping Willow at the beginning of the school year and the next day I put it together. A few months ago I heard Potter, Black, Lupin, and Pettigrew talking about the full moon and, from the conversation, it sounded like Lupin's friends were planning on going with him into the Willow. I started watching the next few full moons and heard disembodied voices arguing loudly one month and it sounded like Potter and Black. Tonight I decided to investigate to see if they were involved in anything illegal that could be potentially harmful to themselves or other students of the school."

James and Sirius shared looks of disgust. Snape's voice was just as greasy as his hair and both boys hoped Dumbledore saw through the fake display of concern Snape was putting on.

"Once I got down there," Snape continued, "I saw Potter and Black arguing. Then Black went inside a door and Potter spotted me and attacked me – "

There were cries of injustice coming from James and Sirius. Dumbledore held up a hand to silence them and said, "If you have any disagreement with what Mr. Snape is saying, then you will have your turn to discuss it. For now, just let him talk."

Snape simpered and continued his tale. "As I was saying, Potter attacked me, but before he could hurt me Lupin, as a werewolf, came charging towards us. We barely escaped and you know the rest."

Dumbledore nodded. "Thank you Mr. Snape, although I find it quite hard to believe that you went down there in concern for the safety of your peers, especially such loathed enemies like James and Sirius." He then turned away from Snape's glower to James and Sirius. "So, what did you not agree with?"

Scoffing, Sirius started. "First off, a couple days after the last full moon, Snape confronted me and threatened me, wanting me to confess that I was committing horrible crimes against humanity or something."

"And I didn't attack him," James added. "I was walking down the tunnel to head him off and he pointed a wand to my face and threatened me the same way he threatened Sirius. Remus howled and Snape was distracted, so I took his wand and tried to get him out of the tunnel before Remus could break through."

"How did you know that Mr. Snape was going to be there?" Dumbledore asked.

Sirius and James shared another look. "Er, well, I told him how to get in so he would get off my case," Sirius said.

Dumbledore's eyes widened slightly. "Really? You wanted Mr. Snape to investigate into whatever you were doing?"

"No, I didn't think he would come…" Sirius replied in a low voice.

"Ah, but you were mistaken. Mr. Snape's dislike for you would be sure to give him enough determination to face a werewolf just to find something that could get you both sent home," Dumbledore said wisely. "Why were you in the tunnel?"

A half true lie formed in James' mind and he spoke quickly. "We always go down there to make sure he doesn't get out."

Dumbledore smiled serenely. "But Madame Pomfrey's enchantments should be sufficient, they've worked for years in retaining Mr. Lupin."

James shrugged. "Just to be sure, you know. We worry about him."

"Very thoughtful. Where is Mr. Pettigrew?"

"Dunno," Sirius said, joining in the lie James had created. "Sleeping? He didn't want to come tonight."

Gazing into the troublemaker's eyes, Dumbledore asked suspiciously, "Is there anything else you wish to tell me?"

Sirius broke eye contact immediately and looked at his feet so that if his eyes gave it away, Dumbledore would not know. All James could think about was Moony, in the Shack alone, going through his monthly torture. There was no way they could get back down there tonight. "No, sir."

"Very well," Dumbledore said after a moment. "Mr. Black, fifty points will be taken from Gryffindor for leading another student into a life-threatening situation and you will have two detentions with Mr. Filch. Mr. Potter, you will also have two detentions, but 10 points will be awarded to Gryffindor for your small bout of heroism and care for your foe's well being. Mr. Snape, I think the fact that Mr. Potter saved your life and that you know owe him will be enough punishment for you." He paused, looking at the three adolescents. "That is all, goodnight."

"Care for your enemies well being?" James said a few minutes later when Sirius and himself were almost to the portrait. "I just didn't want him to find out about Padfoot, Wormtail and Prongs."

Sirius grinned. "I know, mate. I hate it when he looks at you like that, though, I feel like he can read our minds or something."

"Yeah," James agreed. "_Hellebore_."

The Fat Lady swung open on her hinges and James and Sirius' ears were filled with giggling once they entered. Lily, Rita, and Aurelia were sitting on the sofa by the fire, alone in the common room at nearly midnight. "Hello ladies!" Sirius said jubilantly and pranced over to them, James following. "Why are you three still awake? Isn't it past your bedtime?"

Lily and Aurelia rolled their eyes but Rita looked away from Sirius and into the fire. James wondered how she was doing – they hadn't talked since James had confronted her about Sirius after Quidditch practice the previous month. "Well, Calypso is sobbing really loudly up there," Aurelia said, "and it was really hard to get some sleep or talk or anything, so we came down here."

"Is she alright?" James asked and Lily's eyes narrowed slightly.

"She's fine," Lily said coolly. "It's just her current boyfriend didn't wish her sweet dreams before they parted." Lily didn't like James' concern for Calypso Pepin, her dorm mate who she rarely hung out with outside of classes and before bed because she was friends with a bunch of Ravenclaws. James and Calypso went out briefly the previous year and his anxiety over her drama made Lily jealous, although she didn't realize it was that particular emotion she was feeling.

With mock concern, Sirius held a hand to his heart and said, "Oh no! Is she, like, totally going to be all right?"

He grinned at Rita, who looked at him briefly. She gave a weak smile and instead averted her eyes to James. "We saw Remus go down the hospital wing after dinner. He looked sick, is he alright?" she asked, more directly to James than Sirius.

Sirius seemed to notice her snubbing him and stepped in front of James into her gaze. "He's fine. I think he ate something funny."

"Where have you two been tonight?" Aurelia asked, noticing the way Rita and Sirius were behaving and trying to divert their attention away from each other, even if she wanted to hear more about Remus' condition.

"Er," James said, looking at Sirius, "We, um, were out."

Rita quirked an eyebrow. "Out doing what?"

"Ah, it's a Marauder mystery and we don't want to spoil the good fun," Sirius said. Rita rolled her eyes and flipped open the _Evening Prophet_ that was beside her. Upset that Rita was still blowing him off, Sirius plopped down next to her and said, "Anything interesting in there?"

"Oh, I don't know," Rita said sarcastically, "Would you consider this new Dark Wizard Voldemort slaughtering seven families earlier _interesting_?"

"What?" James asked, squishing himself in the small space between Lily and Rita and looking over her shoulder and the article with the headline: _SEVEN FAMILIES MURDERED IN THEIR HOMES, AURORS LOOKING FOR VOLDEMORT_.

Lily started pushing James away with her body in order to get more room on the couch. "Yeah, three of them had muggleborn kids that went here. Didn't you see the big scene a few hours ago?"

"No," James and Sirius said together, still scanning the article.

"It was Nathaniel and Neal Orman, Rachel Abbott, and Geri Duncan's families. Rachel started screaming and crying, it was her mum and dad that were killed. You didn't hear it? All four houses came out of their common rooms…" Aurelia said trailing off as James and Sirius shook their heads.

"Where _were_ you two tonight?" Rita asked skeptically.

James and Sirius jumped up at the same time. "Well, that's awful, but I'm really tired, are you James?"

Nodding, James said, "Yeah, I am," and, as if it would be more convincing, yawned widely. "We're off to bed. Good luck getting sleep tonight, ladies."

"Thanks," all three girls said dryly, all curious about where Sirius and James were tonight and why they were trying so hard to keep it secret.

"I better tell you sweet dreams also so you don't go howling your brains out," Sirius said jokingly, waving and trotted up the boy's dormitory stairs.

Before James followed, he squeezed Rita's shoulder comfortingly. "Sorry about him, you still doing okay?" he asked. Rita nodded. "Okay, if you want to talk just tell me, alright?"

Smiling, Rita said, "Thanks, James." James smiled back at her, threw one last somewhat longing look at Lily, then headed upstairs after Sirius.

"What do you think they were doing?" Rita said once they were out of sight, throwing the _Evening Prophet_ bitterly into the fire.

"No clue," Lily replied, but didn't want to continue this conversation. Even though she was extremely curious to what they were up to, she already accepted James' excuse earlier.

Sighing, Aurelia said, "I hope Remus is all right, maybe I'll go visit him tomorrow in the hospital wing."

"I really think you should," Rita said. "If you like him so much you need to talk to him more."

Aurelia nodded. "I will…I wonder if I should bring him anything. I hope he's all right," she repeated.

"I'm sure he is," Lily said comfortingly, but she thought he was probably the furthest thing from okay as she looked at the full moon shining outside the window.

* * *

Author Notes: THIS STORY WILL REMAIN _DEATHLY HALLOWS_ SPOILER FREE!!! But I just have one word about the new book...EEP!!

Ok, moving on. I really procrastinated in writing this chapter. I tried to start the Sunday on what I dubbed Harry Potter weekend but my mind was too focused on the book so I read it again. Then I came up with a bunch of new story ideas based on information from the new book and started planning a bunch of other stuff. Then I decided to upload my favorite Harry Potter fan art and icons onto a new Photobucket page and it's about a quarter of all the HP pictures I have. My friend loaned me the _Deathly Hallows_ audio book and I listened to that while uploading the pictures and then I played a combination of Snood, solitaire, and Live Search games while listening to the rest of the book. Here's the link if you wish to view my procrastination in action (there are really cute and cool pics on there and, don't worry, no _Deathly Hallows_ fan art, although I found a bunch of good ones): http colon slash slash s181 dot photobucket dot com slash albums slash x151 slash LJS4everandAlways2 slash

Anywho, this chapter sucked for me because it was the dreaded chapter where I have to write the "heroic" Whomping Willow scene. In my other story I had Dumbledore finding out about James, Sirius, and Peter being Anamagus and then I realized later that if Dumbledore had known, he would've been on the look out for a black dog in the third book along with Snape. I had to keep re-writing this because there was too many clues that would make Snape and Dumbledore realize that they were Anamaguses.

No clue when the next chapter will be out. My senior year at high school is fast approaching ((sniffle)) and I have to get ready for it. A plus - I'm putting a study hall in my schedule so I will have to time to write more at school instead of doing homework! But the next chapter is getting into a lot of darkness and angsty romance, so I'm excited and it will give me more motivation to get chapters updated. Send me a PM if you wish to discuss _Deathly Hallows_!


	9. Why the hell were you with Snape?

Summary: He thought she hated him. She thought she was just bragging rights. He kept missing his chances. She was running away scared. A story of love that follows Lily and James from 6th year until graduation. R/R!

Disclaimer: So no one sues me, I'm not JKR, I could never compare to JKR and you all know that. She is the almighty goddess of all things Harry Potter/magic. Her riches are not mine. Enjoy!

**Song Credit: "I'll See it Through" by Texas and "Good Enough" by Evanescence. **

* * *

James froze in mid-step, fury the reason why his muscles could no longer function properly – all they could do was tighten in rage. A few people still lingering late in the library were staring at him, but James didn't care. All he cared about was why Lily was sitting with Severus Snape.

They were in the darkest corner of the library where the smallest two-person tables were. _Those are my tricks_, James thought as his body shook. Snape was leaning in as close as he could, pointing at something in Lily's book. Lily smiled reassuringly and began explaining whatever he had asked. James stood at the library entrance, not knowing how long he silently watched the girl he wanted and the bloke he hated smiling at each other, talking, laughing…

Eventually Snape packed his things away and stood, shaking her hand in thanks. Lily smiled and Snape walked towards the doors, slowing as he passed James. "Potter…" he muttered disdainfully, but James didn't respond. He couldn't even look at Snape – he kept his eyes on Lily.

When Snape finally left the library, whatever was binding him to the spot released him and James stumbled a little his first few steps towards Lily. She smiled the same smile she had given to Snape moments before as James approached, but the smile faltered with the look on James' face. "Is something wrong?" Lily asked as James slammed his books on the table, receiving a "Shhh!" from Madam Pince.

"Yeah," James replied, still standing. "Why the _hell_ were you with Snape?"

Lily looked surprised with his comment and tried to hold back her laughter. James was _jealous_. "A couple weeks ago he asked for my help in Charms. Don't worry, though, I don't tutor him as much as I tutor you," Lily joked.

James ran an angry hand through his hair. "What about him calling you names?"

Shrugging, Lily said, "He apologized sincerely and promised to never do it again."

"I think he fancies you," James said irately as if it helped his case.

"Doubt it," Lily said coolly. "And even if he did, so what? I don't like him like that."

"But he's a Slytherin!" James whined.

Glaring slightly, Lily said, "Slytherins aren't all bad, you need to lose your house prejudices. Now sit so we can get started."

Still upset, James sat down heavily and opened a book at random. The anger and tension disappeared from the air quickly and a comfortable silence passed between them, which was only interrupted when James asked a question.

"What's wrong?" James asked. For the past twenty minutes Lily had been shifting around in her seat and had just let out an aggravated sigh.

Shaking her head and shifting more, Lily said, "Noth – well, my legs are cramping a little. Do you mind if I stretch them out?"

"Er," James began, but a second later Lily had extended her legs under the small table and rested them on James' lap.

Lily exhaled. "Much better. Thanks."

James' heart rate quickened and, feeling completely stupid for blushing, he wrapped his right under her ankles and adjusted her legs more comfortably on his lap. Lily shot him a small grin and kept writing; James didn't bother to move his hand from the soft skin.

Of course whenever James was in contact with Lily, he began to lose his head. Without really noticing he was doing it, James began slowly stroking Lily's leg, his hand traveling from the skin just above her socks to the underside of her thigh just past her knee.

Just a moment ago Lily's mind was muddled by James' touch that she had been repeatedly writing one word over and over on what was supposed to be her Ancient Runes translations, but now James was charting into dangerous territory and Lily's mind began working again with sudden, sharp clarity. "What are you doing?" Lily asked with a slight, dodgy yet inquisitive smile.

"Hmm?" James asked, looking up from his Potions homework. Then he looked down and seemed to realize what his hand was doing. James yanked it off quickly and stuttered apologetically, "I-I don't know."

Suddenly annoyed, Lily closed her book and gathered her parchment. "I can't believe it. I give you an inch and you took a mile. That's not how it works, James." She stood and began walking away rapidly.

"Shit!" James muttered, not bothering to grab his stuff. "Damnit, Lily!" Even though James was no Seer, he could see himself begging for forgiveness in the future. He quickly caught up to her, grabbed her arm and pulled her into an unoccupied aisle of books.

"Would you mind letting me go?" Lily asked coldly. "I think you've touched me enough for one day."

James obliged and readied himself in case she tried to run, but Lily stayed put. "I know I'm a jerk and I'm sorry for what I did. But, it's just…whenever I'm near you, like really close to you, I just lose myself and I don't think."

He said the last portion in a rush – he had never been so serious with his feelings in front of Lily. James looked nervously away from her, waiting for the crushing let down. But James felt a small, warm hand grasp his chin and turn his face. His eyes met Lily's emerald ones and she smiled beautifully. "That's really sweet," she muttered, moving her hand down to his chest. "And I overreacted, _I'm_ sorry. I – " She took a steadying breath as James moved closer, pinning her slightly against the book case. "I seem to lose my head, just as much as you."

There was a foot of electric space between them. James placed his hands on Lily's waist. He bent his head close to her, their foreheads bumping against each other. "I really, really doubt you get as insane as I do."

Their nose tips touched and James barely heard Professor McGonagall's voice reverberated around the quiet library. But they broke apart immediately when McGonagall said impatiently, "…Lily Evans, I need to find her immediately. Her friends told me she was here – "

"Yes, Minerva," Madam Pince said, "I believe I saw her go down the 'H' authors aisle."

James and Lily jumped apart as if electrocuted and acted like they were searching for a book. James was seriously considering blasting McGonagall back, even if she was his favorite teacher of his favorite subject. He was _so close_ with Lily, _so close_ to kissing her.

"Oh, Miss Evans," McGonagall said, huffing and holding a hand to her heart. "You must come with me, I'm so sorry dear, it's your parents."

James saw Lily's body tense up. "Wh-what about them?" Lily asked, struggling to get the words out.

"They're, they're sick. Very sick. They only have a few hours to live."

Lily's body immediately began to crumple to the floor, but James rushed forward in half a second and caught Lily, lifting her to a somewhat upright position. "Where does she need to go?" James asked McGonagall.

"To the headmaster's office. Can you walk, dear?" McGonagall asked kindly, putting a hand to her arm.

Lily opened and closed her mouth silently for a few moments, then finally shook her head. "I've got you, okay? I've got you." And then, because it seemed like the natural thing to do, James kissed the back of her head.

McGonagall's eyes widened just slightly, then she beckoned James and Lily to follow her. A few moments later James and Lily were standing in front of Dumbledore, who immediately walked over to Lily. "Thank you for your assistance Minerva," Dumbledore said, then put an arm around Lily, who looked like she was still in disbelief and shock. "Now, Lily, you're going to St. Thomas' Hospital, alright? A doctor who is familiar with our kind will be waiting and will fill you in on everything. My deepest sympathies are with you."

Dumbledore threw Floo powder into the fireplace and the flames turned as emerald green as Lily's eyes. Lily gave a stunned look to James, who half smiled sympathetically. Turning towards the fire, Lily stepped in, saying hollowly, "St. Thomas' Hospital."

In a whir of green she left Dumbledore's office and found herself in a basement. A man in a white coat and light blue pants was waiting for her. "Are you Lily Evans?" She nodded. "If you will follow me, I have a lot to explain.

"Your mother worked in a hospice," the doctor began as the made their way through winding hospital halls and Lily noted the doctor was using past tense to describe her mother. "Around November, she contracted a deadly virus from one of her patients. Before Christmas she came for a check up and we found something eating away her heart and lungs. We couldn't figure out what it was. I told her she only had a few months to live."

Lily stopped walking and it took a moment for the doctor to realize she was not beside him. "You mean she knew she was going to die at Christmas and she didn't tell me?"

"That was her personal decision, I can't help you there," the doctor replied, then grabbed her arm gently to keep her moving forward. "Last month she became bedridden and could no longer go to work. Before she quit, she contracted another illness – smallpox, v-major, the deadlier kind.

"Since she had no vaccination and her immune system was already weak, the smallpox acted as epinephrine towards death. Your father began taking care of her and he contracted smallpox. He also did not have a vaccine and didn't realize at first what was wrong until it was too late."

"But – " Lily began, but was interrupted as a nurse rushed over to the doctor she was with.

"Dr. Corvay," the nurse said breathlessly, "it's Mrs. Jennifer Evans, she's gone into shock."

Dr. Corvay run down the hall and Lily followed, just about to turn into the room the doctor had gone into when the nurse stopped her. "I'm sorry honey, you're not allowed in there."

"Why?" Lily cried, trying to look around the nurse into the room whose door was slowly closing. "I'm her daughter!

The nurse looked affronted. "Because she's highly contagious and she's in shock. Doctors and nurses only, dear. Why don't you just go wait with your sister?"

"My sister?" Lily asked, dazed. The nurse pointed around the corner and Lily saw Petunia sitting with a very large, beefy man, dabbing at her eyes with a handkerchief.

Petunia saw Lily approaching quickly and glared at her. "You took your time getting here!" shrieked Petunia. "I've been helping take care of mum for months and you've been off gallivanting at your freak school!"

Eyes filling with tears, Lily turned away from Petunia and realized there was a small window in the door she was not allowed to pass. She dragged a waiting chair to it and stood, looking into the room. Her mother was hidden behind a group of doctors, but soon one ran to get something from across the room and Lily had a view of her mother's midsection and right arm. She looked like she was having a seizure. "Mum!" Lily cried, though she knew her mother couldn't hear her.

But Lily heard the high, long electronic beep and saw her mother lie still and the doctor's hurry come to a complete halt. One woman began writing on a clipboard while another pulled the sheet over her mother's head.

"Petunia!" Lily cried, falling from the chair she was standing on to the floor. "She-she's gone!"

There was a shriek and bawling from Petunia and Lily buried her face in her hands as tears poured out of her eyes. Dr. Corvay came out a moment later, moving the chair aside curiously. "I'm sorry, girls, but your mother has just passed."

Petunia wailed louder, but Lily looked up, tears still pouring out of her eyes. "I want to see my father," she said resolutely.

Dr. Corvay nodded and helped Lily up. Petunia seemed to be lost in a world of her own and didn't even bother to follow.

Of course, Petunia had had time to say goodbye. No one had bothered to write to Lily and tell her what was going on. "They haven't sent me a letter in months," Lily said quietly.

Dr. Corvay pat her shoulder reassuringly. "You understand you won't be able to go in the same room as your father, correct?"

Lily gave a noncommittal twitch of her head. What felt like a second later Lily was standing just outside her father's room. His door had a much bigger window. Her father lay semi-conscious in bed, his face covered in what looked like hundreds of pimples. His heart monitor was barely beeping and irregularly. "Can't you do anything for him?" Lily sobbed, pressing her hand to the glass.

"No," Dr. Corvay said, "He has a matter of minutes."

Removing her hand from the window, Lily placed it over her mouth and sobbed harder. "I love you, daddy," she choked out just as the heart monitor gave one last long beep.

* * *

"I'm not living with her!" both girls said at the same time and Lily and Petunia looked at each other in disgust. The lawyer who drew up their parents' last will and testament lowered the paper he was reading from and cleared his throat.

"I'll be of age in two months," Lily said. "I can live with someone else, I am not going with her anywhere."

Sighing, the lawyer said, "We'll have to find and discuss other options. Moving on…"

An hour later the will reading had concluded and Petunia pushed Lily out of the way as she walked out of the kitchen and, a moment later, the front door slammed. Her parent's house had been fully sanitized and it was where the wake would be held tomorrow before the funeral. Then the house would be sold and the girls would split the money for it.

Lily went to the living room and watched the fireplace, not really feeling anything at all, which concerned her. Grief had raked her body the night her parent's died, but when she woke up on a hospital bench the next morning, she was just…numb. Numb, yes, that was the right word for it.

Lily's fireplace lit up green and Aurelia came spinning out of it, clutching two smaller bags filled with enough clothes for Lily and Aurelia. With a small squeal, Aurelia dropped the bags and rushed towards Lily, throwing her arms around her in a tight embrace. "I'm so sorry, Lily. James was the first one to tell us about it, me and Rita were with Remus and Sirius when he walked in. Then Dumbledore came up to me the next day and asked if I wanted to come stay with you for the next few days until you had to go back. Mum and dad are coming tomorrow and they offered to have you stay with us as long as you needed."

Aurelia's words came out hurriedly, but Lily caught every word and smiled gratefully. "Thanks, my parents expected me to live with Petunia. I'll have to talk to the lawyer, but I would love to stay with you."

"Oh, they are calling him now," Aurelia said, giving Lily another squeeze. "They're going to take us and all your stuff home after tomorrow, is that okay?" Lily nodded. Hers and Aurelia's parents really got to know each other through their daughters and Lily knew that Lily living with Aurelia would've been their second choice for a home. Unfortunately they were never close to Rita's parents because they were reclusive and rarely let their daughter visit Lily over breaks. "Do you need to talk about anything?"

Shaking her head and managing a smile, Lily replied. "No, not just yet. I rather hear what's going on at school…I've been gone for three days and I feel like I've missed a lot."

"Well, James has just been going crazy with worry about you," Aurelia said, taking a seat on the couch. "We had to take him to Madam Pomfrey one day to get him to take a Calming Potion."

Lily smiled and, for some odd reason, felt tears well up in her eyes. She shook them off swiftly and said, "That's sweet, but what about you and Remus? And Rita and Sirius? You all were being quite friendly with each other before I left."

Aurelia blushed slightly. "We've been hanging out a lot and talking. I think you could consider me and Remus friends now and I'm just waiting for a right moment to ask him out."

Grinning, Lily said, "Oh Aurelia, that's wonderful. Finally!"

Aurelia laughed. "Yeah, finally. And Rita finally got out of her depression. She told me the other night that she is going to make him wish he were going out with her instead of Fay. Remember how they were flirting before?" Lily nodded. "It's twice as bad, but Sirius is starting to get smitten with her."

Lily laughed and the two girls shared random bits of gossip for the remainder of the evening and Lily was glad for it, for it kept her numbness about her parent's deaths at bay. There were only two things she wished: that Rita was with them also, joking and teasing, and that James Potter would hold her and kiss her head like he did in the library and make everything alright.

* * *

"Bloody hell mate, why haven't you talked to her?" Sirius asked, passing a medium sized ball he had conjured to James. "It's been a week and you've just avoided her."

James caught it and flopped back on his pillows, looking at the star strewn sky out his window. "I want to give her space, that's all." He passed the ball to Peter.

"But why?" Peter squeaked, nearly toppling off his bed in fear of the ball that had just zoomed towards him. "I think she would want you near…weren't you guys close to kissing before McGonagall came in?"

Peter passed the ball to Remus, who caught it skillfully with one hand, spinning it silently while James explained, "Yeah, but I think when she's grief stricken she might be really emotional and would get mad at me if I try even the most innocent ways of comforting her."

"Or you might get carried away with how you comfort her," Remus put in wisely, passing the ball to Sirius.

"Here mate," Sirius said, putting the ball down and reaching into the drawers that belonged to his nightstand. He pulled out the Marauders Map and tossed it along with the ball to James. "Find her and go talk to her. Rita's been telling me that Lily wonders aloud about you."

With Sirius' motivational comment, James said, "_I solemnly swear I am up to no good._" Ink lines began crisscrossing across the paper and James waited impatiently for them to finish drawing the school and grounds. It had taken most of James' will power to _not_ go after Lily the moment she got back, but James reasoned she was probably sick of people asking if she was all right. The map finished drawing itself and James lazily tossed the ball to Peter without looking, resulting in Peter winding up sprawled on the floor.

"Weird…" James muttered when he finally found Lily's name. "She's on top of the Astronomy tower."

"Go on, what're waiting for?" Sirius asked. "After the way you acted mental about her while she was gone - "

But James had already left before Sirius could finish his sentence. He wrapped the Invisibility cloak around him and looked at the Map again to make sure she hadn't moved. Lily's name remained motionless in the same spot.

_I wonder what it would be like to fly…_Lily thought to herself, standing perfectly balanced, unaware James was coming after her. _Really fly, not with a broom or animal to support you, but really fly with just yourself._

She opened her eyes and looked down at the grounds from her extremely high view. Lily used to be terrified of heights, but since her parent's death, a lot of things she used to be terrified of simply dissolved away. Like heights, which was why Lily was standing on the ledge of the Astronomy Tower. _One false move and I'm dead_, she thought, but it didn't faze her that much. She knew she wouldn't fall; she was in control of the situation. Lily had not been in control of her parent's deaths, but this she could control.

"Lily!" said a loud voice behind her, but Lily didn't jump, didn't even look behind her for if she did she would no longer be in control of the situation. "What are you doing? Get down from there!"

James rushed to her side but didn't want to touch her in case it made her fall. She was an impressive figure, standing with her feet together on the ledge, her arms level with her shoulders and her head tilted upwards. "You know James," Lily said quietly, "My mother used to make up bedtime stories about flying. She made up one about me flying to the stars and soaring around the sun." She laughed, a young girlish laugh. "And my father, he always lifted me high into the air and spun me around and around and around. It was the closest I could come to flying so freely." She sighed, dropping her arms, wobbling slightly. "I miss them."

"Come down, please," James said quietly and, still without looking at him, she held out a hand. He took it and helped her down carefully, breathing a sigh of relief once she was safely on the ground. Lily didn't let go of his hand as she looked at the sky above her.

_When you touch me_  
_I feel there's nothing you can do to turn me away  
__And I know that__In the past you've had bad luck so I should help you stay_

"I wonder if they miss me too," Lily whispered, wrapping her free arm around her stomach.

"Of course they do," James said simply, squeezing her hand. He needed her to look at him.

_You're all I've ever wanted_  
_You're all I've ever needed, it's you  
__You're all I've ever wanted  
__And loving you's the right thing to do  
__And I'll see it through_

Lily's eyes started filling with tears. "I haven't slept since the night they died. I feel so alone, James. It's like everyone's disconnected from me."

"You aren't alone, Lils," James said, "I'm here, right now."

Smiling through her tears, Lily enveloped James in a tight hug, burying her face in his shirt. James closed his eyes and breathed in the scent of her hair. He had the same undesirable urge to kiss her hair and did so.

_When I close my eyes_  
_And think of you it takes me places that I've never seen  
__And the rain, it blows  
__You're brushing up against my skin to wash me clean_

"How come you haven't talked to me since I've been back?" Lily asked, her voice muffled against his shirt.

James loosened his grip on her slightly. "I wanted to give you some space and time to mourn."

Lily leaned back from him and shook her head slightly. "I didn't want space, I wanted comfort, like this."

_I'll show you the love in my hand_  
_I'll show you the love that we have  
__I'll show you the love in my hand  
__I'll show you the love that we have_

"Come on," James said with all the effort he could muster. "Let's get you to bed. Do you want a Sleeping Potion?"

Grinning, Lily said, "As long as you aren't brewing it."

James grimaced dramatically. "Ouch. We'll stop by the hospital wing and pick some up from Madam Pomfrey."

They walked down the steps from the Astronomy Tower, not touching but just talking about things that didn't matter much in the grand scheme of things, but meant the world to each of them simply because they were discussing it together.

* * *

Lily walked purposefully down to the Quidditch pitch where the team was practicing ferociously. Lily immediately found James – he had the most confident style of flying. Shaking herself, Lily wondered why she was being so _open_ with James lately. In the library she almost kissed him, then wanted him with her throughout the whole funeral process with her parents, then she cried all over him on top of the Astronomy Tower a few nights ago and actually _said_ she wanted him._Under your spell again_  
_I can't say no to you  
__Crave my heart and its bleeding in your hand  
__I can't say no to you_

Guilty feelings possessed her. She was concerned about why she was thinking more about mundane things than her parents' deaths lately, but she supposed seeing them die shoved any denial that they were still alive away and it was possible that the shock of it forced all of her sorrow out relatively quickly. Her parents would want her to be happy. And so would James. Why couldn't she get him out of her head?

_Shouldn't have let you torture me so sweetly_  
_Now I can't let go of this dream  
__I can't breathe but I feel good enough  
__I feel good enough for you_

Lily didn't realize at first that the team had finished until Rita called a hello out to her. She snapped out of her reverie and waved, grinning. Rita and Sirius were walking together; one of Sirius' built arms slung securely around her shoulder, as Rita's own arm was snaked around his waist. They joked and flirted while they walked back to the castle.

"Sirius is slowly realizing Fay is not for him," a voice said behind her and Lily's heart skipped just a few beats. She turned to a slightly smiling James.

"Good," Lily said, relief evident in her voice. "Rita is the one for him, I just hope he won't hurt her if they go out."

"When," James corrected, "and he won't, he has a different kind of compassion for her." Lily smiled again and moved very close to him, inhibitions letting go as they were recently doing around James. "How are you doing?" he asked.

"Fine," she said and she tilted her head towards his.

_Drink up sweet decadence_  
_I can't say no to you  
__And I've lost myself completely  
A__nd I don't mind, I can't say no to you_

"Lily," he said and his voice rung against her lips, they were so close, "I-I really, really want this, but you just lost your parents and…"

James paused and Lily pulled away. "What?" she asked, her voice dangerous.

Sighing, James said, "I don't want to be, like, a rebound for your grief about your parents, you know? I don't want you to use me for comfort and then forget about me because I - I can't make it through that."

Lily crossed her arms. "You're not a rebound. Let me refresh your memory…I wanted to kiss you in the library _before_ I knew about my parents." Lily blushed about her honesty. "I thought you liked me more than that. I thought I meant more, cause I know you mean more to me and it's not because of my _grief_."

_Shouldn't have let you conquer me completely_  
_Now I can't let go of this dream_

James shook his head solemnly. "No, no it's not like that." He stepped close once more and put a hand to her cheek. "You do mean more, just give it a little time, okay?"

_Can't believe I feel good enough  
__I feel good enough  
__It's been such a long time coming, but I feel good  
__And I'm still waiting for the rain to fall  
__Pour real life down on me  
__Cause I can't hold onto anything this good enough_

"James…" Lily said slowly and James stroked her cheek with the pad of his thumb. She closed her eyes.

_Am I good enough for you to love me too?  
__So take care what you ask me  
__Cause I can't say no_

"…I don't know what to feel about you anymore," Lily choked out and ran to the castle, leaving a confused and slightly hurt James behind.

* * *

Author Notes: Mwah ha ha!! I finished this at exactly (looks at clock on computer monitor) 1:29 AM on August 6, 2007 and I am the best updater in the world!

Well, actually not, because I'm waiting for a few more reviews from my regular reviewers so I can get their input. So I'll update whenever that happens and I apologize for making you wait a few days longer. But at least I got it out in less than two months! ((smiley face))

Sadly, after re-reading this, it seems very rushed and I don't like my transitions at all. I'm seriously considering rewriting or cutting the hospital scenes. Like it? Hate it? Feeling in a critiquing mood? Let it out and let me know!

R/R!


	10. You have a secret romance with Lily?

Summary: He thought she hated him. She thought she was just bragging rights. He kept missing his chances. She was running away scared. A story of love that follows Lily and James from 6th year until graduation. R/R!

Disclaimer: So no one sues me, I'm not JKR, I could never compare to JKR and you all know that. She is the almighty goddess of all things Harry Potter/magic. Her riches are not mine. Enjoy!

* * *

May… 

"…so if you two would kind of look out for it and tell me how you like it, that would be great," James said.

Remus quirked an eyebrow. "Wait a minute," he said, "the only reason you drug me and Peter out here was so you could make us watch a new Quidditch play?" He scoffed. "I was studying with Aurelia!"

"And I was eating!" Peter chirped.

James rolled his eyes. "You always eat Peter, and Remus, I think you're more upset about having to leave Aurelia than studying."

Remus' face turned bright red, but before he could retort, Rita walked to the three boys standing at the stadium seating entrance.

"All right guys?" Rita asked once she reached the top.

"All right, Rita," they chorused together, Remus a little grumpily. "Funny you show up…" James said cheerily.

Smiling a little, Rita replied, "Actually, it's not. You see, I'm apart of the Gryffindor Quidditch team and, according to my calendar; we have practice in a few minutes."

Smacking her slightly, James said, "No, I meant it was funny because Remus here was just discussing – "

At that moment Remus pulled out his wand and pointed it directly into James' face. "If you say one more word," Remus said dangerously although there was a mischievous twinkle in his eye, "I swear you will never live to see another day."

Giggling and holding her hands up defensively, Rita said, "As long as it's not about me."

"Oh no," James said, waggling his finger at Rita while still keeping his eye trained on Remus. "Oh no, this is about a certain friend of yours – "

" – and Remus' feelings about her!" Peter said, unable to contain himself.

Remus' wand was now pointed at Peter's face while James turned to Rita. "He's never been terribly clever," James said, nodding to Peter, "but at least he gets to the point, eh?"

Before any more of them could say another word, Sirius suddenly appeared, flying over the stands and landing smoothly on the ground. "Guess what gentlemen? And lady," Sirius nodded in Rita's direction, seemingly not realizing Remus ready to jinx hostages held at wand point. "I have _officially_ broken up with Parul."

There were "Congratulations!" passed instead of the usual "Oh no" 's or "I'm sorry" 's when someone recently breaks up with their significant other. "What knocked the sense into you?" Remus asked, stowing away his wand.

Grinning and shaking the hair out of his face, Sirius replied, "I don't know mate, it just hit me, you know? Like, did you ever notice how whiny, self-centered, clingy and annoying she is?"

Sarcastically, Sirius' fellow Marauder's cried, "No way!"

"Yeah," Sirius nodded and laughed. He turned to Rita. "Well? You've also told me how much you disliked her, what do you think?"

Rita had not joined in the joyful cries, but had stood back, watching Sirius through somewhat teary eyes and a slight smile. She shook herself quickly and said, "Well, if you're happy about it then I am."

Sirius scanned her face for a moment and took a step towards her, but before he could proceed with whatever he was about to do, Gina arrived and blew her whistle. "Potter! Black! Garbunkal! Why haven't you been in the air? Move!"

"I still can't believe we were pulled out here to watch them practice," Remus said as he and Peter settled on a top row bench.

Snorting, Peter said, "You just want to sit around and flirt with – "

A burst of white light followed by a bang caused Peter's legs to dance wildly and a few Quidditch players to crash into each other.

The whistle sounded again. "IF YOU ARE GOING TO BE A DISTRACTION YOU CAN LEAVE!" Gina screamed and Remus and Peter cowered, gave her a thumbs up sign and sat quiet throughout the rest of the practice.

* * *

"…and if she doesn't stop leaving her clothes all over the room, I swear…" Aurelia trailed off crossly, curling her legs on the couch more comfortably. 

"Don't start trouble," Lily said warningly, fanning herself with a nearby pamphlet advertising careers for 5th years. "What she's doing isn't wrong, she's a perfectly nice person. Goodness it's hot!" Lily pointed her wand at the fire and the flames went down to slightly flickering embers.

Sighing, Aurelia said, "She needs to stop gossiping about every little detail in everybody's lives."

"Me and you do that! Rita does that!" Lily said indignantly. "You can't say that's annoying about Calypso when we do it too, that's being a hypocrite."

Aurelia rolled her eyes. "Its overkill, the way she does it. And hurtful…why are you even defending her?"

"Because she's been my room mate for six years, I like her and she's human! Humans make mistakes and they shouldn't be prosecuted for them unless they are intended to cause extreme pain to others."

Aurelia snorted and gave Lily a knowing and slightly superior look. "Now you're being a hypocrite. What about James all these years? And then Fay just a few months ago?"

Lily's stern gaze turned soft and vulnerable instantly. She shook her head. "Pl-please don't talk to me about him," she said gently.

There was a pause in the conversation that had previously been a bitter argument. "What happened between you two?" Aurelia asked curiously. "Everything was going so great and then suddenly – "

"Please Aurelia!" Lily asked desperately, then lowered her head and covered her mouth with trembling fingers. Talking about James physically hurt her.

Shaking her head, Aurelia stood. "Fine, but I want to talk about it at some point. Remus just walked in, I'll see you later."

Lily shrugged her shoulders a little, not giving Aurelia any real response. Groaning a little, Aurelia walked over to Remus who had just entered the common room with Sirius. "She won't tell me anything about James…" Aurelia whispered to both guys. "She's fine with any other subject, but once you hit James or anything that relates to him, she gets so weird."

"I'm on it," Sirius said, taking a step towards the sofa where Lily was sitting, her head still hanging down.

"No, Sirius, I really don't think it's a good idea!" Aurelia said hurriedly, but Sirius had begun walking to Lily after Rita spoke the first three words.

Remus smiled a little, stepping nervously closer to Aurelia. "Sirius is like a two year old, he doesn't listen."

Aurelia turned to him and blushed, noticing his proximity. "Yeah, I've noticed," she said, trying to sound normal and not nervous. "They were doing so well together, Lily and James. We need to find a way to get them talking again."

"Hmm," Remus said. He grabbed her hand and pulled her to a corner table in the common room. "Let's hatch a plan."

* * *

"Is this seat taken?" Sirius asked Lily, pointing to the space on the couch where Aurelia had just been. 

Lily looked up and shook her head a little. "What's up?" she asked, but her voice cracked.

Sirius gave her a quizzical look as he sat. "Nothing…is something wrong?"

Lily shook her head and opened her mouth to instantly defend her dejected demeanor, but the words wouldn't come out. Lily looked up into Sirius' inquisitive face and wondered…he _was_ James' best friend, after all. She could ask for his help. "Well, um," she began, her voice low. "Okay, I-I…if I talk to you, you can't talk about this with anyone, alright?"

"Promise," Sirius said nonchalantly. "What's going on?"

Exhaling deeply, Lily began. "I don't know what to do about James."

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean by that?" he asked, irritation etched in his voice.

"It's just…well, I haven't felt this way about anyone before and it's so strange, it just sorta hit me. I might've been trying to ignore it because we're supposed to be enemies but there's just something so different about him…I'm not making much sense am I?"

Snorting, Sirius replied a little tensely, "Not really. So you like James? A lot?"

Lily shrugged. "I-I don't know. I know he likes me, well; actually, I don't because sometimes I get this feeling that he just wants to, you know, _conquer_ me. And then if he's not and if we go out, what if it's not the way he thought it would be? What if I'm just a disappointment? And if I don't go out with him, will he be okay? Will I? I just don't know…"

Lily looked at Sirius hopelessly and was surprised to see Sirius' face harden. "I can't believe you. You actually think James is _that_ much of an arrogant prat?" Lily opened her mouth to retort but Sirius spoke quickly. "No, he doesn't want to _conquer_ you. It makes me sick how much he talks about you and tries to find some way for you to accept him. Yes, he can be really arrogant and he can be an arse, but everyone can. So can you, I've seen you act the same way he does towards him."

"I only thought – " Lily started, but was interrupted again.

"I don't care. Do you realize James is changing his own personality just in hopes that you might accept him? I don't know about you, but I would hate it if someone changed who they are for me."

Lily glared. "Really? That's funny, because I think James changes himself for you also. Whenever he's around you, he bullies people more just to impress you, I believe."

"Don't turn this around on me!" Sirius hissed.

"Well then quit insulting me!" Lily retorted. "I poured out my heart to you, hoping since you were his best friend you could help me get some insight into who he is. I can't tell what's going on with him! One minute he acts like a normal, likable person and then he does something completely disgusting that makes me believe he only wants to get in my knickers."

Sirius stood angrily. Remus and Aurelia looked up from the conversation and exchanged worried looks from across the room. "If you honestly think that then you are a bloody idiot and I can't help you."

Lily stood also. "You haven't seen him when he's alone with me. He's impossible to figure out and I just wanted your _help_."

"You want my help?" Sirius asked, stepping closer to her. "Then quit playing with his head. Quit acting all cozy with him and then yelling at him the next minute. Quit using him for your own personal comfort and then treating him like shit when he needs you. Use your head and live up to the saintly reputation you hold at this bloody school."

The fire had gone out of Lily's eyes and she stepped back, hurt. "I didn't think I was doing that," she whispered. "I've felt like he was playing games with _me_. I-I…" but she didn't finish her thought and just sat heavily onto the sofa, her face in her hand.

Sirius immediately felt like an arse, but then he reminded himself that she needed a reality check. "Listen Lily," he said quietly, sitting down again and taking her hand in what he hoped was a comforting way, "you needed to hear this. I'm sorry it came out like that, but you needed to know how much you've been hurting him."

Lily nodded slightly. "Thanks, I _did _need to hear that. And I'm sorry about what I said."

Sirius shrugged. "S'alright, James is just a very easily influenced person. He sort of bends to peer pressure."

"I think he's stronger than you think," Lily said, grinning a little. Sirius smiled back and squeezed her hand.

"What's this?" a voice said from the common room entrance. Sirius and Lily looked towards it and saw James standing there, broom in hand and fury in his eyes. "What's going on?"

Sirius and Lily yanked their hands apart. "Listen, mate," Sirius started, but James raised a hand to stop him from talking and walked briskly to the boy's dormitory stairs.

Lily stood, her strong demeanor crumbling. "James!" she called and James stopped in mid step, but he did not turn. "Please look at me…" Lily said quietly.

James stood still, his head looking down at his feet splitting the stairs. "I can't, Lily, I don't know what to feel about you anymore," he said, using her own words against her as he continued up the stairs.

* * *

"Alright, so…we are meeting to discuss two of our thickheaded friends," Sirius said importantly, looking at the people sitting around him in a circle in an unused classroom. 

"What exactly happened yesterday?" Rita asked and Peter nodded eagerly. They were the only two who had not been present in the common room the day previously.

Together, Remus, Aurelia and Sirius explained the events of yesterday. "And it's a shame," Aurelia said, "because they were getting along so great before Lily's parents passed."

"Since they are too blind to see how much they like each other," Remus continued, "we need to figure out a way to get them together. Any ideas?"

Aurelia raised her hand and Remus laughed, turning to her, their knees bumping as they were sitting so close. "Yes Aurelia?" he said in an authoritative voice.

"My question is, why do we have to meddle in their lives?" she asked. "They're mature enough to handle it themselves."

Rita laughed. "Righhhht," she said, "And the Slytherins are going to walk into the Great Hall tomorrow and give daisies to everyone in lieu of friendship."

Sirius let out a bark like laugh and hi-fived Rita. "My vote," Sirius said, "is we find a spell that binds them together until they kiss and make up. Or just a spell that locks their lips together."

All pondered this suggestion for a moment before Peter said, "But they would figure out a way to undo it, they're both really smart."

"Good point," Remus said, "but we can still keep it on the list for an idea."

"We could send them each a letter declaring their undying love for one another," Rita suggested.

Aurelia shook her head. "Lily would know it's a joke and would probably recognize it isn't his handwriting."

"Same with James," Sirius said, but then suddenly snapped his fingers. "Got it! They can't see each other until the right moment, but – "

* * *

"I really don't get why you wanted to study in the library," James whispered, scribbling something on a piece of parchment and then turned a page in a book. "Why not the common room?" 

Sirius looked at his watch for the thousandth time, tapping his quill impatiently on an open book. "Because the common room is too crowded and noisy and anybody who's below fifth year isn't taking final exams seriously enough," he said without any real conviction.

James looked at him doubtfully. "You aren't either; we've been here twenty minutes and you haven't turned one page."

"There's a lot of information on this page!" Sirius said indignantly and was shushed by Madam Pince.

Around James' shoulder Sirius saw Lily's bright hair swing into sight, carrying an armful of books. Rita appeared a second later behind her, waving frantically at Sirius. "James!" Sirius said loudly, cringing a moment later. He looked over James' shoulder quickly but it didn't seem that Lily heard the mention of James' name. "I need a new book!" Sirius continued. "Lets go!" Sirius pulled a puzzled James up and heaved him to a row of books far from Lily.

Sirius contemplated what to do next. He would need to keep James away from Lily until 10:45 when Remus and Aurelia would have ushered all other people out of the library. He had already cast a spell on James' watch to make it move much slower so it was about half an hour behind. "Sirius!" James hissed and Sirius jumped. "What book do you need?"

"Er," Sirius replied intelligently. "Something about advanced Charms…"

James rolled his eyes edgily. "The Charms section is on the other side of the library. Come on – "

"No! Not Charms!" Sirius said in a panic. "Er, actually, about barns!"

"What is with you?" James asked angrily. "First you're getting cozy with Lily – "

"I've already told you," Sirius interrupted with gritted teeth. "We weren't doing anything, just talking."

James snorted and crossed his arms, looking up at the ceiling. "Funny, I don't believe talking requires holding hands and gazing at one another wistfully."

"How poetic," Sirius said scathingly, looking at his watch again. 10:47. "I'm sick of your attitude, so I'm just going to go. Don't bother following me."

Proud of the ready made escape that presented itself to him, Sirius "stormed" out of the aisle of books, Summoned all his things and walked out of the library. He was immediately faced with Remus, Aurelia, Peter and Rita. "What took you so long?" Rita asked.

Grunting, Sirius said, "I'm just two minutes late, I got into another fight with James about mine and Lily's secret romance."

"You have a secret romance with Lily?" gasped Peter genuinely.

Sirius rolled his eyes and didn't answer Peter. Instead he took his wand out and pointed it discretely at Madam Pince through a crack in the library door. He muttered a few words and Madam Pince's face became momentarily dazed and, a second later, snapped back into her usual sharp intensity.

They watched carefully as Madam Pince turned the lights low in the library and gathered a bag. A moment later she walked out of the library, leaving Lily and James alone. "Okay, me and Aurelia will lock these doors," Remus instructed, "Sirius and Rita, lock the other ones. Peter, continue keeping watch over the hallways, yeah?"

Peter nodded as Rita and Sirius walked briskly to the other doors, casting spells that would keep the doors locked until three in the morning.

Inside the library James and Lily noticed the light dimming and down and both wondered if they had overstayed their welcome. Each put down what they were working on and walked out to the main part of the library where the checkout counter was. Both spotted the other at the same time. "What are you doing here?" they asked simultaneously.

"_I'm_ studying," Lily replied first. "Can't imagine what you'd be doing in a library without me to grope."

Immediately after she said it, Lily winced. It was exactly what Sirius had warned her against – treating James like he was disposable to her.

James looked sour at her comment. "I actually _am_ studying, I'm not as all knowing as you like to boast to everyone."

Lily glared. "I don't boast."

"And I'm not an idiotic pervert." There was an agitated pause. "If you treat me like an irksome fly then I'll do the same to you."

Sighing, Lily shrugged and said, "I'm sorry. I don't know why I treat you like that. It's just…we've hated each other for so long I can't seem to break the habit when we were becoming friends."

James gave her a piercing look. "I never hated you, Lily, I made fun of you because I liked you."

"Well, not _hated_ per say…" Lily began, but she didn't know how to make what she said less hurtful. Lily tapped her fingers on her hips anxiously while James put his hands nervously in his pockets. "So, I take it you noticed the lamps dimming too?"

Nodding, James asked, "Doesn't that only happen when the library closes?"

"I thought so…maybe we should leave," Lily said.

They gave each other a long look, then walked to where their belongings sat and gathered them up. They met at the nearest doors and James pulled on the door handle, but it wouldn't budge. James jiggled the door handle a few more times and Lily fumbled for her wand. "_Alohomora!_" Lily said, but the door did not click open. "Strange…the doors are never locked…" Lily muttered, staring at the handle.

James looked up at the ceiling and closed his eyes, groaning lightly. Lily gave him a curious stare. "Sirius, Remus and Peter are behind this," James muttered, rolling his head forward until it hit the wooden door with a loud _thump_. "They've been whispering together for a few days and every time I came close to them they stopped immediately. I heard them mention the library a few times."

Lily looked bemused. "But what's the point of this? And why am I here with you?"

"Probably some sort of ploy to – " James cut himself off, realization dawning.

"A ploy to what?" Lily asked, but James shook his head.

"I dunno…"

But he wasn't convincing and Lily continued to scrutinize him. "Well, whatever it is I'm sure the doors will only unlock at a certain time, so we might as well make ourselves comfortable," James said, walking a little ways away from the door. He pulled a random book of a nearby shelf, waved his wand across it a few times and it turned into a pillow. "D'you want one?" James asked.

Lily looked at James doubtfully. "Can you change it back?"

"Sure, no problem," James said with a shrug, taking another book off a shelf and transfiguring it into a pillow also.

They found a spot to sit against an unoccupied wall where they could prop their pillows up to make the stone more snug. "You are really good with Transfiguration, you know," Lily said after she had settled herself comfortably.

James shrugged, trying decide if he could scoot closer to her without her noticing or getting upset; he was already barely a couple inches away. "It just comes naturally, like you with Potions and Charms."

Lily gave him a small smile. "I suppose. But whenever I do manage to transfigure something I can never change it back to its original state."

Laughing, James nudged her a little with his arm. "Well then, I guess you'll just have to always keep me around and handy to fix that."

Lily grinned and nudged him back, feeling a small thrill every time she touched him. "I really should just give up that subject, but I need it to be a Healer."

James looked over at her in surprise. "A Healer? Really?" he asked.

Shrugging, Lily said, "Yeah, you need N.E.W.T.'s in just about everything." She stretched her arms over her head and then rested them on either side of her body.

James cleared his throat nervously. Her hand was so close to his, practically touching. At that moment he wanted more than anything to just hold it. "Why did you decide on Healer?" James asked, his voice low as he worked to keep it steady. _Why_ did she have this effect on him?

"Hmm," Lily said thoughtfully, tilting her head upwards. "I don't know. When I was little I used to want to be a veterinarian. Then my – " she paused and took a deep breath. "My mother became a nurse and since then I wanted to be a doctor. Since there aren't any 'doctors' in the Wizarding World, I suppose Healers were the closest thing."

Lily looked down at the floor to her left, determinedly away from James. He supposed she had tears in her eyes. Still resisting the strongest urge to touch her, James said, "That's cool, very motivated. I know you'll make a great one."

Wiping her eyes discretely, Lily turned to James and beamed. "Thanks. And what about you? What do you want to be?"

James looked skyward also as if the answer would be written there and gave a low whistle. "Good question…I'm not really sure. Something with stealth would be great since I'm already good at sneaking around," Lily laughed and James smiled, "but I would also like to do something with Transfiguration involved…I don't know, I suppose I'll just see how things go after school."

They talked about their futures, their goals and what imprint they wanted to leave on the world. The discussion carried them for an hour and they fell into a comfortable silence. "What time is it?" Lily asked, her head lolling tiredly on the wall.

James looked at his watch to see that it had only moved ten minutes from the last time he checked it when Sirius was with him. "Damn Sirius, he did something to my watch," James muttered. "No clue what time it is."

"That's a pity, I don't own a watch…" Lily said, yawning. "I'm tired."

Looking down at her, he smiled. "Yes, I can see that."

Lily went to smile back at him, but stopped at the intensity of his hazel gaze. "Do you want to play a game?" she asked uncertainly. "I don't want to fall asleep in the library and be woken up by a bunch of people pointing and laughing tomorrow, a game would keep me awake."

"Sure," James said, "but what game? I don't have any cards with me…"

Energy suddenly radiating through her, Lily swung around to face James instead of sitting next to him. "Okay, put out your hands face down."

James looked a little frightened. "Why?" he asked nervously.

With an impish glint in her eyes, Lily gave him a crafty smile. "You'll see, just do as I say."

Heart racing at just how _sexy_ Lily looked when she was up to something, James put his hands out, keeping his facial expression to look suspicious rather than lusting. Lily slowly settled her hands palms up under his, lulling him into a false sense of security. "So now what, do we just sit here holding hands?" James asked, giving her a playful grin.

Lily's cheeks reddened slightly, to James' delight. "Well…" Lily began quietly and just as James was leaning in to hear her better, Lily's hands moved out from under his at lightening speed and slapped the backs of his hands hard, the sound echoing throughout the library.

"Ow!" James said, shaking his stinging hands. "What the hell kind of game is that?"

Giggling uncontrollably, Lily gasped, "It's…a reflex…game!"

Realization dawned and it was James' turn to be crafty. "Oh Miss Lily Middle Name Evans, you did _not_ just challenge me to a reflex game."

"Lily _Amara_ Evans," Lily gave, "And oh yes, Mister James Middle Name Potter, I _did_ just challenge you to a reflex game."

"James _Harold_ Potter," James gave, "And you are going down."

"I think not," Lily said as she twisted James' outstretched hands upward and rested her own face down. "You see I have an advantage that your Quidditch skills cannot master. I've been playing this game all my life and I know every trick in the book."

"Is that so?" James asked in astonishment. Lily hummed in a superior way. James declined from saying anymore, but stared into Lily's playful emerald eyes, trying to distract her from the fact that he was about to dominate.

After a few minutes, Lily said, "Are you going to try or – " and before she could finish, James slapped his hands so quickly on top of hers Lily was sure it would've only been seen by the naked eye if played back in slow motion.

"Can you beat that, Evans?" James asked.

Smirking and positioning her hands once more, Lily replied, "I know I can, Potter."

They sat still once more, boring into each other's eyes. Lily twitched her hands slightly and James yanked his away. "Cheater!" James said resentfully.

"Nuh-uh," Lily said, reaching and pulling James' hands forward, positioning them correctly. "That's perfectly legal."

James eyed her skeptically. "How do I know you're not lying?"

Lily twitched her hands again and James yanked them back again. "I suppose you'll just have to trust me."

Warily, James put his hands back on Lily's. She continued to twitch them repeatedly but James refused to yank them away. Finally Lily lifted them to slap James but he was ready and grabbed both of her hands in his. "Ha! Worm your way out of this," James said smugly.

"You can't do that!" Lily said defiantly, wriggling her hands hopelessly.

Laughing, James pushed his fingers through her struggling ones to get a better grip. "I want to see a rule book for this unnamed game and then I'll _consider_ letting you go."

Lily rolled her eyes exasperatedly and continued to attempt to escape. "James Potter, if you don't let me go this instant – "

James pulled her forward so they were less than an inch apart. Lily stopped wiggling and looked up into his eyes. "Or you'll do what?" he asked threateningly.

They were silent and still, hands gripping each other. Then Lily came forward a necessary inch and connected her lips lightly onto James'. James mind went into a spiraling whirlwind of jumbled thoughts, yet one was screaming throughout his brain – Lily was kissing him. He stroked the side of her hands with his thumbs and opened his mouth slightly; too afraid to take control and just enjoying the fact the Lily was in charge. She deepened the kiss and untangled her hands from James', reaching around his head to pull him closer. James wrapped his now free hands around Lily's waist, pulling her onto his lap. Lily trapped him against the wall and their previously gentle kiss turned instantly passionate.

"James…" Lily muttered between kisses and James grumbled something unintelligible. He began attacking her neck so viciously that Lily knew it would be bruised, but she didn't care, there were spells to fix it. James was kissing her in ways she had only imagined. She gripped his neck hard as he battered her and she reveled in it. Their lips met again and James pinned Lily to the floor in a quick motion. Lily kissed his jaw line and he wove his hands into her long flaming hair, pulling her as close as he could.

"Is this happening?" James muttered in disbelief. "Are you really here, Lily?"

"Yes," she whispered strongly and found his lips again.

Even though James was in heaven and never wanted to let Lily go, he had to talk to her about it. They were moving extremely fast for two people who had not spoken to each other for a week. "Lily," James said, pulling away a little. Lily looked up, her face flushed as she breathed deeply. "I think we should talk about this."

Lily paused for a moment, then took her hands off of James and sat up, adjusting her skirt. "Talk about what?" she whispered, partly because she was in a library and it was just out of habit and partly because her voice was lost somewhere in limbo.

"Well, we're moving awfully fast," James said a little nervously as he adjusted his glasses needlessly. "I mean, I've been wanting to be with you forever, but we aren't even anything. I don't know if we're even friends, everything's been so…confused lately."

Lily sighed a little. "You don't know if we're friends?" she asked dubiously. "I thought we've been friends since we started studying together."

"Not really," James said and slapped himself after he saw the look on Lily's face.

"Not really?" Lily asked. "What do you mean by that? Did you not even care all this time?"

"No, no!" James said hurriedly, standing. "No! It's just, I don't know anything about you, Lils."

Lily stood also and she crossed her arms. James could see a large red spot that was quickly bruising on her neck and felt hot all over. "Don't call me Lils right now, okay?" James nodded, just trying to find some way to remedy the situation he was stuck in. "I just don't know what you're getting at, James and I wish you would explain to me _what _you want to talk about."

James shrugged his shoulders lamely. "Us. Where we are and what we are."

Scoffing, Lily replied derisively, "Well, we are locked in the library and we are two students at Hogwarts."

"That's not what I mean!" James shouted heatedly.

Lily raised an eyebrow. "Why are you yelling?"

"I'm not!"

"Yeah, you are right now!"

"Now you're yelling!"

Growling under her breath, Lily said, "This is getting us nowhere."

Silence rang through the library and it was slightly unnerving after the shouting. Timidly, James said, "I-I just don't want things to get out of control. I don't want to ruin this."

"You might've already," Lily mumbled.

James heard and was caught off guard. "What? What do you mean?"

Lily sighed. "It just seems so impossible with us!" she shouted a little. "When things are going great, something happens that makes me doubt everything I feel about you!"

Impatience rose within James. "What do you feel about me then? Because I never know with you! You treat me like shit and then you're all over me then your scolding me and I don't know what to think or how to take it."

"I know!" Lily yelled, grasping each side of her head with her hands. "I know and I don't mean to! _I_ don't even know what I feel about you!"

"Why don't you give it a shot?" James hollered angrily.

Lily growled again. "I like you a lot James, I do, but then I get irrationally angry with you. Maybe it's just how we work, but it's not like anyone else's relationships. There's things I love about you and things I can't stand and I don't know what to do with it all! And I don't even know what you feel about me!" she added as an afterthought.

"You don't?" James asked furiously. "After all this time you really don't? Get it through your thick head; I'm crazy about you! I don't want just a one-night stand sort of thing; I want to be_ with _you. And if you can't realize that I don't know what to tell you."

Lily opened and closed her mouth soundlessly, trying to get something out, but James continued before she could try to produce words. "And yeah, we're not like other people, but that's what makes us so special. Quit trying to be like everyone else and just be _you_."

"You don't think I am?" Lily found her voice again. "We just don't make sense…but when I'm with you it _makes_ sense. But then I think, what will people say when they see Lily and James, loathed enemies, together?" Lily shouted, although _she_ was not making much sense.

James slammed his hand down on the nearest table and Lily jumped. "Who cares what they say?" There was a livid and short pause before James contradicted, "Actually, you know what they'd say?"

"What?" Lily challenged.

In two long strides James crossed the space between them and kissed Lily so fiercely that she forgot who she was. But she regained consciousness and kissed back with the same intensity. Just as things were getting very impassioned again, there was a loud click and Lily and James broke apart. The library door had swung open.

Lily and James stood there for a long second, staring at the door still wrapped in each other. James was the first to come to his senses and he stepped back from Lily, Summoning his things the same way Sirius did hours before. "You just think about what you want Lily," James said quietly, "because it's too hard liking you and knowing that you don't want to be with me as much as I want to be with you."

And with that, James walked out of the library, leaving Lily perplexed and alone.

* * *

Author Notes: In case any one was actually interested in my chapter eight photobucket procrastination, the link is fixed in chapter eight author notes. I forgot FF didn't allow links. 

And here is the answer to my question I posed quite a few author notes back. The television character I based Parul off of is Kelly from The Office; only I over exaggerated her haha.

And about the next chapter...a scene in it is one I wrote forever ago and I posted it on this account as a little teaser for this story while I was finishing up Hogsmeade Kiss and it's alternate ending. But since I have to spend eight hours a day outside in blazing 110 degree heat and wake up at four in the morning to get to practice...it will probably be awhile before I have the next chapter out. I start school next Thursday and everyone knows how that goes. I'm hoping to get it done and out this weekend, but I'm not sure. We'll see and please be patient ((smiley face))

R/R!


	11. And you said I was unintelligent

Summary: He thought she hated him. She thought she was just bragging rights. He kept missing his chances. She was running away scared. A story of love that follows Lily and James from 6th year until graduation. R/R!

Disclaimer: So no one sues me, I'm not JKR, I could never compare to JKR and you all know that. She is the almighty goddess of all things Harry Potter/magic. Her riches are not mine. Enjoy!

**Song Credit: Hero by Enrique Iglesias. **

* * *

"What the _hell_," Sirius said as he closed the door to their usual empty classroom.

Sighing, Peter started Conjuring hard, wood-backed chairs instead of the usual cushy arm ones that Sirius presents. Rita and Aurelia watched him in amazement – they never knew he was capable of advanced magic that _they _couldn't even accomplish. "I don't know," Peter said, flourishing his wand as the last chair appeared.

"What has Lily told you, exactly?" Remus asked, sitting on a chair and shifting uncomfortably.

Rita copied his movement. "She doesn't tell us much where he's concerned." She looked to Aurelia for help explaining.

"Basically," Aurelia began, choosing not to sit in a chair but to lean on the back of Remus', "She has no idea we were part of the library jig. When we asked her where she was most of the night, she told us the library mysteriously locked and she was stuck with James. They argued a little, started talking, then the door unlocked."

Rita rolled her eyes. "But I know that wasn't the whole story. If her and James had 'just talked', she wouldn't be moping around, distracted and falling behind on her duties."

Sirius looked surprised. He got up from his seat next to Rita and began pacing wildly. Remus looked at him in concern for a moment, then said, "At first James wouldn't tell us anything. He finally broke down this morning, after he told us off for locking him in there.

"His story started the same way Lily's did, only it was more detailed. They started getting tired and Lily offered to play some sort of strange muggle game…do you remember what it was Sirius?" Sirius stopped in mid step, gave Remus a hard look, shook his head and resumed his angry pace. Remus rolled his eyes at his best friend and shrugged. "Oh well, it doesn't matter. Anyway, she offered to play the muggle game so they could stay awake and they started flirting and, well, Lily kissed him."

"Whoa," Rita and Aurelia said together, "Lily kissed _James_?"

Snorting, Sirius stopped his wild pacing and rounded on Rita and Aurelia. "Yeah, we were surprised too." His voice was snide and cold. "Apparently they had a big argument about their _feelings_ for one another and they kissed some more! The door unlocked and he basically said: 'Never talk to me again until you figure out what you want'."

A pondering silence filled the room and Sirius resumed his pacing. Remus cleared his throat. "Yes, well, I suppose the question is what to do next."

Aurelia sighed. "I didn't like interfering before and I'll say it again – let them figure it out."

Sirius growled and stopped his pace once more. "Let _them_ figure it out? Are you fucking kidding me?"

"Sirius – " Remus began in a stern, warning voice but Sirius cut him off and continued his tirade.

"James knows what he wants – Lily. On the other hand Lily can't figure out whether she wants him or not and, in the process of her toying with his emotions, she is breaking _both_ of them." He advanced on Aurelia who stood her ground next to Remus. "Let them figure it out? I don't think so. All we need to do is hit Lily over the head with a realization stick."

Remus stood in front of Aurelia and opened his mouth to tell off Sirius but someone beat him to it, literally. Rita jumped up, sprinted to Sirius and slapped him hard on the back of the head. Sirius stumbled and, when he righted himself, he was faced with a furious Rita. "Who the hell do you think you are, treating me and Aurelia like scum just because we're friends with Lily and you're upset with her."

Sirius didn't respond, but backed a few steps away from Rita. "You may think Lily is just getting some sick pleasure out of playing with James' head, but she is genuinely confused about him. With his reputation around school that's nearly as bad as _yours_, I don't blame her."

"Hey now," Sirius said in attempt to defend his pride, "I fail to see how our 'reputations'," he extended his middle and pointer fingers on each hand and flexed them contemptuously, "play into this."

Rita laughed harshly. "You fail to see – oh God, Sirius, I thought you were _intelligent_." She put her hands flat in front of her and said in a tone meant for a slow three year old, "You both have a reputation of dating girls for a few weeks or less and dumping them once you've had your fill. It scares any _decent_ girl away from you and Lily is decent. She liked James a lot but what's stopping her is a) her fear of that strong bond they have already and b) his _reputation_."

Sirius regained part of his composure and said, "James isn't like that with her…he really cares for her."

"Yeah, and you only know that because you're his best friend. No one besides you, Remus and Peter can be sure of that." She took a few steps closer. "So before you start insulting Lily and jumping down mine and Aurelia's throats, _think_, and don't treat your friends like shit."

This time an awkward pause filled the room as Rita and Sirius sent daggers at each other. "So," Peter asked, "what have we decided?"

No one seemed to want to answer him. After a few more seconds that seemed to go on for days, Sirius spoke. "Is that the reason?" Sirius was asking Rita.

Rita hesitated slightly before answering back, "Is what the reason?"

Sighing, Sirius said more clearly, "Is my reputation the reason you won't get too close to me?"

Rita looked as if she's been hit. It took a few deep breaths before she could stutter, "P-partly, and I didn't think you looked at me that way. I don't want to, to feel that way about you just to get shot down."

Sirius laughed but there was no humor in it. "And you said I was unintelligent."

"I've gotta go," Remus, Aurelia and Peter chorused together and rushed out of the uncomfortable room into the hall, closing the door behind them. Peter kept waddling along quickly as if the feelings that had been circulating in the air were Dementors, but Remus and Aurelia stayed leaning against the wall, slightly alarmed.

"Yikes," Aurelia finally said, chuckling a little. "I had no idea they were getting that close."

Smiling, Remus said, "I had a small idea." He put his ear to the door for a moment and backed away. "I don't hear anything."

Shifting against the wall so that her arm casually brushed against Remus', Aurelia said, "Probably snogging."

Remus turned to her, his face a few inches away from Aurelia's and replied, "Wouldn't surprise me."

The conversation got lost for moments as they stood close to each other, bodies touching without either holding on. "Are you," Aurelia began, but her voice was hoarse and she had to pause to clear it. "Are you busy next weekend?"

Gryffindor courage finally built up strong enough within him. Remus began brushing his fingers from her elbow to her fingertips, entwining them with his own. He shook his head. "Why?"

Shrugging, Aurelia continued, "I was just wondering if…if you wanted to go to Hogsmeade with me?"

Remus looked into her face. "Like a, date?"

Grinning, Aurelia took a step closer. "If that's what you want to call it."

And because neither them could resist it any longer, because they had been resisting for weeks every time they had been alone together, their lips met, quickly and gently, almost so they couldn't feel it. Then Remus pulled her into a tight hug that continued silently for several minutes.

"Let's go back to the common room," Aurelia said finally, taking Remus' hand and walking with him up staircases in slight disbelief at the night's events.

* * *

It was a dreary day for spring weather. In October it would be considered pleasant, but for the end of May that was slowly slipping into summery June, the clouded sky and oh so slight chill to the wind felt worse than if a snow storm had hit the castle, or at least that's how Lily felt.

Currently she was listening to her best friends discuss Rita's love life, aka Sirius. Apparently they had a big "truth session" about the other and Sirius admitted, in not so many words, that he liked Rita more than friends and was upset that she was pushing him away so she wouldn't get hurt.

"And then he goes, 'and you said I was unintelligent' – " Rita started but Aurelia cut her off.

"I was there for that," she said grumpily. "He likes you Rita, face it."

Rita made a whining noise and hit the couch pillow lightly. "Okay…but he's a total pig! With women, I mean. You know?" she said hopelessly, looking over at a table in the corner that Lily was determinedly avoiding by looking out the window at the dreary spring day.

"I can't believe you haven't talked to him in two weeks," Aurelia said irritably. She turned to Lily. "Same with you, only yours has been three. You two are idiots."

Lily still had not spoken or recognized that she was being spoken to. "Lay off, okay?" Rita said and Lily felt a rush of gratitude for her friend. "Just because you're in love and happy – "

"We're not in love!" Aurelia protested. "We've been on one date _last_ weekend."

Snorting, Rita retorted, "Yeah, and about three or four more castle dates. Why aren't you hanging out with your boy now?"

"He's not _my boy_ and you know perfectly well that he's with his friends today because _you_ can't stop looking over to stare at _your boy_."

Lily ignored the argument and continued watching the fast moving clouds. They were going to break and pour down rain any second. _What a horrible way to celebrate your birthday, mum_, Lily thought, playing with the star charm on her necklace. Lily had not talked to anyone the whole day, partly afraid she would break down if a word slipped from between her lips.

The grief of her parents had hit her hard when she first heard, then receded almost just as quickly. But today, for some reason, it was back and Lily felt as if she was actually grieving them for the first time, really truly grieving. She didn't know if it was because it was her mother's birthday or because the weather reflected sorrow so flawlessly, but she did know that something black and terrible was gripping her heart and she didn't know how to get rid of it. She wouldn't tell anyone, she didn't want sympathy, she just wanted…_What? What do I want?_

"Fine!" Rita said loudly, making Lily jump out of her reverie and look at her friend. Unfortunately – _or was it fortunately? _– just over Rita's shoulder Lily caught a glance at the Marauders, playing a vicious game of what looked like Exploding Snap, at least, they were playing with Exploding Snap cards but knowing the Marauders it was likely to be much more dangerous. Her eyes swiveled immediately to James and she saw that his demeanor looked happy and mischievous…yet his eyes looked tired and sad. Lily's heart ached – she knew she was the reason for that sadness. "I'll talk to him before school lets out, happy?"

Aurelia nodded in a satisfactory way. "Very. Now, Lily...I want to talk about your love life."

_This is not what I need right now_, Lily thought to herself. She was already on the verge of tears about her parents and talking about how much she had hurt James was not going to help, but she forced herself to meet Aurelia's gaze. "What do you want to know?" Lily asked, hoping her voice sounded casual, but she had been right about an earlier prediction: as she spoke, she felt the tears build and her solid exterior crumble.

Sighing, Aurelia held her hand comfortingly. "I know you feel, er, deeply for James – "

"Let her be, Aurelia," Rita said worriedly, noticing Lily's shoulder slumping and her eyes wetting.

" – and I _know_ he doesn't want to, use you, or anything," Aurelia continued, ignoring Rita.

Lily looked up again and saw James staring at her in a peculiar way. His mind wandering cost him, though; as Lily saw the cards in his hand explode. His friends roared with laughter in time with the thunder rumbles across the sky. "I – Aurelia, it's…"

The black thing holding her heart decided to try to break it and Lily drew a deep and sudden breath. Aurelia and Rita looked at her in concern, but Lily didn't want the sympathy, she didn't want it! She wanted to run, hide, get away from her pain and her friends insistence and James' misery…

Lily wrenched her hand out of Aurelia's and ran from the common room just as thunder rumbled louder and more ferociously as the rain began to trickle.

* * *

"Guys, guys! Shut up a minute!" James said wildly, wiping the soot off his face and glasses. Without the lenses, James saw a blurry Lily running from the room quickly and James couldn't sit there any longer and watch her suffer from whatever was torturing her. "I'm out – no, Sirius, I'm done for a bit. Move out of the way."

James worked his way around chairs and shoved his glasses on his face, half walking, half jogging over to Aurelia and Rita who were looking at each other with puzzled expressions. "What's wrong with her? Where did she go?" he asked.

Aurelia shrugged. "I-I don't know, she was just about to tell us something and then she ran away."

"Damn," James muttered. "Listen, if she comes back, tell her I'm looking for her and really need to talk to her. And I'm sorry and I'll stop ignoring her and – "

Rita slapped his arm lightly. "We'll make you sound more clever than that. Just go find her."

James squeezed her arm appreciatively and bolted out of the common room. "Is he going after her?" a voice asked and the girls spun around. Remus, Sirius and Peter were standing next to the couch, also looking at the common room entrance where James and Lily and just ran out of.

"I believe so," Aurelia said, smiling widely.

"If they don't get together by night fall, I'm going to kill them," Rita said grumpily.

"Here, here," Sirius said, shooting her a grin before he realized they were not speaking. Each looked away from each other nervously.

Remus eyed them impatiently. "And I'll kill the both of you if you don't start talking to each other again."

* * *

The fresh air helped, but only slightly. The rain, which was getting heavier with each passing second, was the one thing that kept the gloom hanging over her. She sat heavily on the stone steps that led out to the grounds, the only thing protecting her from the rain was the over hanging a few stories above. Arms wrapped around her legs and chin resting on her knees, she thought about her extremely mixed feelings and wondered if she would ever work out what they meant.

"Hello," a voice panted behind her and Lily jumped slightly, turning to see an out of breath James behind her, a hand holding him up against the doorway. "I saw you running out and you looked upset, so…"

He trailed off, not sure just what to say now that he ran across the castle trying to find her. James looked at Lily, taking in the tears pouring down her face and her slumped form. Her eyes looked pained and surprised to see him standing near her. "I," she choked out, her voice croaking. She shook her head slightly and looked down at the ground. "I'm so sorry, James. I-I know I'm hurting you and I don't mean to, I'm just so confused about everything." She looked up into his face and frowned. "I don't want to hurt you and I've only seen you in pain these past few weeks and it kills me…I'm sorry."

Before James could register any kind of emotion in him, Lily stood and wrapped her arms around James' back in a tight, comforting hug. At first he stood in a slight shock of being touched by Lily, then he seized her just as tight, burying his face into her neck. "It's ok," he muttered after a moment. "I understand, _I'm_ sorry for ignoring you."

Lily sniffed, squeezed him one last time, then pulled back. James released her and backed up a few paces. "We're idiots," Lily said, looking out at the rain. She sat once more on the stone steps, leaning against the wall and curling her legs under her.

James cleared his throat awkwardly and sat next to her, trying to keep his distance just as he tried to resist touching her in the library. "Yeah…what's wrong with you, though?" he asked.

"Uncertainty is the best word to describe what's wrong with me," Lily answered, shuddering a little. "It's my mum's birthday today," she added in a whisper.

Now James couldn't resist reaching out to her and he snaked his arms around her waist, pulling her close. Lily smiled a sad smile and leaned her head against his shoulder, more tears slipping down her face. A few minutes passed in comfortable silence before James stood up, taking Lily's hand. "May I have this dance?" he asked, giving her his infamous lopsided smile.

Grinning through her tears, Lily said, "Sure, but there's no music."

"We'll just have to make some," he said, pulling her to her feet and out in the rain. James pulled her in close, wrapping his arms around her waist. Lily slipped her arms around his neck and put her head on her shoulder. James began humming a soft tune, so soft she could barely hear it through all the rain.

"_Would you dance if I asked you to dance?_" James sang softly into her ear, pulling her closer. "_Would you run and never look back? Would you cry if you saw me crying? Would you save my soul, tonight?_" James dipped Lily close to the ground, the rain coming down harder and sprinkling her face. Both were soaking wet. James brought her back up and looked into her eyes.

He kissed her so softly on the forehead Lily barely felt it and he continued singing, his own forehead resting on the top of her head. "_Would you tremble if I touched your lips? Would you laugh? Oh please tell me this. Now would you die for the one you love? Hold me in your arms, tonight._"

Lily smiled as he sang, her worries and her heartache gone. She forgot about her parents, she forgot about the rain, she forgot that she was supposed to hate James. All she could do is hang on to the sound of his voice and the feel of his warm breath on her cheek. James spun her out and brought her in with her back against his chest and his arms around her waist. Lily felt completely safe as she leaned her head back on his shoulder, eyes closed.

"_I can be your hero baby. I can kiss away the pain. I will stand by you forever,_" he lowered his mouth next to her ear. "_You can take…_my breath away." James whispered the last three words. Slowly, Lily turned to face him and peered into his hazel eyes. Her own sparkling emerald ones transfixed James. And with the rain coming down in sheets around them, they shared a kiss.

* * *

Elated was the perfect way to describe what Lily was feeling. Confusion no longer ruled her mind; she knew that she liked James. She knew that she loved the feel of his hand in hers and she loved walking back to the common room with him, dripping wet, barely speaking but just enjoying each other. Lily wasn't sure why it had taken her so long to stop worrying about what others might think and to just be with James, but she was glad she had finally done so.

"I'm tired," James said once they had gotten inside the common room. He led her to the wall between the staircases leading to the dorms and leaned against it.

People were staring and whispering. Lily got a small fluttering of anxiety in her stomach, but she pushed it away and nodded, focusing on James. "Me too."

James looked down at their clasped hands and rubbed his thumb over the back of hers. "I don't want to leave you. I - " James swallowed visibly and continued in a whisper. "I'm afraid it won't be like this tomorrow."

Lily put her free hand to James' cheek. "It will be, I promise." And even though people were still whispering about her, Lily fought away her fear and kissed James soundly on the mouth.

They barely separated their lips and James nodded. "That gives me strength to walk upstairs." He gave her one last small kiss and said; "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Goodnight," Lily said as James pulled his hand away from hers and walked up the stairs. She smiled, kept ignoring the people in the common room and went to her own dorm.

It was empty except for Calypso. "Oh, hi Calypso!" Lily said cheerily. "You're here early, what's up?"

Calypso sat up and put _Witch Weekly_ down. "I had a small fight with one of my friends, so I decided to come back early."

"I'm sorry," Lily said, but she was grinning and not paying much attention to her roommate.

Calypso surveyed Lily as she grabbed nightclothes from her drawers. "Why are you so happy? And wet?"

Scoffing, Lily threw her clothes on the bed and said, "Is being happy a crime?"

Laughing flatly, Calypso said, "Depends. Just spill, what's going on?"

Being in such high spirits, Lily told Calypso everything that happened out in the rain. "It was just so romantic," Lily sighed, flopping on the bed, causing the covers and her clean clothes to dampen.

Calypso smiled, but it was vacant. "Oh, so are you two totally going out?"

"Um, I think so. We didn't ask each other or anything but we both want it, so I just assume we are," Lily said, sitting up and frowning slightly.

"Hmm," Calypso said doubtfully, "Are you sure James has the right intentions?"

Lily laughed and got off her bed, busying herself with finding a towel. "Whatever do you mean?"

"Well," Calypso began. "I dated James, remember?"

"Hmm," Lily said, picking up a towel off the bathroom floor and began drying her hair with it. "Yeah, back in fifth year, right?"

Calypso nodded. "Do you know why we broke up?"

"Not really," Lily said, sitting back on her bed while she rubbed her scalp with the towel. "Should I know?"

Shrugging, Calypso said, "You might want to know the kind of boyfriend he is." She jumped onto the bed, sitting next to Lily and looking her dead in the eye. "We only went out for, like, a week and we were snogging and he told me all these romantic things that were totally sweet at the time." Lily smiled a little, but her eyes darkened a bit at the same time. "And then he started moving, like, way too fast and I told him to slow down and he got mad and said he wanted to shag and I said I didn't and he broke up with me." She sniffed. "I really liked him and he was just, like, totally using me."

Slowly Lily stopped towel drying her hair and she bit her lip thoughtfully. "He was a different person back then," she said quietly, almost to herself, then looked up at Calypso. "He might've been that way then and, trust me, I believe it, but he's changed. What he said to me was genuine – no one is that great of an actor."

Calypso leaned forward and grabbed Lily's hand comfortingly. "I thought the exact same thing. I thought he changed and I thought he wasn't that great of an actor. But he is, Lily. Open your eyes – he gets out of most of the troublemaking stuff he does. How? Because he's a good actor."

Lily seemed to be losing her willpower. "He's just – charming."

"Exactly, charm goes a long way," Calypso said, squeezing her hand. "Trust me, I know how he works, I dated him. If you want to save your heart, don't talk to him."

Lily looked lost, hurt and weak. "I – I don't know now."

"We can talk longer, we can talk as much as you need until you realize that James is not the one for you," Calypso said, giving her a forced grin.

* * *

James woke up feeling tired and excited. He was going to be with Lily today. They hadn't seen each other for a few days because of finals, only shared a smile from across the room, but finals were over and he had a few glorious days alone with Lily until they had to part ways over the summer.

He could barely contain himself.

Jumping out of bed, he showered and dressed quietly as it was very early in the morning and his roommates were still sleeping. James picked up _Quidditch Through the Ages_ and headed down to the common room where he figured he would read until Lily came down.

To James' great surprise, a certain red head was already there, dressed in muggle sweat pants and a tank and immersed in a book. James stopped in the middle of the stairwell and leaned against the banister with a slight smile on his face. She was so beautiful and she didn't even realize it. He watched her for a good five minutes before continuing down the stairs and sneaking behind her, grabbing her shoulders and kissing her cheek.

The reaction from Lily was not what James had expected. She jumped and turned her head, a little fear etching into her face as her eyes focused on James. She slid a few inches down the sofa and James laughed softly, keeping his hands on her shoulders. "What's wrong with you?"

The fear on Lily's face hadn't quite vanished yet and she shook his hands off by squirming her shoulders away. "N-nothing," she whispered.

James quirked an eyebrow. He tossed his book on the couch and settled his hands uncomfortably on the back of the sofa. "No really, what's up?"

Lily stood and closed her book sadly. "I need to go."

James laughed vacantly. "Go where? We've taken finals, there's no where to go until the train gets here." He tried to grab her arm but Lily moved it swiftly out of his grasp. James looked hurt. "What's going on with you?"

Lily gave him a sympathetic and exasperated look and said, "It's – it's just – "

"What?" James asked impatiently. Lily shook her head and tried to walk away but James finally succeeded in grabbing her arm.

"Let go of me," Lily said weakly, tears slipping down her face as she struggled to get out of his grip.

James shook his head, getting paranoid. "No, I want to know what's wrong."

Lily stopped struggling but James still held fast to her arm. "I don't deserve you," she said bluntly. "I'm not good enough for you."

Her words hit him and James' breath and voice left him completely. He knew something like this would happen, knew it was too good, but at the same time James couldn't believe it. "What do you mean?" he said in a hushed voice. "You've always been good enough, the only one who's ever been good enough. Hell you're _more_ than good enough, I – " And then it hit him: "You talked to Calypso, didn't you?"

Lily looked suddenly defiant. "Why does that matter?"

Rasping, James let go of her arm but Lily didn't try to run. "It matters because she told you a lie – no, Lily, listen," James cut Lily off swiftly as she opened her mouth to interrupt him. "I liked her a lot and decided to go with her, but she didn't care about me at all. She tried to use me. Calypso broke up with me because I wouldn't sleep with her and decided to find a guy who would."

Lily gazed at him intently. "Why should I believe you?"

James glared. "You've spent more time with me this school year than you have the past six years sharing a dorm with Calypso."

"And how the hell would you know that?" Lily said, her voice rising.

"Because I've watched you, Lily!" James roared. "Because I like you! And since you wouldn't let me get to know you, I had to find some way around that!"

Lily's resolve crumbled. She bent her head shamefacedly. "You picked on me," she said softly, upset with herself, wondering why she was convincing herself that James was just an actor and not a good person. "You were arrogant and rude." She looked up and met James' hard, blazing look. She had to turn away. "What happened yesterday was a mistake. I'm sorry. We – we shouldn't be together."

James shook his head, disbelieving. "No," he croaked, reaching out of her but Lily stepped back out of his reach. James looked up, tears shining in his eyes. "Please, Lily," he said brokenly. "Please…"

"I'm sorry," Lily sobbed, resisting the urge to touch him, help him and comfort him. _I really liked him and he was just, like, totally using me_, Calypso had said. James would hurt her. She had to get away from it as soon as possible. "Just – just leave me alone."

Lily ran out of the common room, running from the only thing in her life she didn't know the answers to. That one thing watched her run away from him once more and he collapsed to the ground just as the rest of the castle began waking to a carefree day.

* * *

Author Notes: I changed the rating from T to M because I used the F-bomb in this chapter and I am planning drinking scenes in later chapters. This will not turn into a smutty FF where it shows all the characters having sex...I just am bumping up the rating to be safe. If you can handle fierce language and alcoholic drinking, then I'm sure you can stomach this story. Thank you! 


	12. Dumbledore snorting Sugar Quill sugar

Summary: He thought she hated him. She thought she was just bragging rights. He kept missing his chances. She was running away scared. A story of love that follows Lily and James from 6th year until graduation. R/R!

Disclaimer: So no one sues me, I'm not JKR, I could never compare to JKR and you all know that. She is the almighty goddess of all things Harry Potter/magic. Her riches are not mine. Enjoy!

* * *

**THE NEXT GRINDEWALD?**

**_Submitted By Anonymous Contributing Writer_**

_A new terror is rising and sweeping through our magical community. He has been the prime suspect in over two dozen murders of muggle families and three wizarding families who were known for speaking ill of this new sorcerer._

_This terror is rising so much that many cannot speak is name for fear of their family being attacked next –_

"Why don't you say _your_ name, you filthy coward."

"Rita!"

"I completely agree and he was way too melodramatic. Just saying Voldemort – "

"Lily!"

"What? It's not like he's going to walk up the lawn any second, ready to smite us."

"You never know, he could have ways of knowing…"

"You're being paranoid and I'm sick of hearing this rubbish of how notorious this Voldemort character – Aurelia, please! – is. I want to hear how we're trying to get this guy in Azkaban."

Lily signed and rose from her bed, walked across her and Aurelia's combined room and threw the newspaper on top of the short and rude letter from Petunia in the rubbish bin. It had said where Petunia was currently residing and that Lily had to go to their old home and clean out her room so Petunia could sell the house. She was going today with Rita and Aurelia.

"…its just ridiculous to be so afraid of someone, you can't even say his name," Rita said, stretching out on the floor, snuggling up to one of Aurelia's larger stuffed animals.

Aurelia rolled her eyes. "That's what Remus keeps saying, too. He's not afraid to say his name."

The argumentative fire went out of Rita's eyes. "You saw Remus? When?" she asked in what was supposed to be a nonchalant voice.

Aurelia glanced at Lily nervously before continuing. "Yesterday. He came over for tea."

The conversation died and the three girls sat in an awkward silence. Lily knew exactly how Rita felt. When Remus came over, Lily only gave him a warm hello and a sad goodbye. In between she went to a muggle park nearby and sat on the swings until the approximate time Remus was supposed to leave. It wasn't that Lily was upset at Remus; it was just he had been staying with James all summer. It was certain that she had been brought up and for some reason it felt like Remus had the upper hand and inside look into Lily and James' relationship, if you could call it that. It unnerved her and Lily knew it unnerved Rita as well. It was just as certain that they had talked about Sirius and Rita's relationship also.

"So, when do you want to go, Lily?" Aurelia asked, breaking the silence.

Sighing, Lily replied, "I don't know, I suppose now."

Rita nodded. "Yeah, it's better to get it over with." She stood; tossed the stuffed animal she was laying on back on the bed and grabbed Lily's hand comfortingly. Aurelia began gathering the suitcases and boxes they needed for the trip. _It's now or never_, Lily thought as she and Rita helped with the boxes and headed to the fireplace.

* * *

"_Riddikulus_!" shouted James, stepping in front of a somewhat pale Sirius. With a pop, the flesh eating slug turned into a headless corpse. Fear took over and James froze for just a moment, giving enough time for Sirius to step up. At the same time, the boys raised their wands and shouted, "_Riddikulus_!" The boggart became instantly confused and turned itself into half a slug.

"Interesting," Remus said with a laugh. He stepped forward and finished the boggart off. The entryway became instantly quieter. Instead of the previous rattling; there was only the melodic ticking of the grandfather clock.

"That takes care of the boggart in the clock for mum," James said, feeling his heart lighten a little more now that the corpse was gone. "Any other chores?"

"Besides cleaning our rooms?" Sirius said, pondering then shaking his head. "Nope, let's go eat."

Sighing, Remus said, "Well, do you think we should clean? Hallie had been asking us for a month to clean up everything and I'm running out of clothes."

"No," Sirius and James said simultaneously and began walking to the kitchen. Remus rolled his eyes and gave up on being the positive and responsible influence, for his stomach had been growling for the past half hour.

"So where is Hallie today?" Sirius asked as his fork clanked on the empty plate. "She makes steak and kidney pies twice as good as you do."

James glared, taking another bite of his pie. "They needed extra help at St. Mungos because of the attack on that wizarding neighborhood, so she'll be up there for most of the day and night. And you didn't help cook, therefore you can't complain."

"Who said I was complaining?" Sirius asked, leaning the chair back on two legs with his hands rested behind his head as he shot a grin at James. There was still some of the pie filling on his chin. "You're a ruddy good chef, just your mum is better and I like the best."

Remus wrinkled his nose disdainfully. "You're disgusting, I don't know how you can eat that fast."

Sirius looked confused and James dabbed his own chin to give Sirius the hint. Glaring, Sirius wiped the food away and said, "I think you'd be a little happier since you just saw Aurelia yesterday."

Shrugging apathetically, Remus took a bite of his steak and kidney pie, but he could not hide the small close-mouthed smile. "I don't see why that makes a difference," Remus said simply.

"Did you two have some _alone_ time?" Sirius asked, waggling his eyebrows.

"I don't have to answer that," Remus said, his voice casual despite the fact his light skin was reddening.

James cleared his throat. "So, isn't Lily staying with her?"

Remus looked up quickly at James and averted his eyes somewhat uncomfortably. "The answer hasn't changed since the last two times you asked me."

James' eyes narrowed at his nearly empty plate. "Well, I didn't know if she was going to get her own place or not."

Finishing up his steak and kidney pie, Remus sighed and stretched his arms over his head. "I don't think she will until after graduation. But don't quote me, whenever I do go to Aurelia's I see her just through about half of tea then she disappears out the front door or to the study until I have to leave."

Immediately James' heart began aching in concern for Lily. "Is she upset with you? Sirius asked, eating the chips off Remus' plate he hadn't gotten to yet.

Remus shrugged. "I don't think so, she's really friendly, like how she normally is, then excuses herself and doesn't come back until I have to leave."

"I wonder why that is…" James muttered to himself without realizing he spoke aloud.

On the contrary, Remus felt he knew exactly why Lily was behaving the way she was. He was a connection to James and, since she was so unsure of her feelings for him, she felt insecure around Remus. In fact, he was sure James would act the same way if Aurelia started coming over. Probably worse, which is why Remus hadn't told Hallie he had a girlfriend or else she would insist.

Sighing dramatically, Sirius reached over and pat James' shoulder reassuringly. "Don't strain yourself too much pondering the answer to _that_ question."

"Have you written to Rita yet, Sirius?" Remus asked, casually sarcastic.

That comment turned the tables just as Remus had hoped it would. Sirius stopped teasing James on the sensitive subject matter and immediately became self conscious. Running his fingers through his hair, Sirius said, "I sent her a letter this morning, first time this summer, but she hasn't sent one back and it's," he checked his watch nervously, "two in the afternoon with no response."

"Ahh," James said, snapping out his Lily zone-out phase, ready for some retaliation. "That's why you felt the need to update us with the time every ten to twelve minutes."

Sirius shrugged uncomfortably and Remus chuckled. "I've never seen you this stressed over a girl before."

"But this is the first one that hasn't chased and fallen all over him," James pointed out. "Plus he was friends with her first, so he has more feelings for her than the other unknown birds he dates for a week then dumps."

"Minus Fay," Remus added.

James laughed and put his hands behind his head, a smirk on his face. "Oh, dear Fay…"

Sirius' eyes had narrowed so much during Remus and James' banter that his pupils were barely visible. "Don't even get me started on all your relationship problems."

* * *

"So where do you want to head to next?" Rita asked, hefting her shopping bag further up her arm and skipping along the row of colorful displays.

Lily looked around, but before she could put in a suggestion, Aurelia said, "Food court, I'm starving."

They made their way past stylish shops of all kinds, observing the summer sales as they began to head down a moss green carpeted ramp to the food venders. They argued for about ten minutes on where to eat and finally settled on an old fashioned fish and chips restaurant.

"This is so cool!" Rita gushed as she looked at the floors of shops above her. "Muggle shops are so cool. I still think it's really weird about the paper money, though."

Aurelia grinned and shook her head. "I can't believe you've never been to a muggle shopping center, you're a half blood!"

Shrugging, Rita replied, "Well, my mom was the one who came from the muggle family and she died when I was born. My dad's never really been into anything muggle related since then." She paused; reflecting for a moment, then shook her head slightly to clear her thoughts. "Lily," she said, turning to her red headed companion, "you haven't said much today. Are you alright?"

Lily nodded quickly. "Yeah, yeah. Just stayed up too late last night."

Aurelia gave Lily a quizzical look. "Really? I thought you went to bed after we watched that weird _Donnie and Marie Show_."

"Well, I stayed up reading for a bit longer than I should've," Lily lied quickly, then became immersed in her plate of food. She could feel Rita and Aurelia looking at her and, a moment later, Lily knew they were communicating with each other silently.

Eventually Rita sighed and said, "It would be so fun to take the Marauders here, wouldn't it?"

Lily looked up so quickly, the blood rushed to her head and her heart froze with a slight fear. Aurelia looked over at Lily for a split second, grinned slightly and replied, "Definitely. I know none of them have really experienced the muggle worlds before."

Although their conversation seemed casual, their over-airy tone and quick glances to Lily from smirking faces gave away the fact they were trying to get some sort of reaction out of Lily. They were very close to achieving their goal.

The day before Remus came over and surprised Aurelia. Since Rita was spending the night that weekend, Remus brought Sirius. Lily knew they had been writing each other since about halfway through the summer (Rita was positively giddy about) but it was an extreme shock to see him come walking through the front door. Remus and Sirius gave some excuse as to where James and Peter were to justify why Sirius had come this time without making him come off to clingy to Rita. Sirius had an image to uphold even if it was obvious he was falling hard to Rita, although she was blind to it.

Whenever Remus came over, it was a little bit weird, yet he acted like he didn't know why Lily was so quiet and why she left for most of his visit. Recently Lily had been able to manage is whole stay and even slipped in inconspicuous questions about James, which she was sure he was able to decode the real wondering behind them.

But when Sirius came over, she felt as if she was on display the whole time. As soon as Sirius saw Lily, he gave her a strange look, like he was analyzing and judging her, cataloguing her every movement to use against her at some point or to report back to a certain someone when he got home.

Even though Sirius joked and flirted with Rita the whole time, whenever he had a spare moment he looked over at Lily, giving yet another scrutinizing stare. Half an hour into lunch, Lily excused herself to the bathroom where she spent the remainder of their visit crying, only mopping herself up and coming out when she heard voices in the entry way. Lily had to put on a smile and go downstairs to say goodbye. As she drew closer to Sirius, he gave her another piercing look and said, _"Did you fall in?"_ All Lily could remember was Remus glaring and her mind whirring angrily. The next thing she knew Aurelia was closing the door and Sirius and Remus were gone.

Sirius' innocent yet snide comment had stuck with Lily since then. Sirius just didn't understand how much Lily's last conversation with James hurt her also. He didn't understand knowing that she broke James' heart also broke hers even more. He didn't understand that James had hurt Lily up until 5th year when he started majorly hitting on her. He didn't understand she knew her treatment of James since then was wrong and cruel and that she wished she could take it back…

"Lily? Are you alright?" Rita asked, her smarmy attitude gone and now, in its place, a look of concern.

Snapping out of her thoughts, Lily looked up at her friends and realized she had had her forehead placed in her palm and tears were streaming down her face. She quickly grabbed some napkins nearby and began to swipe clumsily at her face, avoiding Rita and Aurelia's gaze. "I-I'm fine," she choked out, burying her face in the crinkled and wet napkin.

Rita snorted. "Don't bullshit me, who starts crying out of nowhere? Not the Lily _I_ know."

Sniffling, Lily threw her mess of napkins atop her half eaten food, lifted her chin and said, "It's nothing, I'm fine."

Aurelia reached across the table and grabbed Lily's wrist, squeezing it slightly. All she said was, "Lily…" sympathetically, studying her serenely.

Before Lily could stop herself, before she could pretend she was fine and before she could keep hiding her intense feelings, Lily found herself pouring out the piece of her heart that belonged to James to her two best friends. She started with the first bigheaded thing he ever said to her. She talked about when his comments began to hurt and when that, combined with his constant bullying, made her cry silently at night. She talked about his sudden change from insulting to trying to pick her up and how it made her so mad that she became a different, more spiteful person to be around. She talked about all of her conflicted feelings throughout the year, the truth that had been covered by the nonchalant lies she told them, how James and herself were going out for less than a day when Calypso's comments made her change her mind, about hers and James' last conversation and her depression all summer, wondering if she did the right thing and worrying about James.

When she finally finished, Rita and Aurelia sat in a stunned silence, grappling with and trying to sort all the information they had just been told.

Rita was the first to speak. "Well, we had all that worked out, but it was way less intense and much vaguer."

"Yeah," Aurelia added, "thanks for filling in the holes."

Lily gave a weak smile and sniffled again. "Sorry for not telling you, I was just so confused about it myself. I still am, and…" Lily looked at the high ceiling of the shopping center, as if her thoughts and feelings would be spelled out above her. "I don't know. I didn't feel confident enough to tell anyone else."

"Its fine, Lily," Aurelia said. "Not going to lie, we were pretty frustrated with you last year on the matter –"

"– and for a big bit of the summer, too," Rita cut in and Lily smiled again.

"– but we really understand," Aurelia finished.

Rita let out a short breath and bit her lip. "But, well, Lily...don't get mad at what I'm about to say, alright?"

It was funny to Lily that big tough Rita could be scared of her wrath, but Lily kept a straight face. "Why don't you say it and I'll see if I need to get mad or not," she said, her voice even.

Fingers tapping nervously on the table top, Rita began with, "Well, from the evidence we've gathered and from everything you've just told us, it just…it just seems like you really have fallen for James whether you like it or not. And you're too scared about what everyone will think of you and what harm it will do to your reputation if you go out with him."

"Plus," Aurelia chimed, gaining courage, "you feel bad for being so vindictive to him those years he started hitting on you that, if you went out with him, you would feel as if you didn't deserve him and you'd be putting him through misery."

"When the only thing he's ever wanted since 5th year was you, he just had an idiotic way of showing his feelings towards you," Rita added.

"And he tried his hardest to change for the better for you this past year, I hope you realize that," Aurelia said, looking nervously at Lily.

Giving a wry smile, Lily said, "You guys should be psychologists." She paused, still absorbing everything they had just told her. In a way it made perfect sense, yet it confused her even more. She gave up sorting it and gave her friends a grateful grin. "Thanks, guys."

* * *

Bleary eyed and still in pajamas, the girls came thumping down the stairs like zombies, making their way toward the kitchen. As they passed the front room, Aurelia's mum Kara called out, "You missed your dad's breakfast, so you'll have to eat cereal. And something came for you guys today and Lily's is mighty heavy."

The girls stopped in the hallway, looking at each other tiredly trying to let what Kara said roll through their sluggish brains. Aurelia was the first done and she lazily waved her arm, beckoning them to follow her as they made their way into the front room.

Three letters were sitting on the coffee table, each addressed in emerald ink to Lily, Rita, and Aurelia. "Hogwarts letters," all three said in a relieved tone, picking up the letter with their name on it.

Rita and Aurelia ripped open theirs immediately, looking through the list of stuff they needed and commenting on changes in reading material and Potion's ingredients. "Don't you think so, Lily?" Aurelia asked about a particularly gruesome ingredient.

When Lily didn't respond, Aurelia looked over and saw her friend standing a little hunched over her letter lying in the palms of her hands. She hadn't opened it yet. "What are you waiting for?" Aurelia asked, laughter in her voice.

"What –" Lily said, her voice coming out in a croak. She cleared her throat and tried again. "What if I didn't get it? I've worked my whole school career to earn it…"

Rolling her eyes, Rita said, "Exactly and there is no one else they could possibly give it to. No other Prefects had your impeccable record." She mimicked with a scholarly accent. Lily still stood huddled above her sealed letter, her eyes boring into it as if she was trying to X-Ray the contents without breaking the wax Hogwarts crest on the fold. Sighing, Rita said, "If you don't open it, I will and I won't tell you if you got it until we get on the train."

Lily lifted her eyes momentarily from the envelope to glare at Rita, but her eyes immediately refocused. Slowly, she turned the envelope around so she was facing the shield depicting a badger, lion, snake, and raven. Lily broke it open, gasping along with the crackling noise. Trembling slightly, she stretched the opening of the envelope wider and looked inside carefully. "OH MY GOODNESS!" Lily shrieked, "I GOT IT!" She whipped out a scarlet and gold badge with the letters HG emblazoned across the middle.

"Congratulations!" Aurelia, Rita and Kara chorused.

"Oh wow! I can't believe it!" Lily screeched some more, jumping around and dancing in a circle around the living room. "Do you think Remus got Head Boy?" she asked Aurelia in the middle of her twirling.

Shrugging, Aurelia said, "Dunno, probably. I'll go owl him right now."

* * *

"Ha'ee, deese are 'mwazin!" Sirius exclaimed through a mouthful of kippers.

Hallie gave James and Remus a questionable look from across the table and they translated simultaneously, "Hallie, these are amazing," in monotone. Hallie nodded her head in understanding and resumed eating her breakfast.

"Where's dad?" James asked, cutting up his waffles into small squares disinterestedly.

Hallie looked up sharply over the top of her eyes. "Helping out down at the Auror office. With this You-Know-Who –"

"Voldemort," all three boys corrected severely and Hallie winced slightly. "Why can't you say his name?" Sirius asked a little coolly.

Rubbing her head warily, Hallie said, "You haven't seen what he's done to people, you don't understand."

"I've seen my family and I understand their kind of evil," Sirius argued.

Hallie shook her head. "They're not evil, they're twisted. And I'm not getting into this with you again." She turned back to James. "As I was saying, with this You-Know-Who character getting more followers, more powerful and more forthright with his terrors, they need experts there to try and catch him since he's evaded capture for so long. And since your father was Head of the Department…" she trailed off, looking down at her half eaten plate without really seeing it.

"For being retired, he's working a lot," James said quietly and bitterly, mashing his waffles into a pulp as Remus and Sirius watched the conversation worriedly like outsiders.

Before Hallie could retort, three owls swooped into the kitchen, all carrying fat envelopes with emerald green ink on the front. One went to Sirius, one to Remus and the other to James. "Hogwarts letters," they said in unison, accepting the letter from the owl.

"Hey…I got two," James said, holding the Hogwarts crested one surely containing his school supply list in his left hand and a much thinner letter in his right. James chose the smaller, unknown note and opened it, scanning through it.

Curiously, Remus and Sirius put down their Hogwarts letters and watched as he scanned it. "Well, mate?" asked Sirius.

James looked up from the letter and his face immediately broke out into a grin. "Gina graduated last year, so I'm the new Quidditch captain for Gryffindor."

Sirius whooped, Remus smiled widely, and Hallie gasped. "Congratulations!" Hallie and Remus said, Hallie clapping her hands together excitedly.

"Yes, yes, yes, yes, YES!" Sirius said. "My best friend as my slave driver, I'll be able to have so much more freedom with you than I did with Gina."

James gave Sirius an incredulous look and he stopped dancing around immediately. "I'll cut you the tiniest of breaks, but don't think for a second I'm going to let you or anyone else slack off during practice. I want to prove I'm a worthy leader and win the Quidditch cup with an undefeated season." James got a far off look to his eyes and immediately began mumbling quickly all the plans he just formed in his head about two seconds after reading he was captain.

Sirius leaned over to Remus and Hallie. "I spoke way too soon; he's going to run us into the ground. Remus, promise me you'll back me up when I tell James off for his manic behavior a month into the school year?"

Snorting, Remus said, "A month? You give him too much credit. I'll back you up when you want to tell him off two weeks after September 1st."

Sirius clapped Remus' back appreciatively and Hallie laughed. "Finish opening your Hogwarts letters, boys. I want to see how much has changed since I went there," Hallie encouraged.

"Well we use quills now instead of a rocks and chisels and there's these things called books we study from…" James said, snapping out of his frenzied rant enough to tease his mum. Hallie glared.

"Not much is different, actually," Sirius said, browsing over his list disinterestedly, then tossing it aside. He turned to Remus. "Did you get Head Boy, old man?"

Remus shook his head. "I talked to Dumbledore at the end of school last year and told him if I was being considered for Head Boy, I didn't want it and I'd rather stay a prefect."

Hallie looked at him strangely. "Why ever would you do a thing like that?"

Shrugging, Remus replied. "I could barely handle transformations with homework and prefect duties. I can't even imagine it with Head Boy responsibilities on top of it all."

"That's understandable," Sirius said, clapping Remus on the back reassuringly. "I wonder who got it, then. There's no doubt Lily's Head Girl. As much as I would hate the sick joy a Slytherin would get punishing us, it would be rather fun to mess with a snaky Head Boy."

James, who had been sitting silently throughout the conversation, cleared his throat and said quietly, "I got it."

"Got what?" Sirius asked.

"It. Head Boy," James said, looking down at his lap.

Laughing, Sirius said, "Good one."

James shook his head and lifted his hand from his lap, showing the table the scarlet and gold badge with HB emblazoned across the middle. "No, really. I'm…I'm Head Boy."

The whole table looked at the badge in shock for a few seconds before Hallie jumped up, squealing. "Head Boy! Oh James!" she said, coming over and giving her son a huge hug. "You're the first Potter to ever have it! They've all been too big of trouble makers! I'm so proud!" Hallie started attacking James with sloppy kisses.

Instantly he tried to wiggle away. "Mom, geroff, the guys…" he muttered, his face reddening.

"Don't worry, we're still in shock, we can't see a thing," Remus said, looking at the badge now lying on the table.

"Who in their right mind would give James Head Boy?" Sirius asked confusedly. "Was Dumbledore snorting sugar from a Sugar Quill when he assigned positions?"

Remus shrugged and James said, "Probably…I don't understand how the hell I got this with my record."

Another owl flew into the kitchen and soared to Remus, sticking a leg out so Remus could remove a quickly scribbled letter. "It's from Aurelia," Remus said, reading it as the owl sat looking at him thoughtfully. "Lily got Head Girl." James stopped everything he was doing and looked at Remus with wide eyes. His face immediately became flushed. "Does anyone have a quill so I can write her back real quick?"

Hallie Summoned a self-inking one wordlessly and Remus caught it out of the air. While James was still emerged in thoughts of Lily, Remus tugged on Sirius' shirt to get his attention. When he looked over, Remus pointed out a sentence Aurelia wrote. "'Did you get Head Boy and if you didn't, who do you think did?'" Sirius read in a whisper.

"What should I tell her?" Remus whispered back.

Sirius thought for a second, then said, "Just write the truth, but say don't tell Lily."

* * *

"I see my owl coming," Aurelia said, looking out the open back door into the sky.

"Good, now we can stop pondering over who got Head Boy," Lily said.

"He may not have gotten it," Rita pointed out as Aurelia removed a reply from her owl while the owl took a sip from Aurelia's milk.

Aurelia began scanning the letter, her eyebrows furrowing with each word. "Well?" Lily asked impatiently.

Looking up, Aurelia's eyes darted to Rita quickly, then she said, "Remus didn't get it and they can't figure out who else would've."

Lily fell back against her chair, tapping her fingers on the table. "Huh…I wonder who got it, then."

While Lily was staring off into space, deep in thought, Aurelia inconspicuously passed Rita the letter and pointed out a line. Rita read it and immediately responded with a loud, "Shit."

Lily jumped slightly and looked at her friend. "What?"

"Nothing!" Aurelia and Rita said, Aurelia incarcerating the letter under the table once Lily had looked away.

* * *

Author Notes: Imagine I'm passing out the most delicious cupcakes you've ever tasted, baked with love and many apologies for not updating in almost three months. You are going to accept the cupcake and the apology, although you can lecture me for about twenty minutes.

Now that that's taken care of…we are now venturing into the great unknown seventh year. In my outline I have sixth year nice and planned, color coded by events and by chapter and by scenes already written, then seventh year is a jumble of random thoughts. I only have part of September officially planned. Please give me filler ideas for seventh year AFTER Lily and James get together or else this story is going to end after James asks her out. Funny incidents and dramatic ones concerning Voldemort would be appreciated, but I will accept romantic ideas although I have plenty of those.

Please review so maybe it will motivate me to get a chapter out sooner and thank you for not drop kicking me into next week. ((Smiley face))

R/R!


	13. We have a habit of doing this

Summary: He thought she hated him. She thought she was just bragging rights. He kept missing his chances. She was running away scared. A story of love that follows Lily and James from 6th year until graduation. R/R!

Disclaimer: So no one sues me, I'm not JKR, I could never compare to JKR and you all know that. She is the almighty goddess of all things Harry Potter/magic. Her riches are not mine. Enjoy!

**(A/N: So EndlessMemories suggested that, since I am not a very quick updater, that I should put a previous chapter summary at the beginning of each chapter. I did this for the end of Hogsmeade Kiss and it ****did**** work well, so I thought I'd ****have a ****go**** at it**** again.)**

**Chapter Twelve Summary: **The Daily Prophet is reporting that Voldemort is getting much stronger and so much fear is building up around his mysterious persona that many are beginning to get to afraid to say his name. Lily is living with Aurelia and not speaking to Petunia much. She has to go back to her house one final time to gather her belongings. Remus and Sirius are basically living with James over the summer. Remus visited Aurelia often and, during his visits, Lily always hides away until it's time for him to leave. James tries to casually pull information out of Remus about Lily and is concerned for her. Although Sirius is trying to play cool, Remus and James are sure he's fallen hard for Rita. Lily finally breaks down to her friends and tells them the whole story about her and James and how it's been plaguing her the whole summer. Lily got Head Girl (no surprise there) and James got Quidditch captain (another no brainer). But there _i__s_ a surprise as James gets Head Boy. Sirius, Remus, Rita and Aurelia decide not to let Lily know who the Head Boy is.

* * *

Bill Forester was sure September 1st was busier than any other day of the year at Kings Cross Station. It could have been his imagination, but Bill was absolutely positive that there were more funnily dressed people that day than any other. There wasn't much else to do working there for nine years other than to observe the comings and going of people. It also seemed that he saw a lot more of the _same_ people on September 1st. 

Usually three rowdy boys he always recognized, all pushing carts full of trunks and covered cages, were passing Bill at that moment. One had untidy black hair and glasses, one always wore a leather jacket, although it was all together too hot for it and the other was always sickly looking with sandy hair. They typically had a short fat one with them also, most often seen with green and brown too small golf pants, but today he seemed to be missing.

"…I feel like I've forgotten something," Bill heard the messy haired one say. "Oh no…my broomstick? How can I be Quidditch captain without my broomstick?"

Bill shoved his pinky finger in his right eardrum, the same side the boys were passing, and rotated it roughly to clean out any earwax buildup. He couldn't have understood them properly, broomsticks and something called Kwitch? They didn't _look_ foreign…

They messy haired boy was rambling on about setting a good example as Kwitch captain and the boy wearing a leather jacket put a hand on his shoulder. "Relax, mate. I saw you pack and re-pack it three times. And if you did forget something, Hallie can owl it to you in less than a day."

Bill looked at the stations dirty concrete and shook his head. Owl it? Owl as a _verb_? When Bill looked up to continue listening to the boy's conversation, they had disappeared.

Sirius, Remus and James had emerged at the other side of Platform 9 ¾, slowing to a walk as the sight of the scarlet steam engine filled their eye line and the smell of smoke began to burn their nostrils.

"Why are you so fidgety?" Sirius asked, looking at James as he danced in place, gazing around the station.

Remus grinned mischievously and leaned over to Sirius, saying in a loud whisper, "Because he's going to see Lily and spend most of his time with her this year."

James glared. "That is so no – oh! There she is!" James pointed across the station at a red haired dot. Immediately he ran his hand through his hair, but stopped halfway through, having to untangle it from his luscious locks. Many girls stopped to admire his stupidity. After James had composed himself, he said, "I better tell her I'm Head Boy, wait for the screams of fury."

As James took a step, Remus flung out his arm in front of James' chest to stop him from proceeding. "I have a better idea," Remus said devilishly. "Don't talk to her until you get in the Heads compartment. Pin your badge on right before you get in. She won't scream at you, trust me."

Sirius shook his head in wonder. "Brilliant, Moony. What else is crammed in that tiny head of yours?"

Remus ignored him and continued consulting James. "Don't act arrogant or be a prat."

"I've learned my lesson there," James said heavily and became lost in his memories.

Sirius rolled his eyes and made gagging noises. Remus pat James' head like one would do to a dog. "I'm off to find Aurelia."

"Hey, Pete has our compartment saved since he came early. Invite Aurelia," Sirius said, then paused, looking down at the ground. "…and Rita, if she wants to."

Remus shared a small smile with James before he headed off. "Let's get our stuff put away, Padfoot, before I have to confront Lily."

* * *

"Alright, I'm going to go find Remus," Aurelia said. "Are you two saving a compartment?" 

Brushing off a speck of dust on her Head Girl badge, Lily shook her head and said, "No, I need to go to the Heads compartment for a while."

"And I hate saving a compartment by myself," Rita griped. "I'll just go with you, Aurelia."

"What about our compartment?" Aurelia asked.

Rita shrugged. "We can sit with the Marauders."

Rolling her eyes, Lily muttered, "Great."

Glaring, Rita said, "You can sit somewhere else if it bothers you that much. You have like six thousand friends."

"But we always sit together, it's a tradition," Lily retorted, crossing her arms in front of her. "Can you just take my trunk and load it wherever you're sitting? I'll just cope."

Aurelia and Rita agreed and magically lifted Lily's trunk, landing it precariously in Rita's cart. Remus and Sirius appeared a second later. "Hello, ladies," Sirius said, grinning mostly at Rita.

"Hello," the girls responded. "Remus, I can't believe you didn't get Head Boy!" Lily exclaimed straight away.

Shrugging, Remus replied, "It's not a big loss for me, being a Prefect is almost too much to handle."

"But I'll think you'll _really_ enjoy spending some _quality_ time with the new Head Boy," Sirius said, snickering. He stopped when Remus smacked upside the head, causing his smirk to turn into an irate glare towards Remus.

Lily's eyes widened. "You know who got Head Boy? Who is it?" she demanded.

"Let's go!" Rita and Aurelia chimed, pulling Remus and Sirius along quickly with carts in tow.

Sourly Lily watched them leave, then hurried onto the train to see who would be her partner for the year. "Slow down," she warned a few second years who rolled their eyes in response to her warning.

"Already breaking in the Head Girl shoes?" said a voice behind Lily and she turned to see Calypso leaning out of a compartment.

Immediately Lily's heart began to freeze. She had to suppress a glare as she turned and said mechanically, "How was your summer?"

Calypso shrugged and stepped out of her compartment. "Did you stick with my advice about James?" she asked too sweetly.

"I have things I need to do," Lily said, pushing past Calypso to get to the Heads compartment.

"It's okay, we'll talk later!" Calypso called and Lily grit her teeth. She wasn't sure why she had even listened to Calypso in the first place.

Lily entered the compartment to see the usual Prefects plus a few new faces, but no gleaming Head Boy badge. Instantly there were choruses of "Congratulations!" and "I knew you'd get it, Lily!" from everyone but the Slytherins.

Smiling in gratitude, Lily held up her palms to call for silence and began talking. "Alright, I want to get started so you all can get back to your friends. Welcome new Prefects and welcome back old. I'm Lily Evans, your new Head Girl…and the Head Boy seems to be missing."

"So is Remus," piped a 7th year Ravenclaw named Merrik Bancroft.

As soon as Merrik said it, Remus burst in the closed compartment. "Sorry!" he said breathlessly. "There was a fight between a couple of 4th years, had to break it up. James is right behind me, don't worry."

Lily quirked an eyebrow. "Should I be worried? Did he start it or something?"

Remus bit his lip, realizing he misspoke. "You'll see," he finally mustered and James came sidling quietly in the door, the complete opposite entrance performed by Remus.

"Pott – I mean, James…what are you – " Lily's words died in her throat as James turned around, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose, standing awkwardly as the Head Boy badge flashed on his chest.

"_Potter_? Head Boy?" asked Merrik.

"What was Dumbledore _thinking_…" drawled Bertram Aubrey.

"Did he steal it from the real Head Boy?" asked Ilana Elliot, a 5th year from Hufflepuff.

Gaining a little more confidence, James clasped his hands and rocked back and forth on his heels, surveying all the Prefects. When the chatter died down, James asked dangerously, "Anymore witty remarks at my expense?" He turned to Lily. "I haven't heard anything from _you_ yet." Lily still had her mouth hanging open in shock and all she could do was gesture wordlessly for him to continue. James scrutinized her a second longer before turning back to the Prefects. "You may all think that, with my impeccable pranking record that I do not deserve to wear this badge. You may think I might let more mischief slide by."

James glanced at Lily quickly and began pacing. "But this is not the case. I still have my reputation to uphold. It will not be surpassed by anyone. Now that I've been given authority, I'm not about to abuse it and neither will you. I'll come down twice as hard as any other Prefect if I catch _harmful_ wrongdoing. I hope you can assist me in spreading that to the students of your houses." He paused for emphasis. "Now, I'm going to turn it over to Lily. Full attention, please."

To demonstrate, James turned alertly to Lily and it took her a few moments to find her voice. "Alright then, thank you James. First order of business is the temporary patrol schedule, starting now on the train –"

The rest of the meeting went smoothly and Lily had a good feeling about this year's Prefects. But how did James become Head Boy? Sure he had some leadership qualities, he was admired and respected by the students, but his disciplinary record alone should've prevented him from gaining the position.

Lily shook herself out of her thoughts and realized all the Prefects had gone and James was the only person left in the compartment with her, gathering up parchment, quills and a couple things people left behind. Lily opened her mouth to speak but only a tiny croak came out. She cleared her throat and said, "James…" He stood and turned, tilting his head to the side, looking at her curiously. "C-congratulations on getting Head Boy," she said in a low voice.

Looking relieved, James said, "Thanks, same to you." He paused, looking down at the objects in his hands. "I don't know how I got it."

"You have great leadership qualities, students admire and respect you," Lily said, repeating her earlier thought.

James shrugged, putting down the stuff he had gathered on a seat to sort it better. Lily stood there watching him work for a bit, starting slightly when James asked, "How is this going to work with us?"

Lily sat down heavily, silent for a few moments as she wasn't exactly sure how to answer his question. "We…we can just be friends." She saw James' shoulders slump and Lily got a little irritated. "What did you expect me to say?"

Infuriatingly, James shrugged again. Silence reigned for a few moments before James, still not looking at her, said, "You promised."

Confused, Lily asked, "Sorry?"

Sighing, James finally turned to face her, still crouched in front of the seat, and explained, "You promised it would be the same the next day, you promised we would still be together."

Ice encased her heart and Lily had to take a deep, rattling breath. "Well," she tried to joke, "It was actually a few days later." James just looked at her, no mischievous glint in his eyes. "I," Lily began, looking down at her hands, looking anywhere else to escape James' intense gaze, "I'm sorry. It's…I think you were right about Calypso, but…" Lily paused, not sure how she could put what she was feeling into words. "I don't know. Can we just be friends so we can fulfill our duties?"

James nodded roughly. "Fine. Just friends," he said harshly, collecting the random items left behind and exited the compartment, slamming the door behind him.

Immediately after he left, Lily let out a moan and buried her face in her hands, the tough exterior she was just putting on crumbling. Lily couldn't put how she was feeling into words because she didn't even know what she was feeling. And Lily was sure James thought she was just being –

A thought dawned on Lily…she realized she would have to go sit in the same compartment with him since that's where Rita and Aurelia were. Lily moaned again and banged her head hard against the wall, instantly regretting doing so.

Using every last shred of willpower she contained, Lily got up, collected her belongings and left the compartment, dread and fear weighing down on her lungs and making it hard to breathe.

As soon as Lily closed the door behind her, she turned to be directly face to face with Calypso. "So James is Head Boy? How's that going to work?" she asked, her tone sickeningly sweet.

"Why do you care so much, Calypso?" Lily asked wearily, pushing past her to continue walking down the train.

"What's your problem?" Calypso called to Lily's retreating back. "Did I do something to offend your pretentious nature?"

Lily spun around and glared. "I'm surprised you know a word that big," Lily said and Calypso's mouth dropped. "You did everything wrong. You might've ruined the best thing that ever happened to me."

With that, Lily continued on her way, leaving a stunned Calypso to go back to her compartment silently.

James stepped out from behind the bathroom door where he had slid quickly when he saw Lily exiting the Heads compartment. He had heard the small scuffle between Lily and Calypso and heard what Lily had said. James smiled slightly just thinking about it and leaned against the wall, watching Lily get side tracked into a compartment of giggling 6th year Gryffindors she had tutored a ways down the train.

_You might've ruined the best thing that ever happened to me…_

Whistling, James shoved his hands in his pockets and meandered down the train to his compartment where he could always hear explosions starting.

* * *

Lily finally escaped from the clutches of the gossiping 6th year girls half an hour later, relieved to be going but also dreading going to the Marauders compartment. She didn't want to sit awkwardly with James and she didn't want the people around her to feel awkward. Lily especially didn't want Sirius making any jokes at their expense. It was just strange to be with James and have no clue what her feelings were concerning him. She approached the compartment the Marauders deemed theirs their first year when the group was created and could hear raucous laughter and music. 

When Lily entered the compartment, the first thing that caught her attention was Sirius and Rita dancing wildly on a seat. Aurelia was laughing against Remus' chest, both watching Sirius and Rita's antics amusingly. James and Peter were lazily trading Chocolate Frog cards and chuckling every so often whenever Rita or Sirius tripped and nearly fell. The only empty seat was taken by the wireless, blasting some upbeat song about revenging a wizard who beat the singer in a duel.

"Lily!" Rita shouted, waving to her and almost falling off the seat.

"Whoa!" Sirius said, grabbing Rita's hands and pulling her back on the seat close to him, helping her regain her footing. "You alright?"

Rita grinned foolishly and said, "Yeah, thanks for that." She turned away from Sirius and said to Lily, "Just move the wireless over and have a seat."

Climbing over body parts and a trunk or two, Lily made her way to the seat where the music was blasting from. She moved the wireless and, in mid sit, realized the seat saved for her was right next to James.

"Where were you?" Aurelia asked, tapping her fingers in time with the beat of the music on Remus' arm which was casually slung around her. "James and Remus got back ages before you."

Both James and Lily looked at each other at the same time and glanced away nervously just as quick. "I got sucked into Ava, Wanda, Gloria and Marybeth's compartment for a while. What have you guys been up to?"

Remus looked around. "Pretty much this, at least since I've been here." Aurelia nodded to confirm.

The song ended and, laughing, Sirius and Rita collapsed onto the seat they were previously dancing on. "What spurred that entertainment on?" Lily asked, smiling.

Rita shrugged. "Ask him, he's the one who pulled me up on the seat and started boogieing."

"I felt like dancing and a good song came on!" Sirius protested. He copied Remus and slung an arm around Rita. "And I didn't hear you complain," he said to Rita. She grinned and whispered something to him in his ear.

Lily rolled her eyes. James leaned over and nudged Lily, saying, "How long do you think it will take them to realize they're crazy about each other?"

Smirking, Lily surveyed Rita and Sirius. "Before the end of September," Lily said, nodding her head a moment later as if to affirm it.

James smiled back and looked at Rita and Sirius, shaking his head. "Nah…I say around the second to third week of October."

"Hmmm…" Lily said, turning her head to James, startled to see how close he was. "How about fifteen sickles on that?"

James looked surprised. "Betting on your first day as Head Girl?" James shook his head, hair brushing up against Lily's forehead, whistling low. "Wow, Evans…I underestimated you."

"What do you say? Is it a deal?" Lily asked.

Laughing, James stuck out his hand and Lily took it. "Yes, it's a deal. But I'm afraid you're out fifteen sickles."

"Actually, _Potter_, I think I'll be fifteen sickles richer by the end of September," Lily said, grinning slyly.

They stared at each other for a few more moments before they simultaneously realized that they were still slowly moving their hands up and down in a very vague hand shaking motion. But neither made any move to let go.

James let out a breathy laugh, looking down at their joined hands. "We have a habit of doing this," he said quietly. James rubbed his thumb over the back of Lily's hand and let go, slowly, regrettably and their hands slid away from one another slowly, crawling quietly back onto the owner's laps as if ashamed of their previous act.

Once again, Lily was having trouble breathing. She took a slow, deep breath and looked up from James hand back to Sirius and Rita. They were sitting quite close, talking quietly to each other while Sirius played with Rita's fingers. Lily shook her head. "Can you believe how dense they are?" she said to James. "I guarantee Rita will whine about how she can't read Sirius and has no idea if he likes her or not."

Nodding in agreement, James said, "Yeah, Sirius doesn't share his feelings often, but it's so obvious he cares about Rita more than any other girl he's dated." James watched them a little while longer, then added, "Both idiots, can't believe they haven't realized the other's feelings yet."

Next to Lily, Aurelia snorted loudly. James and Lily turned to see Remus laughing silently and Aurelia posed with a simpering grin. "Why did you just snort?" Lily asked slowly.

Shrugging, Aurelia said, "I think I had a tickle in my nose." With that, Remus let out one bellowing note of laughter, causing Rita and Sirius to break apart momentarily to give him an inquisitive look.

"Well done, Moony!" James said loudly and proudly. "You broke them apart!" Sirius and Rita turned identical shades of red and threw out a few nasty comments before turning back to each other.

* * *

Lily was hoping to spend some time alone with her best friends at the feast, but Aurelia insisted on sitting with Remus and Rita didn't want to "cause trouble by arguing" with Aurelia, so Lily once again sat with the Marauders and, once again, was left a spot next to James. "Look on the bright side," Rita whispered to her at one point, "at least this has given you a chance to plan how you two are going to work together for the year." 

It was true, but Lily still missed hanging out with her friends and didn't like to watch Rita and Sirius' constant flirting or Remus and Aurelia's touchiness or Peter's gloomy face brought on from being excluded. Lily felt like she had to talk to him to brighten him up which she didn't particularly enjoy since he was quite a creepy and uninteresting person.

All in all, the feast went by quickly and soon the Prefects were rounding up the first years of their house. Lily and James were just about to go help orchestrate the madness when they heard Dumbledore said, "Lily Evans, James Potter, could I see you two for a moment please?"

"Oh God, what did I do wrong?" Lily muttered to herself nervously.

Snickering, James pat her back reassuringly and said, "Relax, you worry too much. Dumbledore was always the easiest professor to deal with whenever I got in trouble. But we're most likely not in trouble," James added hurriedly before the apprehensive look could stretch too far on Lily's face.

"Ah, our new Head Boy and Girl," Dumbledore said once they had reached the staff table, clapping his hands together delightfully. "Congratulations to you both, it was well deserved."

"Thank you, sir," Lily and James said together.

Dumbledore nodded. "I just wanted to inform you about a few things that were not included in the papers sent to you over summer break. You two have your own private Heads common room. It is to be used for Prefect meetings and any other time you would like to use it for personal needs. The password is 'lunascope' and is changed after every Prefect meeting along with the individual house common rooms.

"You and the other Prefects also have the privilege of using a very luxurious bathroom, whose password is 'frog spawn soap' and may be changed at will. You will need to schedule a meeting with the Prefect concerning this information and you need to schedule your own personal patrol schedule to introduce then as well."

Lily and James nodded in understanding. "Is that all, sir?" Lily asked.

Dumbledore nodded and both thanked him and turned away. James stopped after a few steps. Lily slowed and turned to face him. "What's wrong?"

"I…I just realized I need to ask Dumbledore something. You go on, I'll catch up later," James said, already heading back to the staff table.

"But I thought we could go check out the common room before heading back to Gryffindor!" Lily called after James.

James slowed slightly, heart pounding just a little more excitedly than usually. "Sure thing, it won't take very long!" James called back without turning, still heading back into the Great Hall.

The professors were still at the table, conversing quietly. "Sir," James said, catching Dumbledore's attention. "Sorry, sir, but, well, I was just wondering why I got the potion of Head Boy."

Dumbledore analyzed him for a moment over his half moon spectacles. "Do you believe you don't deserve the position?"

James shrugged. "It just seems, with my record…" James trailed off and shrugged lamely again.

Adjusting himself in his chair, Dumbledore said, "Well, I believe in second chances, rather 412th chances for you, Mr. Potter. And it isn't a man's past that matters; it's what he does with his future."

Frowning, James looked at the ground and nodded. Why couldn't Dumbledore just _say_ it instead of giving him some limerick to decode? "I also," Dumbledore continued and James looked up, "saw it as a great opportunity for you and Miss Evans to reconcile your differences to show the student body that even the worst of enemies can one day forgive and forget." Dumbledore leaned forward and said, "Do try not to mess up this golden opportunity I'm giving you," and winked. James nodded slowly and grinned, knowing exactly what Dumbledore was trying to say and glad to have him on his side.

Lily waited for James in the hall outside of the Great Hall while he was talking with Dumbledore and together they headed to their common room. It was very similar to the Gryffindor common room, only smaller with more neutral colors. They right away began rearranging the furniture so it was better suited for meetings and planned how they were going to share the responsibility while levitating furniture. "It's such a waste," Lily said as they were leaving. "I'm honestly not going to use this room often, unless I want to escape the noisy common room when studying."

James felt his cheeks heat up and said with as much normalcy he could muster, "I think you might find a little more use for it."

Lily shrugged. "Yeah, who knows? But I'm very excited for a fresh start this year."

Nodding, James said, "Yeah, it's going to be great."

After a few days, James didn't feel great at all and realized exactly what he was in for. With classes stressing on the extreme importance NEWTS, trying to pull together a successful Quidditch team, Head Boy duties _and_ trying to not get his head over inflated with Lily's renewed, albeit formal, friendship…he was completely overwhelmed.

"Come on, James, we've got to patrol the 5th floor," Remus said, tapping James' arm to get his attention.

James sighed, shuffling the Charms homework and Quidditch plays he had been working on around in hopes to organize it a little better before he left. Sirius looked up from his Muggle Studies homework (only taken to drive his parents insane) and glared. "You guys have to do something _again_?" He looked around and saw Peter next to him, doodling on his Transfiguration homework and clapped him on the back. "Peter really misses hanging out with you two."

Peter wrinkled his nose. "Hey!" he whined.

Shrugging, James stood and readjusted his robe. "Sorry mate, it's just me and Lily are still trying to iron out the patrol schedule and we have to pick up a lot of the slack. After the first few weeks it will all calm down."

Sirius looked back down at his papers and began hurriedly scribbling stuff. "Whatever. It's just me and Pete only see you guys in the dorm at night and sometimes at meals."

"Relax," Remus said, looking at his watch.

"Yeah we have the whole Quidditch season to hang out, Padfoot," James said, starting to back up towards the door. "See you later, guys."

Remus and James walked out of the common room, heading down two flights of staircases and trying to ignore Peeves' jolly chorus of "Loony Loony Lupin".

"You wanna take the right and I'll get the left?" Remus asked once they had reached the fifth floor landing.

James nodded. "Sounds good. And Moony –" James called before Remus could start turning away. "Thanks for helping me learn the ropes of this whole Prefect-Head Boy thing. I couldn't do it without you."

Remus smiled shamefacedly and punched James' arm. "No problem, you'll just owe me one."

Awkwardly they went their separate ways. James had yet to catch any wrongdoing and that patrol was no different. He was just about to turn around and head back to the common room when he noticed a thin beam of white light stretched over the dark castle floor. The Prefects bathroom door was ajar. James looked up and down the hallway and pushed the door open just enough for him to squeeze through, pulling out his wand and holding it in front of him.

A flowery smell was all James could breathe in and his glasses instantly fogged up from the heat in the bathroom. He quickly swiped his fingers over his glasses lenses and began squinting through the steam; wand still out even though James thought it was unlikely there was any danger.

The steam began to clear and James saw flowing long red hair covering a little of a bare, creamy back. James' mouth dropped and his blood began pounding in his ears. Could it be who he thought it was? If so, it was the best day of James' life. So many wild, wonderful thoughts were racing through James' brain he barely registered the fact that the gorgeous red haired goddess was turning to the side, revealing –

"JAMES!" a shout that sent James' mind spiraling and crashing regrettably back to reality with a jolt. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?"

James saw Lily snatching up all the clothes she just took off and hurriedly covered herself with them. James shook his head and stumbled, "I, er, saw, door, open…thought, er, danger –"

"WHAT KIND OF _DANGER_ WERE YOU EXPECTING TO FIND IN A PASSWORD PROTECTED BATHROOM AT NINE IN THE EVENING?" Lily screamed.

"I – I, er, well –"

"GET OUT!"

James obeyed, rushing out of the bathroom, tripping over his own feet. He slammed the door shut and leaned against it, catching his breath. A small smile slowly made its way onto his lips and a lovely, tingling shock enveloped him. He walked back to the common room like a zombie, the small strange smile still placed on his lips. He sat down silently and heavily next to Sirius when he got back to the common room and it took Sirius a few moments to realize James was there.

"What happened?" Sirius asked after scrutinizing James for a bit.

James turned his head ever so slowly towards Sirius and did something he never in his life thought he'd do – giggled absurdly.

Sirius stared blankly at his best friend. "Dear God…" he said quietly. "Did you hit your head?"

Quickly James recounted his brilliant story, sighing in the most lovesick way when he finished.

"Do you realize you have the most amazing ammunition to use in your next fight with her?" Sirius said, hands placed casually behind his head.

James came out of his shock long enough to shake his head. "No, that was really embarrassing for her I'm sure. And I want her to see my good side."

Shrugging, Sirius replied, "Well, that's fair, since you've seen many sides of her, two in particular come to mind."

* * *

**Author Notes**: I'd greatly appreciate it, if you have the time, if some of you guys could heavily critique this chapter. I really didn't like it at all. Of course I'll settle for any review submitted ((smiley face)) 

Alright, I'm in three writing classes currently, one requires weekly essays, another requires me to read novels and then write LAP's over them and the other is Newspaper where I have to write four to five articles every three weeks and then coming for three nights for five hours to put together and edit the layout of my section. So basically I don't have much time to write, but I'm trying my best. Thanks for your patience and, if you have none, I suggest getting a bit, for it is a glorious virtue.


	14. No, I was visually violated

Summary: He thought she hated him. She thought she was just bragging rights. He kept missing his chances. She was running away scared. A story of love that follows Lily and James from 6th year until graduation. R/R!

Disclaimer: So no one sues me, I'm not JKR, I could never compare to JKR and you all know that. She is the almighty goddess of all things Harry Potter/magic. Her riches are not mine. Enjoy!

**Chapter Thirteen Summary: **School begins again at Kings Cross Station. Lily is trying to figure out who the Head Boy is while her friends are trying to conceal the fact it's James. It's certainly a shock when James walks into the Head's compartment, wearing a Head Boy badge, but to Lily it's an even bigger shock when she sees him taking authority and behaving responsibly. After the meeting, there is a touchy moment between Lily and James when he confronts her on their being almost a couple last May and, as James tersely leaves her, realizes she has to share a compartment with him since her best friends are sitting with the Marauders. When she enters, the only seat left is next to James. They both observe Sirius and Rita's extreme flirting and make bets on how long it takes them to get together. Lily is subjected to sit with the Marauders again at the feast and afterwards is given instructions by Dumbledore on her Head duties. James talks with Dumbledore alone about his doubts being Head Boy and asks why he appointed James in that position. Dumbledore gives a thought provoking answer, along with saying that it could provide an opportune moment to reconcile his differences with Lily. Sirius shows some signs of jealousy as Remus and James have to go patrol corridors constantly. During a patrol, James notices the prefect's bathroom open and thinks there might be danger in there. He was partly right, for as he walked in James witnessed Lily taking a bath. Lily screams at him and Sirius ridicules him afterwards.

**A/N: A lot of ideas for this chapter came from the genius of ****EndlessMemories**** and ****chocoluver**** Also, the dialogue for the outburst James has at the end was greatly, greatly, **_**greatly**_** inspired by the lyrics of Right Here by ****Staind**

* * *

Lily stormed up the stairs and shouted the Gryffindor password at the Fat Lady, who winced and scolded Lily for her volume. Ignoring her, Lily crawled into the common room, hair still very damp from bath in the Prefect's bathroom, and saw James and Sirius sitting by the fire talking. Lily stomped her away over, Sirius being the first to notice her and quickly warned James. James turned in his seat, his whole demeanor sinking as he saw the angry red hair approaching quickly. "Alright, Lily?" James asked feebly, sinking further still as she came to a halt inches away from him.

"No, I was visually violated," Lily responded, crossing her arms tightly.

Sirius smirked and couldn't resist the opportunity to say something. "Is it still called 'violated' if the 'victim' enjoyed it?"

James glared and smacked his best friend, Lily repeating the action a second later. "Sirius, will you shut it?" he said through gritted teeth, then turned to Lily. "Look, Lily, I didn't mean to – "

"Then what exactly did you mean to do?" Lily asked.

Narrowing his eyes, James defended himself. "I _meant_ to do my job and patrol the hallways. The Prefect's bathroom is not to be used after 8:30 and it was being used at nine, so I was going to investigate."

Lily uncrossed her arms, resting her hands on her hips and took on a slightly lighter yet still dangerous tone, saying, "Alright then…"

"Uh-oh," Sirius muttered.

"…then do you care to tell me exactly how long you were standing there, enjoying the free show?" Lily asked.

James' defensive manner crumbled instantly and his face began reddening. "Any guy would be in shock," he murmured, looking down at his feet.

Lily sighed in disgust and walked to the staircase up to her dormitory, apparently done with the conversation. Sirius snickered. "Well done, mate."

Glowering, James responded, "Like you helped."

* * *

It was completely unbelievable and so rude, even for Petunia's standards. The mail had arrived late that morning during breakfast, right before they were dismissed for class and Lily was shocked to see she had a letter. Since her parents had died, she hadn't received any mail and hurriedly tore it open as she waved goodbye to Aurelia and Rita, who had class while Lily had a break in the common room. She read as she walked back, eager to see who wrote her, the next moment extremely disgruntled to read Petunia's snooty attitude mocking her through the paper. Apparently Petunia's fiancé's mother forced her to write a letter to Lily, telling the wedding was over Christmas break and that Lily was not invited. Lily hadn't thought it possible for her sister to get even more incentive, but Petunia had reached –

"Oh! I'm so sorry!" said the voice that knocked into Lily just outside the common room entrance, causing her letter and the other person's papers to fly all over the hall.

"No, it's my fault," Lily said, immediately dropping to her knees to help the person pick up the mess. "I wasn't watching where…" Lily trailed off as she realized the person who knocked into her was James. It seemed that he realized at the same moment he had run into Lily. "…I was going," she finished lamely.

Both stood together, papers gathered in hands and they began sorting out what belonged to whom. "What did you have?" James asked, shuffling things around.

"A letter," Lily responded, also looking through the papers mostly composed of Quidditch plays for Gryffindor.

"That's it?" James dug around a moment longer and pulled out the letter. "There you go," James said, handing the letter over.

Lily took it, her hand brushing up against his for the briefest of moments. It was enough to give them both a slight rush. "Thanks," Lily responded and then they stood there awkwardly. James resumed the shuffling of his papers and Lily began tapping her letter uncomfortably against her thigh.

After he had straightened his things, James looked up at Lily. "Hey, I'm sorry Lily, about barging in on, well," James shifted his weight. "…you know."

Surveying him for a moment, Lily nodded. "It's alright, I over reacted."

"No, it was completely understandable. I deserved it." Lily grinned ever so slightly and then the awkward silence took control once more. Eventually James inclined his head to the letter. "Good letter?"

Immediately after he said it, James wanted to bang his head against a wall. That was the dumbest thing he could've possibly come up with. Lily didn't seem to notice his distress and looked down at it. "Oh, not particularly. It's from my sister."

James nodded slowly. "Do you not get along with her?" he asked.

Snorting softly, Lily said, "You could say that. We haven't spoken since…since my parents' died and she sent me a letter saying when her wedding was but that I wasn't invited to it."

"That's not very nice."

Lily shrugged. "Well she's not a very nice person."

"All the same, sorry about that."

"Nah, it's okay. At least I won't have to wear some ugly frilly pink bridesmaid dress."

James laughed. "Yeah, that would be horrid."

There was another lull in the conversation. Lily sighed hastily and smacked her hands on the side of her legs. "So, I'll see you later, then?" Lily asked.

James nodded. "Yeah, definitely."

Lily nodded back and gave the Fat Lady the password. "Thanks for listening," she said simply and disappeared behind the portrait opening.

Grinning slightly, James continued on his way to the library with his stacks of Quidditch plays, feeling like the small friendship he and Lily had was being put back into motion blossoming.

* * *

Lily was extremely grateful that James didn't brag around to the whole school that he had seen a very exposed Lily as she predicted he would. It was quite shocking, really, to discover, through a conversation listened to by Aurelia, that James had begun telling Sirius off whenever he brought it up, saying "it was embarrassing for her" and to "drop it". James and Sirius usually never snapped or disagreed with each other and greatened Lily's appreciation towards James for standing up for her.

Even though Lily was more forgiving and compromising where James was concerned, it was still a bit awkward when they were alone together going about their Head duties. It was constant in both of their minds that James had seen a very private part of Lily, "two private parts, actually" Sirius would mutter under his breath whenever James would talk about the discomfort not openly acknowledged but still an undercurrent in everything they did.

Although Lily didn't want to be with James a minute longer than she had to, she found herself with a slight dilemma. Lily was now taking a very advanced Transfiguration course, despite her dislike with the subject, and discovered she understood nothing going on. Since she had tutored so many other people in her six complete years at Hogwarts, she felt maybe someone ought to return the favor. It was a tie between James and Sirius as to who was the best in that particular subject and Lily knew Sirius would not do a proper job of teaching. That unfortunately left her to ask James.

Lily planned to ask him after their next Head meeting, but completely overlooked the omnipresent awkwardness while planning her request. Therefore when the time finally came to confront him about her inadequacies, Lily immediately regretted her plan, but felt there was no other time to do it. "James…" she began timidly.

James stopped his unnecessary straightening of cushions on the sofa in the Head's common room and looked to Lily inquisitively. Lily took a deep breath. "You know…actually, how are you doing in Potions?"

Smiling slightly, James replied, "So much better than last year, thanks to your help. At least I'm above average."

Lily nodded. "That's great."

They stood staring at each other for a moment before Lily continued. "I-I actually have a small favor to ask of you."

James looked extremely surprised. "Sure, what is it?"

Jokingly, Lily said, "You're very brave to accept without hearing what I'm going to ask."

Laughing, James shrugged. "Yeah, I soon realized that little fault of mine after I agreed." They grinned, happy to be sharing a joke for the first time in so long. "So, what's the favor?"

Sighing heavily, Lily sat down on the cushions that James had meticulously and unnecessarily straightened, causing him to glare slightly at her. "I hate to admit it, but I'm doing somewhat poorly in one of my classes."

James' eyes widened in shock and he held a hand to his chest, pretend to stagger backwards in utter disbelief. "What? The great Lily Evans is having _trouble_ with _learning_?" James continued his dramatic act, slapping himself across the face then shaking his head.

Lily kicked her foot out at him as if to punish him for his comments, but there was no threat in it. "I knew you would do this. Now, Shakespeare, would you mind sitting down and listening?"

James gave her a lopsided grin that jarred the slightest, tiniest fluttering within Lily and sat down on top of his mess of cushions. It couldn't escape James' notice that Lily had called him Shakespeare, the old British and muggle playwright whose quotes were thrown between them this time last year. It showed how far their relationship had come in a year's time and James was eternally grateful for it, even if he currently wanted more. James was so lost in his thoughts that he almost didn't hear Lily begin talking again.

"…it's Transfiguration. The subject has never come easy to me but I always made great grades," Lily sighed again and looked down. "This year is so much harder. And I thought, since I helped you last year and since you are the best, I would be really appreciative if you could help me out."

James smiled and pat her knee. "After all you did to help me in Potions when I was completely hopeless before, how could I really say no?"

They mapped out a study schedule which was nearly similar to the one used the previous year when Lily helped James with Potions. There were fewer slots open as James' available time had lessened greatly as he was now captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team.

After they had finished with all their business in the Head's common room, they walked back to Gryffindor Tower together, able to talk nearly freely with a very minimal amount of uncomfortable pauses. When they finally bid the other goodnight, James walked to his dormitory feeling as if he was walking on a cloud, a cloud he hoped would not grow black with angry thunder and lightening ever.

* * *

"Whoa, whoa, whoa…what?" Sirius asked, pretending to clean out his ear. "Ice Queen Evans asked you to do what?"

Remus, sick of Sirius' dramatics and slightly more irritable because of the approaching full moon, leaned close to him and grabbed the top of Sirius' ear, pulling it towards him. "She asked him to tutor her in Transfiguration!" Remus yelled, causing Sirius to yelp and jump away in pain and Peter to choke in his sleep during mid snore.

James snorted at their antics and sighed. "I was shocked too." He paused. "Do you think this means she likes me?"

"Definitely." Sirius replied confidently.

"Or she might just need help with Transfiguration," Remus added more rationally.

Sirius rolled his eyes and turned to Remus. "Since when did Lily need help with any subject?"

But Rita and Aurelia were not especially surprised when Lily told them about her request. "So you like him?" Rita asked.

Lily had to do a double take. "Excuse me?" she asked in disbelief. "Like him? I just need help in Transfiguration."

"Oh yes," Aurelia said, "but you could've asked anyone for help."

Scoffing, Lily said, "I wanted the best and James is the best."

"What about Sirius?" Rita asked indignantly.

With that, both Lily and Aurelia burst out laughing. "Oh please," Aurelia said. "You can't be _that_ blind from love."

* * *

James was immensely proud of himself. He and Lily had been on three tutoring sessions and he hadn't slipped up once about his underlying feelings for Lily. In return, Lily was impressed that James had been just like a friend; she nearly forgot that he very possibly still had feelings for her.

They were now in the midst of their fourth and could not concentrate at all. The common room was unusually rowdy that night; there was a Quidditch match the next day, and James had repeated the same sentence about three times.

After a very large bang and roar of laughter from a group of third years, James slammed his Transfiguration book shut. "Do you want to end the session or go to the Head's common room?" he asked.

Lily copied his movements and closed her book. "Common room, we have a test over this Monday and I don't have any other time to get help with it."

"Same, alright, let's go."

They gathered their things and set off, almost getting trampled by first years running around. "Were we that ridiculous when we were first years?" James asked touchily.

Lily laughed. "_You_ were."

A few minutes later they were settled in the Head's common room, books, parchment and quills all out on a small table. They picked up where they left off, stumbling a little through paragraphs as they had lost their train of thought with all the disorder.

"This is so confusing," Lily sighed after a while, throwing down her quill and stretching slightly. James had to force his eyes not to stare. "There are so many rules and exceptions to the laws of human transfiguration…I don't know how to keep it all straight."

James shrugged. "You just have to figure out little tricks to help you remember what goes to what, I suppose. I can teach you a few of my secrets if you like."

Lily smiled graciously. "That would be great, if you don't mind giving them up." James smiled back and began flipping through the pages of his Transfiguration book, apparently looking for something to help Lily understand the text better. Lily watched him flip through and couldn't believe it; it seemed that James was completely indifferent towards her. At first she was glad, but a second later, she felt a small pain. Did James really lose her feelings for her? _Why would I care about that?_ Lily asked herself and instantly another voice replied, _Because__you like him, a lot._

Quickly Lily shook that thought from her mind and began talking to distract herself. "Thank you so much, James, for all this help and putting up with my hopelessness on the subject."

James laughed. "You're not hopeless, just confused."

Lily shrugged. "Whatever it is, it's probably hard to deal with." She paused. "You've been such a friend to me."

Internally James winced. _I want to be more…_

"And I really am so glad we are friends."

_I'm not._

"You were such a prat."

_I know, Lily, I'm different._

"But now…" Lily paused, deliberating the right word to fit how James had become very close to perfect.

But James couldn't stand it and let the page he was holding onto go, shoving his chair back from the table. Lily looked at him, surprised at his sudden movement. "What?" James asked impatiently, desperately. "I'm now what?"

Lily looked at him, mouth slightly open in shock. James didn't wait for an answer long.

"Listen, I know I've been mistaken, but all I've ever wanted is for you to see the changes that I've made. I've got a lot of imperfections, but I can't see how someone like you, someone so good like you, could just collect them all and throw them in my face whenever you feel like it."

"James – " Lily interjected, but James held his hand up to silence her.

"Let me finish. No matter what you say or do, you've got a way to keep me right here waiting. Even when you get scared for some insane reason and choose to walk away, I'm still right here waiting for you."

Once again, all Lily could do was just look at him. Moments before she thought him indifferent, and now he was admitting that he still liked her. Maybe even loved?

"I've made a commitment to myself; I'm willing to bleed for you." James stopped, and took a deep breath. He had gone very far with his feelings, feelings he's been trying to hold back since the beginning of school. But he couldn't keep it in any longer. He continued bluntly. "I found what I need in you. And I don't know why you can't just forgive me for being such a prat. You keep making me relieve all the mistakes I've made along the way and I hate it. It tears me apart."

James ran a hand through his hair nervously, but Lily could hold no anger against him for the action. What he was saying was making her blush. It was making her sad for tormenting but also causing her heart to soar. James watched her eyes dart around nervously at her hands in her lap and sat down, weary and embarrassed at his outburst.

Eventually Lily cleared her throat and looked up. "What's funny is it's actually _you_ that finds the words to say to keep me right here waiting."

James' face went from disbelief to pure happiness. "Wha…what?" He shook his head. "What does that mean?" He looked at her, hopefulness shining on his face.

Sighing, Lily looked back, saying, "I-I don't know, really." Lily shook her head. "Just-just give me a little time to work it out."

Time, time had been a great tormenter for James. He had waited and waited and waited for Lily to come around. But he supposed time could continue to torment, if there was even a slight chance that Lily could fall for him. He nodded. "Of course."

Both became suddenly shy and looked around to different parts of the room. This was the most they've said about their feelings for one another in a year.

"I think we've done enough work for tonight," Lily whispered, closing her book. "Do you want to walk me back to the common room? I'm rather tired."

James nodded and helped her gather up her things. Lily had quite a power over him; he could hardly ever refuse anything she asked. Love was a dangerous game.

* * *

Author Notes: So I just finished reading Pride and Prejudice (AMAZING BOOK!!!) and I felt like my writing style began to resemble 18th century Britain jargon. It didn't help I had the movie version of the book playing in the background while I was writing.

Also, I dedicate this chapter to a little red headed and high spirited girl named Lily, who I helped take care of and who died at the age of two. Rest in peace.


	15. Finally!

Summary: He thought she hated him. She thought she was just bragging rights. He kept missing his chances. She was running away scared. A story of love that follows Lily and James from 6th year until graduation. R/R!

Disclaimer: So no one sues me, I'm not JKR, I could never compare to JKR and you all know that. She is the almighty goddess of all things Harry Potter/magic. Her riches are not mine. Enjoy!

**Chapter Fourteen Summary:** Lily confronts James about him walking in on her taking a bath and a resolution only comes after he accidentally runs into her and apologizes. Lily appreciates that James wasn't bragging to the whole school that he had seen "two private parts" of her and asks him to help her out with Advanced Transfiguration, which he agrees to. One study session James is acting indifferent towards Lily, which gave her mixed feelings over whether she liked it or not. When she begins thanking him for his help, he looses control and begins to spill out his feelings to her once more. Lily then implies that she might someday want to be more.

* * *

_This will be one of the last nice fall days, _James thought to himself as he watched his Quidditch team practice from a bird's eye view. Already the winter chill was setting into the perfect sixty-degree weather and the wind, which had been almost non-existent a moment before, had begun to pick up, attempting to carry that chill to every living thing, warning them of winter's soon arrival. James sighed…he hated winter. The only good thing about it was the occasional snow fight, but otherwise it was the worst season nature could ever produce. It was much harder to practice Quidditch in cold winter and there was always that nasty draft in the castle that forced him to wear layers of clothing under his school robes, which completely threw off his relaxed cool guy messy attire. During winter, time seemed to stand still, making the dreary months seem longer than the usual three-month season. And everything was dead in winter, dead or asleep, bidding their own time while waiting for the sun to warm everything again.

_Dead, dead cold winter,_ James thought, _Just like mine and Lily's relationship_. Yes, everything was going completely wrong with them. Just a week or so ago, she had given him hope, the best hope and the best gift in the world.

After that night, he walked her back to the common room and gave her his hand to help her into the portrait hole. She had smiled and kept holding his hand until they had reached the inside of the common room. James grinned foolishly at the memory then rolled his eyes. He was being _such_ a twelve year old, getting excited about holding hands as if they had snogged or something. But it seemed every little thing Lily did that progressed their relationship made him light headed and excited.

Even though she had him skipping around the dorm late the same evening, too thrilled to sit still, the next few days they were back to where they were a week before, simply platonic friends. There was no progression; it actually seemed that they had fallen a few steps back. James had asked advice from all his friends and they hadn't a clue what to tell him, even Remus had no answers, and James felt the same. 

A shriek shook James out of his dazed thoughts and he looked down at the mock game he had been daydreaming through, quickly realizing that it was no longer a game, but a huddle of people in the middle of the field. "James!" the voice shrieked again and he saw that it belonged to Joelle Mackenzie who was holding back a dark haired shape. James recognized that it was Rita and rolled his eyes. "They won't stop!" Joelle shrieked again. 

Sighing, James flew down to the mass. Rita and Sirius hadn't been the same latterly either. Instead of constant flirting, there was constant bickering. This was all because Rita had been studying rather close with Hugh Morley, known to have a crush on her. Sirius got insanely jealous. There was an awkward confrontation where Sirius couldn't back up why he was angry with Rita. In return, Rita got extremely frustrated, and there had been either angry silence or awful yelling since then. 

"What's your problem, aiming every single Bludger you get right at my face?" Rita screamed, trying to move forward and writhe out of her teammates' grips.

"I can't help it if you're always in my way whenever I get a hold of one!" Sirius yelled back, just about to break free of his own constraints.

"Hey!" James yelled to quiet them, actually afraid that this time they would begin punching each other, as they had been so close to doing for a week. Winter certainly did kill everything good the rest of the seasons worked hard to create…killing love seemed to be its specialty. "Knock it off you two!" 

Sirius and Rita quieted and quit struggling yet they still cast angry and annoyed looks at the other. "About time you showed up," grumbled Rick Harcourt, one of the people holding back Sirius.

James glared at Rick then turned to Sirius and Rita. The whole reason he had put them on separate teams was in hopes that they would release some of the tension and frustration they had towards each other, not to have them grow in size. "If you two are this bad now, how are you going to be when you're trying to work _together_ on the same team next Saturday?"

They were silent for a moment, looking down at the ground below them. Then Sirius said, "Listen, mate, she was trying to knock me off my broom."

Rita instantly began trying to get to him. "Bleeder!" She turned to James. "I wasn't, he was knocking every damn Bludger right at me, not even _trying_ to aim for anyone else."

This began another uproar of yelling, cursing, and struggling. James put his head in his hand as the chaos around him greatened, wondering what to do concerning his team and his best friend. James looked up just in time to see the ones holding back Sirius slip and he rocketed towards Rita. The ones holding Rita flew back for safety as Rita stayed steady. Sirius slammed into Rita and they began clawing and hitting each other.

James, fuming about their _childish_ behavior, pulled out his wand and, with a loud bang, Rita and Sirius flew backwards quite a few feet, dazed and barely hanging onto their brooms. "That's _enough_!" James said in a low demanding tone. "This is insanity! One minute you're flirting to _death_," Rita and Sirius immediately reddened and looked down, "and the next you're screaming and hitting each other. Listen, you fools in love," the shade of red on each of their faces turned much darker and deeper. "Rita doesn't like Hugh; she was only studying with him because he's the best at Astronomy. There's no need to get jealous, Sirius. Rita has liked you for a long time. She hasn't stopped and she won't stop." James paused and looked at the blood red faces of Rita and Sirius, disgusted with their ignorant behavior. "So you two need to get over yourselves and just realize that you're crazy about each other."

The whole team was silent, everyone staring at James with awe with the exception of Sirius and Rita, who were determinedly looking away from each other. "I will not have this team broken up by your stupidity. Since we obviously can't get anything else done today with your attitudes, team dismissed."

The rest of the players flew slowly down to the field, whispering to each other about the events that unfolded in front of their eyes. Rita and Sirius remained where they were for a long while until James got fed up once more and flew down to Sirius, pulling his arm. "Come on, mate, let's go get changed."

Silence was the only noise the whole ride down to the ground and it was only after the first few steps on land that Sirius said, "So, can I give you that same speech about Lily?"

James' stomach flipped and he looked to his left, away from the side where Sirius was walking next to him. Smiling slightly as Sirius realized he was once again in control of the situation, he continued with, "It won't be as eloquent as your speech, but you two are also 'fools in love' –"

Suddenly James turned to Sirius, hitting him hard on his chest. A look of surprise crossed over Sirius' face. "Mate…wh-what –"

"Just – just don't talk to me about her, alright? At least not in that sense…okay?" James asked his friend desperately.

Sirius looked at his friend for a moment before patting his shoulder. "Sure, sure thing. Let's keep going."

James relaxed visibly but still had terseness to his form. Sirius looked over at his friend curiously, wondering what brought on these sudden feelings of despair. James of course had always been about to loose his mind about Lily, trying to figure out any way to get her to _look_ at him, but there had always been lightheartedness to his desperation. His tone just then had been painful.

Sighing lightly, Sirius looked over his shoulder and saw Rita finally flying down to the ground. How long had she been sitting up in the air, thinking about their fight and James' harsh yet truthful outburst? Sirius reddened at the mere thought of his confidential feelings let out into the 

open to the one person he dreaded discovering his secret. But if what James said was true, then Rita had those same exact feelings and apparently for a longer time…

"Listen, mate, I'm sorry I said all that," James said suddenly. Sirius turned to his friend, realizing that he had been walking in a strange sideways crab walk to watch Rita's decent, that his face was hot and that James had probably been watching his insanity for some time. James smiled slightly at what Sirius supposed was his apparent embarrassment and continued. "I know you're very private about your feelings and all, but you don't understand that _everyone_ knows. You two are so obvious about how much you like each other. The only two people who don't seem to get it are yourselves. It had to be said, I'm just sorry the whole Quidditch team witnessed it."

Sirius looked up from his feet, which he had been studying a moment before, into James' face. "I guess it did need to be said…but I wanted to do it on my own time."

James snorted. "After you two killed each other? I don't think so." They both laughed, feeling a little of the weight resting on each of their hearts (for different reasons) lighten. There was a small pause before James said, "You really need to talk to her about it, mate. Listening to me scream it doesn't have the same effect."

Sirius didn't reply to this and they continued to walk in a silence that lasted until they had gotten well inside the changing room where only a few of their fellow players remained. They tried to joke around with Sirius and James, but their responses were only half-hearted, so the team finished what they were doing and left the room quickly.

Once James had changed, he clapped Sirius on the back for support and exited the same way his players had. Sirius sat heavily on a bench once he was alone and waited for Rita. He didn't have to wait long.

Rita pulled back the flap to the changing tent and took in a short, quick breath at the surprise of seeing someone still sitting there. Her face fell slightly when she recognized it was Sirius, but covered the disappointment quickly, though Sirius caught it and felt his own face fall. She _obviously_ didn't want to talk to him and she _obviously_ couldn't stand the sight of him.

Silence reigned for some time until Rita finally spoke. "I didn't think anyone would still be here…" she said lamely.

Sirius looked down at his hands. "I can leave you alone if you want," he said, looking up at her face. Rita wished he wouldn't, his grey eyes pierced her.

Looking away (and making Sirius' troubled heart sink more), Rita sighed in a reckless sort of way and asked, "Why do you keep fighting with me?"

Sirius chuckled slightly in consternation and said, "You're the one who started yelling at me."

Rita looked up quickly, eyes narrowing and Sirius knew he was in for it. "I only _slightly_ raised my voice because you yanked me out of the common room and down the hall, then you just kept pacing while not making any sense. That's when you started yelling."

"Number one: I don't need an instant replay, I was there, you know," Sirius said, his voice rising in volume. "Number two: that is so not true. You told me to quit being a tongue tied idiot!"

"Aw, did that hurt your feelings?" Rita asked sardonically, starting to use her hands animatedly, a bad sign.

"_Don't _talk to me like that!" Sirius said coldly, jumping up from the bench and clenching his fists. _How_ did Rita get him so worked up like this?

"How would you like me to talk then?"

"I'd prefer it if you wouldn't talk at all."

With that comment, Rita jumped to Sirius, hitting his arm so hard that Sirius flinched back in pain. "What is wrong with you? Why are you being like this?"

"Why are _you_ being like this?" Sirius shot back, getting right back in her face.

"Because –" Rita paused, breathing heavily, then tried again. "Because – "

"Anytime now!"

Rita opened and closed her mouth soundlessly, it was so hard to think when he was this close, then said dumbly, "You know exactly why!"

Sirius didn't think it was so dumb. His face softened and they stared at each other for several moments. Then, without warning, Sirius grabbed her neck and pulled her lips to his. Rita let out a noise of shock, but didn't arch back and promptly hit him as Sirius thought she would. Instead, she responded enthusiastically as soon as the initial shock wore off.

They broke apart some time later, Sirius still holding her around the waist and Rita's hands still resting on the back of Sirius' shoulders. "_Finally_!" Rita breathed.

Sirius laughed, dropping his forehead to hers. They stood like that for as long as they could without kissing again.

When the new lovesick feelings had abated slightly, Sirius grabbed Rita's hand and walked her up to the castle, talking and joking of nothing at all.

* * *

There were great exchanges of money throughout the Quidditch team when news got around that Rita and Sirius finally got together. It even brought Lily and James closer together, as Lily sullenly dropped fifteen Sickles into James' hand from their bet on the train and James teased and ridiculed her to the point where she fought back. They ended their argument with laughter at their own ridiculousness and happiness for the best friends for finally finding their own bliss. Remus was even giddy and playfully teasing Sirius and Rita the week preceding the full moon, a week that was usually full of tension and anger. 

"I'm shocked you separated yourself from Rita long enough to help me out tonight," Remus bantered at near dusk as he got ready to down to the hospital wing.

Sirius reddened slightly, as he had been doing lately at the mention of Rita, and said defensively, "Hey, we're never all over each other in public, we keep that private."

"This is, shockingly, true," James said, digging out his Invisibility cloak and Marauder's Map. "Usually we have to pry you off your birds with a crowbar. With Rita you just hang out cozily."

Sirius raised his chin triumphantly and turned to Remus, who was straightening his oldest, most tattered robes. "See? James vouches for me."

Remus snorted. "Yeah, but James' views aren't worth much, look at his take on the Lily situation."

Thankfully, James was now in place where he could joke about his non-existent relationship with Lily; he had not been able to a week ago. "Kindly shut it, old wise one…you didn't have answers for a bit either."

Peter, who had been watching the exchanges silently, looked out the window and squeaked nervously. "Remus, it's getting closer to sunset. Get going."

Remus nodded appreciatively and threw his wand to Sirius. "See you in a bit," he said, waving as he walked out of the dorm.

"Remus!" Lily shouted as said person stepped off the staircase into the common room. Lily had just walked in from tutoring a 4th year and barely sat down before seeing Remus. He waved at Lily from across the room. "How about a game of chess?" she called.

Shaking his head, Remus feigned a thick and nasal-y voice and replied, "I feel awful, I'm going down to the hospital wing."

Lily's face fell slightly, realizing instantly that tonight there was a full moon. "I'm sorry; do you need company walking down?"

At first Remus wanted to refuse, he usually didn't like any social contact the day of the full moon, but there was such happiness about his friends that he felt appreciative of all the people 

around him. "Sure," Remus called and waited for Lily to join him. She took his arm and together they walked down to the hospital wing.

"Where's Aurelia?" Remus asked. "I haven't seen her at all today."

Lily huffed and acted put out. "Are you saying you'd rather have _her_ walking you to the hospital wing?"

Laughing, Remus said, "Oh yes, you are absolutely horrid." They shared a grin. "No, it's just weird. This is the first day since school started that we haven't seen each other and I was just curious."

At first, Lily smiled, happy for her friends, then instantly a pang of jealousy followed. She shook it away and replied, "She's been down at Hagrid's hut all day. She was going to ask if you wanted to go with her, but you weren't awake yet."

"Yeah, I didn't sleep much last night. I think that's when I started getting sick," Remus lied effortlessly. Lily didn't say anything, but patted the arm she was holding. They finished their journey in silence.

After Lily said her goodbyes to Remus and wished him well, she stood outside the hospital wing, not sure what to do with her rare free time. It was a nice day for October, one of the last nice fall days, Lily supposed, and this made her decide to enjoy the weather before winter came in all of its brutality. 

Not that Lily didn't like winter, snow was one of her favorite things, it was just too cold and too long. Winter never seemed to end. And then when spring finally came, it was like a fast slide right into summer. 

By the time her thoughts on winter had wrapped up, Lily had circled half of the lake and the sun was beginning to set. She decided to turn around and head back to the common room. Halfway back she saw Madame Pomfrey walking back to the castle and Lily's heart went out for Remus. She couldn't begin to comprehend what he had to go through and it made her wish there was some way she could hel – 

Lily stopped in mid thought and mid step. She heard voices whispering heatedly, along with what sounded like squeaking. She looked in front of her, straining her eyes to see someone and, after a loud, aggravated sigh (which made her jump), part of a leg appeared from nowhere and, just as quickly, disappeared again.

Shaking her head, Lily looked again and couldn't see anything, but she could still hear whispers. Lily looked up at the setting sun, then back at the castle. Impulsively, she decided to follow the whispers to confirm she wasn't losing her mind.

It wasn't easy following a phantom voice; human ears are not so well tuned to the sounds around them. A sound could seem as if it's coming from the left, but in reality, it could be coming from 

behind you. It was even harder since Lily was in open nature and kept walking a weaving path trying to decipher exactly what direction the whispers were coming from.

Suddenly the whispers stopped and Lily froze too, looking around her. The edge of the Forbidden Forest was what consumed her eye line and to the left, at a safe distance away from her, was the Whomping Willow. Lily ran a hand through her hair, trying to decide if she wanted to keep moving in the direction she had been before the whispers stopped or if she wanted to give up and head back to the castle. 

Movement to the left caught her attention. Quickly, a body appeared and another one right after. Lily squinted, to afraid to move forward for a better look and risk getting caught spying, and recognized James Potter and Sirius Black. They stood for a moment, dangerously close to the Whomping Willow, which was beginning to sway angrily, and then suddenly the branches stopped their near lethal movement. James and Sirius looked around and went through the branches and to the backside of the tree where no one could see them. 

Except Lily.

In complete shock, Lily watched as James and Sirius were replaced with a beautiful stag and a black dog. They stood there for another moment, then the black dog ran around to the front of the tree and seemingly disappeared right into it while the stag still stood behind the tree, waiting.

Lily stood there, not believing her eyes. The only explanation was that James and Sirius were Anamagi. But how? Becoming Anamagi was extremely advanced _and_ illegal.

_Are you kidding? It's the Marauders, they probably don't even know what illegal is_, Lily thought to herself. After a moment's hesitation, Lily turned and started walking back to the castle before she was caught by James for discovering his secret or a teacher for being on the grounds after dark.

Lily continued to ponder the situation her entire walk back to the common room. She knew James and Sirius were the best in the school at Transfiguration, but becoming Anamagi was far, far, _far_ more advanced than being the best in the school. Yet Lily didn't doubt it with all the talent those boys possessed, what with all the amazing pranks she had seen pulled off in the seven years she'd been at Hogwarts, even if she did everything in her power to not be impressed. Lily began a silent argument with herself.

_Why would they even need to become Anamagi in the first place?_

_Isn't it obvious? Humans can't go within reach of werewolves without being mauled. But fellow animals…they could potentially be around a werewolf._

_That's how James helps him, I've always wondered since he said he had to "help a friend" that night._

_And if you recall, they came back late that night._

_All in all…that's the most courageous and caring thing I've ever heard. James is risking government punishment to help Remus._

Subconsciously, Lily decided to try to move things a step furtherwith James, no matter how scared she was.

* * *

The Great Hall was positively glowing on Halloween of 1977 and all the students of Hogwarts were cheerful and stuffing as much as the glorious feast in their mouths as they could. This was the best feast of the year, more so than the opening feast or the one held on the last day of school but possibly tied with the Christmas feast. Every student looked forward to the decorations and the festivities, including the terror of Peeves and the exquisite magic of the Marauders. Every student second year and up would greatly appreciate whatever prank was pulled by the infamous foursome for it was their last year at Hogwarts and next Halloween wouldn't be half as exciting.

The Marauders were currently stuffing their faces, along with the rest of the school, looking as innocent as can be. Rita, Aurelia and Lily sat with them, dubiously looking at the boys, waiting for the slightest sign that they were about to say a few words to begin the havoc. 

"Can you just warn us first, in case we're going to be scared out of our wits?" Aurelia asked the boys in a pleading voice.

James looked up from his food questionably. "I haven't the slightest idea what you are going on about, Aurelia dear. More treacle tart?"

Aurelia shook her head. "No thanks. I just remember that Halloween a year or two ago when a succession of loud bangs went off during the demonstration. I hate loud, unexpected sounds." She turned to her boyfriend. "You know that, Remus."

Remus nodded. "Of course, but I don't know why you are talking about loud sounds. I thought we were just enjoying a nice, quiet, calm Halloween feast." He took a drink from his goblet, posture formal yet his eyes were twinkling and Lily swore she saw him wink at Peter.

"Well, if I get dirty or wet or changed in any way, you all are going to get it bad," Rita said, looking at Sirius in particular.

Grinning, Sirius said, "As much as I would love to know how bad I would get it," he winked at Rita who in return rolled her eyes, "I don't know what action I could commit that would make you – what was it? – dirty, wet, or changed."

Immediately after Sirius said, the boys shared strange glances at the unexpected innuendo and hilarity broke out among them. Sirius especially buckled over with laughter while Peter choked on his steak and Remus gagged on his pumpkin juice. Rita glared. "You all are infuriating."

A slow rumbling began to fill the hall, Aurelia muttered a small "oh no" and the whole hall began buzzing with excited whispers. The doors to the Great Hall opened magically and four gigantic pumpkins far larger than Hagrid's came rolling towards the tables. On each pumpkin, a face of one of the Marauders was carved with a glowing light illuminating it from the inside. 

The students would've been frightened that four giant pumpkins were rolling closer; ready to crush them without remorse, but everyone knew that a) those four pumpkins wouldn't fit through the Great Hall doors and b) the Marauders had never done a prank to intentionally harm anyone. They were soon proved right; as the pumpkins came an inch away from the entrance, they dissolved into what seemed like millions of orange bats flapping into the Great Hall and hovering around the ceiling. 

As the students continued to look, the bats began to spell out "Happy Halloween! Love, the Marauders". In the next instant, the words broke apart and the bats turned into what seemed like _billions_ of orange circles. They came raining down on the students and soon the school saw they were little chocolates wrapped in orange foil. On each wrapping, a face of a Marauder was stamped in, identical to the ones carved in the pumpkins.

The Great Hall erupted into chairs, all but the Slytherins giving the group a standing ovation. Even McGonagall, Slughorn and Dumbledore were on their feet, applauding amazing magic for a few seventeen year olds. The Marauders stood on the benches, Remus and Peter waving while James and Sirius pumped their fists in the air and took great swooping bows while blowing kisses and mouthing thank you's. 

Lily was applauding along for the first time in the history of all the Marauder pranks, stopping every now and then to hold out her hands to catch the falling chocolates. The ones that fell immediately around her seemed to be only of James' face and Lily rolled her eyes, heart contradictorily fluttering just slightly.

The prank pulled made her cheer up. Not only was she down about the latest horrendous terror of Voldemort, but also Lily could safely say she was one of the few in the school who didn't enjoy Halloween as much as everyone else did. Lily couldn't even explain why she wasn't a fan of the holiday. Every single Halloween since she was a little girl, Lily got an awful foreboding feeling the whole day. At night it was the worst, it almost hurt. It was as if something terrible was going to happen any second. But once the clock struck midnight, the feeling went away instantly. Lily just supposed it was the spookiness of the holiday that creeped her out, she had never been able to sit through horror movies, but the feeling was odd and uncomfortable.

Once the ruckus had settled, James sat down next to Lily and let out a long breath. "That was fun. Did you enjoy the prank? Or was it on the maturity level of an eight year old, as most of our pranks are?" James teased.

Smiling, Lily said. "I enjoyed this one; I think your best yet." James laughed and bowed in gratitude. "I can't believe you remember half the things I said to you."

Shrugging, James said, "I remember just about everything you've said to me, insult or not."

Lily's stomach flipped, but covered her own uncomfortable moment by asking, "Will you let me in on the secret behind it all?"

James scoffed and patted Lily sadly on the shoulder, looking at her as if she was a three year old who didn't quite grasp the workings of the world. "Lily, dear, a magician never gives up his secrets. He dies with them locked in his heart."

Even though James was joking and he said the statement with a ridiculous French accent, Lily grimaced at his use of the word die. _What_ was wrong with her?

James' smile faltered looking at her, for Lily's expression had just turned somber. "Lily, are you alright?"

She nodded and grinned half-heartedly. "Yeah, I'm fine. I probably just ate too much food." James knew this wasn't so, he had been watching her all night as he usually did and she had only picked at her food. "I think I'm just going to go to the common room and relax in front of the fire."

Nodding, James asked, "Do you want company?"

"Oh, if you want to come with me. But don't you want to finish the feast?" Lily asked. She knew James took advantage of every meal presented to him, much like Sirius did.

James shrugged. "It's almost over and I've already sampled everything." He jumped up from his seat and offered his arm. "Allow me to escort you, m'lady."

Laughing, Lily stood and took his arm and together the two walked out of the Great Hall, not realizing that their friends were sharing happy looks behind their backs.

"This is nice," James said once they had settled themselves on the couch comfortably. "It's very peaceful when it's empty." They had a few precious quiet moments with the common room to themselves.

"Yeah," Lily agreed, picking at her nails. "I've been getting a lot more peace lately, though, so I guess I don't really appreciate it."

James looked at her inquisitively. "What do you mean?"

"Well it's just Aurelia spends a lot of time with Remus and Rita spends a lot of time with Sirius and I spend a lot of time being with myself." Lily sighed. "And whenever I do hang out with them, it's usually with you guys." Lily looked up and hurriedly said, "No offense or anything –" 

"None taken."

"– but I just miss my best friends."

James nodded. "I know what you mean. I hang out with Pete, but he's not a very exciting person and I spend most of my time helping him with school work." James laughed. "I hate studying and I spend most of my time doing that." Sighing, James paused. "I rarely see Remus and I see Sirius at Quidditch, but even now, that time is his and Rita's. Don't get me wrong, I'm really happy for them, but…" James trailed off and Lily picked up.

"But you want time with just him." 

James nodded gratefully. "It seems that lately I've spending more time with you than I have with my mates."

Lily smiled. "Same here."

There was a small awkward pause. Lily shook her hands and sighed, then adjusted herself on the couch. "So, how did you and the Marauders decide to start pulling pranks?"

James grinned, happy to be talking about a subject he was comfortable with discussing. "Well, we all sort of landed in the same compartment and me and Sirius hit it off right away. He tried to pull this ancient prank on me and my dad has taught me all of them, so it backfired and we laughed about it." Lily smiled and nodded. "Then Remus and Peter came in, saying all of the compartments were full and if they could please sit with us and we said sure. Then, as an icebreaker, Sirius and me pulled a harmless prank and introduced ourselves. Remus wanted to know how we did it and Peter was amazed, so we started talking about that. It all just snowballed from there."

The common room began to fill with people but Lily and James continued talking and hogging up the couch. Soon their friends joined them, but it was short lived as Remus, Rita, and Peter were all very tired and the others who weren't felt like a third wheel staying with Lily and James.

The twosome continued talking and, before they knew it, the common room was empty again. They had gotten rather close, both physically and socially, while talking the whole night. At one point Lily had asked James if she could stretch out. He said yes, slouching against the arm of the couch with his legs propped up on a chair left behind by Aurelia. Lily proceeded to put her feet in his lap and they continued their conversation as if it was perfectly normal for the two of them to be like this together, even if each of their insides were twisting into small knots.

"You did not!" Lily said, laughing and lightly kicking a grinning James' leg. "You really did that to your poor mother?"

Shrugging, James ran his hand through his hair. "She wouldn't let Sirius come over because I accidentally blew up half the sitting room. And she didn't believe that I forgot she was deathly afraid of snakes, when I really did forget…"

Lily rolled her eyes. "I don't think her grounding you justifies filling the kitchen floor full of snakes when she walked in. How did you do that at twelve, anyway?"

With a smirk, James leaned back on the couch with his hands behind his head and said, "What can I say, I guess I'm just especially gifted."

"I don't think the Ministry agreed with you," Lily said doubtfully, her heart racing just a little faster than normal. The things that used to make her want to feed James to an army of hungry tigers were now making her blood race. The way his unruly hair fell into his eyes, the way his shirt was just tight enough to give her a mental image of the Quidditch muscles that resided underneath, the way his eyes sparkled in the firelight, and the way his lips quirked just so when he smiled. He was beautiful.

_Stop it,_ Lily mentally slapped herself. _Stop letting him hypnotize you. You're just friends._ Lily averted her eyes randomly; just to break the trance he was putting her in, and found the clock above the mantelpiece. "We really should get to bed," Lily said, nodding her head towards the time. "Three in the morning is pushing it, especially since we have class tomorrow."

James let out a sad sigh. They were having such a great conversation. He had caught her checking him out more times than acceptable for Lily's standards. James felt he had been so close; he was just waiting for the right moment to tell her. "You're right," he finally said and stood, holding out his hand to help her off the couch. Lily accepted it and they stood there for a few seconds that felt like an eternity, hands still grasped as they stared at each other with an almost painful intensity.

_Stop!_ Lily's mind yelled again and Lily started. James looked at her with concern but Lily began walking to the girl's stairs before he could ask her what was wrong.

Just before Lily stepped on the first stair, she turned around, a little surprised to see James watching her every move, his hand in midair at the same place where her own had been. "I had a lot of fun tonight," she said, waiting for him to respond. James could only manage to clear his throat and nod. A few seconds of silence passed before Lily finally said, "Right, goodnight then," and proceeded up the stairs.

For some reason James stood in the exact same position Lily left him in. That had been his chance to tell her and now he would have to wait. He may never be able to tell her; Lily usually freaked out whenever things got too personal between them and avoided James for many weeks.

But James wasn't going to let that happen again. And he was going to be a man and, finally, tell her everything he felt without downplaying anything as he had done in the past. She had to know the complete and total truth.

Unfreezing himself, he raced up the stairs and banged into his dormitory room, where the other occupants of the room were sleeping. Remus, being the light sleeper that he was, woke up with a start and squinted into the darkness of the room. "James? What the hell are you doing? I'm trying to sl—"

"I'm going to tell her," James interrupted. "I'm going to do what you told me and tell her. But I've got to do it now before she goes to bed…" And with that, James faced the full-length mirror in their room and said, "Girl's tower!" stepping into the mirror he and Sirius charmed ages ago as it became liquid.

There was momentary blackness, then James was stepping into the landing that led to all the girl's rooms. He raced up the winding stairs to the top of the tower, where the seventh year girl's rooms were. Once there, James steeled himself and gently knocked on the door, so as not to wake up the other occupants of the room. 

A few seconds later, Lily opened the door just enough for her to look out into the hallway. "James? How in the world did you get up here?" Lily asked, opening the door a little wider and leaning against the doorframe, already dressed in pajama bottoms and a black tank.

James just shook his head and placed a hand on the wall to steady himself. "Look, I barely know you. I don't know your parent's first names. I don't know what you played with as a child or if you ever wore glasses and I have no idea why you strive to be the best student in the school." James paused, dwelling on her beauty as she looked at him, puzzled. "But I do know the curves of your face. And I know every strand of emerald in your eyes. I know the first day we had a civil conversation was the best day of my life and each day without you loving me has been hell." James paused and stared into Lily's wide, shocked eyes. Agonizing seconds passed before James broke the quiet and said, "Pl-please say something…"

Lily opened her mouth to speak, but closed it just as quickly and shook her head, looking lost. "I don't know what to say…" Lily said, lowering her face against the doorframe. "It's too late to deal with this."

Letting out a rasp that was supposed to come out as a laugh, James asked, "Too late time wise or too late in our relationship?"

Lily looked up into James' face, the intensity of her eyes making his heartache. "What relationship? We aren't anything, we are just friends."

"That still counts as a relationship," James said, his voice low as he leaned towards her slightly. "And I want to be more than friends." He let out another rasp-like laugh. "Hell, I've wanted to be more than friends for six years, but you never wanted me. And I guess you'll never want me—no, Lily, let me finish." Lily had been about to interrupt but James stopped her. 

"What you don't understand is _I need you_. I honestly don't know if I can go on without you. I know this sounds cliché and too much like a bad romance novel –" Lily snorted softly through her nose as she let out the smallest smile "– but it's just how I feel. If you can't deal with that and if you're going to run away from something real, that's your problem. But you can always count on me to be there for you, one hundred percent, no matter what."

Lily lowered her head again to escape from the pain in his eyes; this time her head brushed against his chin, he was so close. "I…I guess I'm just scared. I'm scared of this power you have 

over me, it makes do and think things that are so not me." James couldn't help but grin at this. "And, I guess I'm also scared of losing you, losing that power you have over me. I think that, if we're friends, I won't lose you. I love being with you, I finally realized that. It's just, relationships don't work for me and I think if we get into a relationship that I'll lose you, one way or another," Lily said, looking up once more, her nose touching James' and her eyes slightly unfocused due to her proximity to him. Lily brushed her lips ever so lightly against his and James leaned in to really capture her mouth, but Lily pulled back just as he leaned in, causing him to miss. 

James groaned and righted himself, looking into her eyes. "I'm glad you've realized that, Lily, but honestly…if you keep doing this to me, if you keep hurting me like this, I don't know if I can stand it. You're going to lose me if you keep toying with me like this."

Lily opened her mouth to retort, but she couldn't find her voice. She just shook her head, a tear falling down her face. "I'm sorry…" she whispered. James just looked at her, trying to figure this amazing girl out as tears slipped down.

Suddenly, James pulled her out of her hiding place behind the door and wrapped his arms around her, resting his head on her shoulder. Lily put one hand to his back and another in his hair. James pressed his face into her neck, begging her silently. Lily felt his pain and his desperation and it broke her heart to say the next few words, but her logical mind required her to say it. "We can't ever be together. It wouldn't last, it wouldn't work. We argue too much and our personalities don't match. Just let us go, accept that."

James made a choking sound and pressed her closer to him. "I know we're meant to be together," James said desperately, "Please, Lily, give us a chance, please…" He kissed her neck, her chin, her cheek, her nose, her forehead, every inch of her face, trying to make her feel how right it really was, how natural it was for them to be with each other.

"No, James…stop," Lily said, though her words were weak and she felt herself giving in. _But I can't, I have to stay strong. I've been weak for too long, I have to be strong. _Lily untangled herself from his arms, trying to ignore the hurt in his eyes. "Goodnight, Potter," she said, shutting the door lightly. As soon as the handle clicked quietly into its rightful place, Lily slid down the door, feeling more tears come. She hated herself from walking away from something that most people would kill for, but her mind told her it was the right thing to do. "Then why does it feel so wrong?" Lily muttered to herself, curling up against the door and drifting off to sleep, her face still wet from tears.

* * *

Author Notes: Ten points to the appropriate house if you can tell me where James' speech (Look, I barely know you...) to Lily came from.


	16. Be nice to know why you’ve gone mental

Summary: He thought she hated him. She thought she was just bragging rights. He kept missing his chances. She was running away scared. A story of love that follows Lily and James from 6th year until graduation. R/R!

Disclaimer: So no one sues me, I'm not JKR, I could never compare to JKR and you all know that. She is the almighty goddess of all things Harry Potter/magic. Her riches are not mine. Enjoy!

**Chapter Fifteen Summary: **Things weren't going well for couples at Hogwarts until Rita and Sirius finally started going out, then love was in the air despite the winter chill. Lily escorts Remus to the hospital wing for his monthly transformation, although he doesn't realize she knows the deal. Lily hears invisible voices and gets curious, only to witness James, Sirius, and Peter transforming into Anamagus. Luckily, she adopts a more positive outlook for their lawbreaking. Halloween occurs with much joy pervading the school, even if Lily feels a bit on edge the whole day. Lily excuses herself, feigning illness, and James escorts her back to the common room. They stay up most of the night talking and James admits to Lily that he loves her. Lily's illogical mind refuses him once again and instantly regrets doing so as soon as the words come out of her mouth.

**A few plot points were inspired by Lexie H, props to her!**

* * *

"Lily? Lily? Honey, wake up."

Lily's half dream, half reality subconscious wanted to pretend it was James' voice saying those words to her in some distant future together, but the conscious side of her realized the voice was far too high pitched to be James. A horrible jolt went through her body as her conscious self comprehended what her subconscious had been imagining and Lily rasped out a sob.

"Are you okay, Lily? You know you're on the floor, right? You need to get up…"

Lily shook her head, eyes still closed. "No, no. I ruined it. It's all over. I'm such an idiot…I know what I want now. God, why couldn't I have realized it sooner?"

"Whats'matter?" a croaking voice asked.

"It's Lily…she's, well, she's a mess is what she is. Come help me, Rita."

Somewhere inside her mind, Lily realized it had been Aurelia coercing her to get up, but Lily didn't see why that mattered. What mattered right now was her agony and the agony that she had inflicted on James. "I messed up. I missed my chance…" she continued to ramble on, ignoring reality as she swam lost in her memories.

"How much you wanna bet this is some'tin to do with James?" the croaky voice belonging to Rita said, much closer this time.

"Not now, Rita, let's just get her off the floor."

"Do you guys _mind_?" another voice said. "I don't have to be up for another half hour and I need my rest."

"Shut it, Calypso, or I'll make it so you never wake up again."

There was a small "hmph!" of indignation, then all was silent except for Lily's ramblings as Aurelia and Rita grabbed Lily and pulled her off the floor.

"I wonder what happened," Aurelia said.

"We'll get the dirt from Remus and Sirius later," Rita grunted as they heaved a moaning Lily onto the bed.

"But what if James is in the same state that Lily's in…not making any sense?" Aurelia asked.

Silence followed and Lily slowly began to become aware of what was going on around her. She opened her eyes and sat up to find her disheveled friends eyeing her cautiously. "Do –" Her voice came out as a croak. She cleared it and tried again. "Do you want to know what happened?"

Shrugging, Rita said, "It would be nice to know why you've gone mental."

Lily tried to glare, but instead tears came. She took a deep, rattling breath and said, "James and me talked forever last night and at the end of our conversation, he basically said that he loved me and never wanted to part with me."

Aurelia sucked in a breath the same time Rita's mouth dropped open. Lily saw Calypso sit up straight in bed out of the corner of her eye. "He said _what_?" Calypso snapped.

Rita glared ferociously in her direction and Calypso didn't say another word. Once Rita was sure she had shut up, she turned to Lily. "We knew it was something like that. We knew his feelings were more than just getting you into your knickers."

"What did you say back?" Aurelia asked quietly. She looked angry, as if she already knew the answer. Lily very slightly cowered under the stare.

"I said we couldn't be together."

Usually Rita was the one with the short temper when it came to Lily and James' relationship. That's why Lily was shocked that, even with the expression on her face right before; Aurelia was the one who hit the bedpost so hard it rattled precariously. "Damn it, Lily!" she nearly yelled. "What the hell is the matter with you?"

Redhead anger flared within her and Lily squared her shoulders, eyes flashing. "Last night my thought process was that, if we started going out, it would be easier to lose him. Of course after sleeping on it I realize that I was somewhat wrong –"

"Somewhat wrong!?" both Rita and Aurelia yelled.

"Shhhh-sh!" Calypso said dramatically and Rita turned suddenly, taking a menacing step towards her. Calypso's bed was luckily next to the bathroom and she took the opportunity to fly out of the sheets and run into it, locking the door deftly behind her.

"What in the world is wrong with your head, Lily? How can you be so smart and so dumb at the same time?" Aurelia continued while Rita and Calypso had their short showdown. "You've been so flighty with him, I'm _shocked_ he even still speaks to you. Of course he loves you, why else would he still acknowledge you after all you've done to him!"

"He's done stuff to me, too!" Lily protested.

Aurelia rolled her eyes. "Two or three years ago and he only did it to get your attention. He didn't know he was hurting you and, guess what, he's _grown up_ since then, you prat!"

"If you were scared of losing him by being in a relationship, how do you think a friendship will survive after last night?" Rita said, eyes accusing Lily.

The severity of the situation hit Lily more in those few words than her slow realization when she woke up. She clutched her hands to her head and shook it wearily. "I know, I know. Oh God…what am I going to do." She sniffed.

Aurelia made a disgusted sound and crossed her arms. "I honestly don't feel sorry for you. You've had this epiphany coming for a long time."

For once, Rita was the level headed one in the group. She climbed on the bed next to Lily and put an arm around her shoulders. "Do you think you can make it through classes today?"

Lily didn't answer immediately, but after a moment she shook her head slowly. Rita nodded. "That's what I thought. And I suppose you don't want to leave the dorm either?" Another shake of the head. "Yes, alright. I can bring you up food if you want." A nod. "Fine. You do need to think some things over today."

Rita got off the bed and pulled an angry Aurelia with her out of the dorm, both still dressed in pajamas with their hair flying in every direction.

"Where are we going?" Aurelia asked.

Rita didn't answer until they were in the common room, heading towards the boy's staircase. "We're going to figure some things out with the Marauders, well, the Marauders minus a broken one."

* * *

"Damn," Sirius said thoughtfully. "No, we didn't know that. James won't move a muscle; he has just blinked at us."

Rita nodded satisfactorily. "Just as I thought. I propose we stay completely out of the situation."

"Agreed," Sirius said.

Aurelia glared. "Excuse me?" she said coldly. "Let the two gits work it out themselves? I don't think so."

"Funny how it's you who's being completely unreasonable, Aurelia, instead of the usual Rita," Remus said. Aurelia glared at her boyfriend and stalked off.

Whistling low, Sirius said, "You're in for it now, mate."

Remus shrugged. "I agree with Rita, we need to stay out of it. Maybe our interference has helped prevent them getting together."

Shaking her head, Rita replied, "No, that was all them."

* * *

November…

All the color was about to leave the world.

The brilliant oranges, yellows, and reds coating the trees were beginning to crinkle brown and blow off in the winter breeze. The vibrant green blades of grass were trying their best to beat the trees to turn a dull, dead color. The sun would shine brilliant light less and gray clouds would soon obscure the little colors remaining.

There was no color left in James or Lily's life.

After Halloween, James simply gave up on Lily after her encouragement they couldn't be together. He began to avoid her as much as possible and, when Head duties wouldn't allow him to do that, he spoke directly to her as little as possible. Lily hated the distance James put between them, but she felt she had caused the distance and felt too guilty and self-conscious to say anything about it. She desperately missed their friendship and desperately wanted to be more, but there was no way now that she ruined it and that James gave up.

Lily didn't talk to anyone about how she felt. She was scared that her friends would harass her to make a move when she knew it wouldn't go anywhere. She wasn't about to share with the Marauders and under no circumstance would she confront James.

The simple fact of the matter was the Lily missed James, much more than she wanted to admit. She had kept these thoughts repressed for so long and now they were desperately bursting out of her. The deep and intense feelings she had wouldn't leave her alone. They tortured her in class, during meals, while faking a smile with friends. The only way to get rid of them was to fall asleep, but then Lily was usually plagued by dreams depicting her reaching to James and him reaching back, fingers almost touching until some unseen force made their hands drop and their bodies pull away from each other. When Lily woke up, the thoughts continued a new day of torture.

James face and voice refused to leave her mind alone, just as Lily's had refused to leave his for so many years.

It was worse at that moment, too, since Lily was in the nearly empty common room working on the Transfiguration homework that made no sense. _If things were the way they were supposed to be, James would be helping me with this right now,_ Lily thought to herself and threw down her quill in exasperation with an irritated sigh.

"Can I help you with something?" a low, quiet voice said next to her.

Lily's heart stopped beating in her chest. It was the voice that had been haunting her every thought for a week. She looked up to confirm that James was standing next to her and immediately wished she hadn't.

He looked terrible.

There were dark circles under his red-rimmed eyes and his hair was sticking up in every direction, more than usual. Lily wondered if she looked as bad as he did, she knew she looked in the mirror every day but the reflection never registered in her head since James had taken residence there…the mirror was just part of a routine.

James continued to look at her in an inquisitively helpful manner and Lily couldn't find her voice. Despite the fact he looked absolutely terrible, he was still beautiful.

The silence stretched longer and James looked more uncomfortable with each passing second. "Erm, well, if you'd rather be alone –"

"No!" Lily's voice revived itself. "No, I-I'm actually in dire need of some tutoring."

James looked over her shoulder. "Transfiguration?"

"Yeah," Lily said. It felt so strange speaking to him out of free will when Head duties hadn't obligated them to communicate. "Damn Transfiguration. I don't understand anything going on in the class."

The corners of James' mouth twitched, but he kept his composure and sat down across from her. They both took in a short breath, it was the closest they had been since Halloween, and it gave each of them a shiver. "It's not that hard, once you get the basic concept," James said, his voice wavering ever so slightly.

Lily looked at him blankly. "What's the basic concept?"

"Yikes," James said casually, turning her book slightly more towards him so he didn't have to completely strain himself reading upside down. "You better make yourself comfortable; we've got a long way to go."

It was strange how quickly Lily and James rediscovered how to be together at ease as they worked through the kinks in Lily's homework. It was almost as if there had never been a conflict, the only indicator there ever had been one was when they accidentally touched. Both stopped what they were doing to look at the each other. Then one would clear their throat and get back on track.

Just as James and Lily had worked through most of her homework, the common room door opened. They both looked up, ready to pounce on the student who came back to the common room after hours and were surprised to see an older wizard hobble through.

However, James was much more surprised than Lily. "Dad?" he asked in disbelief.

The older wizard straightened as the door swung shut behind him and laughed. He opened his arms; the movement caused his rich dark red sweeping robes to swirl around him elegantly. "James!" he boomed and, despite his obvious age, his voice was clear and strong.

James jumped up from the table he and Lily were working at and ran to his dad, giving him a hug. "What the hell are you doing here, old man?" James asked, playfully punching him.

James' dad buckled slightly and wheezed out a cough, but before James or Lily had time to be concerned, he let out a crooked smile so much like his son's and straightened. "I just came from Dumbledore's office, we were having a small meeting about increasing the protection on the school –"

"You were working?" James interrupted a distasteful look upon his face. "You're supposed to retired and resting like mum said –"

"I know, I know," James' dad interrupted right back, "don't give me the whole run down again. Now, are you going to stop being rude and introduce me to this lovely lady you were working so diligently with before I came bursting in?"

James looked to Lily, his eyes lighting up just enough for Lily's heart to notice and flutter in response. James' dad smiled as if he just heard the irregularity in the beats. "Oh yeah. Dad, this is Lily Evans, the Head Girl I've been working with –"

_That's the easiest way to put it,_ Lily thought to herself.

"– And Lily, this is my dad, Harold."

Lily outstretched her hand. "Nice to meet you, Mr. Potter."

Harold made a tsk-ing sound and said, "Please, call me Harold."

"Harold," Lily corrected herself and then blushed slightly when Harold took her hand and kissed the back of it lightly with his lips. "Well, I can see where James gets his smooth moves from," Lily said to cover the redness that was surely dominating her face.

It was James' turn to blush as Harold let out another booming laugh. "Dear, you don't know the half of it." Harold laughed again but it quickly turned into a hacking cough.

"Dad," James said reproachfully, "this is why you shouldn't be out running around –"

"Hush," Harold said, swatting his son lightly. "I just came to say hi. You're mother is expecting me home, she'll be worried sick, what with the times we're in. Don't tell her I visited you, she'll be infuriated that she didn't get to see you also."

"Our secret," James promised.

Harold laughed again, and coughed ferociously again. "Dear, dear, excuse me." He took a handkerchief out of a pocket and wiped his mouth lightly. "Oh yes, what's this about you not getting into trouble in a month?" Harold said reproachfully, slipping the handkerchief back in an unseen pocket. "We haven't received a letter from Minerva in two and a half weeks, we wondered if you had died."

James shrugged and Lily looked on, slightly amused but more so stunned. His parents were upset he _wasn't_ getting in trouble? "I don't know, I've been too busy to really deal with that kind of stuff. Plus, I've got to set a good example."

Laughing and coughing, Harold patted James on the back. "Your mother would be pleased to hear you're being more mature. I just miss the weekly, sometimes daily, letters I used to receive. It is so entertaining hearing what you boys come up with, the pranks always brighten my day. Not that I abhor you behaving now…"

Harold turned to Lily and took her hand, kissing it once more. "It was a pleasure to meet you, dear. I hope to see you again soon," Harold said.

"I hope so too," Lily responded politely, smiling widely. She liked Harold a lot.

James' dad beamed back and turned to his son, grabbing him in one last hug and ruffling his hair. "Despite the joy I get from Minerva's beautifully stern letters, stay out of trouble."

James laughed. "I'll try," he promised half-heartedly.

Harold chuckled just slightly enough so a cough didn't come erupting out of his chest. He gave James one last pat on the back and swept out of the common room, his robes sweeping brilliantly behind him.

Snorting in wonder at his father, James turned to Lily with bright eyes and a huge smile. It took her by surprise, Lily hadn't seen his face light up since Halloween (she had been conspicuously watching him from across rooms). "That was a pleasant surprise," James said, sighing happily.

Lily nodded in agreement. "Yeah, I really like him."

Somehow, even though Lily didn't know how it was possible, James' eyes got brighter. "Really?"

Smiling, Lily said, "Really. He's just wonderful."

James grinned and looked toward the door his father had disappeared through a moment before. "Yeah, he is." James turned back to Lily and smiled again.

Lily looked at him and the question that had been nagging her the duration of Harold's visit pushed its way to the front of her mind once more. She opened her mouth to ask, then immediately snapped her jaw shut as a small part of her brain informed her that saying the question aloud would be very rude.

Of course, James noticed she had held something back. "What is it?" he asked, suddenly concerned.

Lily shook her head. "It's nothing."

"No it's not, tell me, please."

"Well…" Lily hesitated. James cocked his head to the side, a move Lily had noticed he did whenever he was curious for an answer. "I was just wondering…is your dad alright? He kept coughing…"

"Oh," James said. He looked away from her and rubbed his hand across the base of his neck. "Yeah, it's just old age. And being overworked for years." Huffing slightly, James continued with, "He's finally retired and he can't stand it, keeps going back to the Auror offices, and asking if they need any help, which of course they do so they hand him a bunch of dirty work no one else wants to do."

Lily nodded in understanding. "That's a shame, I'm sorry."

James shrugged. "It's not your fault. It's his, the prat keeps pushing himself. He's too old for all that."

Lily nodded again and they stood there, James staring off at a bit of wall and Lily staring at him. Soon Lily cleared her throat and offered, "Should we finish up?" gesturing to her homework lying forgotten on the table.

Following her hand, James nodded and escorted her back to her seat. "Yeah, so, can you tell me the restrictions of changing animals into objects and vice versa?"

* * *

"…but the Bats have Ivar for a Seeker and he's the best in the league," James pointed out, taking a bite of toast.

"Ah, but Puddlemere has two of the best Beaters Quidditch has seen in six hundred years," Remus put in.

Sirius snorted and the remaining pumpkin juice in his mouth shot out all over the scraps on Remus' plate. "That's all fine and dandy, but Puddlemere has only one good Chaser, Verna, and the rest are rubbish. Now the Bats have Delaney, Killian, _and _Filmore for Chasers, a trio of perfection."

"What about the Cannons?" Peter chirped.

The three boys broke out in gales of hysteria while Peter looked on, confused and slightly hurt.

"Mails here," Remus said, sitting up straighter and wiping the tears from his eyes.

At first, the morning mail followed the same routine as any other Monday. Remus and Sirius received nothing from their families, James had a letter from his father and some homemade food for all the boys to share from his mother, and Peter had a package usually containing a fresh set of underwear and socks from his mother.

After all the owls disappeared and the items received had been looked over and set aside, something took place that was most unusual for Monday mail. A tawny owl swept over the Great Hall and everyone's attention was caught by it. There were usually no owls after morning mail. Students looked around interestedly, wondering who the abnormal delivery was for. There would be much more tension in the room if the owl had been a large brown barn one. Everyone knew that type of owl was from the Ministry and it generally meant that someone in your family had been attacked and killed by Death Eaters.

To the Marauders surprise, the letter dropped in front of Sirius. The tawny owl clicked its beak once. Absentmindedly (and unceremoniously), Sirius shoved a bit of bacon into the bird's 

mouth. The owl thought this very rude and, after thoroughly digesting the bacon, took off in flight, making sure to clip Sirius on the shoulder with its claws.

Sirius barely noticed the disturbance. "Who the hell would send me this?" he asked, anger seeping slightly into his voice.

"Open it and find out," James said eagerly. He was innately curious.

Sirius ripped open the seal and unfolded the piece of parchment. He scanned the letter quickly, his face falling. "Oh no…" he said quietly.

"What is it?" Remus asked, his interest peaked.

"My…my Uncle Alphard. He's dead."

James frowned. "Wasn't that the only member of your family that you liked?"

Sirius put his head in his hand. "Yes and the only one that liked me, too." Sirius snorted lightly and said, "When I was fourteen, my parents banned him from visiting when he stood up on a table at one of their parties and announced that Voldemort was a cowardly berk."

Laughing, James said. "I remember you telling me that."

Remus put a comforting hand on Sirius' back. "I'm sorry, mate."

Sirius pulled the corner of his mouth up just slightly. "S'alright. He left me quite a bit."

"Whaddya mean?" Peter asked.

"He left me all of his gold, and lemme tell you…he was filthy rich." He held the letter out in front of him and the three boys leaned forward to see it.

There was a small silence. "Wow," Remus finally said.

"What are you going to do with it?" James asked, still peering at the amount of galleons, sickles, and knuts written professionally on the parchment.

Sighing deeply, Sirius said, "I don't know, invest most of it, probably. Of course I'll take some of it out to buy myself a flat."

James whipped his head towards Sirius. "What? You're not going to live with me anymore?"

Sirius gave his friend a sympathetic look. "Well, did you expect me to impose on Harold and Hallie forever?"

James' face soured. "No…but you just moved in."

"James, I've basically lived with you since I was twelve," Sirius said impatiently. Suddenly, his face lit up. "Hey…what if I got a big enough flat for all four of us to live in after graduation?"

"Yeah!" James yelled without hesitation, punching his fist in the air.

Remus grinned. "That sounds perfect."

Sirius smiled and turned to Peter expectantly, whose face reddened. "I, well, I don't know how my mum would like that. I think she, you know, expected me to live with her."

Eyes darkening, Sirius snapped, "You'll have to move out and grow up sometime. Why not sooner than later?"

"I just don't know, Sirius," Peter said, anger flashing just slightly in his eyes.

None of his friends seemed to notice. In fact, Sirius jumped up with his letter and said, "I'm going to go tell Rita." James and Remus immediately began planning their life after graduation while Peter picked the yolk out of his eggs, looking very surly.

* * *

Author Notes: Wow, apparently asking a trivia question brings out all the lurker readers. Now I know you're there, so review!

Nephila gets the points for guessing first that the scene with James and Lily in the Girl's Tower is from The Wedding Planner! But the runner up awards goes to Justice's Quill, MudbloodKerri, The Carboard Moon, and prongs4eva. I got many interesting answers, like Friends (props to those who guessed that, even though you weren't right, I LOVE that show), Grey's Anatomy, Everwood, 27 Dresses, and Titanic. Good guesses all around!

And if you haven't read the Twilight series yet by Stephenie Meyer, you must must must go out and read them all. I command you. It is my new obsession rivaling Harry Potter and that is why it's taken me forever and a day to update.

REVIEW!! And read Twilight. But review first.


	17. Taste of your own medicine

Summary: He thought she hated him. She thought she was just bragging rights. He kept missing his chances. She was running away scared. A story of love that follows Lily and James from 6th year until graduation. R/R!

Disclaimer: So no one sues me, I'm not JKR, I could never compare to JKR and you all know that. She is the almighty goddess of all things Harry Potter/magic. Her riches are not mine. Enjoy!

**Chapter Sixteen Summary**: Rita and Aurelia find Lily curled in a ball in front of the door the morning after James admits how he really feels about her. Lily's a wreck, so she skips classes. As winter closes in, James and Lily avoid each other as much as they can, despite the fact that Head duties force them to be close. Finally, James offers to help Lily with Transfiguration. In the middle of their study session, James' dad surprises him with a visit, coughing the whole time. He is introduced to Lily and leaves quickly so that James' mum doesn't worry about him. Lily really likes him. Sirius gets a letter saying his Uncle Alphard died and he gets all of the large inheritance. Sirius says he is going to move out of James' house and rent a flat, much to James' dismay, but makes plans so all the Marauders can live together after school. Peter backs out of the plans quickly.

**Song Credits: Broken by Seether ft. Amy Lee, The Reason by Hoobastank.**

**Dialogue Inspirations: Sorry by Buckcherry, Whatever It Takes by Lifehouse**

* * *

To James, this was the _worst_.

It saw Saturday. There was a Quidditch match in an hour, Slytherin vs. Hufflepuff, and surprisingly Hufflepuff was the biggest threat to Gryffindor snatching the Cup. James wanted, no, _needed_ to be there in order to figure out what defenses to use against them in an upcoming match.

Also, James had a ton of homework he had been putting off that was due Monday and just thinking about it made a ticking sound appear in his head and it grew louder each time the thought occurred.

On top of all that, James hadn't eaten breakfast. Not eating made James extremely grumpy.

Really, James should be a little more grateful. He should've been in detention. Sirius had been complaining that he and James never hung out anymore, so a night when Lily had been too busy to go about Head duties, James and Sirius took a stroll around the castle…with a fresh batch of Filibuster Fireworks.

Unfortunately, when they were setting up a firework ignited early and zoomed right into Slughorn, who had been walking around the corner at that precise moment. He had promptly given Sirius and James a Saturday detention, knowing about the game they wanted to go to. Sirius couldn't come up with an excuse to get out of it, and he was the unlucky one stuck in Slughorn's classroom at that moment. James used his Head Boy card, saying that he and Lily had planned to catch up on Head work on Saturday that neither had time to complete during the week.

It was mostly true, the only difference between the truth and the lie was he and Lily had agreed to meet _after _the game. Slughorn allowed James to meet with Lily only after warning him that he would be checking up on them and if James so much as took one step near the Quidditch field, four more detentions would be added to the postponed one.

The one saving grace, the only reason why James was not currently storming the castle in a foul, rebellious mood, was Lily.

Almost as if she had heard him think her name, Lily looked up from the stack of papers she was sorting through and smiled sheepishly. James feared that next she would hear the furious pounding of his heart, all from her simple look.

_This can't be normal_, James thought to himself, rubbing his hand on his chest self-consciously.

Sure, he was missing Quidditch. Sure, he had tons of homework beckoning him upstairs. Sure, he was starving and worried he would be dragged off to detention any moment. But Lily was here with him and that was more than enough, no matter how awkward it was to converse naturally as if he had never poured out his heart to her nearly a month ago.

_God, has it only been a month? It's felt like _years.

Lily sighed and it pulled James from his thoughts…that little breath had instilled a hundred new thoughts and feelings in him. The foremost of these was: _Is she all right?_, followed by a large dose of concern accompanying it. The next that followed was: _What did she see or think about that made her sigh?_, quickly followed by a desperate longing that James couldn't place with any coherent thought. It was a longing that consumed him anytime Lily was near, or anytime Lily was mentioned, or anytime Lily cropped up in his mind, so James was fairly used to it and had become adept at pushing it aside momentarily. He did so then to focus on what she was saying.

"…I've heard past Heads complain about Dumbledore's wish to schedule a ball in December and I see why they could never pull it off now. It's an insane amount of work for the Heads to do, especially if they have other activities they've committed to, like us."

Lily put down some notes and sighed again, leaning forward and looking into James' eyes. James prayed the deep pounding was only in his ears. He was a good actor and could keep his face and body indifferent, but there was no way he could muffle the beating of his heart.

"Do you want to bother with it?"

It took James a few moments to remember what she had been talking about.

_Oh, right. Planning a ball in December_.

"I mean, you have Quidditch and I have tutoring, I just think it would be too much. What do you think?"

"Hm," James said casually. "I don't think we could handle it. Look at this week alone – neither of us could find a suitable time to go about our daily Head chores."

Lily frowned slightly. James guessed part of the frown was from his use of the word chores in association with their Head tasks. Sullenly, Lily replied, "Agreed. What else do we have left to discuss? I have quite a bit of homework to get to and I know you're itching to get to that Quidditch game."

James winced slightly; he was trying to forget what he wanted most to do today and which he couldn't. Lily caught the gesture and misread it. Her face showed insecurity. "I'm sorry…did I say something –"

"No! No," James said quickly, mainly to get the pained look off her beautiful face – it hurt him to see her in discomfort. "No, it's just…I can't go to the game anyway because I sort of traded my opportunity to go for a postponed detention. I convinced Slughorn to let me catch up on Head stuff instead."

"Oh, I see," Lily said, her face falling.

James analyzed her look…the expression caused more thoughts to swirl in his head. _Is it because she disapproves of my detention? Because she feels bad about bringing up the game? Because now she has no good excuse to hurry through this?_ James felt a stabbing pain in his chest from the last thought.

What followed was another awkward silence as both Lily and James gazed at each other. James was the first to lower his stare, his eyes focusing on the Prefect patrolling schedule he had been "working" on. It took so much self-control to do just that.

Even though they were sitting on opposite sides of the Heads common room, James felt a nearly uncontrollable desire to sit next to Lily. He wanted to push her hair behind her ear and let his fingertips trace a trail over her cheekbone, across her collarbone and shoulder, down the length of her arm until he found her fingers and entwined them with his own. He would rest his forehead on the cheekbone he had just traced, hopefully electrified from his touch, and whisper to her just how much she means to him.

Of course, he had to suppress the urge, because Lily had told him plainly time and time again that she didn't feel that way about him, even though it had only gotten through his head the last she had said it, that fateful night outside her room.

_How long will it take to get over you?_ James thought, too afraid to look up and take in her beauty.

If James would've looked up, he would see that Lily had _not_ glanced back down at the papers littering the table in front of her as he had with the patrolling schedule, but she had been watching the way his unruly hair fell without any rhyme or reason and wishing she could run her own fingers through it.

Their private longings were interrupted when a sleek dark brown owl came through the open window, screeching its arrival. Both Lily and James jumped; Lily relaxed when she saw it was only an owl but James straightened in his seat, a curious look on his face.

"That's my family owl," James said, mostly to himself, when the owl landed in front of him, holding out a letter.

Quickly, James ripped the folds open while Lily finally went back to her work. James recognized his mother's handwriting at once and scanned the contents, expecting a warm greeting, an overview of what had been going on at home, and then the reason why she wrote.

What James did read was very to the point. It made his heart freeze and his throat constrict and close. It wasn't in a good way, like whenever he was close to Lily, but in a horrible, world crashing down around him way. The muscles in his hand tightened as much as they could and James vaguely heard the paper crumple – the whooshing sound that was making his head spin sickeningly was wreaking too much havoc on his ears to hear much else.

But the one beautiful, melodic sound that James could hear above anything else in the world came fighting through the chaos ripping apart his mind, body, and heart. "James? Are you alright?"

James looked up from words surely too awful to be true and tried to focus on Lily across the room, but all he could see was a watery outline of a person.

There was a gasp and suddenly cool hands rested on James' shoulders. The pressure was so gentle and loving that James' vision got steadily blurrier until he realized:

_Oh, I'm crying_.

"James? What's wrong?" Lily asked, her voice banishing the horror in his head, leaving a calm, loving path behind. James sat, muscles taut and frozen, as he tried to enjoy the calming effect of her voice.

One of the hands left his shoulder and the gentle pressure was now resting on his own hand. James focused on that pressure, it was comforting, the only comfort that would take his mind away from the awful words on the paper.

A crinkling sound floated softly through his head, it sounded so far away, followed by the beautiful voice: "May I?"

The practical and still working part of James' brain registered Lily was trying to pry the letter out of his hand without ripping it. James gladly let her have it – maybe Lily would read it and tell him he misunderstood, that the letter didn't say what he thought it did. Then she would laugh, throw the letter aside, and gather him into her arms.

What James wished did not happen.

There was a gasp. "Oh no…oh James…" The beautiful voice was tarnished with agony that wove its way into the notes.

That's when James realized what he read in the letter was true. He couldn't take the pain. It was enough that suffering was in his own body, but now the beautiful voice shared his anguish and that was too much. The muscles that were taut a moment ago suddenly lost all their tension; the loss made James' body fall forward in surprise.

_Thank God for Lily_, James thought as Lily caught him before James' face could meet the wood. But even Lily couldn't stop his body from shaking or his lungs from malfunctioning so he was forced to hyperventilate.

"Okay, James, it's going to be okay…" Lily murmured, lifting his shaking body to a standing position. James tried to help, but it was impossible to exert much effort, no matter how much he tried.

A small part of him felt bad that he wasn't much help as Lily half dragged him out of the Heads common room, but the majority of his mind was too consumed in the grief stricken words that lay looking too innocent on the parchment in Lily's hand. He couldn't even think of the actual words; if he did, the misery would tear him apart swiftly from the inside out.

"Just hang on, James, we're almost there…"

For a moment, James came out of his tormented thoughts and focused on the emerald of Lily's eyes while her head was still turned toward him. When she looked away, James realized they were right outside Professor Slughorn's door. His earlier worries drifted tentatively through his head and he almost laughed at their trivialness compared to the hell he was going through now.

Still keeping ahold of James, Lily opened the door to Slughorn's classroom a crack. "Professor?" she called, trying to keep her voice even.

"Why, hello Ms. Evans! What can I do for you?" James heard Slughorn's jovial voice, but couldn't see him. He let his eyes close and his forehead rest on Lily's shoulder in defeat.

"I need to borrow Sirius Black, sir."

"M'dear, he is serving a detention. Only a teacher can pull him out. Come back in two hours when he'll be free."

James could feel Lily start to quiver slightly. "No, Professor, you don't understand," Lily croaked out. Even in his confused mind, James could appreciate Lily standing up to a professor for him. A rush of gratitude tore threw his mind before it was quickly silenced by agonizing thoughts. "James Potter _needs_ Sirius. He just got a letter – James' dad died in his sleep last night."

Lily's voice broke on the last word and James broke too, but it wasn't his voice. A cry escaped him and he could feel his insides exploding as he reluctantly slide from Lily to the floor.

"My word!" Slughorn cried the same time another voice bellowed, "James! James!"

The last thing James saw was Sirius' feet running out of the classroom and Lily's flawless face wet from tears a few inches from his.

His eyes fell.

Cool hands pressed against his cheeks and his mind and body were quietly replaced by heavenly blackness.

* * *

Sounds of sobbing still reached James even though he chose the room on the opposite end of his parents' – now his mother's – bedroom to escape. His mother's cries of pain and sorrow had been going on non-stop since he had come home two days ago. Although he wanted more than anything to comfort her, he couldn't stand to be around the tears for too long – they echoed his torrent of shadowy thoughts and memories too perfectly.

Unfortunately, the room that was farthest away from his paren – mother's bedroom was his father's study, something he was supposed to sort through eventually but which James had been putting off. Sirius had promised to help him with it, but currently Sirius had gone off to fetch all of them dinner.

A small smile lifted onto James' face at the thought of Sirius, it disappeared less than half a second later. Without Sirius there, James would've never made it through. He was always by James' side, only leaving for small periods to get dinner since Hallie hadn't felt up to cooking, with a joke, a smile, or an encouraging clap on the shoulder. James didn't know how he stayed so strong – Harold had been a father to Sirius also – but somehow Sirius had been the rock for Hallie and James to stand on. It wasn't Sirius' fault they couldn't keep their balance.

But now Sirius was not here and James stood alone in the doorway of his father's large, mahogany paneled study.

_You could just go somewhere else, start another easier task until Sirius gets back, _a voice urged in his head.

James grudgingly knew better. This room was the one where the cries of anguish were the faintest and James felt he would go mad if it were any louder. He also knew if he didn't get this task over with now, he would never get it done. And, for once, James wanted to be strong.

Resolutely, James turned and shut the great door behind him. The sound reverberated loudly, the echo seeming to carry on for ages. James let out a small gasp and slumped against the door, his head lolling on the frame. He lingered there for only a moment and, with a deep shaking breath, James turned and faced the room once more.

Random memories of his father began to flit through his head. Some he could place with a time, like when he shyly edged into the room when he was eleven during Christmas break. His father looked busy but, upon seeing his son, he put down everything he was doing and stood from his desk.

"_Hey James, what can I do for you?"he asked. James could hear the laughter ringing in his voice. It always seemed like his father was about to burst into laughter at any moment._

"_Well, me and my friend Sirius, you know, the one I told you about that's apart of the Black family, but who's not evil?" James questioned, testing his father's memory._

_Harold rolled his eyes and walked around to the front of his desk, leaning against the front casually. "You mean the one you haven't shut up about since you've been home? Sure, I know. Continue."_

_James cleared his throat. Usually his father inspired his troublemaking, but James was always just a little nervous asking him for a way around the rules. "Well, um, we know the kitchens are somewhere behind the Professor's table in the Great Hall, but we don't know how to get there. We wanted to get some food to celebrate Gryffindor beating Slytherin in November, but we couldn't figure out how to get to the kitchens. I was wondering if you would happen to know…"_

_This time his father did break out into booming chuckles. "I'm insulted you had to ask! Did you think I wouldn't know, or did you think I wouldn't tell you?" he questioned._

"_Well…" James began to confess, but Harold waved his hand. "It doesn't matter. You know the painting of fruit behind the table?" _

_James nodded eagerly._

"_All you have to do is tickle the pear. It will giggle, then turn into a handle. And there you go! The house elves are very eager; they'll give you whatever you desire and more. Now, do you and your friend Sirius want to have a grand entrance when you go back to school next week? I have some great ideas…"_

Other memories that glided by as he looked around the room were not so easy to place, just flashes of random moments throughout his life. The giant map of England on the wall just to the left of the door reminded James of a time when his father had a guest over and they were fiercely arguing about something or another to do with work. The bookshelves brought forth a memory of his father studying the stacks and stacks of different bindings, trying to find the perfect thing for…but that memory flashed away before James could remember the details. The sprawling leather couch made James think of the countless times he had to wake his father, who frequented naps there, so he could come downstairs for dinner.

The memories were beginning to overwhelm him in the room that contained so much of his father, so James chanted _be strong_ repeatedly in his head. He kept that mantra up with each step he took, still gazing around the room but this time only focusing on the here and now, logically assessing where to start.

The one thing that James was having an extremely hard time ignoring was the heavy silence that the closing of the door had created. It was almost worse than his mother's sobs. The silence pressed on his chest painfully and made his ears ring. When a record player caught his eye, he almost smiled and nearly ran to it. There was the distraction he was looking for. James went to the cabinet right next to the player and sifted through the records, careful to avoid his father's favorites. Once the record was placed on the player and the needle was placed on the record, the music began to flow softly out of the horn. James immediately felt relaxed and turned the music up as loud as he thought he could without alerting his mother.

"That's better," James muttered to himself, folding his arms and looking around the room. He concentrated solely on the notes pushing the ominous silence out, filling him with serenity.

Before he knew it, James was cleaning out his father's desk, throwing out old receipts and bank statements, anything from work, and scraps of paper with little reminders his forgetful old man had written to himself that were surely set aside and forgotten.

Each time he saw one of the notes with the familiar flourishing handwriting, James' heart gave a funny little jump. When he pulled on a small, hard to open drawer, his stomach dropped before he realized he had stumbled upon a horde of pictures. Every snapshot featured his father, ranging from Harold's childhood days all the way up until the last summer when the whole family had been together. Sirius and Remus were even in a few.

James slammed the drawer shut and threw his hands to his forehead, resting his elbows on the glossy surface of the colossal desk. Pain rippled through his chest and James pushed it down, focusing once again on the music. But the notes weren't enough, there even seemed to be a somber touch to the song that didn't seem so sad a moment ago. The pain was still trying to take over and invade his mind, so he focused on the lyrics.

_I wanted you to know  
__That I love the way you laugh  
__I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away  
__I keep your photograph  
__And I know it serves me well  
__I wanna hold you high and steal your pain  
__Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome  
__And I don't feel right when you're gone away  
__You've gone away  
__You don't feel me anymore_

James was wrong, the song was actually incredibly sad, and the even sadder fact of the matter was it reminded him of Lily. It spelled out exactly how he felt about her; when James first heard the notes, they didn't seem so sad, but once he really listened, it was almost depressing. The instrumental break had finished and James was ready to absorb the song until Sirius came bursting through the door, carrying containers of food and making James jump.

"Hey James. Thought you'd be hungry since you haven't eaten since lunch yesterday, so I got you two meals," Sirius said cheerfully as James slumped in his father's chair, disappointed he didn't get to dissect more of the song. "I ate most of mine already, so if you want a break from whatever you're doing, I can finish up and you can eat."

Shrugging lamely, James got up from his seat and took the containers from Sirius while his best friend launched into a long-winded tail of the rude hostess at the restaurant. James nodded along and oohed and ahhed at the right moments, but his mind was on Lily the whole time.

_I just want to be with her…_

* * *

Lily sighed, glaring at the blasting radio some fourth year girls were listening to. She tapped her quill impatiently, staring down blankly at her Transfiguration homework and when that didn't help calm her, she began tapping her foot at the same speed. She really wanted to go over and abuse her Head Girl power by forcing them to turn it down or, better yet, off, but she had been very bossy the past week, so much so that even her friends were avoiding her. Lily decided she'd rather suffer with the music than suffer with the irritated whispers from Gryffindors about what a tyrant bitch their Head Girl was.

Sighing again, Lily threw down her quill and put her head in her hands, trying to clear her mind, something she had never been good at. She could always push a thought away, but another always took its place. Her mind was too busy to stay blank.

Tonight Lily had trouble pushing thoughts away. She tried to ignore the music and she did ignore the beat of it, but the lyrics came screaming at her.

_I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away  
__There's so much left to learn  
__And no one left to fight  
__I wanna hold you high and steal your pain  
__Cause I'm broken when I'm open  
__And I don't feel like I am strong enough  
__Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome  
__And I don't feel right when you're gone away  
__You're gone away  
__You don't feel me here…anymore_

Lily groaned. Why oh why did she need something else to remind her of James? This song was a perfect description of their relationship.

The truth was that Lily hadn't stopped thinking of James since she and Sirius had half carried him to Dumbledore's office. She had been anxious the whole time he had been gone, fretfully awaiting his return and praying he was holding up. The feelings that had haunted Lily the past week were ones that didn't allow her to pretend that she had no deep feelings for James. Lily wasn't sure if she could go so far as to say she loved him, but she definitely wanted to comfort him in ways that friends wouldn't be allowed to do.

That had been her dominate thought: she desperately wanted to help James get through this. Having lost her own parents, she could completely empathize and wanted to use her loss for his gain, to help him heal much faster and easier than she did.

What little time Lily's mind wasn't thinking about James, it spent ceaselessly worrying about Sadie Bradshaw, a Ravenclaw 6th year, and Gareth Selby, a Gryffindor 2nd year. The two were sent home three days ago because of a mass Death Eater attack on supposed "traitor" families. The Bradshaw's and the Selby's were all massacred, leaving Sadie and Gareth orphaned. Whenever she thought about the attack, one of the thoughts that sped through was: _What if that had been James? What if the one time James left the safety of the castle, that had happened to him?_ And then the rush of thoughts for James took over once more.

_When_ _is he coming_ back?!

With that last thought, Lily growled in frustration and slammed her hands on the small table she always worked at. When she looked up, she saw Remus, who looked like he stopped in mid-step, with a shocked look on his face.

"Whoa, Lily," he said, his hands up defensively, "I was coming over here to chat, but if you'd rather be alone –"

"No, no," Lily said, shaking her head and attempting a relaxed smile. She felt it strain on her face. "Sit down."

Remus did so, still looking at her cautiously. It bugged Lily and she was about to snap at him, until she noticed how pale he was and the shadows lining his face. She suddenly remembered it was the full moon – and two of the Marauders would not be here to help him with it.

"Do you know when James will be back?" she blurted. She was still reeling from her revelation and didn't have time to censor her true feelings.

Remus kept his face neutral, but Lily swore for a moment she saw the tinniest of grins slip onto his face. "I'm not sure, the last letter they sent was right after the funeral, which was two days after they got there." Lily's face fell, she was past the point of controlling her emotions, and it embarrassed her immensely. "Don't worry; I'm sure they'll be back soon."

Lily nodded, smiling gratefully. At least that's what she tried to convey, her disappointments were taking precedence over any other emotion. A thought occurred to her. "Why didn't you go with them? I know you stayed over at James' house as much as Sirius did, you must've been close to…him also."

The moment the words came out of her mouth, another realization transpired and Lily wanted to slap herself. Remus couldn't go, there was probably no safe place for him to transform during the full moon. Surely enough, the reassuring look on Remus' face fell and was replaced with a much more grim expression. "I…felt it would be imprudent for me to come. Three isn't exactly company in a situation like this. Plus Sirius is much closer to James than I am, they are like brothers."

He lied eloquently, but of course, Lily saw through it. She reached across the table and grabbed his hand comfortingly. "You four are all close brothers. It's just that Sirius and James have the same childlike, reckless manner so they connect more."

Remus laughed at this and Lily brightened. It made her feel better that she helped _someone_, even if it couldn't be the exact person she wanted to help. Remus sighed contently and looked out the window. "Have you seen Peter?" Remus asked suddenly.

Lily shook her head. "Nope, I actually haven't seen him since class yesterday."

Remus' eyes darkened slightly. He continued to stare out the window into the gold and ruby sky, a true Gryffindor sunset. Lily let him reflect and pretended she was working on her Transfiguration essay.

After a while Remus murmured, "I really don't feel all that well, I think I might go visit Madame Pomfrey."

Lily nodded, going along with this lie also. "You don't look that well, no offense."

Waving his hand, Remus stood and replied, "None taken. If you see Aurelia, will you tell her I'll see her tomorrow? If I'm not still sick, that is."

"Sure thing. I hope everything goes alright, Remus." Lily said the words with as much conviction as she could, hoping her well wishes would work, and that Remus wouldn't have a bad experience tonight without his brothers helping him.

Remus turned a quarter of his body towards her as he walked across the common room. "I'm sure everything will go well, Madame Pomfrey has some of the best quick fixes. Goodnight, Lily."

"Goodnight, Remus." _And good luck._

* * *

There was no quick fix to what Remus was about to go through and he knew it.

His skin was tingling in the most uncomfortable, burning way and his whole body shook and shuddered. His bones ached in protest as they began to rearrange themselves and Remus felt his mind start to morph into something less human and more animalistic.

No matter how hard he tried to cling to his sanity, it always seemed to be replaced with brutal urges and undeniable hungers. Remus could feel reason slipping away, but he forced himself to think human things.

_I wonder where the hell Wormtail is._

Peter was the only comfort he had this full moon, as Sirius and James were unavailable to help him. Although Peter was never much comfort during the excursions, he always brought some strange comic relief to the wolf's wild mind. Peter seemed to have completely forgotten about the full moon, completely forgotten about Remus. That thought hurt him deeply.

_Stop the self-pity. James is going through hell just as much as you are._

Ah, James. The last tiny human part of him chuckled slightly as he thought of Lily's anxieties. He couldn't wait to tell James when he got back.

_They had said they would try to be back in time for the full moon…_

Remus could feel the hair painfully growing on every part of his skin as his finger and toenails began to lengthen and shape into vicious claws. He collapsed to the floor and tried to pound a fist through the floorboards in agony, but only his half paw, half hand scratched against the wood. The wolf allowed one last dark thought to pass through…

_I wonder if they care about me at all._

…and then he succumbed to the wolf, experiencing some of the worst pain he'd had in years.

* * *

"I feel really awful about Remus," Sirius said as they carried their bags to the fireplace. "It must've been awful without us there to distract him."

James nodded in agreement. "Yeah, but at least Pete was there. Mum really needed us here just a few more days."

Once they arrived in the living room with the largest fireplace, they worked in silence. Hallie had fallen asleep on the sofa for the first time in two days and Sirius and James did everything they could to keep her in that slumber. They had said goodbye to her before she had lain down so when she awoke Hallie wouldn't be mad with worry. James lit the fire without speaking the incantation. Sirius couldn't do nonverbal spells, so he checked the Floo powder on the mantel to make sure there was enough for the two of them. "Saves me a trip to the other fireplace," Sirius muttered while squinting into the ornate pot used for Floo powder, apparently satisfied there was enough in there.

"Shh!" James reminded lightly.

"You know that makes more noise than me talking, right?"

"Shhhhhhhhh!"

"Okay, okay. You go first."

A few seconds later, they were both standing in the Entrance Hall, dusting the soot off themselves. It was empty, as it should be, since it was past meal times and Sunday.

"Well," Sirius began, looking around the castle unsatisfactorily, "I guess there's no grand welcome planned."

"Oh James! Sirius!" a voice said from the stairs.

Sirius looked up and grinned ever so slightly. "Then again, maybe there will be for you, Jamsie-poo."

James could only spare the shortest glare for him, then turned his full attention back to the gorgeous redhead that occupied every non-grief stricken thought he had while he was away. Lily was running down the stairs, watching her feet so as not to trip. When she got past that obstacle, she ran to James and looked as if she were about to pounce – James even tensed himself to get ready – but instead she skidded to a stop a good two feet from him.

Lily stood there, breathing heavily for a moment, while James watched her curiously. Sirius stood to the side, looking from James to Lily with a smug look on his face.

"Are you alright?" Lily blurted, still gasping for breath.

James' eyebrows furrowed slightly. "Yeah, as well as can be expected, I suppose."

Looking unsure of herself, Lily folded her palms together and let them hang in front of her. She nodded vigorously. "Oh, okay, good. I was…sort of…worried."

James' stomach dropped the same way it did in his father's study, only this time it wasn't sickening, it was perfect. Lily and James continued to stare at each other, wanting to say so many things, but neither had the right amount of Gryffindor courage to spill first.

Plus, Sirius was standing off to the side, rocking back and forth on his heels like a child trying to stop himself from misbehaving in order to get a treat.

"Well…" James started, but trailed off, unsure of what to say, even if there was so much to say.

Lily was the first to compose herself slightly. "Well, you have a lot to catch up on," Lily finished the start of his sentence. "I'd be happy to help with schoolwork, if you want."

James tried his damndest to not look crestfallen. "Yeah, I'd appreciate that."

Lily nodded and they stood staring at each other once more, eyes darting around awkwardly every now and then.

Sirius couldn't stand another minute of their absurdity. "James, we'd better go get unpacked and see Remus and Pete."

James turned his head slowly to Sirius, then shook it slightly as if coming out of a daze. "Right, right. Er…I guess I'll see you around, Lily."

Lily nodded again. "Yeah, sure. See ya."

Sirius and James walked up the stairs and James peeked back down to the Entrance Hall at Lily. She was standing in the exact same place she had before, only her head was hanging down. He turned resolutely, shaking his head again, only irritation crossed his features instead of longing.

When they reached the empty dorm room, James threw his travel bag across the room with a growl and slammed the door shut.

"I just don't know what to do anymore," James said, flinging himself backwards onto his bed and putting his hands over his face. "I can't stop thinking about everything I love about her." James paused and slammed his hands on the bed on either side of his body with a frustrated groan. He looked at his best friend. "What should I do, mate?"

Sirius sat heavily on his bed, looking at his distressed friend. James' feelings for Lily were getting severe; jokes were definitely not the way to advise him. "Well…maybe you should try thinking about all the things you dislike about Lily," Sirius said cautiously and James sat up, a confused look plastered on his face as if he didn't understand how "dislike" and "Lily" were used in the same sentence. "Start naming all the things that drive you mad – in a bad way," Sirius further explained. "Things that turn you off about her, things that make her uglier inside and out."

Pondering, James looked up to the ceiling as if the answer were written in the cracks and stains. He then looked down at his hands, wrinkling his nose as he did so. "Well," he began timidly. "I hate how she studies day and night."

Sirius nodded encouragement. "Good, go on."

Sighing, James continued. "I hate how she spends all her free time tutoring," James eyes narrowed and he stood up abruptly, pacing back and forth. His words came out breathlessly and rushed. "I hate that, if we did go out there would be no time for _us_ cause of all that damn tutoringand she can be a really big bitch sometimes."

Snorting, Sirius commented, "I'll drink to that."

James gave him a short nod, but then the tension that was previously in his shoulders began to loosen and his pacing slowed to a halt. He looked at his now still feet and, after a few moments, said quietly, "But I respect her self-discipline to study that hard to get amazing grades." James paused and began pacing again, still watching his feet, but there was no anger or haste. The pace had a slow, peaceful, and recognizing feel to it. "I love how she is so helpful and generous about tutoring people, even if she doesn't like them. I love that, although she can get really angry and hurtful, it shows she isn't as perfect as I think she is. It shows she _is_ human and that makes her even more wonderful."

Looking up, James saw a slightly grinning Sirius. "I think you answered your own question." James' terse and worried face relaxed into a smile and he and Sirius shared a knowing look. "Go get her, mate," Sirius said. James' smile grew and he ran out of the room, clapping Sirius on the back as he went.

After James' robe whipped out of sight, Sirius thought of a belated warning, which he called out and hoped James heard: "And don't do anything stupid!"

* * *

The next day Lily walked down to breakfast with Aurelia and Rita and was disappointed to see that James wasn't anywhere to be found in the Great Hall. Not only was she disappointed, but also angry. She had been completely anxious the whole time he was gone; she had to go and be a berk when she greeted him yesterday, and now she couldn't even stare at him longingly across the room.

Still, she followed Aurelia and Rita and sat with the present Marauders, none of which she was particularly happy to see. Rita cuddled up to Sirius, they had both missed each other while he was helping James, and Aurelia ran a hand through Remus' hair, asking him if he felt any better. Lily's mood went from angry to depressed instantly and that emotion intensified when she was forced to make small talk with Peter about the weather and the weekend's Charms homework.

Lily walked glumly to class, a few feet behind the gloriously happy couples, still listening to Peter go on and on and on about the Charms homework. They all headed to Potions, everyone with the exception of Peter (thankfully) who could not keep up with the class work and had to switch to Muggle Studies with the 6th years. Lily expected to see James already sitting in Slughorn's classroom, or at least run in late with his shirt half tucked in, robe dangling off his arm, and a leaning tower of toast being held up in the palm of his hand, but he didn't show up at all.

_I can't be too angry; he must be going through a hard time. It is perfectly reasonable for him to skip class._ Lily still slid into her seat next to Rita miserably, glancing longingly behind her at the empty seat next to Sirius.

Luckily they were only taking notes, so Lily didn't feel the need to concentrate fully. Instead she did something she usually didn't condone at all, she doodled all over her page of notes and thought of the pain James must be in right now, wishing she could skip class too and go up to his dorm to help him however she could.

Lily was in the middle seriously contemplating skipping Ancient Runes while drawing a detailed wand design with shooting sparks, when an unfamiliar crackle echoed throughout the classroom. It took a moment for Lily, and the rest of the class, to recognize the loudspeaker throughout the school that was rarely, if ever, used.

The voice that came through the speakers was not the expected Professor McGonagall or Dumbledore. It was a youthful voice, a voice that made Lily's heart stop and her throat catch.

"Ladies and gentlemen please excuse this interruption, but I have an important announcement to make to a very special girl, Lily Evans," the voice said, speaking as smooth as a club owner introducing a jazz act.

The class broke out into gossiping whispers and, just as Lily was about to shush them, the voice said, "Now, now, students, please quiet down."

The room immediately obeyed and Lily supposed the rest of the school obeyed as well, how could they not when the idolized king of Hogwarts was giving commands so kindly?

"Lily, I've asked you out every way I've ever thought possible and this is the last time I'll do it. I'm praying you've turned me down every way you've thought possible and have no other way to say no. But I can't just be your friend, that's not enough. I'm greedy and I want to be so much more than friends. I want to take care of you, support you, and love you. This is for you."

There was a deep breath, and then the voice began singing.

"_I'm not a perfect person. There's many things I wish I didn't do. But I continue learning. I never meant to do those things to you. And so I have to say before I go that I just want you to know…_"

There was another deep breath and the voice began again, quietly singing the words in a low tone.

"_I found a reason for me, to change who I used to be. A reason to start over new and the reason is you._"

Lily gasped and tears sprung up in her eyes.

"_I'm sorry that I hurt you. It's something I must live with every day. And all the pain I put you through, I wish that I could take it all away and be the one who catches all your tears. That's why I need you to hear I found a reason for me, to change who I used to be. A reason to start over new and the reason is you._"

Lily smiled and swiped at the tears spilling onto her face. She was hanging onto every word James sung in that perfectly imperfect voice of his. She could see Rita out of the corner of her eye, gazing and beaming at Lily. She could feel the eyes of everyone in the room, could hear Slughorn chuckling delightedly, but she didn't care. All she cared about was the words James was singing to her.

"_I'm not a perfect person. I never meant to do those things to you. And so I have to say before I go that I just want you to know __I've found a reason to show a side of me you didn't know. A reason for all that I do and the reason is you._"

There was a pause and Lily started laughing happily, hands clapping to her mouth and tears still pouring down her face.

"So, that's it. And I think I'm about to be busted. Thanks for your time ladies and gentlemen, I bid you adieu."

Another crackle filled the room, recognized instantly this time as the end of the transmission, and there was a moment of silence. Then whoops, hollers, and cheers filled the room. Every person, with the exception of Severus Snape, surrounded Lily. Rita was already hugging her happily and Aurelia, Remus, and Sirius pushed their way to be closest to her.

"Lily, are you going to say yes?" one voice shouted.

"I don't know, Lily, he really can't sing," another jeered playfully.

"Damnit, Lily, you better say yes, or I'll have to kill you," Sirius growled, but his eyes were sparkling with mirth.

"I need to find him, I need to tell him yes," Lily gasped from between Rita and Aurelia; between the two of them, she was locked in a death grip.

Slughorn chuckled again and pulled Lily out of the mob. "Go on, m'dear. I won't take away any house points."

Lily beamed at Slughorn and pushed her way out of the room as everyone continued whooping and hollering. In her euphoria, she didn't notice Snape sitting in the corner, watching her every movement with a horrified expression.

Lily ran faster than she ever had in her life. She raced up staircases and around corridors, for once having a perfect sense of direction and a clear head. She knew James would be in detention by now, most likely with McGonagall seeing as she didn't have a class to teach this period.

But as Lily rounded the corner to McGonagall's class, she saw the stern professor standing outside her door. "Ms. Evans, I'm afraid you'll have to wait to speak with Mr. Potter until after his detention is over."

"Oh, how long will that take?" Lily said in a rush, out of breath.

McGonagall scrutinized her, looking reproachful, but Lily could see the gleam in her eyes. "Half and hour, and he'll have a few extra detentions on top of that. You really should talk to him; he needs to set a better example as Head Boy."

"Whatever you say, Professor. I'll be waiting!" Lily said, already sliding down the wall to wait.

McGonagall looked her over once more, then opened the door to her class a crack and slid in without revealing the occupant inside.

Lily waited restlessly the room, tapping her fingers on the stone as she sorted out what she was going to say. She needed to say so many things to him, needed to apologize for so much, and convince him that she would not get scared and run again. She was here to stay.

Finally the door opened and James walked out, rubbing the back of his head and looking slightly behind him, a confused expression lurking on his features. Lily stood hastily, using the wall to scoot up quicker. She leaned against the wall, heart beating wildly, waiting for him to turn.

When James finally did, his whole body jerked as every muscle immediately ceased to work. He was frozen to the spot as he stared at Lily's unreadable expression. He couldn't tell if she was about to slap and rage because he embarrassed her in front of the whole school or if she was about to pounce and kiss because what he did was incredibly romantic. He was hoping for the latter.

James' wishes came true.

After an immeasurable moment of staring at each other, Lily panting slightly from her accelerated heart and James not breathing, not even daring to hope, Lily ran to James. She threw her arms around his neck and he unfroze just in time to catch her, although he stumbled back a few steps from the force she exerted.

As soon as his brain caught up, James pressed her as close as he could to him, burying his face in her neck, just as he had that fateful Halloween night outside her dorm. Only this time he didn't feel desperation or sorrow, he felt hope and jubilation.

"James…" she said frantically and he pressed her closer.

Lily put her hand gently on the back of his head and guided his head up. They gazed at each other, emerald into hazel, and then Lily framed her hands around James' face. When she couldn't wait another moment, Lily pressed her lips to his urgently, communicating everything she had been planning to say in that kiss. James understood every unspoken word and kissed her back with the same urgency, lips screaming unspoken declarations.

Soon their kiss turned into many small kisses. Lily slid her hands down to the tops of James' shoulders and tried to stumble out the speech she had planned. It was rather hard when James refused to let their lips separate for more than a few seconds.

"James…I have so much…to say…I've been thinking…the whole time you…were gone and after…Halloween I knew instantly…I made a mistake but…I was too shy and unsure to…say anything…"

James didn't respond, instead he began kissing her neck in a way that made Lily sure it would be bruised within the hour. It also made it impossibly hard to concentrate on what she had to say, but she had to get out, she had to apologize for all the hurt she had caused him.

"I missed you so much…and things weren't the same for so long…but every time I try to say what…I'm feeling it never comes out right….And when I see you hurt it…makes me want to die…"

James began kissing her with more force, moving his way back up to her mouth. _Just get it out!_ Lily shouted inside her head, even though she was pulling him closer.

"I'm sorry I'm so…bad at this relationship stuff…I'm sorry you…were always so sad from what I did to you…I know I can't take it back but…I want to try as hard as I can to make it up to you…"

James finally spoke: "You _are_ making it up to me, at least I hope I know where this is leading." His voice was husky and deep. He looked into her eyes, tracing just under her bottom row of lashes, then kissed her in a way that made her forget exactly who she was, let alone what she was trying to get out.

"I love how you kiss," she gasped when they separated for air, but he didn't let her go too far. When she spoke, her lips moved on his. James rested his forehead against hers; breathing heavily as he waited for her to finish what she had to say. "I love the way you make me feel when I'm with you."

James smiled and kissed her forehead, and then her nose. Lily rested her head against his chest and he cradled her as she stumbled across the end of her speech.

"I'm the one to blame; it's my fault it took us so long to be like this completely. It was so hard to get through a day whenever you weren't there and that's when I realized I couldn't be without you."

Lily looked up into his face and traced the outline of his lips. "Now, by the way you were kissing me, I'm guessing and hoping it's not too late to make it right. I want to be with you, I won't get scared, and I won't run away again. I promise and I'll keep my promise this time, if it's the last thing I do."

James gave her his famous lopsided grin. "It's not too late at all. But I think I need to hear you ask the actual words…"

Lily rolled her eyes, then focused them on James. "James," she said very seriously, "Will you go out with me?"

James pretended he was thinking about it. "Maybe I should give you a taste of your own medicine…" James said playfully. He released her waist and Lily immediately snaked her hands around his while ticked off his fingers. "'I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid,''I think it would benefit you if you learned to take your arrogance down a couple clicks,''The only way I will ever be turned on by you is the day you disappear forever,''Death, lie thou there, by a dead man interred,''Is your mirror missing in your dorm or did you mean to look like this today?''Potter –'"

"Alright, alright, alright! I get it!" Lily said, laughing. "For real, what is your answer?"

Although there was still a small glimmer of playfulness in his eyes, James immediately became serious and put a hand to Lily's cheek, stroking his thumb across her cheekbone. "Of course, Lily. I've chased after you for seven years, like I'd give you up now." Lily beamed. "But first, you have to promise me something."

Lily nodded. "Anything." Yet as soon as the word left her mouth, she internally cringed. She was about to promise a _Marauder_ anything.

James read some of the regret in her eyes and smirked. "Don't worry, nothing like that." He took a deep breath. "If we're going to make this work, you need to let me inside even though it hurts. I don't want you to hide the broken parts that I need to see. You have to love yourself if you can ever love me." James gazed into her eyes. "Promise me you'll try, alright?"

Lily felt her heart melting at his concern for her. She nodded, closed her eyes, and kissed him again. It was sweeter this time, Lily observed, and it made her ecstatic to think that she would be kissing James as often as she pleased. James felt the exact same way.

* * *

Author Notes: Whew! That was a long chapter. Twenty pages on Word! Yikes.

I'll keep this short. Read. Review. Thanks!!

Oh, P.S., I have an idea for a novel. I want you to tell me if you think my writing is good enough for a novel. If not, please critique and help me improve! Being an author is my dream, don't be afraid to be harsh!


	18. Keep friends close and enemies closer

Summary: He thought she hated him. She thought she was just bragging rights. He kept missing his chances. She was running away scared. A story of love that follows Lily and James from 6th year until graduation. R/R!

Disclaimer: So no one sues me, I'm not JKR, I could never compare to JKR and you all know that. She is the almighty goddess of all things Harry Potter/magic. Her riches are not mine. Enjoy!

**Chapter Seventeen Summary:** Lily and James were busy with Head duties, each wrapped up in their own lovesick thoughts toward the other, when James got a letter saying his father had died. Lily helped him by getting Sirius before James blacked out. James went home, taking Sirius with him, and had to tackle the difficult task of cleaning out his father's study. Despite his grief, James thought of Lily. Little did he know she was thinking of him, too, missing him terribly while he was gone. Meanwhile Remus had to go through a transformation alone without James and Sirius. When James came back, Lily rushed to meet him, and they had an awkward yet casual exchange. The next day during classes, James came on the seldom-used loudspeakers at Hogwarts and sang a song in dedication to Lily, asking her out for the millionth time. This time, she said yes.

**Thanks to JustCallMeDollface** **for an idea in this chapter!**

* * *

"Hell froze over."

"Sirius…"

"Seriously. I can't believe it. Hell is frozen."

"Sirius."

"I totally said it would and it did. Put your hand to the floor…you can feel the cold of hell coming up through the ground."

"_Sirius_."

"I'm actually mad Lily said yes. I was ready for a nice hot afterlife. Now its frozen solid because Ice Queen Ev—"

"SIRIUS!"

The man with elegant black hair and a constant mischievous glint in his eyes just grinned at his messy haired bespectacled friend. Sirius wouldn't quit bringing up a now chilly Hades ever since James had arrived in the Great Hall after detention holding Lily's hand. James kept reprimanding him whenever he brought it up, but secretly he agreed. Hell _had _to have frozen...how else could he have the most perfect beautiful girl in the entire universe?

When they had walked into the Great Hall (after staring into each other's eyes in the most lovesick way, a way that made James' heart explode with love whenever he thought about it), they were greeted with scattered applause, incredulous looks, and whispers. James was scared Lily's fear of other's opinions would cause her to yank her hand out of his and run away. But she simply put on a smirk that rivaled James', tossed her hair, and pulled James to the Gryffindor table. Sirius muttered "whipped" under his breath as they sat down, but James didn't mind. If that was the price to pay for Lily, he would gladly take it. James had already happily handed Remus fifty galleons and Remus happily accepted. His prediction was correct – they had gotten together before graduation.

All of Lily's friends constantly swarmed around them like flies, cooing about how _romantic_ it was for James to serenade Lily in front of the school. Aurelia and Rita hung carefully back, rolling their eyes at the ridiculousness of Lily's large admiring group. Secretly they were glad they had squealed with Lily in private that evening, so they felt no need to do it in the hallways and at mealtimes.

"So Lily," Sirius asked when their cozy group had finally gotten a minute of peace from excited girls, "what finally persuaded you to say yes? I know it wasn't James' vocal talents."

"It sounded like a cat going through water torture," Peter squeakily clarified.

Lily laughed and grinned devilishly at Sirius, settling herself deeper into James' embrace on the couch. "You know what they say, keep your friends close and your enemies closer."

They all laughed, happy couples (minus a sullen Peter) sitting by the fire, enjoying life. The group, along with everyone else in Hogwarts, was trying to ignore the news of Voldemort slowly rising to power. Every death that had been reported in the Daily Prophet could not sufficiently trace the path back to Voldemort, but everyone knew he was behind the current terror reigning both wizard and Muggle worlds. They had no idea he was walking through the castle at this moment, preparing to ask Dumbledore for an opportunity to teach Defense Against Dark Arts at Hogwarts.

* * *

**Author Notes**: ((sheepish grin)) Remember I love you guys. Deeply. Truly.

I had to go back and re-read most of my story to remember my storyline, so I can't imagine how you guys must feel ((another sheepish grin)) but I saw sooooo many mistakes in my writing. They aren't only grammatical, but also plot consistency, and that severely bothers me. I don't have time to go back and edit it, so to those newly reading, I apologize.

The reason for this incredibly short chapter: I was at work and suddenly the scene with Sirius saying "hell froze over" popped into my head, and I _had_ to sit down and write this chapter out. No, I have no idea when I'm updating next. If no one is reading, I might not. I do have some pretty sweet things planned, though. I have finals in two weeks, plus work, plus summer classes, plus trying to write a book (if anyone wants to read the first few [unedited] chapters and critique me, email me at lostinmusic89 at gmail dot com!). So yeah. I basically only updated today because I got a brainwave I couldn't resist.

Review! Even if you hate it, or hate me (understandable), review review review!


	19. Marking your territory?

Summary: He thought she hated him. She thought she was just bragging rights. He kept missing his chances. She was running away scared. A story of love that follows Lily and James from 6th year until graduation. R/R!

Disclaimer: So no one sues me, I'm not JKR, I could never compare to JKR and you all know that. She is the almighty goddess of all things Harry Potter/magic. Her riches are not mine. Enjoy!

**Chapter Eighteen Summary: **The aftermath of Lily and James finally getting together. Sirius keeps saying hell froze over, James pays Remus fifty galleons, Lily isn't afraid of what the school thinks, James is in bliss. There is still evil going on despite the happiness, and Voldemort has gone to see Dumbledore about getting the DADA position.

**A/N: **Last chapter was a total cop-out. I'm sorry. I had the urge to write it but didn't have time to make a full thing of it, and I didn't want to wait a hundred years to stick it onto this chapter. Please forgive me ((dazzling smile)) and enjoy!

* * *

Lily had never really enjoyed Quidditch. Over the years, there had been exciting moments, and the after parties in the common room were always great fun, but the overall sport had never made her go crazy with anticipation like everyone else in the school.

This game wasn't exactly different for Lily. Once again, the overall game wasn't keeping her on the edge of her seat. There was one thing that was, though. One person to be exact.

She had never truly admired how well James flew. Lily supposed because she spent so many years pretending James was worthless; she had denied the fact he was outstanding at Quidditch, pranking, and schoolwork. Now that she was seeing clearly, the grace and beauty of James' flight was apparent. His diving, weaving, flipping and scoring was breathtaking. James seemed to glide more than any other player on the field, although there was an edge, a need to his flying that gave Lily the strangest thrill. Watching his desperation made her _need_ him more.

That was the greatest part, the realization that Lily's need was easily remedied since she did have him, and she wasn't letting go any time soon, never if she could help it. She had been such a fool, stubbornly believing she hated him. It had only hurt them both nearly beyond repair in the end. If only she had known she would have this glorious feeling of belonging to him and him belonging to her, Lily would have caved months sooner. Possibly even years.

"Potter scores again! That's 130 to 110, Gryffindor!" the announcer screamed. Lily came out of her James cloud and cheered with Aurelia, Remus and Peter in the stands.

"Ravenclaw is getting angry!" Peter shouted.

Remus nodded. "Rita needs to hurry up and get the Snitch, before Ravenclaw gets their edge back."

"She'll get it!" Peter said confidently.

Just as Peter spoke, Tom Vanpelt, Chaser for Ravenclaw, scored on Gryffindor's new 4th year Keeper, Roland Dale. The Gryffindors and supporters groaned as the score became much too close for comfort.

"Ladies and gentlemen, this game just became a nail biter!" the announcer screamed. "Mackenzie has possession of the Quaffle, passes to Woods, then Potter, then Woods, then Mackenzie, then Potter – look at him fly! –"

_I know_, Lily thought to herself, the same possessive and proud feeling coming over her as she watched him zoom towards the goal posts.

"Potter prepares for the shot – no! He throws it to Mackenzie who scores! 140 to 120, Gryffindor! Towsley in possession, passes to Vanpelt. Furbish beats back a Bludger sent by Black…AND GARBUNKAL HAS SEEN THE SNITCH!"

The crowd rose to its feet as Rita went zooming upwards, followed closely by Ravenclaw's Seeker and only female teammate, Hannah Kirbie. They twisted in the air as the Snitch tried desperately to hide away. Rita dodged a Bludger sent by Furbish, but Hannah was not so lucky. Her fellow teammate's tactic meant to wound the opposing team backfired and the whole stadium heard the crunch as the Bludger made contact with Hannah's knee. She crumpled against her broom and began to fall. Madam Hooch slowed her down so she hit the ground with an only slightly unpleasant thump as Rita caught the Snitch.

"AND GRYFFINDOR WINS! 290 TO 120!"

Lily screamed with the rest of the Gryffindors as the team huddled around Rita, congratulating her. Sirius kissed her full on the mouth in front of the entire school. McGonagall, who was next to Lily in the Professors' box, severely pursed her lips and Lily had a feeling Sirius would be earning a detention for that stunt.

As Lily turned her gaze back to the huddle in the sky, she saw a figure on a broom fast approaching her. A second later she recognized James, zipping to her with a huge grin on his face that made her heart melt.

"What are you doing over here?" Lily teased once he was close enough to hear her over the screaming. "Shouldn't you be receiving congratulations with the rest of your team?"

James landed and ignored the crowd patting him on the back, looking into Lily's eyes with a small smile on his face. "I wanted a congratulations from you," James whispered. His lips were so close Lily could feel the vibrations of his voice.

Unable to resist, Lily connected their lips and gave more congratulations then she could ever say. She broke away when McGonagall scandalously said, "Mr. Potter and Ms. Evans! Please _desist_!"

Lily's face turned scarlet and James gave her a lopsided grin. "Yes ma'am!" James said importantly to McGonagall and squeezed Lily's hand before he hopped onto his broom and followed his team into the locker rooms. Lily watched him go, wishing she could even get on a broom, much less fly with the exquisiteness James did, and then let herself be pulled back to the castle by her friends.

* * *

"Have you seen James?" Sirius asked as he entered the dorm room, throwing down his book bag as he did so.

Remus looked up from his book. "Not since Potions with you. Why?"

Sirius shrugged as he pulled off his cloak. "Just haven't seen him since Potions. He was supposed to get together with me on our free period and get our Transfiguration homework for the week out of the way. But he never showed up."

"He was probably with Lily," Remus said absentmindedly, turning back to his book.

Snorting, Sirius removed his shoes and tie and then flopped backward on the bed, sighing irately as he did so. Remus looked at his best friend, then put his book down next to him on the bed. He sat up and said, "Okay. What's wrong?"

It didn't take much effort to extract information from Sirius. He immediately began his tirade. "I only ever see him _alone _after Quidditch practice or here. But he's barely in here." Sirius sighed again, then looked sideways at Remus. "Don't get me wrong, I'm bloody happy for him. It's nice to see him happy. But…" Sirius trailed off , looking down at his bedspread.

"But you miss him," Remus finished for him. Sirius shrugged.

They sat in silence for a moment. Remus finally said, "I feel the same way–"

Sirius punched the bedspread. "_Thank you_. I thought I was just being a horrible friend."

"Let me finish. I feel the same way, but we have to remember how we were when we first started dating Rita and Aurelia. How often did we hang out with James?"

Sirius waved his hand dismissively. "That's different. He was still spending all his time with Lily."

"Only because–"

"I talked to Rita, she says Lily still finds plenty of time to hang out with her and Aurelia. It's just a problem James has…" Sirius continued, ignoring Remus.

Sighing, Remus picked his book back up. It was no use trying to make Sirius to see reason.

* * *

"Bloody good practice, everyone," James said enthusiastically to his team some weeks later. "We should be in good shape for the Slytherin match. Everyone rest up this weekend, catch up on homework, because I'm going to start double practices–"

Everyone groaned loudly.

"–to be ready for the match," James continued over the groans. "Again, good work. Team dismissed."

His team began complaining about the amount of work they had to do as they walked off the pitch. Rita held her hand out for Sirius to walk to the locker room with her, but he simply kissed her cheek and whispered, "I'm going to talk to James, I'll see you later."

Rita nodded. "Good luck," she whispered back, and made her way to the lockers.

Sirius watched her walk away, then went over to James who was closing the lid on the equipment box. "Want a hand?" he asked.

"Yeah, mate," James said, grabbing one handle and offering the other to James.

They walked in silence for a minute. Sirius decided to test James before he started his discussion. "When we get, changed do you want to work on that prank we talked about this summer? You know, the contortionist one?"

James wrinkled his nose. "I didn't really like that one. Plus, I think Lily is expecting me. We haven't had much alone time lately."

Sirius snorted as they stowed away the equipment box and began changing. "Really? You seem to be around her all the time."

Shrugging, James said, "Not really. We are always around other people or studying."

Sirius finished changing and looked incredulously at James. "Last night you ditched me and Peter because you were off with _her_. And I know you weren't studying because Remus was on patrol and caught you two on top of the Astronomy Tower."

James started laughing. "First off, ditched is a strong word, and are you having Remus follow me?"

Without warning, Sirius slammed his locker shut. James jumped and started to ask what was wrong when Sirius said, "Whatever. Treat it as a huge joke. See if I care."

With that, Sirius stormed out of the locker room, heading to the castle. He didn't slow when James raced after him, calling his name or when Rita asked him what was wrong as he stomped through the common room and up to the dormitory. Once he got there, he growled angrily and the dormitory door shut with a bang on its own accord. Sirius threw himself onto the bed, kicking a post on the way.

A second later the door burst open and James marched into the room, stowing his wand away. "What the hell was that about?" he demanded.

Sirius sat up on the bed and began shouting. "You are always with her! I'm with you at meal times, on breaks, and during class, but she's always _there_! I see you alone at practice for about five minutes, and then in the morning here, but that's only enough time to complain about homework and rave about how wonderful Lily is. I feel like I don't have a best friend anymore!"

James sputtered, "That's not true!"

"Oh yes it is, James."

"Where did all this come from?" James asked. "Lily and I have been together for a month and you haven't even hinted that you were pissed off."

"Let's see," Sirius said sarcastically, putting a finger to his chin, "maybe because I never see you. That couldn't possibly be it!"

James held his hand up. "Don't be like that."

"Like what?"

"Like I'm a complete imbecile for not realizing you were angry. Just because you're mad I'm finally _happy_."

Sirius gaped at him. "I'm mad you're happy? Where is the logic in that? I am beyond glad you two idiots are finally together."

"Don't call her an idiot!"

"I was calling you one, too!"

"When you and Rita first started going out, I never saw you. Ever. And I didn't like it, but I knew it made you happy so I supported you!" James shot at him.

"Oh please!" Sirius said. "You used the little time we were apart to get cozy with Lily!"

"But I wanted my best friend!" James protested.

"Well, now you know how I feel."

James ran a hand through his hair and glared at Sirius. "Look, I'm sorry you're jealous of Lily–"

"Jealous? You think I want to spend my free time snogging you?" Sirius snapped.

"You know exactly what I mean," James said as calmly as he could. "You are jealous she is getting all of my time–"

"You just think you are so important, don't you?" Sirius interrupted again.

"Fine!" James finally growled, unable to deal with him when he was being like this. "You say I spend too much time with her, and then when I say you're upset she is getting all of my time, you get pissed off. Be that way, Sirius. When you figure out what exactly you're upset about, let me know."

James left the dorm, slamming the door behind him. When he reached the common room, everyone was looking at him and James realized that their shouting must have been quite loud.

"I'm guessing you guys didn't settle anything," Rita said when James reached the sofa all of his friends were at.

"You knew he was upset?" James asked.

Rita nodded. Lily took James' hand and pulled him onto the sofa. "Let him calm down," she said quietly. "And you do need to make more time for him. I make time for Rita and Aurelia."

"If you think I'm making time for that prat…" James started angrily, then diffused it mid-sentence. He looked at Remus, who was sitting on the floor next to Aurelia. "Am I really ignoring you guys that much?"

Remus looked uncomfortable. "It's true we don't see you very often. I mean, we haven't done a prank since the first week of school. Not that I'm complaining…"

James shut his eyes and let out a breath of air. "I'm sorry," he said, then rested his head in the crook of Lily's neck. "Now _I_ feel like a prat."

"It's not your fault," Lily said, brushing his messy hair. "It's mine, too. In fact," Lily sat up a little bit, "I'll go talk to him."

James gave a short laugh and pulled Lily back down as she tried to stand up. "Yeah right. He might be madder at you than at me. And you wouldn't like him when he's angry."

"He's been angry at me before," Lily said confidently, kissing the tip of James' nose. "I'll be right back, and I'll be perfectly fine. If the shouting gets really bad, Rita can come up."

James looked like he would protest, but Lily gave him a puppy dog look, and he nodded reluctantly.

Hesitantly, Lily knocked on the door of the boys' dormitory. "You can go away James, or Remus. If it's Rita, I'll talk to you tomorrow," was the voice that answered her.

"Wrong on all counts. It's Lily, can I come in for a second?"

The silence was so long that Lily took that to mean she wasn't welcome. She was turning to leave when she heard an angry sigh and the heavy padding of feet when the door opened. "How can I help you?" Sirius sneered.

"I just wanted to talk for a second," Lily said calmly.

"Why, so you can tell me to shut it and let James spend all his time with you?" Sirius lashed.

Lily looked at him seriously in the eyes. "Do you really believe I would think that, let alone say it?"

Sirius looked at his feet and shook his head once. "The old Lily might," he said, trying to maintain his anger.

"Can I come in?" Lily persisted.

Sirius swung the door further to let her in. Lily walked to the bed she knew was James' and sat there. Sirius rolled his eyes at her selection. "Marking your territory?"

"Would you rather I sat on your bed?"

Laughing sincerely, Sirius shook his head. "James would murder me. Rita too, probably."

Lily smiled with him. "Then I'll just stay here."

Shrugging, Sirius sat himself on his bed, his eyes a little less dark. "What did you want to say?"

Lily thought being straightforward was the best way to handle the situation. "There is no need for you and James to be fighting. I'm sorry I've stolen so much of his time. We have just waited so long to be together–"

"Too true," Sirius injected.

"–and we are finding it a little difficult to manage our priorities."

"You seem to be managing yours much better than him," Sirius said bitterly.

Lily laughed. "I have lots of practice. James, you and James, are more of the spur-of-the-moment kind of guys."

Smirking a little, Sirius said, "Maybe you should help with that during all that time you spend together."

"I'm going to try really hard to not make me an issue in your friendship ever again," Lily promised. "Remember last year, when you basically told me to grow up and stop messing with James?" Sirius nodded. Lily stood and went over to his bed, taking his hand. Sirius smiled at the irony of the situation. "You have no idea how much you helped me, how much you helped both of us. For that I owe you, and if giving you more time with James to do things that I probably won't approve of–" Sirius sniggered "–is the least I can do, I will gladly give it to you."

"Even if what we are doing is planning a way to make it impossible for freaks like you to study non-stop for N.E.W.T.'s?" Sirius joked.

Lily mock-grimaced. "Just don't tell me what you're doing in advance."

Sirius laughed and patted her hand. "You're alright, Evans. I'm happy my idiot of a friend is with you."

Lily grinned. "I'm glad my idiot of a boyfriend has you for a best mate."

* * *

**Author Notes**: Sucky chapter, I know. Part of the reason it took me forever to get this out, and the last chapter (besides mountains of real life blocking my path to the computer), is because I was not looking forward to transitioning into Lily and James' relationship. I wrote a Sirius jealousy scene in Hogsmeade Kiss that I thought was pretty good, but I wanted to make this one a little different. I struggled with that, and that is why it sucks. Plus I feel all guilty for not working on more of my original stories and instead playing in JK Rowling's world. I promise the next chapter (whenever it comes out) will be much fluffier.

Please R/R!


	20. In Control

Summary: He thought she hated him. She thought she was just bragging rights. He kept missing his chances. She was running away scared. A story of love that follows Lily and James from 6th year until graduation. R/R!

Disclaimer: So no one sues me, I'm not JKR, I could never compare to JKR and you all know that. She is the almighty goddess of all things Harry Potter/magic. Her riches are not mine. Enjoy!

**Chapter Nineteen Summary: **Lily and James are glowing with the joys of young love. Sirius begins to feel jealous of Lily since he never gets to hang out with James one on one anymore. After complaining about it to everyone else, Sirius decides to finally confront James about it. Neither handles the situation well and leave each other angrily. Lily decides to talk to Sirius face to face and they work out the last of their differences.

**Song Credit: **Can I Have A Kiss by Kelly Clarkson

**A/N: **Ick. Sorry about the major typos and mess-ups in the last chapter. If I wrote with more frequency, I would get a beta reader.

* * *

"I can't believe we pulled this off," Sirius said, throwing down a quill and stretching in his chair.

"Against my better judgment, I am impressed with ourselves," Remus said simply, rifling through their plans and spell lists.

James ran his hands through his wild hair. "I told you we only needed to find the right spell to make it work."

"But that spell could have taken months to find," Peter reminded him.

"Ah, but we found it one week," James replied, holding up a wise finger.

"I can't believe we pulled this off," Sirius repeated.

Trying to halt the arrogance that was sure to come, Remus said, "We haven't pulled off anything yet. It all works on paper–"

"When has what we have on paper _not_ worked?" James smirked.

"Exactly," Sirius agreed.

"I still don't understand how the spell is able to cover such a wide area, with so many specific pieces," Peter said, looking at one of their diagrams upside down.

"What spell would that be?" a voice asked.

Quickly the men pulled out their wands and, in perfect synchronization, piled the papers together and floated them out of sight. They then turned to the person addressing them. "Hey honey," James said, shooting Lily a crooked smile and running a hand through his hair, moves that would have sent her over the edge a year ago.

For now, she settled on rolling her eyes and putting an arm around his shoulders. He wrapped his own around her waist as she examined the clear table. "What spell was Peter having trouble understanding? I'm sure I could help."

Lily said the words innocently, too innocently, James thought. He shot his fellow Marauders a look that said the enemy is on the trail. "Peter was just asking about the wards on Hogwarts and other secure establishments like the Ministry and Gringotts," James replied smoothly.

"Then why was it so important to hide what you were studying?" Lily asked sweetly, running her fingers through James' hair.

All four men kept completely silent. Lily looked at each of them in turn, then focused her gaze on Remus. "You'll tell me what's going on, because you believe in following rules."

Remus looked at her for a long time while Sirius, James, and Peter glanced nervously at each other. Finally, Remus replied, "I have no idea what you are talking about, Lily."

Lily glared, then looked at Peter. "You don't want to get in trouble for playing a dangerous prank, do you Peter?"

Peter began quivering slightly, and the other three thought that Peter would spill. Then he said, "I have no idea what you are talking about, Lily."

Lily sighed. She passed over Sirius, no way she could get him to break, then turned with inspiration in her eyes to James. Lily wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned her forehead against his, making sure to keep him trapped in her emerald stare. "James," she whispered, desire coloring her tone.

James leaned closer so their lips were almost touching. His eyes were heavy and his friends rolled their eyes. "Yes?" he asked breathlessly.

Slowly, Lily began kissing James. Remus shuddered, Sirius made gagging noises, and Peter stared, horrified.

When they finally broke apart, Lily said, "Aren't you going to tell me what you're planning?"

Grinning, James stood up, knocking Lily's feet out from under her and catching her before she hit the ground. Lily gasped and clung to James tighter. "I am going to make you regret your attempt at subterfuge," he growled.

James jogged out of the common room, leaving the chorus of "Gross!" and "My eyes!" behind him. There was no way in hell James was going to tell Lily about their prank, but her seduction had made his mind wander to the _many_ things he wanted to do to her.

They made it to their private common room in record time and miraculously crossed no one. James blurted the password, rushed in and put Lily down to seal the door behind him. He threw the wand away as soon as he was done and captured her face in his hands, kissing her with ten times the force she had exerted in the common room. Lily moaned, making James' blood race, and began fumbling for the clasp of his robe. He copied the movements on her robe and soon they were standing in their uniforms.

Lily twisted the fabric of his shirt in her hands and began navigating him towards the nearest piece of furniture that, luckily, was a sofa. She untangled herself from him for a moment, enough time to push him over the arm. James flopped down, stunned, and Lily climbed on top of him, picking up where they left off.

James groaned, his hands roaming through her hair and down her back. "I thought I was in control," he protested half-heartedly.

"You are never in control," Lily said. Her voice had deepened from the tension between them and James caught her bottom lip with his teeth, gently pulling her towards him again.

Clumsily, Lily tugged off his tie and began unbuttoning his shirt. James' heart rate impossibly increased as he ran his hands down her sides and to her thighs. After a moment he realized her skirt had ridden up, just like it had done that day in potions last year.

Instinct took over and James crushed Lily to him, flipping so he was on top of her. Lily squealed from the rapid change then began attacking his neck as she finished with his shirt buttons. In the little space between them, she began running her hands over the expanse of his chest, feeling the hard Quidditch muscles underneath. She let her thumbs trace the skin just over the waistline of his pants.

"Oh God, Lily," James moaned, capturing her mouth for one deep kiss before he began working his way down her neck.

Lily muttered his name repeatedly and her legs wrapped around his waist on their own accord. James purred and sent one hand to explore the expanse of her thigh while the other wove itself into her red tresses. His lips were marking her neck and Lily buried her hands in his hair, moving his face down to the cleavage of her shirt.

This move sent James into seventh heaven, and terrified him. He stopped all of his movements and looked into Lily's shining green eyes, dark with lust. That almost made him forget what he was going to say and continue exploring her body. But the small rational part of his brain forced him to take a deep breath. "Lily, we are moving really fast. Do you want to slow it down a little?"

Still panting, Lily unwrapped her legs from James' waist and sat up a little. Despite his declaration, James couldn't bear to move his hand from her perfect exposed thigh. "No, I don't want to stop," Lily replied and James' whole body shouted victory, "but I know I would if my body wasn't screaming for you right now."

James smiled and pulled her into his lap. "Every part of me is screaming for you. My body, my mind, my heart."

Lily laughed. "That is so cheesy," she said adoringly, kissing him gently to stay in control. After all, she could feel every one of James' muscles through his open shirt.

* * *

The next morning Lily awoke to a throbbing pain in her lower back. "Ungh," she grunted as she sat up. She realized a second to late that her feet were on the floor, and her back was against something stable but soft. Lily looked around her and realized she was sitting on a couch.

At first, she thought she had fallen asleep in the Heads common room, but a moment later she clearly remembered walking back to the Gryffindor common room with James. Besides, the couch was located in her normal dorm room, right where her bed should be.

"What the hell?" Rita asked groggily from the bed to her right. Except when Lily looked over, Rita was sitting on a couch, just like herself. "Why are we on couches?" Rita asked, moving her hands over the expanse of hers as if she were confirming its existence.

Lily blinked, then groaned, putting her face in her hands. "The Marauders were planning a prank last night."

"How do you know?"

"They hid it from me and wouldn't tell me what they we working on. It had to be a prank."

Rita nodded. "Yeah, must've been. I call bathroom first."

Just like that, they went on with their morning routine, only acknowledging the couches when Aurelia and Calypso woke up, wondering where their beds were. Soon the girls had all dressed and gathered their things. Together they walked down to the common room, complaining about last night's homework and deciding what they were going to eat for breakfast.

They began walking across the common room to the portrait hole as if it was any other day. Soon they realized their beloved common room was not how it usually was. Instead of sofas and chairs, the room was filled with the four-poster beds that should be in their dormitories.

"It's switched," Aurelia said, the first to connect the two abnormalities of the morning.

Calypso rolled her eyes and went out the portrait hole. She was a little bitter at the Marauders for settling down and had little tolerance for their pranks anymore.

"I wonder who had to wake up on the chairs," Rita pondered aloud as they surveyed the room for their beds.

"First and second years, and a few third years, I'm afraid," Sirius said behind them. The girls turned to see the Marauders shuffling down the boys' staircase. "It was the only fair way. Of course we made sure the worst Slytherin gits got the chairs from the common room, no matter what year they are."

"This is in _every_ common room?" Lily asked, awe evident in her voice.

"Whoa, Lily-flower is impressed!?" Sirius said, clutching a hand to his chest dramatically.

"Don't call me that," she scolded as James took her hand. He kissed her cheek, his mouth lingering by her earlobe. It gave Lily chills, her mind wandered to being tangled with him on the couch in the Heads' common room–

"Shall we?" Remus asked, snapping Lily out of her fantasy. No, not fantasy any longer. Her _memory._

They made their way out of the portrait hole and down the stairs.

"Anything else in store for us today?" Aurelia asked. Instead of speaking like normal, her words came out as a song.

"Why are you singing?" Rita asked. But she sang, just like Aurelia.

"What's going on?" Lily sang the question, putting her free hand to her throat.

James grinned. "Everything you say will come out in a song." He joined the literal chorus of voices coming from the hallways.

"How do you stop it?" all three girls trilled at once.

"Sing," Remus replied with melody.

"We are!"

Shaking his head, Remus corrected, "No, don't try to talk. Try to sing."

All at once, Lily, Rita, and Aurelia spoke different song lyrics. "That's going to be confusing," Lily said, her eyes narrowed with concentration.

"Just don't tell anyone else the secret," Sirius sang.

They reached the Great Hall and saw another strange sight. Instead of four house tables and one staff table, there were eight smaller house tables and one smaller staff table. The new multiple house tables were grouped in twos around lines of larger-than-normal chairs which were filled with the food normally on the house tables. The staff table was set behind a line of the chairs, also piled with food.

"So, everything is opposite?" Aurelia said slowly, concentrating on singing so she could speak normally.

"Exactly!" Peter sang off-key.

"The classrooms are different, too," Remus sang, "The students sit at teacher desks and the teachers sit at student desks. Plus the teachers have to sing their lectures for the rest of the day."

McGonagall strode over to the group just as they sat criss-cross-applesauce on top of the tables to eat off the chairs. She simply scowled at the boys, not speaking so she wouldn't have to sing.

"It was me, Professor," James said confidently. He had volunteered to take the fall to make up for blowing off his friends for time with Lily.

McGonagall continued to look at him. James guessed what she might be after. "As usual, Professor, there is a set time frame for the spell. It won't be undone until after dinner. So you will have to continue singing until then."

Glaring, McGonagall sang four simple words. "No Hogsmeade this weekend."

"What!?" James shouted, well, tried to shout. It came out like a faux opera singer.

McGonagall held up her hand to end the conversation and walk to the staff table that Dumbledore was happily sitting on top of, making him look like an older, skinnier Buddha.

James huffed, the sound coming out like a croon in between the chorus and bridge. He had been planning to get many things that Hogsmeade trip, including his Christmas present for Lily.

"I'll take care of anything you need while I'm there," Sirius sang soberly, patting his friend's shoulder.

"It's alright, James," Lily deliberately spoke. "You should be proud of how brilliant this magic is."

"Lily-flower admitted our pranks are brilliant!" Sirius sang, hitting an unheard of high note that made everyone within a ten-foot vicinity rub their ears.

James shook his head, coming out of his funk a little. "No, she said _I_ was brilliant." He gave her a peck on the lips and sang low so no one else could hear, "I'll thank you properly later."

* * *

"Here is the gold you need," James said, handing a small tinkering bag to Sirius. "Spend it _only _on the things on my list. I have just enough to get everything I need."

Sirius held the gold solemnly to his heart. "I shall guard it with my life!" he said in a horrible Spanish accent, bowing deeply.

James analyzed his best friend for a moment, then said, "Remus?"

"Got it covered, mate," Remus replied, tugging a sweater over his head.

"And the necklace, you _have_ to remember the necklace," James said, now speaking to Remus. "And make sure–"

"Make sure the stone is an emerald and that the chain is silver. I've got it," Remus assured him.

"Have fun!" Sirius called as he, Remus, and Peter walked out of the dormitory, leaving James standing in the middle of their room alone. He flopped on his bed and looked around, trying to figure out what to do with the rarely empty room. Unfortunately, nothing interesting came to his mind.

Sighing sadly and hoping Sirius didn't spend all of his gold on rubbish, James lazily Summoned a copy of _Transfiguration Today_ and began flipping through it. He wondered if Lily was going with Aurelia and Rita. If that were the case, then she would be hanging out with his friends. He already missed her.

There was a knock at his dorm room door and James sat up warily. Did Sirius, Remus, or Peter forget something? No, they would just walk in. "Come in…?" James asked, confused.

The door swung open and James' heart skipped as he smiled at the gorgeous redhead who just walked into his room. Lily leaned against his bedpost and returned the smile, dressed in muggle attire that consisted of flared jeans and a black short-sleeved Beatles shirt with a white long sleeved jacket zipped to her belly button. The sides of her fiery hair were pulled back in a barrette with two bangs framing her face. James had to shake himself out of examining her by asking, "What are you doing here? I thought you would go to Hogsmeade…"

Scoffing, Lily swung slightly back and forth on his bedpost and said playfully, "Are you not happy to see me?"

James threw his magazine aside and sat up on his pillows. "Well, I was hoping you would bring me back an extravagant present."

Lily grinned and swung onto the edge of his bed. "I'm the girl, you're supposed to buy me the extravagant presents." James rolled his eyes and Lily leaned forward to smack him, but James' reflexes were superb and he grabbed Lily's hand, pulling her toward him. She had been tantalizing him, keeping her distance. Lily allowed herself to be pulled and lowered herself next to him, resting her head on James' shoulder as he idly played with the hand he had grabbed. "I actually was going to go and get you some chocolate from Honeydukes, but I'd rather spend the day with you than babysitting the Marauders while Aurelia and Rita looked on with lovesick expressions."

"That's sweet, even sweeter than chocolate," James said, kissing her forehead. Lily hummed happily and snuggled closer to her new boyfriend. "Hey, don't move," James muttered, looking transfixed into her emerald eyes.

"Why?" Lily asked, raising her head slightly.

"Because I want to remember you, just like this," James said, snaking his left arm around her waist while his right still played with her hand.

Lily smiled. "Now _that's_ sweet." And because she couldn't resist it any longer, she connected her lips to his in a slow and gentle kiss.

"I still can't believe it," James said, eyes still closed even though their lips had parted. "Ever since I was eleven I only thought about you. And it took six bloody years of fights, jealousy, and a hell of a lot of pain. Now – " James opened his eyes and kissed Lily's nose. " – you're here with me. I'm allowed to hold you, to kiss you and you won't hex me or try to run."

James shook his head in disbelief and Lily, heart aching, put a hand to his cheek. "I'm here," she said softly, combing a hand through James mess of hair. "I'm so sorry what I put you through, but you can believe it. I promise I won't run and I will only hex you if you really deserve it." James laughed through his nose. "So you better be on your best behavior, young man."

"Well," James began with a sigh, "I can't promise anything – "

Lily tutted and went to smack his chest, but James rolled her on to her back and pinned her beneath his weight. "That's not fair!" Lily gasped, but she was smiling.

"What? Can little Miss Head Girl and best at everything not think her way out of this?" James asked sarcastically.

Wriggling to no avail, Lily smiled mischievously and replied. "Oh no, I can get out of this easy…"

And with that, Lily pressed her lips to James fiercely. Lily's plan worked and James let go of her wrists, wrapping his arms around her back. Lily's fingers wound their way into James' hair and pulled his face to hers.

"So I'm never going to be in control?" James asked when they parted to take a breath.

"Not a chance," Lily said, looking up at him under her lashes. James rubbed his nose against hers before locking his lips to hers once again.

* * *

**Author Notes:** The whole reason I decided to write a chapter was because of my jerk psychology teacher. We were studying Sternberg's Triangular Love model and he assigned us homework were we had to answer questions based on a scale of 1 to 10 thinking of our significant other's name whom we love. If we didn't have a significant other, we had to use a past one we loved. I've never been "in love" and I am currently single. He said, "In the unlucky situation where you have never been, and are not currently, in love, then answer the questions as you ideally think you would feel about the object of your love." The questions were impossible to answer if you didn't have a specific person in mind. So I pictured how Lily would answer these questions concerning James in the current stage of their relationship. I learned a lot about my version of Lily, and I think James would have answered the questions more favorably.

Aaaannnndddd end rant. **R/R!**


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